What decisions in my life gave me the biggest growth?

Here are some of them:

Career:

The decision to start my own advertising hot-shop, Purple Patch in my first career. I learned to manage money, people, time, clients - in a way I would never have been able to, prior to that.

The decision to learn Xactly, and become a freelance Commissions Analyst in my second career.

I learned to be flexible.

I learned to adapt to different client’s needs, priorities, quirks, and limitations - over 17 clients in all.

I became the ideal temp in the process.

Hobbies:

The decision to start a blog.

I grew into a writer, who cared less about making an impression, and into a writer, who cared about sharing my thoughts, having an influence, leaving a legacy, and helping people avoid the mistakes I have made.

Over time, my writing has become simpler and simpler.

I aim to reach the maximum number of readers.

I do this with answering questions on Quora as well.

Quora has been a great lab.

If an answer of mine gets a lot of views on Quora, I understand the question must be important to a lot of people.

So I republish the Quora answer on my blog, so it can benefit the readers of my blog.

Author Joseph Sestito helped me to become less self-cherishing in my writing.

I have hit the publish button on blog posts and Quora answers, even when I am uncertain about their quality, thanks to reading his book, Write For Your Lives.

I have matured into a less self-cherishing person, overall, thanks to the wisdom that time, experience, reading, listening, conversing, meditating, and attending Sunday services, has brought me.

Finances:

The decision to become financially savvy.

Becoming a freelancer made me sharply aware of the need.

Freelancers cannot afford to take their eye off of their finances.

There will be gaps between assignments, when no money comes in.

I made the decision to become a freelancer, knowing this fully well.

I felt I was in a good position to become a freelancer.

I had low monthly bills to pay, being a minimalist.

I had absorbed the idea that minimalism is the shortest route to financial freedom, by reading online articles by Mr. Money Mustache and other FIRE advocates, for years before.

I doubled down on the idea, after becoming a freelancer, giving myself the goal to create FMG money.

FMG money is necessary for success if you are a freelancer, or any sort of self-employed person - whether hairdresser, or electrician, personal trainer, or consultant.

I was in great shape to create FMG money, for one thing, having done my taxes myself continuously since 2003, and two, having read a lot of finance books, including Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad Poor Dad, which was a wake-up book for me.

When it came to my stock investments, I ate humble pie and donuts early, and never looked back.

Life Choices

The decision to have a child.

It changed my habits, and changed my priorities.

Suddenly, there was this little thing that was completely dependent on me for everything.

I became more responsible.

I stopped drinking, not wanting to be in the position where I might need to take my daughter to a doctor, in an impaired state.

Instead of typical job benefits like more money and promotions, I asked for flexibility.

Different stages of my child's life called for different things.

So I became a different version of myself at every stage.

At this stage, Support Mom and Lighthouse Mom, are the most appropriate roles.

Relationships:

I have made my share of mistakes.

In some cases, the mistakes were because of a crisis.

What's important, is I am in a better place now, in each of my relationships - as a parent, as an ex, as a sibling, as an in-law, as a friend.

I learned to meditate in the fall of 2010, after reading the book How God Changes Your Brain.

Since then, I have worked on my anger management issues.

I have become more self-reflective.

It opened my eyes to all the "irritable unspoken commentary" that ran in my head, in response to what people said, did, even posted.

Of course, I was always right, and the other person was always wrong.

As Robert Heinlein says, "Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal." 

I decided to improve myself inside and out.

Become  a low maintenance person.

I stopped immediately trying to launch a defense of actions and ideas, that other people do not share, or subscribe to.

Since 2014, I also began attending church on Sundays.

Attending church has become a meaningful part of my week.

I have had many spiritual breakthroughs and creative breakthroughs, right there in church.

Speaking of creative breakthroughs, there is one from many years ago, in fact in my early years of meditation, which I never tire of sharing.

My 3 benches experience.

I find it hard to dismiss it as a pure coincidence.

Life brings us bouquets and blows.

Life brings us laughter and tears.

Life brings us things we are proud of, and things we regret.

Life brings us all that we see, hear, touch, taste, smell, read, experience, and think about.

Most of all, life brings us other lives.

All of them contribute to our growth.

After being defiantly individual, I learned to cooperate with all the other lives in my life.

After being defiantly self-centered, I became other-centered, welcoming the role of infinite wisdom, and “the other artist”.

In my quest for growth, I no longer walk alone.

There is infinite wisdom to help me grow in the future.

Grow happily, grow wisely, grow well.

How do wealthy people avoid potentially career-ending decisions?

Wealthy people do not have to worry so much about career-ending decisions.

What they have to worry about, is wealth-ending decisions.

Wealth can be lost by slow leaks.

Wealth can also be lost in the blink of an eye.

Those who put their trust in Bernie Madoff, learned the hard way, that wealth can be lost in the blink of an eye.

Wealth can be lost, in so many different ways.

• Poor investment choices.
• Taking unnecessary risks.
• Making risky investment gambles.
• Lack of diversification.
•  Not saving enough.
•  Not letting compounding work.

• Saving only to spend on immediate pleasures and gratifications.
• Spending too much when buying a house, a car.
• Spending to keep up with the Joneses.
• Having expensive tastes early in your career trajectory.
• Getting involved in sketchy deals.
• Letting addictions, whether to substances, or to gambling, or to sex, get the better of one.
• Taking on unnecessary debt.
• Not paying things on time.
• Causing oneself unnecessary payments, through fines, parking tickets, tows etc.
• Making accidental or deliberate errors on one’s W4.
• Not paying one's taxes, or doing sketchy things, to avoid paying taxes.
• Using one’s home equity as a bank to draw money from.
• Saving in tax-deferred vehicles such as 401Ks, and Traditional IRAs - only to take out money, before turning 59 and a half, and and paying a hefty penalty plus tax.
• Being ignorant (or irresponsible) about taxes, insurance, and other information required to protect wealth.

On the other hand, here are the things wealthy people do:

• Wealthy people put their wealth in different buckets.
• They make sure they have enough money in the cash bucket - Cash is not just for emergencies. It is also for opportunities. It doesn't matter that the cash is not earning much, or growing much, such as at times when interest rates on cash are low. The principal purpose of the cash bucket is to be available for opportunities and emergencies. It is not to earn money. Wealthy people have money in other buckets, which are growing and earning money.
• Wealthy people let compounding work for them - This means they resist taking out money from their 401Ks and their IRAs, before turning 59 and a half.
• They also don't get impatient and chase "fast buck" opportunities.
• Compounding is boring, but wealthy people know that boring is good, and boring will get the job done.
• Wealthy people insure all their assets appropriately - with the right insurance companies, and the right coverage.
• Wealthy people never get themselves into an unmanageable debt hole, by letting interest build up upon interest upon interest.

• Wealthy people know what to expect at tax time. They use calculators such as the Dinkytown.net 1040 calculator to model their taxes ahead of time, so there are no unnecessary surprises. They know all the tax brackets, and in fact, many are able to do their taxes manually, because they have familiarized themselves with the ins and outs of the tax code, keeping up with yearly changes. J K Lasser is a familiar name to them.

• Wealthy people let compounding work for them. They let their money grow.
• Wealthy people never scramble to pay their credit card off every month, never scramble to pay their bills, never scramble to pay their taxes.
• Wealthy use their money and assets to make money. In solid ways, not hustling high-risk schemes, which can go sideways fast, or turn out to be empty shells. Wealthy people aim to reach a stage, where they don’t have to work for money - they can work, purely because they enjoy working, or enjoy the work they do.

A simple wow to make today, in order to get to the same place, without the missteps...

Become less of a hustler, scrambler, and gambler.

Every time you hustle or scramble, make a note of it.

Make a note of the reasons why you are hustling, scrambling, or gambling.

Is it because you are short of money?

Is it because you made a wrong decision, and now you are trying to correct for it?

Is it because it is thrilling to make a fast buck?

Make a wow to yourself, to break free of hustling, scrambling, and gambling.

Make a vow to get on the boring "gets you there" path, and to follow a sane philosophy of investing.

Do this….and you will be on the path to "comfortable security", which is a luxury for most people.

Which path do you want to be on?

Path 1 - the path to comfortable security, which is a luxury for most people.

Path 2 - the path most people find themselves on - the path of hustling, scrambling, gambling, and grinding on.

The choice is yours.