Sunday, May 26, 2019

How Do I Make A Bad Situation Work In My Favor?


“How do you make a bad situation work in your favor?”
When an upsetting or discouraging thing happens, don’t throw up your hands.
Try to think of a compassionate response or action.
This will usually work in your favor.
Here is an example from my life...
This happened at a movie theater.
I went to see the movie Winchester with a friend.
Seated next to us were 2 people, an older lady and a young man.
After the movie started, the lady would turn to her companion every few minutes and speak in a foreign language.
This was terribly distracting.
My initial thought was to turn to her and say “Could you please stop talking”, or “Do you mind moving to some other seats where we won’t be disturbed by your talking”.
But my better self prevailed.
I turned to her and said in a soft and neutral voice, “I am not able to follow the movie.”
She said, ‘Oh, I am so sorry. The person I am with doesn’t know English, so I was translating for him. I will stop.”
This was when I turned the moment into a real growth opportunity.
Moved by her predicament, I turned to her again, gave her a comforting pat on the arm, and said, “It’s okay, go ahead and translate, I think I can manage”.
And I really meant it.
She did not take me up on it.
But by recognizing her need and giving her the go head, she knew I cared about her predicament and that’s all that mattered.
This is how you make a bad situation work in your favor.
You choose a compassionate response, instead of anger, irritation, resentment, self-pity, or doubt.
Keep in mind, sometimes the compassionate response may be no response at all.
Just a cheerful acceptance!

My post, How To Live A Good Life Part 6 gives you an example.
As always, thanks for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to keep seeking wisdom which is hidden in plain sight.

Thanks for all your comments on my recent posts, and your likes, pins, shares, tweets, votes and contributions…..much appreciated….M ……a Pearl Seeker like you. 

Last but not least, Happy Birthday to all those with May birthdays.  Hope your birthday month has birthed some new and wonderful things in your life. Like new and better solutions to things which are troubling you.

Posts to help you on your journey…




Sunday, May 19, 2019

Certified Fresh

Asma Menon has written a book best described as Certified Fresh
Story is what makes a memoir compelling.
Angela’s Ashes” is an example.
But I recently read Asma Menon's memoir Moonlight Baby (written as a collection of 13 stories) which has 2 things going for it.
Story plus a unique style.
Make that very unique style.
Certified Fresh is the label I would put on Moonlight Baby.
I found the reading “is this for real” exciting.
Moonlight Baby is an artsy book, like nothing I have read before.
But then that’s not surprising, since it is written by Asma Menon, who is an artist and lives in Cholamandalam, or some other artists colony outside Chennai.
A few samples of her art are featured midway through the book, with accompanying text.
Ms. Menon qualifies as “ordinary" (=non-famous) people”.
But I wouldn’t be surprised if this book puts her on the map.
From the title and the foreword itself, Moonlight Baby promises to be a different read from anything you are used to reading.
Shards of a word/comment/anecdote/childhood, have been dusted. Mosaics have been added to resurrect a snippet/prose/lyrics/short story. Embellished and polished.
Who writes like that?
Ms. Menon does apparently.
Why did I not beat her to the punch of this unique style?
Why did I not think about dropping pronouns like she does, saying “Brother instead of “My brother”, Mother instead of ‘My Mother’, “Big Sister” instead of “My sister”.
And the endings.
I loved the endings to each of the 13 stories.
How did she know where to end the story and how to end the story?
How did she get the endings exactly right?
This being her first book.
All this and more kept me glued through all 13 stories of Moonlight Baby from Page 1 to Page 94. And I even enjoyed the pieces of art thrown into the mix.
Read it.

P.S. Don't pick up this book with the plan to read a few pages and then turn off your bedside lamp.  You will get so absorbed, you will lose track of time and wake up completely sleep-deprived the next morning.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Memorable Moments of Motherhood - What's Yours?


I will get the ball rolling with one of my memorable moments of motherhood...
When Tanita was a toddler, one of the first words she learned was “Mine.”
If any other child came near one of her toys, or possessions, she would say “Mine.”
She said it a lot - at the daycare, at the library, when we were visiting friends who had young children.
One day, when we were in bed, getting ready for me to tell her a bedtime story, I hugged her and said, “Mine.”
She gave a wide and delighted smile. She knew exactly what I meant.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I am privileged to know and too, all the mothers, I will be privileged to know in the future.

Indu-bee's Memorable Moment of Motherhood with Kanishkaa next...

My Moment: I gave his sister's Barbie Doll to my son Kanishkaa ( he was 2 then, car obsessed) to distract him, saying enough of cars cars cars. 10 minutes later I could hear that he was back to playing with his cars again, judging by the car-sounds he was making. I peeped from the kitchen-- to see that he was on the ground, pushing Barbie along, making those 'vroooom' car sounds!! Unstereotyping was an epic fail.😂😂


Rad's Memorable Moment of Motherhood with Nikhil next...


When he was 8 or 9 Nikhil made me a Valentine which read:”Mom you are my bigest love’ with the mandatory mom and son stick figures festooned with hearts.! Needless to say I treasured it for years. When he was 16 I brought this card out thinking we could share an ‘awww!’ moment. Red faced he snatched it from my hand and ripped it to bits. Sigh! Motherhood aint no Hallmark card! Just saying.😂😂

Brenda's Memorable Moment of Motherhood with Alissa next...

I was on the phone one day when Alissa Nicole was about 8 years old. She had been taught that when I am on the phone, she wasn't supposed to interrupt my conversation unless it was really important.
She also knew my conversations could run quite long. So I am chatting with my friend and the call waiting signal beeps on the house phone. The phone was a corded type with no caller ID feature, so after a few beeps I told my friend " hold on, someone is on the other line" I click over to answer it and I say "Hello?" and a tiny voice on the other end says "Mom?"
I said "Alissa?"
I look up and see Alissa standing in her father's office. She was calling from his desk phone.
I asked her "Why did you call me on your Dad's phone?"
She said
"Because I wanted a snack, but you said not to come in the kitchen and interrupt your conversation."
At that moment,
I had to laugh and then I thought to myself Damn this kid is pretty clever😂😂

Brenda's Memorable Moment of Motherhood with Kristiara to cap this series...

I will share a story about Kristiara as well. One day my brother was over our house and he wanted to tease Kristiara so he told her that her Daddy was rich. She ignored him and continued playing with her toys. Then he told her "your daddy is rich, your daddy is Mr. Moneybags". Kristiara stood up, turned to him, made an angry face and in her meanest 4 year old voice told him "My Daddy is not Mr. Monkey Bags!" We laughed pretty hard and from then on whenever we referred to Ernie and money, we always called him Mr. Monkey Bags🙈🙊🙉😂😂

P.S. Would love to add your memorable moments of motherhood to this list.  Send me your memorable moment of motherhood, and I will add it. Memorable moment of fatherhood as well.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

What’s the most embarrassing thing your boss made you do?

In my very first copywriting job, my boss would have us go to the airport and request a passenger to carry a package of printed material to another city.
It was harrowing.
Once I went from passenger to passenger and they kept saying no.
I approached a group of people who were standing together and started off my spiel….I am from so and so company and we have an urgent need to get this printed material to Delhi this evening itself.”
He looked at me and said, “I am not the passenger. He is” and he nodded in the direction of a foreigner (the only white male in the group).
So I started off my spiel again and he put up his hand, and said “Sorry….there may be a bomb in it” and everyone in the group laughed at his joke.
I started to tell him I could open the package, but he shook his head.
My eyes filled with tears, I turned away.
A traveler who had observed what had happened looked at me.
I walked towards him.
Before I could say anything, he said, “I will take it”.
I gave it to him, ran out of the airport and cried the whole way back in the car.
P.S. This is Post 2 in the Boss series. The first was What's The Nicest Thing A Boss Has Ever Done For You?