What is the most unexpected clarity breakthrough I've ever had, and how did it change my understanding of human potential?

Clarity breakthroughs are seeing what you didn't see before.

I've had several...

This one — clarity about kindness vs generosity…

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

Are you the most generous person you know?

Hi, You asked, Are you the most generous person you know? I have been complimented on my generosity by a few people. But I am certainly not the most generous. There is no way to know who is the most generous. Because the most generous may do what they do, quietly and anonymously. Between generosity and kindness, kindness is more important. I didn’t get that when I was younger. As a young adult, I was generous, but I was not kind. This story is a classic example of how I was generous and not kind… The Gold Chain When I got married, I moved into the home where my husband lived with his brother and his dad. Working for them was Pushpa, their maid, who had been with the family for a long time. I knew Pushpa from before I got married, because she had been doing part time housecleaning and cooking for me at my bachelorette pad. Like all maids in India at the time, Pushpa was poor and lived a hard-scrabble life. Her home was a thatched hut in a slum, and everything - from food to clothes to medicines, to keeping her hut from collapsing when it rained - was a challenge. Pushpa's pay wasn't sufficient for all her expenses, so she would ask my father-in-law for additional money during the month. When my husband came home from work, my father in law would say to him, "Pushpa needs x rupees for medicine. Can you give me that to give to her." I felt sorry for Pushpa and decided to reach out to her secretly. When she and I were alone, I said to her, "Pushpa, I would like to give you some additional money on the side, so you don't have to ask Sir (my father in law) for money every other week. This can be just between you and me – Sir or Rakesh or Shreekant needn’t know about it.Can you tell me an amount that would be helpful for you to get." Now Pushpa was not a greedy soul, and she didn't know what amount to propose. She shyly replied, "I don't know Ma". So I made the decision for both of us. I said, "I'll tell you what. You are getting 2000 rupees every month from Sir. How about I give you another 2000 rupees? Here, take this." And with that, I gave Pushpa 2000 rupees, effectively doubling her pay. (I was earning a good income and I can assure you this was not financially difficult for me at all, so please don't think I was anyone great for doing this.) A month went by. One day, my husband and me arrived home from work together. As we entered the door, my father in law said, "Ah, Shreekant…..can you give me 400 rupees to give to Pushpa for medicine." I felt a flash of anger. I had expected that once Pushpa started getting the extra 2000 rupees from me, she would stop asking my father-in-law for money during the month. “How dare she ask for this money after I have doubled her pay!” I thought to myself. Of course I couldn't talk to anyone about this, since I was giving her the money in secret. At the first opportunity I could get her alone, I confronted her about it, "Why are you still asking Sir for extra money? I doubled your pay. You should not be needing to ask for 300 rupees here, 300 rupees there anymore." She looked embarrassed and never replied. I felt a great need to solve the situation once in for all, thinking mightily of my powers to do so. "Ok, I will tell you what, Pushpa," I said, "I will give you 3000 rupees instead of 2000 rupees every month secretly from my own pocket. This should cover you for anything and everything that comes up during the month. Agreed?" She nodded her head and I handed her an additional 1000 rupees which she gratefully accepted. A month went by. And, oh no. Yes, you guessed right. I hear my father in law say to my husband, "Ah, Shreekant…..give me 400 rupees to give to Pushpa. She needs to buy something for her family." It was like waving a red flag to a bull. I had expected that the extra 3000 rupees would have put a full stop to this. I could not understand what was going on. Things were not going as planned. Though Pushpa was getting two and a half times her pay, nothing had changed. She was still asking for extra money, as if the extra 3000 rupees did not exist. I couldn't wait for her to come in to work the next day to tackle her. As soon as she got in, and I got her alone, I demanded an answer. "Pushpa, your pay is two and a half times what it used to be. Whatever are you spending the extra money on? " I was taken aback when she sheepishly pointed to a thin gold chain round her neck. She explained..... Apparently she had always wanted a gold chain, but could never afford to buy one. When I started giving her the extra 3000 every month, she was able to enroll in a chit fund and take out a loan to buy a gold chain. Now she was using the money I was giving her every month to pay the loan off. All the extra money was going to pay off the debt she had incurred to buy the gold chain, and none of it to improve her everyday life. Which was why she still had to ask for 300 rupees here and 300 rupees there. I was horribly upset. There was nothing I could do and my hands were tied. I had expected to improve Pushpa's lot in life, but she was at square one, struggling to keep body and soul together, except she now had a gold chain she was really happy and proud to possess which I had made possible. Because of my expectations, it took me several years to come to terms with this. Over the next year, I gradually grew into an expectations monster, and a tyrant with Pushpa, nagging her about everything. Eventually Pushpa left the job because of my nagging and demands. Starting out as a kind, generous person to her, I turned into a monster. And I didn’t realize it. It was many years later when remorse struck and I regretted my past behavior. I had been inexcusably harsh. Pushpa was such a good soul, and didn’t deserve my harshness. Today, I understand that kindness is superior to generosity, and expectancy is superior to expectations. My kinder attitude has brought perspective as well, and I think about Pushpa’s gold chain purchase differently. It is human to have needs beyond food, clothing and shelter. Even someone in tough circumstances may prefer the beauty and pride of a gold chain to a marginal improvement in comfort. How I wish I had realized that kindness was more important than generosity earlier in life.

This one - clarity about quality of life vs quantity of life…

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What are the main criteria used in determining an individual's "quality" of life today?

Hi, You asked, What are the main criteria used in determining an individual's "quality" of life today? I have written about this on my blog before. People miss the boat when they think of it only in terms of material goods and money. Also “quality of life” is personal. Here’s an adapted version of what I wrote about Quality of Life on my blog… Recently I was thinking about my Uncle Al. He passed away in Feb of 2015. I wrote this tribute to him after he died. The tribute I wrote, tells you Uncle Al was filled with vigor, had an active lifestyle, and was sharp as a tack. He was health conscious, scrupulous about taking his medicines, seeing the doctor, and eating right. He walked miles every day, and even bicycled in his seventies, having given up his car soon after retirement. He played table tennis and pinochle, he played word games and card games, and he played sudoku. He lived independently, and took care of himself. He died at the age of 83, when he was still in excellent health. I thought about other people, who had not been as active as Uncle Al, nor in such good health as him, who had lived almost the same number of years as Uncle Al. Uncle Al's healthy living, and good physical and mental habits, had got him only a few extra years. And then suddenly I halted this negative chain of thought. And a light bulb went over my head. I was completely missing the point. What my Uncle Al had, through all those 83 years, was a terrific quality of life. I realized, it doesn't matter how long a life we live, or how short a life we live. What is important is the quality of life we enjoy. We should do what we can, to improve our quality of life. To do that, we have to recognize we are all different, and the challenges we face will be different. Someone who is pre-diabetic or diabetic, for instance, should strive to lower their insulin resistance, and improve their insulin sensitivity, by any means possible. We owe it to ourselves, to find out what options are available, and the ways in which we can help ourselves. It may mean we have to give up existing habits, and develop new habits. This may be tough to do. But the longer we do something, the easier it will become, and the more comfortably we will be able to do it. When I started Intermittent Fasting, it was hard. My body was not used to it. And my mind was not used to the idea. I had never fasted my entire life, I had never skipped breakfast my entire life. The thought of it sounded crazy. I am sure to collapse, I thought. But I gave it a try. I kept at it. Now I am able to do it with more ease. Are you interested in improving your quality of life? Examine your current health, and your current habits. Go on the internet, and study what you can do, about each aspect of your health or habits that you need to address. Then start applying some of the solutions. Go for the free and economical solutions first. That's the great part about Intermittent Fasting. I don't have to spend any money. I just have to "not eat". But Minoo if you don't eat, will you get enough micronutrients? Yes, that is a very important question. You are right to ask. Which is why, you need to research all the implications of any solution, before you try it. My research led me understand, it would be beneficial to supplement with Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, folate, and B6, and to make sure I was getting enough Omega 3 fats. And I am doing that. If we want a better quality of life, we have to do our homework. There was a time when I was addicted to Jim Cramer's Mad Money show. He used to keep repeating, "you need to do your homework on the stocks in your portfolio. Homework is not just for people who are in school. Homework is important to our investments. Homework is important to all our major life decisions. Homework is also important to our health and habits. I keep saying “health and habits”, because habits are often just as critical to our health. In fact our health is often an outcome of our habits. So in order to improve our health, we have to improve our habits. After doing our homework on our health and habits, we will have to make some hard decisions. We may have to do things differently, eat differently, spend our time differently. We may have to devote our energy to something which was not on our radar previously. Most importantly, we have to give up whatever is an obstacle to our quality of life. In the food habits area, this may mean different things, depending on our health profile. A pre-diabetic, or diabetic, will have to reduce their carbs, for instance. What about the non-health area? It all depends on what quality of life means to us. For instance, if quality of life to us means good relationships, we may have to give up being opinionated, being hard on other people's weaknesses, demanding things of other people, and getting into a bad mood when things go wrong. People with good relationships are usually easy-going, have high tolerance levels, do not criticize, do not fly off the handle, and do not pass their trips on to other people. We are going to need to work on each of the areas in which we are deficient. Just like nutritional deficiencies, we all have mental deficiencies. We have to work on these mental deficiencies, if we are to have a good quality of life. I have enjoyed a much better quality of life, after I became a low maintenance person, after I learned to meditate, and after I became a more relaxed Mom. There are creative ways to deal with challenges and disappointments, using our imagination. We have to put our losses behind us. We have to develop a philosophy of dealing with losses, so we know how to deal with losses, whatever the future brings. Losses and gains are a part of life. We cannot remain bitter about our losses and thrive. We have to move on, no matter how large or devastating the loss. People have lost the use of their limbs without losing their sense of humor. Now that's what I call quality of life. If you are easily offended, you will enjoy a lower quality of life. If you are sensitive, you will enjoy a lower quality of life. If you have a lot of expectations, you will enjoy a lower quality of life. If you dwell on the past, you will enjoy a lower quality of life. So don't just work on your physical health, work on your habits, and habits of mind. Quality of life involves all aspects of our functioning - our physical functioning, our mental functioning, our emotional functioning, and our social functioning. We neglect any area at our own peril. We shouldn't focus on our health to the exclusion of everything else, and we shouldn't focus on our social functioning to the exclusion of our health. Some of the nicest people I know are very careless about their health. As a result of which, there are a lot of self-perpetuated events centered on their health. This undermines their ability to enjoy life, as much as they would, if they took better care of themselves. Since their self-perpetuated health events usually cause anxiety and inconvenience for others, sooner or later, people in their lives will drop off - from being unable to handle these self-perpetuated health events. So there's one reason to look after yourself. No one but you can take care of yourself. And if you take care of yourself, and you tend your relationships like you would an orchid, you will attract people, like nectar to bees. I will end with these 2 quotes from David Agus and Zig Ziglar: David Agus: I believe we can prevent or delay most disease until the 9th or 10th decade. The goal is to prevent anything that can affect your quality of life prior to those years! By the time many of us get to the 9th or 10th decade, who knows where the new medical and science will take us? I am an optimist! Zig Ziglar: Fact: If standard of living is your number one objective, quality of life almost never improves. But if quality of life is your number one objective, standard of living invariably improves. Take your pick.

This one - about the importance of personal vs generic goals…

Minoo Jha

 · 4y

If you know several successful people, what is something that they all have in common?

They all understand that success is personal… All of us are unique. One size doesn't fit all. Not only do we have different geographical backgrounds, we come from different families and cultures. Our genetic and environmental make up is different. What each one of us was exposed to as children, was different. We have had different kinds of schooling. We've been raised in different kinds of families and homes. We've been part of different communities and cultures. Because we spent our childhoods doing different things, and facing different circumstances, we grew up learning different lessons. We grew up absorbing different values. Naturally, the options we think we have are different. The things we are willing to do are different. The things we are able to do are different. We have different fears and concerns. We have different interests and drives. We have different goals and priorities. Quite naturally, the challenges we feel we are up to taking on, will also be different. For all these reasons, it's important for each of us to develop a personal definition of success. This definition should be valid for you, and you alone. I had a rough childhood, where I rarely got a good night's sleep, because my dad had a drinking problem and would be up all night creating scenes. So part of my definition of success is a good night's sleep. Your unique background, your unique education, your unique experiences and experiments, your unique circumstances, and of course your unique dreams and talents, should all figure in crafting your definition of success. Is it that you were the only one to blaze a trail in your family? Is it that you got through your teenage and early adult years without messing up your life? Is it that you have been able to go with the flow, and make a living taking on different challenges? Is it that whatever you touch, you have always made your investment of time, money, and energy pay off? Is it that you have been able to achieve some things that are important to you, such as work flexibility, or work-life balance, or good health? Is it that you have been able to live simply? Is it that you have been able to go from strength to strength in your field? Is it that you have never let a disabling illness or condition stop you from doing the things you want to do? Is it that you have reinvented yourself through different jobs? Is it that, no matter the life blows, you have never lost your faith in God or humankind, or yourself? Is it that you have made some tough sacrifices you never thought you would make? It is that you are a good friend, a good parent, a good child, or a good brother or sister? Is it that you have never let failures and setbacks keep you down? Is it that you have been steadily able to command more and more respect as a person? Success to you may be succeeding in a field where you are a minority. Success to you may be knowing you have conquered some fears or weaknesses to become a better, or stronger person. Success to you may be dealing with a tough situation, without going to pieces, or losing your compassion. You don't have to let other people's definitions of success determine your life. You know who you are. You know what you have been able to do. Most important of all, you know what still remains to be done. Here’s someone who has his own unique definition of success:

This one - realizing that some things are priceless, and do not have a price…

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What are some one and done mistakes in your profession?

Hi Sean, You asked, What are some one and done mistakes in your profession? My one and done mistake was taking a manager level job which, though it came with more money and prestige, 1) did not offer me any flexibility in terms of working from home, and 2) had a terrible commute. It was 32 miles away from where I lived, and made it hard for me to cope with an ailing mother and a young child. I learned my lesson and left that job in a year, happily taking a step down to bring balance back into my life. Here’s the full story: Prior to applying and being accepted for this job, I had a conversation with my friend Julia about it. This is how the exchange of words went: We were sitting outside a karate school waiting for our daughters to get done with karate class. “Minoo, let’s get some tea, she said to me. I remember always being fascinated with Julia’s Goldilocks maneuver with tea. If it was too cold, she would add a few drops of warm water to it. If it was too hot, she would put an ice tube or two in it. Anyway, sipping from my Goldilocked tea, I said to her ‘Hey, Julia, I am thinking of leaving Palm. There’s an opening at a Johnson and Johnson company in Fremont for a Commissions Manager and I am tempted to apply, because it will mean a step up and more money.” I continued “But here’s the thing - I’ll have to drive 32 miles each way and I won’t be able to work from home anymore like I now do 3–4 times a week currently at Palm. If the new company compensates me for the loss of the telecommuting benefits, plus the extra long time it will take me to get to work, then it might be worth it. But what is that compensation amount? I am having a hard time figuring that out. What do you think? What dollar value should I put on not being able to work from home and be there for my child and my Mum?” I threw out a number at her. Julia’s reply was instant: “Minoo, you can’t put a dollar value on being at home for your mother and your child - it’s ‘priceless’.” I was to remember her words many times in the following year when I was at that higher paying job… so far away from home…so worried about my mother and my daughter… trapped and profoundly unhappy. I realized Julia had been right. Working from home and being able to be with my mother and daughter was indeed ‘priceless’. Neither the money nor the prestige of my Manager title was able to compensate for it.” It was a hollow victory to beat all hollow victories. Needless to say, I didn’t stay at that company for long. And pursuing money and status in jobs became a one and done thing for me.

This one - about positive and negative often being two sides of the same coin…

Minoo Jha

 · 4y

What is the most precious thing in this world?

Yes. Here’s what I wrote for Earth Day 2021 - April 22, 2021 - I Need The Breeze I need the breeze Even though it makes me sneeze Achoo Achoo Achoo 〰 I need the sun Even though I sometimes feel like a toast well done Crackle Crackle Crackle 〰 I need the trees Even if I have to walk on wet leaves Scrunch Scrunch Scrunch 〰 I need the air Even though it buzzes with insects that dare Buzz Buzz Buzz 〰 I need the night Even though the darkness is a fright Ttu-whit tu-whoo Tu-whit tu-whoo! Boo 〰 I need the showers Even though my shoes get squishy, and I am splashed on by cars Squish Squish Squish. Splash Splash Splash 〰 I need the sky Even though the thunder and lightning make me want to run and hide Boom Crash. Boom Crash. Boom Crash 〰 I need the dirt roads Even if I have to say hello to lizards and leeches and toads Creep Creep. Crawl Crawl. Croak Croak 〰 I need the hills Even though they sometimes make me huff and puff till I am ill Huff and Puff. Huff and Puff. Huff and Puff 〰 I need the sand Even though it’s hard to walk on it, and sometimes even to stand Pludunk Pludunk Pludunk. Pant Pant Pant 〰 I need the ocean Even though the waves make such a commotion Crash Bang. Crash Bang. Crash Bang 〰 I need the earth and all its creatures Even though some of them have scary features Slither Slither Slither. Snarl Snarl. Hiss. Roar 〰 Yes, I need all of it And if any of those things were not there My life wouldn't be the same So I’d have to get on a rocket and find another planet somewhere 〰 Where I could find the very same things! 〰 So I make a heart with my fingers To love it all through and through But oh no, there’s that breeze again Achoo Achoo Achoo!

This one - on the value of humility…

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

If you're asked, “why do you deserve to get this job/position”, how do you explain it?

Hi, You asked, If you're asked, “why do you deserve to get this job/position”, how do you explain it? Your answer to that question should be as follows: “Nobody deserves this position. You should give the position to the best qualified candidate. You should give the position to the one best suited to your current and future needs. If that’s me, that’s great. If that’s someone else, that’s great too. I believe in the principle “May the best person win.” Having said that, I am very hopeful it’s me. If it’s not me, I would be grateful if you can share with me anything that might help me with my future search.”

This one - on our dreams vs our children’s dreams…

Minoo Jha

 · 3y

Is it possible to live somebody else's life?

Not only is it not possible, it is not right. It is not right to expect your children to live your lives, rather than their own. I wrote this to drive home the point… Let Your Dreams Be Your Dreams Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to be a doctor or engineer It's what equals respect and status in your eyes Your child wants to be a teacher, writer, firefighter, or something else It's what equals meaning and fulfillment in your child's eyes __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to fit in with their clothing style You fear people will look at them and sneer and hide a giggle They want to express a unique style For which they are willing to pay any price, even that of being a social misfit __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to share your religious and political beliefs They are growing, and as part of their growth, they are forming a different worldview from you One they hope not to have to hide from you, for fear of rejection or disappointment __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to look at music and art as hobbies They want to give those things a bigger place in their life They value it enough to live on the financial edge __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to fit standard social norms Ones that have existed from the beginning of social time They want a life outside of those norms Hoping to be accepted and embraced by you, rather than cast aside __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to marry and have children They want to be single and follow their own path They want you to understand, not fuss __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to buy a house Wealth is measured in assets - this is what you think They want to live in a trailer and travel Wealth is measured in experiences - this is what they think __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky

And one final one, to wrap up this answer, is it ever too late or too early, for some things…?

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What is it too late for at the age of 20?

Hi, You asked, At the age of (almost) 23, what is too late for me? We go through life making assumptions. One of the assumptions we make is that it’s too early or too late to do something. Which is why you have asked the question you have asked. It is never too late (or too early either) to do anything. Let me give you some examples. Is it ever too early or too late to make amends? Is it ever too early or too late to say hello to someone we have not been in touch with? Is it ever too early or too late to try something new? If we sit and think, it is never too early or too late to do most things. It is never too early or too late to explore a new avenue. It’s never too early or too late to celebrate a milestone. The milestone that is coming up in your life is your 24th birthday. How can you celebrate it? You are unique. You have a unique story (or stories) shaped by your unique background and your unique experiences and your unique personality and your unique interests. Celebrate that uniqueness. Speaking of joy, it’s never too early or too late to learn to laugh at life. The more you are able to laugh at life, and especially at your own failures, foibles and mistakes, the more psychological health you will enjoy. It’s never too early or too late to start seeing all problems as puzzles and become a master solver. For that, you have to be a lifelong learner. You must be willing to learn to do new things and to learn about new things. It is never too early or too late to learn something new about the world in which we live and expand your toolkit for dealing with it. The value of learning something new doesn’t have to be measured by its impact on the quality of our physical lives. Our intellectual horizons, our social horizons, our psychological horizons and our spiritual horizons expand when we learn something new. And that is just as important. The fact is we are intellectual beings, we are physical beings, we are emotional beings, we are spiritual beings, we are all of those things. Soon after I started my blog, I started getting a regular visitor to my blog from Estonia. I had never heard of Estonia (shame on you Minoo), but when I saw this reader from Estonia visit my blog week after week, I became curious about Estonia. So I googled Estonia, and discovered a whole lot of fascinating facts about the country. One of the facts I discovered about Estonia was about the Singing Revolution. One day I will write a post about The Singing Revolution of Estonia and publish it on my blog, because it is just as fascinating as Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violence movement. But back to you. No, there is nothing that is “too late” for you to do. Nothing!

Moments of clarity end our confusion.

They illuminate our path.

We make fewer mistakes, once are eyes our opened.

We may have done many things in the past, without thinking.

When we have a moment of clarity about what was wrong about what we did, it is likely we wont make the same mistake again.

Without that moment of clarity, about what is priceless, I would have kept chasing the wrong things, and trying to put a price on what is priceless.

I would have kept applying to the wrong jobs, and choosing money and professional status, over time with my family, and I would have felt more and more stressed and miserable.

‘Stressed and miserable’ is the opposite of human potential.

Every moment of clarity you experience, will release you from some form of stress, misery, grief, disappointment, etc.

Not just in your pursuit of education, career, possessions, and money, but also in the pursuit of harder to achieve things.

Such as achieving peace.

Such as achieving wisdom.

Such as achieving serenity - to accept the things you cannot change, and change the things you can.

These are human potentials too.

Peace and serenity and wisdom are not given to us.

In fact, we can have a successful education, a successful career, possessions, and money, and all the externals of a successful life, but still have no peace or serenity.

But we have the potential to achieve those things too.

Whether it’s grappling with a family member’s behavior or choices.

Whether it’s dealing with big and small frictions, in our lives.

Whether it’s dealing with unexpected issues and challenges, which come out of nowhere.

Or whether it’s dealing with the hardest disappointments, losses, tragedies, and griefs in our lives.

If we don’t make peace and wisdom and serenity our goals, we will risk becoming shadows of who we are.

We will fail to engage with life, as we are meant to, unable to move on from devastating events in our lives.

Peace and serenity and wisdom can be achieved only by making it a goal.

Some people do it through therapy.

Some people do it through meditation, and becoming more self-reflective.

Minoo Jha

 · 3y

Why do some people have a hard time with self-reflection?

Because you will find out that you are not as smart as you think you are, as nice as you think you are, as ethical as you think you are, as honest as you think you are, I could go on and on…. In this piece I wrote, I share my own humbling discoveries about myself - I Thought I Was A Flower I thought I was a flower. Silly me. In so many respects, I am still a bud. And have growing to do. In spite of the sunlight. In spite of the soil. In spite of the water. In spite of the many years I have been on the stalk. I am still a bud. In this respect and that respect. In so many respects. I am still a bud. And I still have growing to do. __ That being the case… Be patient with me. Be patient with me. __ I thought I was a tree. Silly me. I now see. I am just a branch. Of a very big tree. Called humanity. It will take some time. To shake off the idea. That I am not the tree. I have to chip away at the bark. That kept me in the dark. That kept me from seeing all this time. That I am just a part. Of this very big tree. Called humanity. __ Which is why, I ask... Be patient with me. Be patient with me. __ I thought I was the ocean. Silly me. I found out I am just a drop. Among drops and drops and drops. In a vast expanse. That's as wide as it is deep. Beyond what my naked eye can see. When I think about that. I pause. And lift up my hands. And express awe. And then some more. At this amazing vastness I was not aware I was a part of. Isn't it amazing, to think. This little drop that's me. Is part of drops and drops and drops. So vast, it's more than my naked eye can see. And to think I have been living in a bubble that was so tiny. I am glad my eyes have opened. But I have to get used to this. __ So please… Be patient with me. Be patient with me.

Some people work hard on their will-power.

Intelligence and knowledge can only take us so far. 

We have to work on our will-power to engage with life, devastated as we are.

If engaging in life is to mean more than becoming an anonymous social media troll, we will have to work on ourselves, to become connected people, making sure being high-maintenance doesn't get in the way.

Minoo Jha

 · 1y

What is a "low maintenance person"?

Hi, You asked, What is a "low maintenance person"? Quick summary of a low maintenance person: * Does not have “my way or the highway issues” * Is not suspicious of everyone’s intentions * Understands different people have different priorities * Goes with the flow * Is patient and tolerant * Is not easily angered

We can also achieve peace and serenity by finding purpose.

And finally, we can achieve peace and serenity, by finding God.

Whatever the way we choose (or the way that chooses us), we will begin to unwrap the gifts of peace and serenity and wisdom, at our own pace, and in our own time.

Do we create our own purpose, or is it something we discover?

Either can be true.

Creating your own purpose.

Or discovering your own purpose.

Or rediscovering your purpose, at some time in your life.

Sometimes you create something, and realize the purpose as you go along.

Minoo Jha

 · 3y

What is your one talent that you use to help others in life?

Writing. I use my ability to write to do the following; * Inspire * Stop people in their tracks and make them think * Encourage * Comfort * Entertain * Share my victories and defeats * Give solace * Express my admiration My most recent blog piece was written to express my admiration to those who have been able to transcend the ups and downs of life… If You Take A Ride Down Memory Lane If you take a ride down memory lane This is what you will see That your life was full of surprises Many you couldn't foresee. __ You never thought the road would lead you To where you are today You never thought there would be so many twists and turns Which would require you to continuously adapt your choices, your lifestyle, your beliefs, and your ways. __ You never thought there would be some storms That would give you your purpose and your mission You never thought you would become so strong and determined And develop such a unique and steadfast vision. __ You never dreamed you had it in you To do some of the things you have through the years You never dreamed so many ideas and answers would emerge On the back of so many tears. __ You never thought you would come to terms With all the potholes and detours that sent you reeling You never dreamed you would find a silver lining in the darkest clouds And find a way to get past some of the most overwhelming feelings. __ You never thought you would get past your heartbreaks And find a way to turn your sorrows into smiles You never thought you would put your deepest heartaches behind you And find a way to re-engage, reconnect, and thrive. __ Yes, yours is a hero's journey, dear sweet reader One in which from the threads of pain and confusion, you've created a life of joy, meaning, and sense You deserve a standing ovation and thunderous applause for this no small, no easy achievement And your example is nothing short of inspiring, awesome, and immense. __ Take a bow. Take a bow. You deserve it. You deserve it.

Sometimes, life’s traumas can lead you to your purpose.

Minoo Jha

 · 1y

I have a setback in life and I want to make a comeback. what should I do?

Story 1 - Setback into Comeback Once upon a time there was a little boy. When he was 3 years old, his dad was plastering a wall at his house. Innocently - and not knowing what he was doing, the boy poked a finger into the damp plaster. His dad saw him do it from across the room and got mad. In a rage, his dad threw a roof shingle across the room at him. The roof shingle pierced the boy’s head and lodged in his skull. He had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency surgery. The boy grew up with the memory of this terrible incident, as well as other incidents caused by his father’s rages. Growing up, he was a constant witness to, and a victim of his father’s abuse of himself and his mother. He observed how his mother handled his father's rages with compassion. When he became an adult, the boy chose to pursue psychology. He has interested in anger, and the underlying causes for violent expressions of anger. His studies and research pointed to low self-esteem being the cause of anger. People who were angry harbored severe feelings of shame and guilt - coupled with a lack of empathy for other people’s feelings. He understood low self esteem was at the heart of many violent crimes. He decided to dedicate his life to helping people successfully deal with, and overcome their anger issues. His successes include some of the most hardened criminals in the justice system. His name is Steven Stosny, or more formally, Dr. Steven Stosny. He is a living example of how to turn a setback into a comeback. If someone does something to us, we should never think we have only 2 choices, one of which is to run away and seek refuge in something, the other to strike back. Fight or flight are not are only answers. What Dr. Stosny teaches us (and his clients) is that there is a third way, which is developing compassion for ourselves, and for all those who make us suffer, or have made us suffer. Story 2: Setback Into Comeback In 1918, when the US entered World War 1, a man enlisted in the US army as a private. He was 38 years old and had already amassed a fortune of $75,000. Concerned that he may not come back from the war, he gave his savings to his best friend for safe-keeping. The war took many lives, but mercifully, his life was spared, and when he was released from duty, which was 14 months later, he was ready to begin his old life again. One of the first things he did, on his release, was to visit his friend to get his money. Bad news was waiting for him at his friend’s house. His friend had committed suicide, and left his wife a widow. His friend's widow told him, his friend had put both his own money, and the money they had, in a worthless investment, and lost it all. The shame and grief over the loss had been too much for his friend, and he took his own life. What do you think the ex-Army Private did? He accepted the blame for putting “that much temptation” in his friend’s way, and made monthly contributions to the man’s widow, for the next 30 years. The man’s name was Grantland Rice. He was the most famous sportswriter of his time. Even if you don't know his name, you will definitely know these words which he penned – “For when the One Great Scorer comes To mark against your name, He writes - not that you won or lost - But HOW you played the Game.” There’s another way to turn a setback into a comeback. Story 3 - Setback into Comeback In 1990, a 22 year old student of Kenyon College, Ohio, was riding in a car - when she got an attack of nausea. The nausea continued over days and weeks and months, and was soon accompanied by severe aches and pains - from head to toe, incapacitating her. After months of going to doctors, they would eventually diagnose her condition as chronic fatigue syndrome. She dropped out of college, and from then on, her life became that of a house-bound invalid. In such a condition, many would throw up their hands, and say, “I am an invalid; that’s all my life is good for”. But the girl did not do that. She picked a subject that interested her - and started writing a book. Unable to leave the house, she did all her research at home – either by going online, or via the phone. She turned out a best-seller. Her book was on the New York Times Non-Fiction Best-Seller list for 30 weeks, and was made into a hit movie in 2003. Still home-bound, she started to work on a new book soon after. Her second book was also a hit, # 1 on the New York Times Non-Fiction Best-Seller List for 52 weeks. It was picked up by Angelina Jolie, and made into a film. The girl’s name is Laura Hillenbrand, and the books are Sea Biscuit and Unbroken, movies of which you may have seen. 3 inspiring examples of people who turned setbacks into comebacks. What’s yours?

You can also stumble upon your purpose accidentally.

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What is your most interesting meditation experience?

Hi, You asked, What is your most interesting meditation experience? After I stared meditating, I have had a few telepathic experiences. One of them was waking up in the middle of the night with a story about 3 Benches. I do not normally write fiction pieces on my blog, so it was very unusual for me to wake up in the middle of the night with the idea of this 3 Benches Story. The next day I called my friend in Klamath and I asked her, “Hey Nadya, whatcha been up to?” like I usually do. I got goosebumps when she said, “Oh, I am building a bench for my backyard.” I felt the only explanation for the mysterious appearance of the 3 Benches idea in my mind was because of a telepathic experience with Nadya. By now I must have aroused your curiosity about what this 3 Benches story is all about. It took another 6 years for me to actually get down to being able to write it and publish it on my blog. Here it is. I hope you enjoy reading it. Everyone Has Their Purpose Everyone has their purpose. I just hadn’t discovered mine. We were 3 benches in a park. Bench 1 clearly knew its purpose. It was to enjoy the rich conversations and the books of the people who sat on Bench 1. Bench 1 was into mind-expanding things. Bench 1 was always going on and on about philosophy and epistemology and such, things which, if they didn’t entirely go over my head, only somewhat interested me. I am curious and I have a love for words. These two personality traits made me listen to whatever Bench 1 said. Bench 2 was clearly status-seeking, a name-dropper. Bench 2 lived for the stylish, well-heeled, and well-known people that sat on Bench 2. Bench 2 would tell you that Bench 2 occupants that day included people who wore Manolo Blahnik Hangisi shoes, or toted the most expensive Louis Vuitton bags, or drove up in a Tesla Model X P100 D. As for me, neither status, nor mind expanding ideas, excited me, or held the key to my soul. I registered everything Bench 1 and Bench 2 said. I was curious enough for that. Bench 1 and Bench 2 knew they had a perfect listener in me. So they shared everything and anything that excited them, or troubled them, with me. And I would listen. But truthfully, I was interested in an "interesting what other benches find interesting" way. I knew, there had to be something more. One day, an older woman sat on my bench and said the rosary. As she sat there, moving from bead to bead, and repeating the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be, I caught a glimpse of what my purpose was. Another day, two young men sat on my bench. One of the young men had the book Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron in his hands. He explained to the other young man what meditating on loving-kindness meant. I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. Another day, I watched a man put a mat on the grass, put his hands up, then put his right hand over his left hand, then bend down and put his hands on his knees, then stand back up and bend down, placing his knees, hands and head on the floor, all the while reciting prayers. I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. One day, two Hindu studies major students sat on my bench. One of them read this passage from the Bhagavad Gita out aloud to the other: “The man who sees me in everything and everything within me will not be lost to me, nor will I ever be lost to him. He who is rooted in oneness realizes that I am in every being; wherever he goes, he remains in me. When he sees all being as equal in suffering or in joy because they are like himself, that man has grown perfect in yoga.” I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. Another day, two Jesuit priests chose me for their bench. They spoke of wondrous things, such as St. Augustine hearing a childlike voice telling him to “take up and read”. For days after, I kept thinking about that. And then one day, it happened. A man with a backpack and a stick entered the area where our 3 benches were located. He looked weary and he looked tired and he looked disheveled and he looked unkempt. I knew he was the kind of man Bench 1 and Bench 2 would be least interested in, even revolted by. He looked at all 3 of us benches, and then made his way to where I was, even though I was the furthest bench. He put his backpack down on one end of the bench. Then, using the backpack as a pillow for his head, he sprawled across the length of the bench, covered his face with a dirty shirt, and fell into a deep sleep, from which he awoke, hours later, after which he picked up his things and left. He came back the next day and did the same thing; and he came back the day after and did the same thing again. At the end of day 3, after he had woken up and left, Bench 1 said to me: “Tough luck 3, to have a homeless guy single you out and make a habit of it.” I didn’t say anything. Bench 2 added, “Better accept it, 3. You might be stuck with him at least till the weather changes!” I didn’t say anything. If only Bench 1 and Bench 2 knew…..at last, I had found my purpose. The End Note to Readers: The original idea for this story came to me in the form of a miraculous coincidence - which happened in October of 2012, almost 6 years ago. Though I had the idea for this story 6 years ago, I wasn’t able to put it into words. So it just lingered with me, all these years, until a few days ago. Here's how it happened. On the morning of April 27, 2018, while riding the bus to work and reading a book, suddenly these words came to my mind, “Everyone has their purpose”. My mind, next inexplicably, jumped to my unwritten 3 benches story. The next thing I knew, I was writing furiously. This story, that had been waiting to be told for 6 years, got told.

A crisis of purpose is a good thing - it can lead you to discover what you are meant to do.

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

Why do people seem to have a crisis of purpose these days?

Hi Greg, You asked, Why do people seem to have a crisis of purpose these days? Because they are looking in the wrong places. A sense of purpose cannot come from having a lot of money or owning a fancy car or house, or having a trophy wife or girlfriend. Our chosen field of work can give us a sense of purpose. Entrepreneurs are blessed in this regard. While for the rest of us, working is a social and economic necessity and a compulsion, entrepreneurs do what they really want to do – the income and status and other rewards, physical and psychological being merely byproducts of following their dream. This is why entrepreneurs are able to work harder than the rest of us. But anything can give us a sense of purpose - even something outside of our 8-5 hours. Working on bettering an area of our lives may give us a sense of purpose. Exploring something new may give us a sense of purpose. A desire to help someone or to create change may give us a sense of purpose. The more sense of purpose the activity has for us - the higher will be our energy, and the higher will be our motivation to find the time, ideas, money, and resources for it. People get surprised when I tell them my blog posts take about 8 hours to write on average. “My goodness! That’s a lot, Minoo. That’s like a whole day of work! How do you do it?” I am highly motivated, because blogging gives me a great sense of purpose. I feel renewed every time I write my blog. I feel I am doing something purposeful. When people comment on a post, this sense of purpose is heightened. Truthfully speaking, my blog is play to me. I am like a child on the beach with my bucket and spade, scooping up treasures from the sand – only the treasures I scoop are not pebbles and shells, but philosophical treasures – sudden insights, idea flashes, thoughts of different colors. Writing satisfies me so much, after writing a post, I feel a sense of fulfillment - like someone feels after a job well done, after completing a hard task, achieving a high game score, or achieving an important milestone in trying to kick a habit. Meditating and being an attentive listener also give me a sense of purpose. And I always have the energy to do that. A child on the beach builds sand castles. I build sand castles too. In my post, The Element of the First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, I came up with the suggestion of One Wall. One Wall is one of my sand castles. I know sand castles are blown away by air and water. (Water and air are powerful – the Grand Canyon was sculpted by water and air). But when you have a sense of purpose, it’s the journey that matters. “It’s the process, not the destination” as my nephew Vikram will say. My blog is about a becoming and an evolution. I evolve every week, and the blog evolves with me. As we evolve, our sense of purpose evolves. I have a friend I have known for a long time. In her 20's and 30's, she was famous for painting nudes. Her house had giant canvases of nudes wherever you looked. My friend’s sense of purpose at that time was related to expressing herself through writing, art, music and clothes. As she got older, my friend was drawn to spiritual, contemplative and service activities. This is where she found a sense of purpose. Now a practicing Buddhist, her daily rituals are dominated by putting herself at the service of the Buddhist nuns - she sweeps the temple floor, cleans the temple bathrooms, she prays, she meditates. You will never believe what she did with those treasured paintings of nudes. She used them all up as firewood.There was no place in her new life for them. We all know someone like my friend. People whose sense of purpose was materially or creatively oriented at one time, but is spiritually oriented now. The journey will be different for each of us. Some people will start out creative, artistic, but become more inward focused and service oriented as they get older. For others, the opposite will apply. Having spent their lives dealing with the practical realities of getting through school, working a job, getting married and providing for and raising a family, now as empty-nesters, free of responsibilities, they might be drawn to explore their creative, artistic and inventive sides. This is what gives them their sense of purpose now. Remember as our sense of purpose evolves, everything we touch and create will evolve. As we evolve in our thoughts about food, our cooking and eating will evolve. As we evolve in our thoughts about nature and the environment, our gardening and handling of natural resources will evolve. As we evolve in our mental and emotional habits, our interactions with people and handling of situations will evolve. In all the areas in which we have a sense of purpose, this will apply. The creation of the wonderful and marvelous Iphone reflects the sense of purpose and consciousness of its creator Steve Jobs. The story of India winning its independence from the British Raj reflects the sense of purpose of the peace-loving man who led it - Mahatma Gandhi. It is exciting when we have a sense of purpose. We may have to undertake a lot of different things. Find money for the purpose. Find time for the purpose – especially if we have responsibilities. Find physical, mental and emotional space for the purpose. Find the right strategy for the purpose - even giving up “my way or the highway” as needed. But all these are captivating chores, when we have a sense of purpose. Also, it doesn’t matter whether we live to see the purpose achieved. Elizabeth Cady Stanton never lived to see American women be able to vote, the cause she had dedicated her life to. President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated within 2 years of signing the Emancipation Proclamation. Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King lost their lives without seeing the full harvest of their work. But all these people were indefatigable to the very end. Their sense of purpose gave them unflagging energy. Each of us has to find our purpose. That unsung song. Those unread books. Those unwritten or unsaid words. That untilled soil. That road we’ve never taken. Fulfillment begins when we are able to say "YES THIS IS MY PURPOSE".

If you haven’t yet found your purpose yet, take heart.

Continue your search, until you find your purpose.

Or your purpose finds you.

Minoo Jha

 · 2y

What are you supposed to do in life?

There is a purpose and a plan for you There is a purpose and a plan for you And a purpose and a plan for me And when we reach a certain point in our lives, You and me will clearly see What that plan and purpose is For you, and for me. __ That plan and purpose may be To add to the music of the world To make people dance And smile And weep And be moved Set their emotions in a whirl This is what that plan and purpose may be To bring the magical and intense power of music into reality And when we reach a certain time in our life, It will be clear for us to see That music was the plan and purpose Music was the plan and purpose, for you, or for me. __ That plan and purpose could be To cook and to feed To put things on the table To use all the wonderful things that are sown And that are grown And that are waiting for the skillful touch of someone with a passion to put ingredients together in an artistic and satisfying way This is what the plan and purpose may be And when we reach a certain point of time in our life, This is when we'll see That the joys of cooking and serving up culinary delights Was what our plan and purpose was meant to be. __ That plan and purpose may be To create art With words and ideas, with paper and paint, with metal and stains, or performances with various names To use the color palette and materials, and ideas of the world To craft beautiful or exciting works of art With our imagination, and a touch of inspiration To bring to life something magical that has never be seen, experienced, heard This is what that plan and purpose may be And when we reach a certain point of time in our life, It will be clear for us to see That our life was meant for art And our art was meant to be. __ That plan and purpose may be To heal, save, or protect To help reduce the vulnerability Of the young, the weak, the helpless, the sick Or those who are in a position Where danger or suffering lurks, and where they are not supposed to be A plan which asks us to be selfless and brave Thinking of only one thing - how to protect, how to free, how to heal, how to save And how to fight for what is right. This is what that plan and purpose may be And when we reach a certain point in our life, Or when certain things happen, It will be clear for us to see That protecting, healing, and saving lives, and fighting for what is right, is our plan and purpose Protecting, healing, and saving lives, and fighting for what is right, is what our plan and purpose is meant to be. __ That plan and purpose may be To create solutions to problems, or to solve life's puzzles and mysteries The puzzles of illness, the puzzles of limitations The puzzle of problem personalities or system deficiencies To solve with test-tubes, or analysis With hypotheses, calculations, and deductions The problems of humanity That are keeping the world from moving forward This is what our plan and purpose may be And when we reach a certain time in our life, It will be clear for us to see That our life was meant to create solutions, or to solve life's puzzles and mysteries Finding answers and creating solutions is what our plan and purpose was meant to be. __ That plan and purpose may be To teach To open minds, open hearts, and open eyes To create aha moments and generate insights. To help human beings become better at processing information And able to think better about any situation That is what our plan and purpose may be To shine a light where there's ignorance, so people begin to see Everything there is to know about A, and how it is different from B. And when we reach a certain time in our life It will be clear for us to see That shining a light was the plan and purpose Teaching and enlightening human beings is what our plan and purpose was meant to be. __ Or our plan and purpose may be To live a life of quiet satisfaction, quiet dignity, and doing our duty And by our actions, to be a role model to relatives, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and everyone we meet Which may seem like nothing But really is everything When you consider it is the exception, rather than the rule, And maybe, we are not able to see that this is what our plan and purpose was meant to be Or to appreciate its value, Until we have done this or that, and it becomes clear for us to see That to live a life of quiet satisfaction, quiet dignity, and doing our duty, Is as grand a plan and purpose as ever a plan and purpose could be And we should each, celebrate this discovery That a life of quiet satisfaction, quiet dignity, and doing our duty, Is as grand a plan and purpose as ever a plan and purpose could be. __ Here's to your plan and purpose, And to my plan and purpose, Whatever that plan and purpose may be, And even if we are still in the process of discovering, What our plan and purpose is meant to be, Let's wish each other well for our journeys. Your journey and my journey, Our journeys of discovering What our plan and purpose is meant to be. Here's to us enjoying that journey Whatever it brings along the way, Whatever it brings you, And whatever it brings me.