Can mindset affect financial success?

A readable book I highly recommend everyone read

Can mindset affect financial success?

Yes, especially if someone has a “material acquisition” mindset, rather than a “financial goal” mindset.

The difference between a “material acquisition” mindset and a “financial goal” mindset is like night and day.

A “material acquisition” mindset is focused on accumulating “material things”.

A “financial goal" mindset is focused on accumulating “financial assets” in order to achieve different goals.

From basic goals, such as building an emergency cushion.

To big goals, such as saving for a house, a child's education, a post-working secure future, or the ambitious, but achievable goal of financial freedom.

The money that goes into financial assets does different things than the money that goes into material assets.

Financial assets produce income.

Material assets consume income.

I am talking about personal material assets, here.

In other words, nice things.

A nice house in a cool neighborhood is a material asset.

It consumes income.

While all houses consume income, a house in a less cool neighborhood will consume less income.

But people rarely want a house in a less cool neighborhood.

They want a house in a cool neighborhood.

There are two underlying mindsets at play for that.

One is a mindset of “It looks or sounds so nice. I must have it now".

Two, is a “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset.

The combination of the two results in a person with those mindsets, using up all the money they earn, on maintaining their "keeping up with the Joneses" lifestyle, and continuously buying experiences and things.

And when what they earn, is not enough to keep up, they borrow money, or max out credit cards and/or personal loans.

This comes at the cost of their financial security, sometimes, also at the cost of alienating (turning off) their family and friends.

And it usually puts them very much behind, not just behind the people whose lifestyles they were keeping up with, but behind less well-off family and friends, as well.

If it’s not a house, and things which make up a house (hard wood floors, granite countertops, fancy appliances, etc), it’s cars.

Cars, like houses, consume rather than produce income.

In fact, they consume lots of income.

Upfront income. Ongoing income. The purchase price, the sales tax. the registration, the insurance, the gas, the maintenance, the repairs.

It doesn’t matter that you bought the car with cash, and didn’t use financing.

Maybe you are not paying interest, by buying the car with cash.

But the cash you used to buy the car is hard-earned income, and hard-saved income.

That hard-saved income could have been used to create wealth, or be used to produce more income, instead of all being used on a single new and fancy car.

Buying a used car would have left some money for you to to build an emergency cushion, or if you have that, to invest towards a future goal such as a house, or a child's education, or your post-working days.

Houses, cars, name-brand clothes, expensive restaurant meals, sports games, concerts, vacations… if it’s not one thing, it’s another.

There are limitless ways to consume income.

There are fewer ways to produce income.

It comes down to a job, or two jobs, a business, or investments.

Financially successful people have one or more, of these things. Usually, at least two of these things.

They use debt, but when they use debt, they use it to produce income, rather than consume income, as books like Rich Dad Poor Dad advise....

Minoo Jha

· 2y

What does Robert Kiyosaki mean when he says "living debt-free is the worst advice you could give anybody today"?

He believes in using OTM to acquiring assets that produce an income, such as rental properties. His book was life-changing for many, and was one of the books that had the effect of a starter gun on me. It had an even more powerful impact on a friend of mine. Here’s what you need to know…

Financially successful people are so focused on producing, or finding more capital for what they produce, they don’t care whether they live in a fancy neighborhood, have a fancy car, or go on fancy vacations.

They know those things will come later, as a product of focusing on producing more income.

Being focused on building their stream, or streams of income, they are safe from unnecessarily expensive personal purchases, while they are in the producing stage.

They will be observed to spend less on cars, clothes, vacations, hobbies, etc, relative to what they are earning.

Money is continuously steered towards a financial goal, or towards producing more income.

Consuming is largely absent from, or a minimal part, of a producer’s mindset.

A producer’s mindset is focused on production, and/or their mission.

Capital opportunities to further production, to further the mission, are more attractive to them, than stuff that’s on sale.

The annual Nordstrom Sale or Geoffrey Beane sale is not marked on their calendars.

Producers also do not try to display wealth to attract a partner, or to display looks to attract a partner.

They know that displaying wealth, and actually having wealth, are two different things.

What’s the point of wealth display, without actual wealth, especially if it reduces, rather than enhances your financial security.

What’s the point of a looks display, without wealth to support it, and at the price of your future financial security?

For the person trapped in the looks display or wealth display mindset, financial security will be very hard to achieve.

And because one can’t fight age, or debtors, indefinitely - one or the other will catch up to them, eventually.

So my advice for anyone reading this, is to drop the consuming mindset, and switch to a producing mindset.

Take up a more high paying job.

Start a business and focus on growing it.

Invest in income-producing, or capital appreciation assets.

The more you invest, the more Interest and dividends you can earn, the more your investment grows, the more your stash of cash will grow.

Spend less, save more.

Become a minimalist.

The answer to a stash of cash may be as simple as that.

Minoo Jha

· 7y

Could minimalism be the key to financial freedom?

Hi, You asked, Could minimalism be the key to financial freedom? Yes, short of living in a tent, I am comfortably off because of living a minimalist life. Here’s how I did it… I internalized Suze Orman. I started meditating. (The book “How God Changes Your Brain” gave me both my motivation and my technique). I stopped being a nervous Nellie about my future, accepting that the future was hamarey bas ki baat nahi (Hindi for “beyond my control/capacity/competence”). I channeled stories such as the Farid ud-Din Attar story about King Mahmud and the Beans. I started tracking my expenses. I found that knowing my average monthly expenditure was within a certain range made me oodles less anxious. I searched for and read books on downshifting like Your Money or Your Life. I found out how simply some folks were living (friends and relatives in India) and how happy and content they were. It helped me develop perspective. I realized that things are not always what they seem. That people who looked better off than me with expensive cars, nice houses, the latest gadgets and who went on fabulous holidays might actually be reeling in debt and have negative net worth. I also observed how many people who are better off than me fret more than me. This is because though they are rich in externals (the visible accoutrements of a successful life), they are poor in internals (their internal life is messy). Peace and contentment can’t be bought. It is a gift you give yourself. You can be at peace even living in a crowded noisy apartment complex, whereas you can be in a state of turmoil even in the quietest most luxurious and secluded waterfront mansion. I know this sounds like a “sour grapes” rationalization, but I really do fret less than many people who are materially far better off than me. I discovered “Asteya” and made it one of my goals. Asteya is the discipline of taking from the world only what you need – without greed, excess, or wastage. I realized that producing something (expression) was more satisfying than owning anything (consumption). I observed that more stuff made me less happy rather than more happy – giving me more house cleaning, maintenance and security to worry about. And finally, I observed what made me happy. They were not things, but experiences. A good conversation. A good read. A walk or talk with a friend. A simple hearty meal. A guest post (hint,hint). A satisfying workout at the gym. Giving and receiving appreciation. Learning something new. My meditations. A fear or weakness conquered. An intellectual puzzle solved. A physical challenge met. And realizing this, I was able to cheerfully and contentedly declare “I’m good!”

Spend some time today, thinking about how you can improve your financial security.

If until now, you’ve been largely focused on buying goods and services to improve this or that aspect of your life, it will require a mindset shift.

It will also require you to be realistic.

Making money is not easy.

Hard work and sacrifices may be required to improve your financial security.

Accept the reality of that.

You can't have the mindset that you will only take up an easy, comfortable job, with low stress, flexible hours, an easy commute, or only do a business that you can do from home.

You only have to try these things once, to realize that what looked like easy money, isn't easy money.

It's easy, but there isn't any money.

Save the easy money mindset for the times in your life, when you are a parent of a young child, or you have an ill family member to take care of.

You should certainly not make it your standard operating system.

You will shackle your ability to earn money, and save money, if you operate with that mindset.

Replace that “easy job”, or “easy business venture” mindset with a “mission”, and/or a “financial goal” mindset.

Get into the right money producing occupation - whether that is a job, a business venture, or a mission.

And keep at it, until all your financial goals are reached.

Remind yourself regularly, why it’s worth your time, to give it all you've got...

Minoo Jha

· 5y

Why does it seem easier to give up than just not try again?

Because of the thought that trying again may result in nothing. But there are many circumstances in which we should consider doubling down rather than giving up. I wrote this piece to highlight some of those circumstances: 25 Circumstances In Which You Should Consider Doubling Down On Your Resolve When the money is worth it. When the opportunity is worth it. When it is essential to achieving your potential. When you have a worthwhile goal. When you have nothing to lose. When you have a lot to learn. When you really (really) want something. If your conscience says you should. If it’s a possible stepping stone to big things. When your intuition tells you to. When your financial position is at risk. If it is what you need to do to tide over. When a value that is important to you is on the line. If it’s important to you not to feel like a quitter. If it involves any habit you need to give up. When you want to break a pattern. If it’s a life and death situation. When you’ve invested time and money, and victory feels close. When people are depending on you. When turning back would have negative consequences. If your physical or emotional health will be positively impacted. If it is important to your spiritual growth. If it is important to your self-worth. If it will increase your tolerance of challenges, frustration, and criticism. If it will build your character. ******************** When you double down on your resolve, you effectively create your own boot camp. Going through your personalized 'circumstantial' boot camp, will make you stronger, and more confident in your ability to handle tough challenges. A quitter mentality never made anyone feel good. An easy-way-out mentality never made anyone feel good. It is your hard achievements which will make you feel good. Make sure your goals are hard and worthwhile goals to pursue. Then resolve to double down, even triple down, on your resolve to achieve those goals. I urge you to bump up your motivation to a new level by breaking out of convenience, comfort and the status quo, and going for something bigger. Here's a sampling of my thoughts on that, taken from the concluding lines of another piece I wrote: "You can’t write a blog without actively choosing fear. When you sit down to write a piece, you fear being boring, being repetitive, being out of touch, and being irrelevant. I face that fear every week when I sit down to write. Convenience. Comfort. Status Quo. Inconvenience. Discomfort. Breakthrough. The fact that I continue to write tells you what my spirit has chosen." I will end with this powerful message from Joe De Sena who conducts the Spartan Up races: “When you break through the other side of hell and finish an event that did not seem possible, that stopped you in your tracks, over and over, something happens. You feel accomplished, incredibly proud of yourself, and in some ways, a different person” You are going to feel accomplished, incredibly proud of yourself, and a different person for trying and trying again.

Whatever you do, don’t pair the “easy income”, “easy mission” mindset, with a “spend to the paycheck on personal indulgences, and use debt when the paycheck is insufficient” mindset.

That will doom your efforts to achieve your financial goals, even before you begin.

Choose a job that pays you well

And then choose financial success or mission success, over material success, as your goal.

One last word -

It’s never too late to wake up.

It’s never too late to stop following the crowd.

It’s never to late to think radically differently.

Can early life experiences truly shape a lifelong commitment to values like compassion and humanism, and what are some examples?

I do have memories of events in my early life, pointing to an awareness of what I thought was inhumane.

When animals or people were treated with cruelty, I used to have tears rolling down my face.

I was called a “cry baby”, because I was so easily driven to tears.

I was driven to tears, sometimes out of self-pity, which is a form of compassion for oneself.

I was also frequently driven to tears, out of compassion for the suffering of other living things-  human beings and animals.

If I plucked up the courage to reach out, I reached out.

As I grew older, I hardened to indifference, unkindness, and cruelty - whether aimed towards me, towards other people, towards animals..

I realized this indifference, because a few people around me had the compassion that I no longer showed - my friend, Anita, for example - who had, and still has, an amazing compassion for animals.

I was happy for the existence of people, such as Anita.

Some things have stuck in my head from those days - such as my maid Theresa telling me not not kill the ants that were running around our kitchen, because in her words, "they were seeking food to store for winter."

By my early 30's, the hardening was complete, and resulted in me doing some unkind things, which I truly regret...

Minoo Jha

· 7y

What is the most important life lesson you've learned after growing up?

Hi, You asked, What is the most important life lesson you've learned after growing up? That kindness is more important than generosity. As a young adult, I was generous, but I was not kind. This story is a classic example of how I was generous and not kind… The Gold Chain When I got married, I moved into the home where my husband lived with his brother and his dad. Working for them was Pushpa, their maid, who had been with the family for a long time. I knew Pushpa from before I got married, because she had been doing part time housecleaning and cooking for me at my bachelorette pad. Like all maids in India at the time, Pushpa was poor and lived a hard-scrabble life. Her home was a thatched hut in a slum, and everything - from food to clothes to medicines, to keeping her hut from collapsing when it rained - was a challenge. Pushpa's pay wasn't sufficient for all her expenses, so she would ask my father-in-law for additional money during the month. When my husband came home from work, my father in law would say to him, "Pushpa needs x rupees for medicine. Can you give me that to give to her." I felt sorry for Pushpa and decided to reach out to her secretly. When she and I were alone, I said to her, "Pushpa, I would like to give you some additional money on the side, so you don't have to ask Sir (my father in law) for money every other week. This can be just between you and me – Sir or Rakesh or Shreekant needn’t know about it.Can you tell me an amount that would be helpful for you to get." Now Pushpa was not a greedy soul, and she didn't know what amount to propose. She shyly replied, "I don't know Ma". So I made the decision for both of us. I said, "I'll tell you what. You are getting 2000 rupees every month from Sir. How about I give you another 2000 rupees? Here, take this." And with that, I gave Pushpa 2000 rupees, effectively doubling her pay. (I was earning a good income and I can assure you this was not financially difficult for me at all, so please don't think I was anyone great for doing this.) A month went by. One day, my husband and me arrived home from work together. As we entered the door, my father in law said, "Ah, Shreekant…..can you give me 400 rupees to give to Pushpa for medicine." I felt a flash of anger. I had expected that once Pushpa started getting the extra 2000 rupees from me, she would stop asking my father-in-law for money during the month. “How dare she ask for this money after I have doubled her pay!” I thought to myself. Of course I couldn't talk to anyone about this, since I was giving her the money in secret. At the first opportunity I could get her alone, I confronted her about it, "Why are you still asking Sir for extra money? I doubled your pay. You should not be needing to ask for 300 rupees here, 300 rupees there anymore." She looked embarrassed and never replied. I felt a great need to solve the situation once in for all, thinking mightily of my powers to do so. "Ok, I will tell you what, Pushpa," I said, "I will give you 3000 rupees instead of 2000 rupees every month secretly from my own pocket. This should cover you for anything and everything that comes up during the month. Agreed?" She nodded her head and I handed her an additional 1000 rupees which she gratefully accepted. A month went by. And, oh no. Yes, you guessed right. I hear my father in law say to my husband, "Ah, Shreekant…..give me 400 rupees to give to Pushpa. She needs to buy something for her family." It was like waving a red flag to a bull. I had expected that the extra 3000 rupees would have put a full stop to this. I could not understand what was going on. Things were not going as planned. Though Pushpa was getting two and a half times her pay, nothing had changed. She was still asking for extra money, as if the extra 3000 rupees did not exist. I couldn't wait for her to come in to work the next day to tackle her. As soon as she got in, and I got her alone, I demanded an answer. "Pushpa, your pay is two and a half times what it used to be. Whatever are you spending the extra money on? " I was taken aback when she sheepishly pointed to a thin gold chain round her neck. She explained..... Apparently she had always wanted a gold chain, but could never afford to buy one. When I started giving her the extra 3000 every month, she was able to enroll in a chit fund and take out a loan to buy a gold chain. Now she was using the money I was giving her every month to pay the loan off. All the extra money was going to pay off the debt she had incurred to buy the gold chain, and none of it to improve her everyday life. Which was why she still had to ask for 300 rupees here and 300 rupees there. I was horribly upset. There was nothing I could do and my hands were tied. I had expected to improve Pushpa's lot in life, but she was at square one, struggling to keep body and soul together, except she now had a gold chain she was really happy and proud to possess which I had made possible. Because of my expectations, it took me several years to come to terms with this. Over the next year, I gradually grew into an expectations monster, and a tyrant with Pushpa, nagging her about everything. Eventually Pushpa left the job because of my nagging and demands. Starting out in childhood as a kind, generous person to her, I turned into a monster. And I didn’t realize it. It was many years later when remorse struck and I regretted my past behavior. It had been inexcusably harsh. Pushpa was such a good soul, and didn’t deserve my harshness. Today, I understand that kindness is superior to generosity, and expectancy is superior to expectations. My kinder attitude has brought perspective as well, and I think about Pushpa’s gold chain purchase differently. It is human to have needs beyond food, clothing and shelter. Even someone in tough circumstances may prefer the beauty and pride of a gold chain to a marginal improvement in comfort. How I wish I could turn back the clock and have been kinder when I was younger.

Changing back to who I was, took a long time, and started only with my mother’s death.

I realized that if I had to pick a model of kindness to aim to be like, my mother was the perfect model.

Her death whispered this truth to me, and I felt a desire to become more like her, to become more like the compassionate child I used to be.

I had gotten lost, but now I decided it was time to find my way back.

Minoo Jha

· 3y

Why is it that family school and environment has a big impact on one's personality?

Because behavior is typically enforced in families and schools. Where behavior is not enforced, impressionable minds learn from example. The example set by our parents can impact us for the rest of our lives. My mother was a beautiful soul, and one of the examples she set for us was to be kind and generous in everything, including her compliments. This had an impact on me and 2of my siblings. I was not aware that I was generous with compliments, until some of my close friends began to comment on it. I wondered where the tendency came from. Then I noticed that an older sister of mine was very generous with her compliments, and I immediately decided my habit of complimenting came from her. But when I spoke to her about it, she told me it came from my mom. My dear mom. A beautiful soul. She left us a legacy of extreme kindness and poetry…

I decided that the best thing I could do to honor my mother’s memory, was to be as kind to my daughter, as she used to be to my daughter.

The work of returning to a more compassionate state had started.

5 years after my mother’s death, I learned to meditate.

I became more self-reflective, after learning to meditate.

Through self-reflection, I identified other ways in which I needed to change...

Minoo Jha

· 3y

Why do some people have a hard time with self-reflection?

Because you will find out that you are not as smart as you think you are, as nice as you think you are, as ethical as you think you are, as honest as you think you are, I could go on and on…. In this piece I wrote, I share my own humbling discoveries about myself - I Thought I Was A Flower I thought I was a flower. Silly me. In so many respects, I am still a bud. And have growing to do. In spite of the sunlight. In spite of the soil. In spite of the water. In spite of the many years I have been on the stalk. I am still a bud. In this respect and that respect. In so many respects. I am still a bud. And I still have growing to do. __ That being the case… Be patient with me. Be patient with me. __ I thought I was a tree. Silly me. I now see. I am just a branch. Of a very big tree. Called humanity. It will take some time. To shake off the idea. That I am not the tree. I have to chip away at the bark. That kept me in the dark. That kept me from seeing all this time. That I am just a part. Of this very big tree. Called humanity. __ Which is why, I ask... Be patient with me. Be patient with me. __ I thought I was the ocean. Silly me. I found out I am just a drop. Among drops and drops and drops. In a vast expanse. That's as wide as it is deep. Beyond what my naked eye can see. When I think about that. I pause. And lift up my hands. And express awe. And then some more. At this amazing vastness I was not aware I was a part of. Isn't it amazing, to think. This little drop that's me. Is part of drops and drops and drops. So vast, it's more than my naked eye can see. And to think I have been living in a bubble that was so tiny. I am glad my eyes have opened. But I have to get used to this. __ So please… Be patient with me. Be patient with me.

Self-reflection is an interior mirror.

Exterior mirrors tell you how you look to other people.

Interior mirrors tell you how you are.

As I get older, and look more and more into this interior mirror, I think back on the steps and missteps I’ve made, on my journey in and out of compassion, and it is clear to me that in this rough and tough world, there is great need for more compassion, and more humanism. Hearts need to soften, my heart most of all.  I am grateful to all the people who have set examples, and opened my eyes to the need for hearts to soften. Hard decisions made with a hard heart, weakens bonds and connection, and leads to rifts. Hard decisions made with a soft heart, increases bonds and connection, bridges the distance between people to bring them closer, and heals rifts. Whatever the situation, love and a soft heart are the way. We would do well to tamp down our expectations, ideas, and carelessly expressed opinions and comments, and to let compassion and connection guide our words and actions, and carry the day.

How do you help a client who has reached their goal weight, but still sees their "old self" in the mirror?

This is where therapy and self-help books are useful.

A self-help classic, (one of the 50 classic self-help books, according to some lists like the Butler-Bowdon list) is Psycho-Cybernetics.

It was written by Maxwell Maltz, a renowned plastic surgeon.

He wrote Psycho-Cybernetics, because he discovered that not all self-esteem problems can be solved by correcting physical flaws.

Some of his patients suffered from low self-esteem problems, even after they underwent plastic surgery, and the flaw that they thought their low self-esteem was due to, was corrected.

Psycho-Cybernetics contains other strategies to boost self-esteem.

You can find a short summary of the book on websites like Short Form.

You can also find the entire PDF of Psycho-Cybernetics online.

I would also recommend the book The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, if the client is a woman, because women have their own unique set of problems, related to societal expectations of what they are supposed to be like, and what lives they are expected to be happy with.

It is a huge relief when we are able to shake off our self-esteem problems, and our eyes are opened to the fact that what we think is the problem, is not the problem.

And this is what you should aim to do - open their eyes to the fact that weight loss is not the whole answer.

“Bad leads to good”, as I often say.

Your client had to succeed at the weight loss, for both you and them to realize, that their problem is not purely cosmetic.

It is a generalized dissatisfaction problem.

The dissatisfaction will go away, or reduce, only when your client makes meaningful progress in the area of the dissatisfaction.

So my advice is to start by familiarizing yourself with Psycho-Cybernetics and The Feminine Mystique.

Then guide your client towards non-cosmetic improvements in their life.

It is a relief when we can give up our self-absorption and self-indulgence, both of which cast a dark shadow on the life of someone with low self-esteem.

What are some unexpected places or people I got great writing advice, or inspiration from, and how did it help me in my writing?

One, was a book called Write for Your Lives by Joseph Sestito, a practicing Buddhist.

I started my blog in 2010, and I read this book in 2014.

Before reading it, I used to fret excessively about each post, especially when I was getting ready to publish it on my blog.

Joseph Sestito’s book helped me free myself from that.

I think about this book, every time I start to fret about my writing.

Thank you, Write for Your Lives.

Minoo Jha

· 2y

What are the downsides to a person being a striver?

Hollow victories. I speak from personal experience. Once upon a time there was a girl. She looked around her and decided she needed to be certain things in order to feel worthwhile. “I need to be stylish” she said to herself. “I need to be thin.” “I need to be funny.” “I need to be clever.” “I need to be thrilling.” “I need to be original.” “I need to be successful.” “I need to be rich.” The girl threw herself hither and tither in many different directions in order to be all of these things. She tried many different diets and exercise programs. She read joke books. She studied the dictionary and practiced IQ tests. She thought of clever things to say. She worked hard to improve her skills. She changed jobs and rose up the ladder. She read relationship books and parenting books. She developed her tastes in music and literature and the good things in life. She left no stone unturned. But whatever the girl did, satisfaction and fulfillment was just out of her reach. When she asked herself, “am I stylish enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I successful enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I rich enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I a good enough mother and a good enough spouse?” the answer was no. The girl found that in spite of how far she had come and all she had achieved, there were many things missing from her life. Happiness was missing - she was easily dejected. Fulfillment was missing - her victories felt empty. Self-control was missing - she would lose it at the drop of a hat. Peace was missing - she felt stressed and anxious most of the time. Energy was missing - she didn't have enthusiasm or passion for anything. Security was missing - she felt dread and anxiety when she thought about the future. Above, all she felt trapped in an endless cycle of keeping up - with the job, with the bills, with the house, with being a good mother, a good employee, a good spouse, and above all, her image. Then one day, the girl woke up. She realized she had been borrowing other people's ideas of a worthwhile life. She realized energy, peace, equanimity, self-control and security was what she wanted most and it would not come from pursuing wealth, approval, status or conformity. She realized being at peace and living a harmonious life was more important than being stylish, rich, clever or successful, or fitting in with the crowd. She decided to go her own way. Immediately, a weight was lifted off of her. She was free to do all the things she wanted to do without any false ideal or standard to conform to. She could go to work and focus on doing a good job, not getting ahead. She could have a conversation with people and not worry about whether she was coming across as uninformed or uncultured. She could meet people and not fret about her appearance. She could be who she was and make the decisions she wanted to and not worry about being judged. She could focus on meaning and authenticity rather than impression and image in all her interactions. That girl was me. Do you want to be like that? Raise your hand, if you do. How do you do that? You do that by waking up from trying to be Ms. Perfect living the “perfect life”. Perfection is the enemy of our peace, our equanimity, and our tranquility. If we let it raise its head, it can make us feel miserable about everything we do and all areas of our life. And it will keep our wheels stuck in the sand. If I aimed for perfection every time I sat down to write an article on my blog, it would never get off the ground. I would ask myself - “Is this funny enough?” “Is this clever enough?” “Is this thrilling enough?” “Is this special enough?” “Is this original enough?” “Does it have enough witticisms?” Of course, the answer would be no. I am not good with jokes. My thoughts are rarely original. And I can't come up with a witticism to save my life. So I would spend oodles of time trying to compensate by perfecting a sentence here, or a phrase there. And all I would be doing by that is spinning my wheels, indulging in what Joseph Sestito, author of Write for Your Lives, calls “self-cherishing”. Self-cherishing is focusing on the impression we want to make rather than the ideas we want to communicate. The downside of being a striver is that you can become so focused on striving, you can forget what it is you are striving for. At bottom, what we all want is a worthwhile life. But each of us needs to separately think what that means to us. Because borrowing your idea of a worthwhile life may leave me feeling unfulfilled and empty. And borrowing my idea of a worthwhile life may leave you feeling unfulfilled and empty. If everyone is buying houses, is buying a house essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. If everyone is buying fancy cars, does it mean buying fancy cars is essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. If everyone has a partner, does it mean having a partner is essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. So my advice to strivers is to know what it is you are truly striving for. Craft a personal definition of success

Second unexpected place was my advertising career, and the writing advice I got from reading books by advertising greats such as David Ogilvy, and learning through the experience of being a practicing advertising copywriter, what combination of words and images works, and what doesn’t.

One of the first things to go was my “Shashi Tharoor big words” habit, a habit I thought made me sound stylish, articulate, and well-bred, which I later understood was also related to the Mangalorean Catholic culture, I was born into.

Minoo Jha

· 7y

What are some unique things about your culture?

Hi, You asked, What are some unique things about your culture? I am a Mangalorean Catholic. Mangalorean Catholics pride themselves on their vocabulary and if they have to choose between a big word and a small word, they always choose the big word. I wrote a post on my blog about this. Reprinting it below in full for your amusement. The Mangalorean & The Big Words When my daughter was younger (10 years younger than she is now), she made the observation that Mangaloreans (yours truly included) use extra big words when they speak. So I thought it might be fun to do a “How Would a Mangalorean Say?” post (with a little bit of exaggeration here and there for added flavor). Here goes... Normal Person: My kids play together while I work. Mangalorean: The offspring entertain each other while I attend to my business affairs. Normal Person: Be back soon after changing my clothes. Mangalorean: I will return presently in more suitable attire. Normal Person: Can I say something? Mangalorean: Can I interject with an opinion? Normal Person: Did you see any animals while walking? Mangalorean: Did you encounter any wildlife on your trails? Normal Person: I have to use the bathroom. Mangalorean: I need to utilize the facilities. Normal Person: Can you help me? Mangalorean: Can you provide me with the necessary assistance? Normal Person: I am thinking of visiting India. Mangalorean: I am contemplating a visit to the motherland. Normal Person: I would like to climb Mt Everest one day. Mangalorean: I am desirous of scaling the heights of Mt. Everest. Normal Person: That was a great meal. Mangalorean: That was a gastronomical delight. Normal Person: Can I get back to you? Mangalorean: Can I formulate an appropriate response? P.S. If you know someone (Mangalorean or not) who talks like that and have examples of your own to share, send them on to me for my collection and possible future publishing on my blog...thanks. P.S. After publishing this post, I was afraid to attend an NCMA event. What if they threw "sannas" at me?

I realized this after attending and volunteering at numerous Bay Area events hosted by my community.

A third unexpected place was from learning to meditate.

The book that helped me learn to meditate was a book written by 2 neuroscientists, called How God Changes Your Brain.

This book helped me become a low maintenance person.

In a few months of reading How God Changes Your Brain, and learning to meditate, I also started my blog.

Meditation helped me give up the self absorption and self indulgence, which had blocked the flow of ideas and words for 14 years.

Yes, I got back to writing after a break of 14 years!

Minoo Jha

· 7y

Why does taking a break from learning an activity seemingly make you better when you come back to it?

Hi, Why does taking a break from learning an activity seemingly make you better when you come back to it? It totally does. It apparently has something to do with allowing the subconscious to contribute to the process. Nowhere is this truer than in being able to generate ideas. I know from experience. Read on… Picture Courtesy: EssJay (Flickr) Each one of us is an ideas machine. The combination of our experience, our circumstances, all the things we have seen, heard, read and been exposed to, our unique genetic make-up, our education, our knowledge, and our skills, gives us the potential to produce a unique idea. Actually, to produce an unlimited quantity of unique ideas. Every advertising creative knows this. As idea after idea is rejected for the campaign we are working on, we are able to come up with yet another idea; and then yet another idea - until we arrive at the one idea everyone believes will work – the one which will go to print or production. Every serial inventor or entrepreneur – (Ray Kurzweil, Elon Musk, Reed Hoffman, or any of the other people who have founded multiple companies, or come up with multiple products) knows this. Once you come up with an idea for a second invention or start a second company, you know you have the power to do it again. So if each one of us is an idea-generating machine, why do we get stuck and what will get us unstuck? I thought about this a lot during the 14 years, when I did not and could not write. My first career was in writing. After writing a few freelance pieces for the local newspaper, and one or two magazines (this was back in India), I was discovered by a friend of one of my siblings. She got me my first copywriting job in an ad agency (Thank you Mela). For the rest of time, I was in India, I was a copywriter, and made a living out of writing for the Indian affiliates of J Walter Thompson, Bozell, and Saatchi and Saatchi. I even set up my own creative shop. Then I came to the US. I was not able to break into advertising. So I took up a sales admin job at Palm, and then, by sheer accident, ended up becoming their Commissions Analyst. Whether it was the fact of dealing purely with numbers in my new role, or the stress of raising a young child, I stopped writing. It bothered me. Where had that person gone? I would get an idea for a story or article, and I would pick up a pen. I would write a couple of lines, but the motivation and inspiration would completely dry up. I would stare at the blank paper hopelessly. People would say to me, “Minoo, you used to be so good at writing, you really should get back into writing.” I would nod my head and say “I know,” but inside my head, I would think, “those days are over for me. Maybe my previous career was just luck.” And then it happened. On December 27, 2010, I created a blog on Google Blogger, and published my first post on it. Why after 14 years of not being able to write, was I suddenly able? What had happened? Do you want to guess? The title of this post gives a clue. I had been given the accidental gift of a creative pause. Here’s the story…. I gave up my last full-time employment in June of 2010. I did the Xactly Administrators Course 2 months later, and signed a contract with Solution Partners to join their Xactly Implementation Team. But other than doing an FRD (Functional Requirements Document) for a project which got put on hold, I did not do any other work, and was to remain professionally idle for the next 7 months. I now realize this idleness was the gift of gifts. Because the next thing I knew, I had learned to meditate. Just like that. I read a book (my post Connected Minds tells the story) and followed the meditation technique from the book. I never looked back. Meditation became a daily activity in my life, starting from that time. The next thing I knew, I was blogging. On December 27, 2010, I published my first post 4 Decisions I Wish I Had Made Earlier. Even while writing it, I wondered “Is this a flash in the pan? What if I can’t keep it up?” It felt awkward and clumsy to write after all that time. But the impulse was there and I followed it. This time the inspiration didn’t dry up after the first two lines. And the inspiration didn’t dry up after the first post; or the first few posts; or the first few months; or the first year. Just like with my meditation, I never looked back. Blogging became a regular activity in my life starting from that time. From my experience, I can confidently say we are all idea-generating machines. And the only thing holding us back from being the idea-generating machines we are meant to be, may be a creative pause. In fact, we may need regular creative pauses. Because when we are caught up in the humdrum and buzz of routine life, and all its mundane demands, it’s hard to get the idea machine going. See, ideas are not like horses you can go after with a lasso (John Wayne style). They are just neurons, firing, and lighting up, and colliding against other neurons in your brain. And for whatever reason (another wonder of nature), they need you to relax - go fishing, take a walk in the park (Newton), jump into a shower or a bath-tub (Archimedes), open a hymn book in church (Arthur Fry of Post-it Notes fame). This suggests we should welcome creative pauses in our lives, even intentionally create them. Want to come up with a new business idea? Go on a nature hike. Want to write a book? Seclude yourself in a quiet place with nothing but your thoughts. Want to create something new? Go fishing. Your thoughts are not to be underestimated. Thoughts did not let down all the inventors and entrepreneurs and authors and artists through history. Why would you think they would let you down? So take a walk. Go fishing. Go on a hike. Become unemployed. Go to prison. Get sick. “Minoo, what are you talking about – become unemployed, go to prison, get sick? Have you gone insane?” No, I am serious. Any stretch of completely unstructured time, in which you are alone with your thoughts, can turn on the idea-generating machine. Remember, it was precisely because I was unemployed, and had oodles of time on my hands, the muse came back. I might never have rediscovered my creativity, were I not twiddling my thumbs for 7 straight months. It helped that I had an emergency cushion and lived a simple life. If you have an emergency cushion and can live simply, a spell of unemployment can be just the ticket to get your idea-machine going. Let’s not forget J K Rowling was a single mother on welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter book. What ideas can be conceived in a prison cell? Anything. After all, you are alone with your thoughts. Chuck Colson, were he alive, would testify. During his 8 month sentence in a federal prison for his role in the Watergate scandal, he came up with the idea for his nationally famous Prison Ministry. I also mention getting sick. Does that sound weird? It is not weird at all. Many famous books and ideas originated in someone’s head when they were on their sick bed. My post The Gift of Time mentions one such. Interestingly, this post you are reading, was written by me from my sickbed. I had a full blown migraine yesterday and had to take to bed. But as I was lying down, resting off the headache, thoughts would come to me, so I would get up, scribble them down, and fall back into bed. I wrote almost 60% of this post from my sickbed yesterday. Could migraines be a gift from the universe? Hmmm… I repeat, any stretch of completely unstructured time, in which you are alone with your thoughts, can turn on the idea-generating machine. So I hope you will welcome these pauses when you get them, and even intentionally create them. Don’t be anything less than the idea-generating powerhouse you were meant to be. Begin the process of regular creative pauses and experience the thrill of continuous creation.

2010 was a year of many remarkable new things for me.

I read How God Changes Your Brain, and learned to meditate that year.

I became a freelancer in my commissions administration field that year.

Before that year ran out, I had started a blog.

2010 was also the year I made a new, lasting, and much treasured friendship.

Here’s how it went down…

I was living in an apartment, and I went to get my mail.

At the mailbox, I ran into another tenant, who I had never met before, and who was also getting her mail.

I noticed she was dressed to go for a walk, and I said to her, “ You look like you are going for a walk.” “Yes, care to join me?” she replied.

“I have to hop onto a meeting on my computer in 15 minutes, so I can’t today, but I would like to join you when you walk next,” I said.

“Sure. I walk every day,” she said, “I go up the hill. What is your name and where do you live?”

My apartment was right in front of the mailboxes, and I pointed it out.

“I will call you from down here, tomorrow, when I am going on my walk”, she said.

I expected this to be a grand promise on which nothing would be delivered, as is sometimes the case, when people make plans to do something with you.

But she kept her word, and sure enough, the next day, I heard a voice calling me from outside my apartment window - “Minoo. Minoo”.

That was the beginning of a walking companionship that continues till this day, and which morphed into a cruising companionship, a going to the movies companionship, a going to the Sphere in Las Vegas to see Wizard of Oz companionship, and so much more.

And 5 years later, I started going to Sunday service, with this friend.

And voila….

Going to Sunday service became another new and unexpected source of inspiration for my writing.

I have had before service inspirations, during service inspirations, and after service inspirations.

My friend is an usher, and we go to church 30 minutes before the service starts.

As a result, I am typically, just one of 5 people, in the sanctuary, when we get to church.

The 30 minutes before service, when hardly any of the congregation is around, has proved to be a fertile field for both ideas and thoughts.

I will be sitting, sometimes with a book, and almost whatever the book, ideas and thoughts, worth remembering, cross my mind.

If I have a paper and pen in my bag, I take them out, and write the ideas down.

If I don’t have a pen and paper, I just enter the ideas and thoughts on my iphone Notes app.

Many a blog post has emerged this way - during silent idle time in the church sanctuary.

One was written one 4th of July. It was prompted by someone passing me with a stars and stripes tie.

So many delightful and uncanny things have happened during Sunday service.

Sometimes I will have thoughts and ideas before service, and then, when the pastor gives his sermon, his thoughts and ideas are similar to the thoughts I had just before service started.

Like we have had a telepathic moment.

On occasion, I have published a blog post in the morning, and gone to service to find the pastor’s sermon filled with many of the same thoughts and ideas that were in my post, sometimes, even the same quote, or same references, and metaphors.

For example, on the same day, the pastor gave a sermon in which he made multiple references to the Garden of Eden serpent. I had published a post about a serpent that morning.

I like to think of these as telepathic moments created by being in a meditative field with others.

Shortly after I started meditating, the idea for one of my favorite posts came out of a telepathic moment with a close friend - my 3 Benches post. Read it and you will understand why it qualifies to be one of my favorite writings.

So now you know that church and Sunday service is another one of my unexpected places, to get thoughts and writing ideas from.

I will round off this list of unexpected sources for writing thoughts and ideas, with a fifth and last unexpected source for writing thoughts and ideas - IMDB, the movie site.

It is where I stumbled upon some truly delightful Big Bang Theory conversations between Sheldon and Penny.

I developed my “Find a Penny” series of blog posts, based on those conversations.

So there you have it - 5 unexpected sources of writing advice and inspiration from someone who loves writing, and who has been writing weekly on this blog, starting Dec 27, 2010.