Why is it good to be courageous in life?

You will need courage to get out of a comfort zone:

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What event made you get out of your comfort zone?

Hi, You asked,What event made you get out of your comfort zone? I had to make a career change when I moved to America. A big, big career change. This event that made me get out of my comfort zone in a big way. Here’s my story… When I was in 2nd grade, I won a state-wide SPCA essay writing contest for an essay I wrote called My Pet. This was the first sign of my writing talents. The next sign was after I finished high school and started having boyfriends. As soon as we got serious, “the boyfriend” would start receiving handmade greeting cards from me. I would express my feelings in all sorts of creative ways on these handmade greeting cards. They were low on image quality. I couldn’t draw to save my life. But they were reasonably good on word quality. Because when Boyfriend 2 came along, after receiving the 4th or 5th card from me, he said, “Minoo, you would make a good copywriter” “What’s that?” I asked. I had never heard of copywriters. At the time, our city was dotted with some very clever billboards for a floor laminate. My boyfriend said, “Minoo, you know those billboards with those clever Woody Woodpecker lines - those were written by a copywriter.” “Ooooh, I would love to do that,” I said, “How can I get to do that?” “You have to join an advertising agency,” he said to me. At the time, I was still in college, so I just filed it away. But that was sign 2 - the recognition from the boyfriend for my writing talent. Sign 3 emerged shortly after. When I should have been in my 2nd year of college, I switched to “external college studies”. This was really an excuse to give myself time to think about what I wanted to do with my life. As a result, I had a lot of spare time on my hands. I used this spare time to scribble again. Since there was no more boyfriend, he had departed for another city with my greeting cards, my scribbles took on new form. I wrote my own guitar songs - lyrics and music. I found this to be more rewarding than writing greeting cards for boyfriends, because I had a larger audience, consisting of family and friends. And I also started writing middles for the local newspaper. Writing for the newspaper, was of course, even more rewarding in terms of audience; the audience was as large as the circulation of the newspaper. And I was to find out how rewarding it was to reach newspaper audiences, when my sister got a call one day from a friend, who said, “We have a job for that sister of yours who writes for the newspaper.” The friend was calling from an advertising agency. Shortly after that call, I started my first advertising copy job. My boyfriend’s suggestion had turned out to be prophetic. Then I moved to America and the music stopped. I couldn’t land a copywriting job. I couldn’t even land an interview for a copywriting job. I got a job as an Admin Assistant to a Sales Manager at Palm Inc. 6 months into the job, we had a one on one. My manager suggested I apply to an opening that was available on the Commissions Administration team. I was his Admin Assistant, but he had my best interests at heart - I know…so sweet. Initially, I was incredulous. I was a words person. How could I, a words person, do an ‘all numbers” job like Commissions Accounting? His suggestion appeared kind, but misplaced. But you know what? Sometimes, we need to go with an idea, even if it sounds crazy. That’s the only way to find out if we can do the unthinkable. So with a great deal of trepidation and reluctance, I bit the bullet and went for this totally new and scary "Commissions Accounting" thing. And guess what I found out? I was a words person, but I was also a numbers person. I was a pretty decent numbers person, at that. After a short while, my new manager in Commissions Accounting, went out on maternity leave, and never returned. This left me in charge of the commissions function at Palm entirely. It was intimidating. But every night after my daughter went to sleep, I would crack the Excel books. In this way, I quickly mastered Excel. And this once “words only” person handled the commissions function at Palm on her own for the next 5 years - until she moved to greener pastures. I am still doing Commissions Accounting today, except I now do it as a Freelance Consultant. As a freelance consultant, I have to get out of my comfort zone with every assignment. Every new assignment brings a brand new set of opportunities and challenges. But of course, with so many zigs and zags in my professional life, it doesn’t scare me away any more. You see, getting out of my comfort zone has become second nature to me.

You will need courage to face an uncomfortable truth:

Minoo Jha

 · 4y

Why are people scared of telling the truth?

Because the truth may be hard to swallow. When it comes to the truth, each of us has a choice - one, to live in denial or find someone to blame, or two, to seek the truth (about ourselves and about situations and circumstances in our life) and then make the changes that may be necessary. I am strongly for the second option, as this piece I wrote indicates: Sincerely Yours We sign off our letters, Sincerely Yours. But are we sincere? Do people in our lives really know how we feel? Or do we hold back? Do we have secret thoughts and feelings about ourselves that we don't share with them? Do we have secret thoughts and feelings about them, that we don't share with them? We may think we have good reasons to keep some of our thoughts, feelings, and actions secret: If the hidden truth is about ourselves, the truth may be embarrassing or devastating. We are scared of our image being tarnished. We are afraid people will shy away from us, if they knew something about us. Some people were scandalized when I admitted being carried out drunk from restaurants in my younger days. If the hidden truths are, not about us, but about other people we deal with, it is because we may not want to hurt their feelings. Or we may want to keep the peace. Hidden truths can be small truths. Or big, devastating truths. A depression. A desire to end your life. A communicable disease . An addiction. Or just not being what, or who, everyone thinks we are. Examples: Perception: Everyone thinks you are rich. Reality: You are bankrupt. Perception: Everyone thinks you are an upstanding member of society. Reality: You have a terrible addiction, or you are, or have been involved in, some seedy underhand dealings where you used your power to use, manipulate, bribe, seduce, threaten, or deceive innocent, powerless, or vulnerable people. Perception: Everyone thinks you are pro-life and care about children. Reality: You have had children out of wedlock that you couldn't care 2 hoots about. Perception: Publicly, you are outspoken in your disapproving thoughts about homosexuality. Reality: You are a closet homosexual. The truth is a terrible and scary thing. When I suffered a depression, I initially hid it from everybody. It was my big, devastating hidden truth. You can see how the successful owner of a business, who seemingly has everything - " a great business, a fit body, a great marriage - would want to hide the fact she is depressed. And yet, the more devastating the truth, the more it needs to be poured from one heart into another heart. Even if the truth knocks you off your pedestal. For sure, having a depression knocked me off my pedestal as the "gal who had it all". But I knew keeping it a secret was not the right thing to do. If there was any hope for me to recover from it, it would come from sharing it with someone else, which I did. So these are my thoughts on the truth... I believe sharing the truth helps us more than it hurts us. Hopefully, this means you can count on me to tell you the truth. Just say, "Minoo, I want your sincere advice, " and I will give it to you. Sometimes I will give you the truth, even when you don't ask me for it. This is because truth has become a value to me. Which is why I am writing a piece about it. Signing off, Sincerely yours, Minoo

You will need courage to go against stereotypes:

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

What is the best way to become successful as a woman?

Hi, You asked, What is the best way to become successful as a woman? I started off as a dependent cry baby. I became a strong, independent woman. Here’s how I did it (reprinted from a post with the same title on my blog). How I Went From A Girlie Girl to A Strong, Independent Woman It Doesn't Matter Where You Started, What Matters Is Where You Plan to End I learned to live alone. I learned to drive. I learned to make my own decisions. I learned to manage money on my own. I learned to value myself outside of a relationship. I learned to value what was in my head and heart, over the way I looked. I changed my focus to what I did, and how I acted. I stopped measuring myself against traditional ideas of ‘feminine’ success. I stopped identifying myself with my child’s successes and failures. I started setting boundaries on what I would, and would not, accept. I stopped being passive-aggressive, and learned to speak up. I started handling more things on my own. I became more self-sufficient. I started getting involved in things I used to hand over to men. (While I do not know how to fix my car, I get fully involved with every repair – researching the facts and becoming knowledgeable – whether it’s the blend door actuator on my air-conditioner, or a rack and pinion steering issue.) I learned to take charge, and make choices which made the most financial sense, covering all the bases - my housing, my car, my taxes, my insurance, my investments, my utilities, my child’s education, my health. I learned to make my voice heard through my blog. I learned to stop second guessing myself, and beating myself up for flaws or slips. I learned to take risks. Finally, I learned it does not matter where you started. What matters more is where you plan to end. So this is my advice to you: Sit at the table. Take smart risks. Seek challenges. Pursue your goals with gusto. And know, you can do it, exactly as you are. You are enough.

You will need courage to succeed if you are in a minority, for example, the only woman in a group:

Minoo Jha

 · 9mo

Are all women manipulative?

People pleasing, emotional blackmail, and manipulation are learned behaviors, and have their roots in the historical expectations of what behaviors are expected from a woman. Throughout history, and even in current times, women have been expected to be quiet, passive, soft-spoken, submissive, gentle, kind, and undemanding. It is very important to be “UNDEMANDING”. To demand NOTHING. Speaking out, standing out, and DEMANDING anything, is frowned upon. It is thought to be shrewish and UNWOMANLY. This is what makes many women, as modern as they are, resort to people pleasing, emotional blackmail, manipulation, lies, and other forms of deceptive behavior, when they have to get what they want. They are afraid of criticism, condemnation, and being rejected, or ostracized, if they decide to be truthful and assertive, about their wants and needs. They are mortally afraid of being DEMANDING, and being seen as UNWOMANLY, because of it. Many women take pains to preserve a Madonna image of being passive, soft-spoken, submissive, gentle, and kind. Women who are conflicted, and who are afraid, in the way I have described, are reluctant to try to change their circumstances, or aim for a better life, based on their own efforts. They are convinced (or have allowed themselves to be convinced) that the way to a better life, is to attract a wealthy man, who will provide for them. They believe the only way to pull this off, is to spend all manner of money and time on looking good, excelling in the home arts, being passive and submissive, and keeping up a superficially pleasant demeanor at all times. In this way, the ideal of the quiet, passive, soft-spoken, submissive, gentle, kind, and undemanding woman is perpetuated, in spite of all the advances women have made. The choices of women like Hilary Clinton and Malala Yusafais, who are brave enough to buck this trend, are frowned at, and looked down upon. They will get scorn and more, for their daring to one, want more for themselves, and two, to approach what they want differently - by speaking up. Why should a woman have to be pleasing, passive, submissive, soft, gentle, kind, and undemanding? Why should a woman have to use people pleasing, guile, and manipulation, to get her way? Why can’t a woman be her authentic self? Why can’t a woman speak up for her needs, just like a man would? If you are a woman, I encourage you to pursue what you want, while being who you are. I hope the poem below gives you courage. Courageous women never look back. Do It Anyway - Women on the Rise Version Men (and women who are afraid to do the things you want to do) may say you are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered for having a non-traditional vision for yourself. Do it anyway. The most important people in your life (your family and relatives) may think you are way out of line and shame you, for wanting something that the community you were born into, the society you were born into, or the religion you were born into, frowns upon. Forgive them for their lack of understanding and do it anyway. If you decide to say something about something that needs talking about, you may be branded as a hater, an ignoramus, and a troublemaker, by popular and powerful people. Use your voice and say the things you need to say anyway. If you are successful in a role and in a field where women are in the minority, many men and women might try to dismiss, discredit, or diminish what you do on both public and private platforms. Continue to blaze a trail in that field anyway. Don't let that unnerve you. If you say things in a forthright way - and without a smile, men (and women who are used to people-pleasing) will call you unpleasant, unappealing, bossy, a shrew, unsexy, lacking in charm, and more. Be honest and frank (and give yourself permission not to smile) anyway. If you want to create or build something that's ambitious and challenging, especially for a woman, you risk enduring excessive public humiliation if you fail. Have big aims and aim to build anyway. If you have found your serenity and happiness making choices that are not typical for your sex, you may be looked upon as a poor role model or a weirdo. Make those choices anyway. As the ending lines of the original "Do It Anyway" Mother Teresa poem say... “Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God. It was never between you and them anyway.”