The Element of Improvement and Its Hope for Mastery in Any Area of Our Lives

Sunset Sky by Anna Langova

Have you ever stopped to think how people at the top stay at the top?

Is it because they have gotten far enough, they can comfortably rest on their laurels?

Here’s what Tiger Woods has to say:

“No matter how good you get you can always get better, and that's the exciting part.”

He also said:

“There’s always stuff to work on. You’re never there.”

If improving is a necessary thing - enabling us to hold on to the success we’ve achieved…

improving is also a cool thing…..enabling us to stretch ourselves and reach for more.

When we stretch ourselves, the reward isn’t just the improvement alone, but the satisfaction of knowing we kicked it up a notch. Yeah!

We can improve in every and any area of our lives.

We can also improve throughout our lives.

Each one of us is forever a diamond in the rough.

Because no matter how much we’ve done...and how much better we have gotten at something...and how much experience we have gained...and how much wiser we’ve become...and how much we’ve grown as people, we will always have unfinished business.

Things which are waiting in the wings for us to master.

Songs we haven’t sung.

Words we haven’t spoken.

Words we haven’t written.

Chords we haven't played

Canvases we haven’t filled.

Dishes we haven't cooked.

Strategies and techniques we haven't applied.

Ideas which haven't been born

Lives we haven’t lived.

In my neighborhood, there was a house in terrible shape.

The house was finally sold in a short sale.

The new owners got it for a bargain price and immediately began transforming it.

When they were done, it was unrecognizable as the rundown house it used to be.

Today, it is one of the nicest houses on the block.

Those who did not see the house before it was transformed do not know how it looked before the new owners had done their magic on it.

The transformed house is a great metaphor for life.

No matter how bad (or even how good) our life is, we can transform it.

We can change our lives for the better.

We can make our lives more satisfying and more special and more meaningful.

Growing up in India, home appliances were a luxury.

The idea of having a Eureka water filter or a vacuum cleaner or TV set was something to aspire to.

When television came to our city, my sister Rosie and I put our money together to buy our family our first TV. 

It was a small black and white TV, but I still remember the pride with which we brought it home and the delight on our parent’s faces.

Later on, I would feel the same pride when I was able to buy my first vacuum cleaner, my first water filter and my first computer.

I have a friend who is from a successful and comfortably well-off family and stands to inherit wealth and property from her parents.

When Tanita was young, I expressed the hope that I should be able to provide for Tanita like my friend’s parents have for her.

But when I shared this with my friend, her reaction was not what I expected.

My friend said no matter how much she stood to inherit from her parents, it would never compensate for her being able build a comfortable life through her own accomplishments. She said it was important for Tanita to be allowed to experience the satisfaction of making a good life for herself.

True to her word, my friend is living by the advice she gave me. She is a self- made woman and has gone from strength to strength in her life. She is definitely someone Sheryl Sandberg and other Lean In advocates would approve of.

One of the things every wealthy parent wants to do is to grow the silver spoon their child was born with.

They think if they do that, they can provide for every event in their child’s life.

This is well-meaning but misplaced.

Because as my friend said, every human being needs to experience the fulfillment that comes from her or his own individual accomplishments.

Besides, it’s impossible to plan for and provide for every eventuality in our children’s lives.

There are just too many variables. Also, there will come a time when they won’t have us to turn to.

Will our children hit bumps in the road?

Sure, they will.

Will they be able to deal with those bumps in the road?

Sure they will.

Will they survive those bumps in the road and come out stronger - just like we did.

Sure they will.

We should, instead, help our children build their survival skills - their judgment, grit, courage, their ability to be street smart, to make good decisions and their ability to improve themselves.

This would be of far more value.

This is how we can improve their chances for a good future.

By modeling the right behaviors for them, sharing our thinking with them, and equipping them to make the right choices.

If we are to model the right behaviors for our children, we should demonstrate a lifelong willingness to learn, to improve and to grow.

Whether utilizing our gifts, pursuing our interests, conquering weaknesses and limitations, bouncing back from setbacks, or developing our minds and bodies, they are looking to us for example.

So let’s be passionate life-long learners.

Let’s become better at cooking, at gardening, at painting, at writing, at all the different things that make up our lives.

Let’s make the most of our abilities and skills.

Let’s overcome our limitations and improve as people, as parents, as children, as friends.

Let’s improve by conquering our fears.

For instance, one of the areas in which we all have a great fear and therefore find it hard to improve is public speaking.

All we have to do is find a Toastmasters club next to us – and we can be on our way to this improvement.

When I joined Toastmasters, I never dreamed I could go on to win awards for speaking, but that’s exactly what happened, as I relate in my post How I Lost a Thousand Dollars On Donuts.

Toastmasters is an inexpensive, convenient and effective way to improve our ability to express ourselves.

Turning Downtime Into Uptime

One of the things that lends itself to improvement is idle time.

Idle time can be life changing.

It can produce the song you’ve never sung.

The symphony you’ve never played.

The poetry you’ve never penned.

During idle time, you are an artist with a blank canvas.

You can fill it with new colors, new textures, new patterns, you can focus on new subjects.

Your imagination is at its most fertile during idle time.

So any seeds you plant are likely to germinate.

When these seeds germinate, it will bring new things to life in your life.

Suddenly you've learned a new language, you are writing a blog, you've taken up gardening or cooking, you've learned meditation, you are pursuing new hobbies, you are volunteering.

We should try to think of things we can do which will challenge us, or put a smile on someone’s face, or put confidence in someone’s step.

I believe great things can come out of idle time – as my post The Element of the Creative Pause and Its Hope for Turning Us Into Idea-Generating Machines indicates. I learned to meditate and started this blog during a spell of idle time.

Start Small. Think Big.

Remember, improvement is not a One Shot Hit The Jackpot kind of thing.

In absolutely any sphere of life, when we start, we are not going to be that great.

We will have to start small.

But it doesn't mean we can't think big.

Because when we do something again and again, as sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, improvement happens.

Improvement is Not the Same As Change

Change for change’s sake is pointless.

Change per se means nothing.

We can change for the better.

We can change for the worse.

Only change for the better is good.

We should aim to change for the better, aiming to improve as people, as a company, as a member of a community, as a society, as a polity, as a country and as human beings.

Why should we change?

Because as Edward de Bono said: “We may have a perfectly adequate way of doing something, but that does not mean there cannot be a better way.” 

The First Step

Every improvement starts by taking the first step.

If you need inspiration to take the first step, read my post The Element of the First Steps and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started in Our Lives.

Finally, old or young, we should improve things which cannot be taken away from us.

Nobody can take away any of the following from us:

Our skills

Our inner strength

Our devotion

Our ability to generate ideas 

Our hope

Our imagination

Our faith

Our memories

Our courage

Our good humor

Our grit

Our discipline

Our determination

Our knowledge

Our humanity

In the example of the improved house at the beginning of this post, no one can take away the satisfaction of knowing how we improved that house and nobody can take away the beautiful memories created there either – even were we to lose the house because of some unfortunate situation.

Improvement begins with I.

As Arnold H Glasgow said "Improvement begins with an I."

What can you start improving today?

What improvement can you make to create a better life for yourself, or to create a better world?

We, each one of us, can make it happen.

We are where it all begins.

Say "Aye".  Or better still, say "I".

As always thanks for reading and have a great day and week….M…..a Pearl-Seeker like you.

The Element of Putting Ourselves On the Line and Its Hope for Accomplishing Things Big and Small

There are times in our lives when we will be called upon to put ourselves on the line.

David did it went he went up against Goliath.

Mahatma Gandhi did it when he went up against the British Raj.

Trevor Blake did it when he wrote 3 Simple Steps - A Map to Success in Business and Life.

Putting yourself on the line may involve going up against a formidable opponent, a formidable challenge, or a formidable goal.

For David, it was going up against a combatant who was larger and armed, and who was a fighter so confident in his skills, he dared the Israelites to send any man to fight him in single combat.

For Mahatma Gandhi, the formidable opponent was the British empire with its impressive array of resources.

For Trevor Blake, the formidable challenge was dealing with his own fears about revealing the intimate details of an early life marked by poverty, debt, family illness and other troubles.

Life is full of tough challenges and goals, as I mention in my post The Element of Imagination and Its Hope for Helping Us Meet Tough Challenges with Compassion and Artful Flair.

But challenges are opportunities.

For David, the challenge of defeating Goliath contained the opportunity to defend the honor of the Israelites and earn the reward promised by Saul.

For Mahatma Gandhi, the challenge of going up against the British Raj contained the opportunity to free India from British yoke.

For Trevor Blake, the challenge of telling his whole story contained the opportunity to release himself from the burdens and secrets of the past and bring hope and encouragement to people who had suffered similar challenges and deprivations.

Yes, within every challenge is contained an opportunity - the opportunity to change not just our own life, but the lives of other people.

Whether we move the needle a little, or whether we move the needle a lot, when we put ourselves on the line, our courage is to be commended.  

When the Pilgrims got on the Mayfair and sailed to America, they put their lives on the line.

In a few days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving, a feast which can be traced to that historic journey.

The country the world knows as the United States of America became a possibility only because of the courage of that first group of people who made for new shores, putting their lives on the line.

When we put ourselves on the line we don’t know where it will lead.

That first band of people did not know their journey would be the start of an idea for a brand new country that would eventually be home to over 300 million people from different parts of the world.

When a butterfly flaps its wings on one side of the world, it can change weather patterns on the other side of the world.

Every person who puts themselves on the line is a butterfly flapping its wings.

The person who decides to start blogging.  

The person who takes a bold new step.

The person who accepts the challenges of being in the limelight – whether a high profile actor or musician, a socialite, a CEO or founder of a company in the news, or a person in government.

Putting oneself on the line is inherently risky.

We do not risk death, disfigurement and disablement as people in dangerous occupations do.

But we do risk failure, indifference, ridicule, humiliation and a reduction in social status for any missteps we make.

In my previous career, I was an advertising copywriter. Before leaving India, I ran my own creative shop Purple Patch and had 6 people working for me.  I experienced an immediate reduction in social status upon immigrating to America.

I risk a further reduction in social status by writing about my challenges with depression, anger, being a tiger mom and my faults and missteps, professional and other.

I do it because I want to live an authentic life on my own terms.

Social status is a drag. On our financial resources, on our time, on our energy, on our freedoms and on our choices.

It is at odds with all of them.

The people living quiet lives in the book The Millionaire Next Door understand this.

They live quietly and unobtrusively, living life as they please, unhampered by considerations of social status. They may not want to be cheap, be loud, wear sweats or burp. But if they feel like doing that, they are able to do so without the whole world writing about it and photographing it.

Out of the limelight, people are free to go about their lives without social pressure.

To do the things we really want to do then may require us to give up our social status. 

As Michael Gates Gill did.  

A high-profile advertising account manager, Michael became a Starbucks barista in his 50s.  He gives an account of his journey in his book How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else.

Don’t be surprised to find yourself craving the same kind of liberation.

A word of caution, however….

We should put ourselves on the line only for something we value.

It’s important to differentiate between value-based actions and valueless actions.

Deciding to stop paying our bills, driving crazy fast in our cars, drinking ourselves silly, doing drugs, sowing wild oats, breaking the law and being irresponsible is pointless and valueless.

Similarly, if I was to rant and rave about my depressive issues, anger issues and professional failures on my blog, what would be the value of that?

It’s the fact I have successfully conquered those issues that is of value and which makes my experience worth sharing with readers.

What values are you prepared to put yourself on the line for?

Don’t worry about the resources

Once your desire is ignited, you will find the resources.

You may find you need much less than you thought you would need.

David’s resource was a simple slingshot and 5 stones.  By angling the slingshot right, he launched the stone at the middle of Goliath’s forehead and struck him down.

Mahatma Gandhi’s resource was just the idea of satyagraha or non-violent protest.

Trevor Blake’s resource was just his memory and his courage to tell his story.

I will end this post with 3 takeaways about putting yourself on the line.

Put yourself on the line only for your values.

Social status is over-rated.

You contain all the resources you need.

Thanks for reading and have a great day and week…….M……a Pearl-Seeker like you. P.S. The butterfly pictured in this post was painted by my friend Julia Kaplan who is the subject of two posts on this blog, most recently, The United States of Friendship Part 8.