How To Say Goodbye

Everyone has their own way. It’s part of our uniqueness.

Say It With Flowers, a Tribute In Writing, or a Speech

When Steve Jobs died, my friend Lakshmi drove to his Palo Alto residence and laid flowers in front of it.

Taken with an iphone by Lakshmi outside Steve's residence

My way of saying goodbye was my post Steve Jobs: A Personal Tribute. 

For Mona Simpson, Steve's biological sister, it was with the memorial speech she delivered at Stanford, which contained these moving lines.....”Even as a feminist, my whole life I’d been waiting for a man to love, who could love me. For decades, I’d thought that man would be my father. When I was 25, I met that man and he was my brother.

The Goodbyes of a Child

The uniqueness with which we say goodbye, starts when we are young.

Here is how a 12 year old Tanita expressed her feelings when her friends Kayla and Missy moved out of our apartment complex...

Goodbye

By Tanita Jha          

Stupid fights

crazy nights

now it’s all gone.

Prankcalling

Eavesdropping

All night long.

Being ourselves

nobody could tell

but we knew it all along.

Then the day came.

The moving truck pulled up

and we said our goodbyes.

A tear streamed down my face

remembering

all the good times.

Now it’s all a memory

but it will always be a

part of me.

There is still one thing to say

Goodbye,

I will think about you every day.

And this is what Tanita wrote when her grandma passed away in 2005. She was 10 at the time...

Grandma

By Tanita Jha

Mom was not there to pick me up

After Girl Scout camp

I was wondering where she was

So I decided to take a chance

When she came to pick me up

My uncle was there.

I jumped into the car,

and asked him  why he was here

He said my grandma was in heaven,

she died three hours ago

I cried and cried and thought,

What a wonderful person she was

One thing’s true…

I will always love her.

How Do You Say Goodbye?

Curious to find out how others said goodbye, I asked my ever eloquent, ever articulate neighbor, Cindy. 

She reached into her grab-bag of poems and came up with 3 answers (Poetry, it appears, is specially suited to goodbyes!)

Since all 3 poems were fabulous and worth sharing, I said,"hmm,why not consider another post on goodbyes"

So folks, that's the plan.

On Wednesday, How To Say Goodbye – Part 2 will feature Cindy's 3 poems where you will learn more ways to say goodbye. Until then...

P.S.  Cindy previously contributed Cindy’s Corner, Letters to Lucas and Medley to my blog (Medley, I'm told, should have been Melody, but I took the title over the phone and messed up - sorry about that,Cindy!).

You A Mosquito in Somebody’s Room!

If you think you don’t have any influence, think again...

Even though you are not aware of it, there are people doing things, or more importantly, not doing things because of you.

I know this because I am forever doing or not doing things because of various people.

I call these people mosquitoes...

That’s because every time I think of their example, it reminds me of that quote –

"Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference has never tried to fall asleep with a mosquito in the room"

Here are a few of the mosquitoes in my life...

Pick Up Your Litter Mosquito

Every time, I accidentally drop some trash, say a piece of paper, and I want to just leave that piece of paper and go on my merry way because my hands are full.....I think of a mosquito who would never do something like that. I usually end up picking up that piece of paper. San Jose is cleaner by a few less dropped pieces of litter thanks to this mosquito.

Finish What’s on Your Plate Mosquito

Every time I am tempted to pile my plate with more food than I can finish, I think of what a mosquito said to me some years ago. We were at Hometown Buffet.  Observing  abandoned plates piled high with leftover stake and chicken and chops around us, a look of sadness crossed the mosquito’s face. She said to me “they would have valued the food if they raised that cow or chicken themselves. They would not be so callous about wastage”. These words come to my mind almost every day.

Do You Really Want to Eat That?

Like everyone else, I am tempted to reach out for food that is overcooked, over-processed or over-sugared. But there's this one mosquito whom, ever since we met, has continuously poured nutritional advice into my ears. Brainwashed by her into good eating, it's almost as if I can't eat bad things without feeling bad about it.

Don’t be So Negative Mosquito

Once upon a time, I was such a darling human being, that for every positive sentence which came out of my mouth, there were two negative ones.  Then a mosquito – a wisp of a mosquito at that – began to call it out by saying “you are so negative!”  After hearing this comment enough times from this wisp of a mosquito, I began to observe myself and slowly but surely became more mindful about my words.

Don’t Hurt the Ones Who Love You Mosquito

A wise mosquito once pointed out to me:  “We hurt the ones who love us the most because we know they will love us and not abandon us no matter what we do; with friends on the other hand, we would think twice about doing the same things because they would just walk away and never see us again.” I do not know how many times I have thought about these words. If at all today, I am less hurtful to those who love me, it’s because of those influential words from that mosquito.

  

These are just a few examples of the mosquitoes in my life.

Of course there are more. In fact, everyone in my life is a mosquito in one way or another.

I just typed examples of what immediately came to mind.

My last post too contains examples of mosquitoes -  Family Advice I Am Grateful For. In it, you will discover mosquitoes from my own family. Starting with the matriarch and ending with the little tyke!

The reason I wrote the last post and the current post...

It's because I want you to know, that like all these other folks - you too are probably a mosquito in somebody’s life.

Don't ever think you are too small, or too unimportant to have an influence. Pssssh!

The Mosquitoes in Order of Their Appearance in This Post:

Pick Up That Litter Mosquito:  Krysia – she’s also the Bigos Boss in my post Our Cake Boss Family

Do You Really Want to Waste That Mosquito:  Nadya – she’s also the Stuffed Bell Peppers Boss in my post Our Cake Boss Family

Do You Really Want to Eat That?:  Julia – she’s the Green Smoothie Boss in my post Our Cake Boss Family, and the star of my post 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned From My Friend Julia

Don’t Be So Negative Mosquito: Tanita –the star of many of my posts including “The She Victories”

Don’t Hurt The Ones You Love Mosquito: Shreekant – one of the southpaws in my post Commonality Explained

P.S. Hope you enjoyed this post.  As always thanks for reading and hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!