A Guide to Dealing With the Sheldon Coopers in Your Life (Particle- 3)

Available on Amazon

Q: How to find something to worry about like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Leonard Hofstadter: I'm just saying that you can't approach this intellectually.
Sheldon Cooper: However do you mean?
Leonard Hofstadter: Remember when you tried to learn how to swim from the internet?
Sheldon Cooper: I did learn how to swim.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, on the floor.
Sheldon Cooper: The skills are transferable. I just have no desire to get in the water.
Leonard Hofstadter: Then why learn how to swim?
Sheldon Cooper: The ice caps are melting, Leonard. In the future, swimming won't be optional.

Q: How to learn to act like a grown-up from Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, do you have any books on how to make friends?
Jeremy: Yes, but they're all for little children.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm sure the skills can be extrapolated and transferred.
Jeremy: They're right over there by the train set.
Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, I love trains!
Jeremy: I'm sure you do.

Q: How to take precautions like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Sheldon Cooper: In case of emergency, the exits are located here, here, and here. If the power goes out, exit routes are indicated in luminescent paint.
Raj Koothrappali: You're kidding.
[Sheldon turns off the lights, revealing glowing arrows on the floor]
Sheldon Cooper: I never kid about safety.

Q: How to guess the answer to a question like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Howard Wolowitz: [after everyone cheers for him and his team design going to space] It gets better! Someone has to go up with the telescope as a payload specialist, and guess who that someone is!
Sheldon Cooper: Mohammed Lee.
[everyone's looking confused]
Howard Wolowitz: Who's Mohammed Lee?
Sheldon Cooper: Mohammed is the most common first name in the world, and Lee the most common surname. As I didn't know the answer, I thought that'd give me a mathematical edge.

Q: How to be suspicious like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Leonard: [Sheldon shakes one of the boxes of the new tenant] What are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm checking for musical instruments.
[Shakes the box again]
Sheldon: Does that sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says "kitchen".
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write "cocaine" on the box?

P.S. 1: Want more? Watch Big Bang Theory - Thursdays at 8:00 p.m.on CBS.

P.S. 2: Don't forget to check back on this blog for Part 4 of this series - A Guide to Dealing With the Sheldon Coopers in Your Life - Particle 4. Also, if you missed Part 1 and 2 of this series, you can read those posts here and here.

P.S. 3:  If you like posts with laughs, you may also enjoy other posts on my blog, including A Short Stint in Advertising and How to Say Goodbye - Part 3.

P.S. 4: As always, thanks for reading. Have a great weekend!

A Guide to Dealing With the Sheldons in Your Life - Particle 2

Available on Amazon

Q: How to add drama to any moment like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Sheldon Cooper: This is an auspicious moment. Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong , we need the appropriate words to mark this scientific landmark event.
Rajesh Koothrappali: How about "Die, toaster, die!"?
Leonard Hofstadter: That'll do it.

Q: How to experience awe like Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Sheldon Cooper: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy! I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall, texting her... Nothing!
Leonard Hofstadter: You tried calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon Cooper: The telephone...!
[pauses]
Sheldon Cooper: No... Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.

Q: How to get a slip past Sheldon...

A: You can’t

Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon has a photographic memory.
Sheldon Cooper: Photographic memory is a misnomer. The correct term is eidetic memory, as I've told you countless times, like in May 7th during lunch. You complained your turkey was dry.

Q: How not to test Sheldon’s patience...

A: You can’t

Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late for the movies.

Q: How to get Sheldon to not opinionate about something...

A: You can’t

Leonard Hofstadter: Hey.
Penny: Hey.
Leonard Hofstadter: We're going to the movies.
Sheldon Cooper: No, we're not. We're suffering through an awkward encounter.


Want more of this...watch Big Bang Theory, the hit CBS show for which Jim Parsons (playing Sheldon Cooper) has won numerous awards, including highest individual achievements in comedy, Favorite TV Comedy Actor, best actor in a comedy show. The show is on Thursdays at 8:00 p.m. on CBS.