The Element of Release from Inhibition and Its Hope for Discovering Our Creative Self

Picture from Elizabeth Winslops’s fantastic blog with writing advice for writers young and not so young – a great resource to get you started

Someone commented to me the other day (you know who you are), “Minoo, I wish I could write a blog”.

My answer to that is if you can write a letter, you can write a blog.

Unlike advertising or journalism, where you may need to pass a copy test, or a writing test of some kind, you can start a blog at any time.

There are no gatekeepers.

There are no judges.

Best of all, there are no repercussions.

So few eyeballs hit unknown blogs, or blogs known in a limited circle (such as mine), you can safely experiment.

Because of the limited eyeballs, messing up is not a big deal.

Don’t like anything you have written - a particular sentence or phrase?

You can delete or change the offending sentence or phrase and hit Update.

The update button means you never have to wallow in writer’s remorse.

You can use it and nobody will know any different.

Those who have read the post are not likely to read it again, and so won't know anything has changed; those yet to read your post will see the new preferred version.

Grammatical boo-boos, spelling boo-boos, factual errors, faux pas (I’ve had a good share of all these – I will tell you about them sometime) – you can correct them all with the Update button.

And if you hate a post, you can delete it altogether. Good to know – in case you ever need that.

Blogging is safe that way.

Of course, the reason you may be hesitant to start a blog is because of your ego.

You are afraid of being laughed at, ridiculed, pooh poohed. 

You are afraid of being silly or boring or pedantic or clumsy or pointless. 

I am afraid of that too, and as my post The Element of Uniqueness and Its Hope for Different Perspectives says, I have to take a deep breath just before I hit the publish button each time I post.

But I go ahead and do it anyway.

If your ego is rearing its head, and you heart is pounding just at the thought of putting something out in print and putting yourself at risk, I know the feeling well.

It’s frightening to put oneself out there - without gatekeeper insurance.

Gatekeeper insurance -what’s that?

Gatekeeper insurance is having someone - an agent, an editor, a publisher, a knowledgeable friend - bless your work.

We think if we write something, it is safe for consumption, only if blessed by one of these people.  If no one has seen it and blessed it, it’s risky.

Who knows how junky it is – if no one has ever read it yet?

Pssh I say.

Unnecessary second guessing! We don’t need to second guess ourselves.

We do too much of that.

We become accustomed to thinking of ourselves one way (and think we are God’s gift to the world on that front) and second guess ourselves in all other areas of life.

This is nonsense.

When I came to America, I had a hard time finding work in advertising. I had to reinvent myself as a Commissions Analyst.

If I had second guessed myself, I might have said, “not me, no-no-no – I don’t know anything about numbers.  I can’t do that.”

Well, I did.

This Commissions Analyst has spent more than a decade dealing with just numbers - hundreds and hundreds of them - on humongous Excel spreadsheets. Recently I upped the ante and became an Xactly and Varicent SPM Consultant.

What if events had happened the other way around?

It’s easy to see Minoo, the Commissions Analyst, going “Copywriting? Not me, no-no-no - don’t know anything about words.  I can’t do that.”

Yes?

So don’t get boxed by the idea of who you are.

Take inspiration from Ajay Sachdev, a guest poster on my blog.

His first career was in advertising client servicing, his second career in stockbroking.

Ajay enjoys writing.  He has never said to himself, “I am a stock-broker - I cannot write”. Ajay has written several posts on my blog. Besides the one on advertising - which is so popular - there’s one on cricket; there’s his post on P G Wodehouse; and there’s his classic Oh Bangalore series, soon to become available as a Kindle book. There's an American Express line, "Don't leave home without it.".  Once Ajay's Oh Bangalore is available on Kindle, an appropriate line would be: "Don't get on a plane to Bangalore without it."

Back to the idea of you starting a blog - you can also take heart from the fact that so many people are blogging already. Just look at the stats:

Tumblr.com  - 101.7 Million blogs– and counting

WordPress.com - 63 Million blogs – and counting

Livejournal - 62.6 million blogs and counting

There is a new blog launched every half a second.

All these new bloggers have taken, or are getting ready to take, the risk you are afraid of.

We make the mistake of thinking if we want to do something new – take up painting, or learn an instrument – we should do so only for the eyes and ears of those closest to us –they would be the only ones who would be appreciative of us.

What if I told you, you are just as likely to be appreciated by someone out in the blogosphere who doesn’t know you at all? Or knows you very little? It’s possible you may even find more appreciation from people who don’t know you. And who don’t have a fixed idea of you.

People close to us are sometimes not able to separate the person from the words. Their past experience of us from what we are saying.

I know for a fact, my friend Cindy’s poems have gone unread by her children. 

And yet, some of these same poems, which are published on my blog, have resonated with strangers who have come across them on my blog, or through pins on Pinterest.  This poem from the post How To Say Goodbye Part 2 has been repinned on Pinterest several times:

UNTIL I’M HOME

By Cindy Pinkston            

I got up with the sun this morning

Turned in my key and packed my bags.

My clothes are tear stained,

And the heels of my shoes are worn down.

My book of wisdom is dog eared

And the pages of my journal cry out

From the weight of black and white silence.

I plan to travel light, to bring only

The things my soul requires:

The currency of hard-earned self-respect,

Sturdy garments spun of sacrifice,

Oils fragrant with the balm of forgiveness.

I will follow my heart’s inclination

It whispers to me now, calling me

I will journey on from here, taking

Note of each bend in the road

Until I know that I am home.

Cindy’s Note: UNTIL I’M HOME was written as “a goodbye to a home and marriage of 16 years”

So write because someone out there in the world may relate to, or be helped and encouraged by what you say.

And write for the time when you won’t be there, and people close to you will be longing to hear your voice in any form.

My mother is more alive to me in her poems than in her pictures. Here’s one of Mum’s poems, in which I can still hear her voice:

Ode to Nat King Cole

O singer with the deep soul-searing voice

From where hast thou this warm sensitivity

This timbre like the subterranean depths

Of crusted earth and green aqueous sea.

The poet sets but words to verse,

The writer ventilates his inner self.

But thou combinest both these graceful arts

And transmits beauty to the hearer’s soul.

Thy songs of love or melancholic mood

Are rendered with passionate appeal,

That all who list must feel if but awhile

The message of the magic symphony.

And here am I, a busy shopping wife

In multi-façade market of the world;

In quest of ribbons, ducks, and Easter eggs;

And lost complete in dull domestic whirl.

But juke-box throb has reached my inner ear,

Your voice has pierced my mundane lingering,

I hurry to the ice-cream bar to catch

At closer range your magic voice

Enrapture, charmed, I drift along,

I’m lost to all the busy market whirl

And buried in the cadence of your song.

Write for the future generations (especially in your family) who will come after you and may never get the chance to meet you.

Let them meet you in print.

Regards how you should write, there’s no need to be self-conscious.

You don’t need to try to come off as anything….

As clever.

Or wise.

Or smooth.

Or humorous.

Just write.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Fun Memories (We've all had our share of those - here's one I shared with you from my life, and here's one Jacinta Correa shared with you from her life)

• My College Days (I love reading about college days because umm...I can only experience them vicariously....read here)

• Adventures on Chennai Roads (4 Lessons Learned from Spinning in the Rain is about a road adventure. You may have a more interesting Jack Kerouac one)

• Book Club Adventures

• Adventures in Match Making

• Marriage Encounters (The Lighter Side of Marriage)

• Thoughts on xxxxx (any topic you would like to share your views on)

• Hopes for the Future of the World

• What I love about…….(one of the people in your life – a sibling, a child, a grandchild, a hero)

• On Being a Father/Grandfather

• On Being a Mother/Grandmother (you can read my posts It's called Motherhood 1 and It's Called Motherhood - 2 for inspiration)

Think of whatever you write as a love letter to those you love.

The book written by my cousin Annette for her dad, on what would have been his 100^th birth anniversary, is an example. 

Remember, all messages will be appreciated in time.

Just like wine, thoughts and ideas needs to age.

I look forward to seeing your first words in print.

P.S. This post was inspired by a comment made by Subhakar.  Thanks, Subhakar for inspiring this post.  Now get writing. That's an order.

P.S. 2: Readers, as always, thanks for reading and have a great day and week…..Minoo

The Element of Signature and Its Hope for Appreciating What’s Unique About Every Human Being

Each of us has a signature.

It could be anything about us –

A mannerism.

A way of talking.

A way of dressing.

A way of entering or leaving a room.

A certain type of humor.

A special dish.

A quirky way of doing something.

A favorite song, dance or catch-phrase.

What we come to be associated with – that is our signature, that is our “special sauce.”

We may want to be all things to all people.

We may get defensive when someone says, “you’re such a Bertie Wooster”, or “do you still wear sweaters all the time?”

But like it or not, there are some things about us which will stick out to everyone.

And rightly so!

If everyone was all things to all people – how boring would that be?

How would any one keep track of everyone else, if we were all Stepford wives and Stepford husbands and Stepford relatives and Stepford friends?

Thankfully, each one of us is unique.

And makes our own special stamp on the world.

Each one of us has our own special way of signing our interactions with the rest of humanity.

Thinking about some of the people in my life – here are some signatures that come to mind...

My friend Ajay Sachdev’s signature: His good-natured humor and Bertie Wooster way of expressing himself. Read his post “A Short Stint in Advertising”, and you'll see what I mean. P.S. A Short Stint in Advertising is a hot favorite post on my blog.

My brother David’s signature: The song Hava Nagila would be one of them. David sings this song whenever our family gets together. You can read all about our family jams in my post Family Songs.

My friend Cindy’s signature?  That would be her cards.  I get cards from Cindy all the time.  Cards for Easter, cards for Christmas, cards for Mother’s Day; cards to thank me; cards to say she is thinking of me; cards to cheer me up. The best thing about these cards are the messages Cindy writes in them. 

Here’s one of them:

Dear Minoo,

I trust all is well with you and Tanita, your family, friends, and the demands of work. (To say nothing of keeping up with your gym work-out, your meditation; and your Blog as well!). You are one busy lady!! To all there is a season, and this is your season of productivity. For me, it is a time of reflection, of significant dreams that play out later in waking times.  Your friend in fun times, Your friend in tough times – Cindy.

Cindy has contributed several posts to my blog.  Favorite posts of readers are Laundry Day, Letters to Lucas and How To Say Goodbye – Part 2.

My brother-in-law Mohamad’s signature:  His biryani.  The magic words which will get people to come to any event are “Mohamad will be cooking biryani”.  Everyone in my family has their own signature dish, of course, and I’ve covered them all in my post “Our Cake Boss Family”

My nephew Vikram’s signature? His imitations. Vikram can imitate anybody.  He is famous for using his imitations to prank call somebody.  Once he made a prank call to me. On this call, he pretended to be a country bumpkin from India who had just come to the US and wanted to marry me.  “I am very good at ironing” is one of the statements I remember “Thomas Pillai” saying.  I was completely fooled by the call and I am sure Vikram enjoyed all the awkward politeness with which I turned down Thomas Pillai’s proposal.

My friend Julia’s signature:  It would have to be her nutrition advice. I shared some of this with you in my post 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia. There’s also Julia's Goldilocks maneuver. Goldilocks maneuver - what’s that?  Well, you will just have to read my post The United States of Friendship – Part 8 to find out, won’t you?

Minoo’s signature?  Aha.  Do you want the 1.0 or the 2.0? Minoo 1.0 racked up a whole host of ahem, shall we say, embarrassing signatures. One such was wearing a sweater come rain, shine or 100+ degree temperatures – as described in my post “How to Become More Unique”. Another was wearing shades day and night for a couple of years.  My signature to those who last saw me like that and lost track of me after might well be “the girl who wore shades at night”. And if you were with me during my early MAA days, perhaps you might remember me as the “the gal who broke into mid-song at her desk, going “won’t you take me to Funky Town?” Ranjan Thomas, are you around?

These are just some examples of signatures.

The point is that each one of us is unique. And each one of us has our own special signature.

A signature we shouldn’t have to keep hidden. A signature that should be cherished.

Because it's what makes us different and special.

When White Hat Security was first started, Christal, one of the finance staff, would sing Happy Birthday to each and every employee who had a birthday.

Singing is Christal’s signature.

And White Hat was the kind of environment that encouraged people to express their signatures

White Hat Security is all grown up now and the practice has ended.

I think something is lost when this happens.

The thing I liked most about my MAA days (captured in Ajay’s post A Short Stint in Advertising) is the fact we could all bring our signatures to work.

If I broke out into “Wont you take me to Funky Town?” , every now and then, it was because the atmosphere was so relaxed; you didn’t feel the need to walk on eggshells – you didn't have to think about whether you should do this or that, not do this or not do that.

In fact, nobody ever said to me “Minoo, stop that” when I used to break into song, and in fact, I was blissfully unaware I was doing it for the longest time.

Companies should cherish each employee’s “secret sauce”.

It would go a long way to make a person feel engaged and connected, if we took the trouble to find out what each employee’s signature is, and to show we cherish and appreciate that signature in some way. 

So here’s to more "Christals singing Happy Birthday" and more Minoo’s breaking into “Won’t you take me to Funky Town” and more Ajay’s saying “Have a good trip” while he sticks out his leg.

3 Cheers for each of us being able to express who we are…..

3 Cheers for our signatures.

P.S. It is my hope that though White Hat Security has grown, the continuity of its CEO and some of the folks there should help the company retain the personal touch that marked its early days. 

P.S. 2: As always thanks for reading and have a great day and week…..one in which you will hopefully have plenty of opportunity to express your own special signature.....Minoo