The United States of Friendship - Part 6 - Val & Kim

Taken from the Pinterest Sweet Potato Pie Recipes To Try Boards

Sweet Potato Pie

Take…

• 4 ounces butter, softened
• 2 cups cooked and mashed sweet potatoes
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 small can (5 ounces, about 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons) evaporated milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 2 prepared pie shells, unbaked

Step 1 - Mix butter, potatoes, sugar and evaporated milk until well blended.

Step 2 - Add vanilla, eggs, and cinnamon

Step 3 - Mix well.

Step 4 - Pour into the prepared pie shells.

Step 5 - Bake in a 350° oven for about 1 hour, until set.

Step 6 – Serve to 3 generations of a family –Mother, daughter and grand-daughter (who is your favorite of them all) as you say “Happy Thanksgiving”

The United States of Friendship Part 6 – Val and Kim

Should you wait to do something?

Or do it right away?

When does delayed gratification make sense?

Say you are thinking about getting a new car, or maybe a new tv, or a new appliance….

Are you better off postponing?

Figuring out if you really want it or need it?

Should you wait till the prices come down?

Set aside money for 6 months of expenses before you do anything else?

What makes sense to you?

How about waiting to get married?

Or to have kids?

Is it better to give yourself time for life’s big decisions?

Is there an ideal age?

Biologically, psychologically, circumstantially…..

What makes sense to you?

How about doing something you’ve always wanted to do - like travelling around the world, or taking up a time-intensive sport or hobby?

Better to do it when you are young, unencumbered, have the physical capacity - no one to answer to about time or money?

What makes sense to you?

How about getting together with family or friends to do something you always talked about doing together? Like a vacation.

Should you put it off for a future time?

When it would be convenient for everyone?

When you’ve reached some arbitrary goal – the launch of 10.0 or something?

What makes sense to you?

I think a lot about this every time I think about my neighbor Valarie.

She and I talked about doing a trip to Hearst Castle together.

The plan was for Valarie, her daughter Kim, my mother, Tanita and I to go together.

Valarie would drive - she had a van.

My mother had arthritis, but wheelchairs were available at Hearst Castle so she could enjoy the Hearst Castle tour with the rest of us.

We talked about whether we would do a day trip.

Or stay overnight.

If we stayed overnight, we could choose the “Accessibly Designed Evening Tour”.

Hearst Castle was something we all looked forward to and talked about.

Hearst Castle is located in San Simeon.

So every now and then, I would jump on the internet and check out everything San Simeon had to offer.

But I knew even if we had time only for the Castle, it would be an experience to remember.

We would get to see how William Randolph Hearst, the famous media mogul, and grandfather of Patty Hearst, lived.

(Patty Hearst –because of the news media’s propensity to televise sensational news – is perhaps even more well-known than her grandfather to lay people all over the world.)

Now as I write this post, I think about that trip to Hearst Castle with Valarie.

Because we never got around to doing it!

We often lack imagination about the future.

When we were making plans for Hearst Castle, my mother was still a sprightly 73.

Despite arthritis and several other chronic ailments, she actively participated in and enjoyed all the activities Tanita and I were involved in.

Even Great America and Gilroy Gardens.

It was hard to imagine she would pass just a few years later.

Still harder to imagine that less than 3 years after Mummy was gone, Valarie would be gone too, succumbing to an illness that would take her from our lives.

I was frankly quite shocked at the speed with which Valarie went from being the busy vibrant, church chaplain I knew her to be, out and about and interested in everyone and everything, to being home-bound and confined to bed; and then equally quickly, gone.

Even seeing her sick, knowing what I knew, her passing came as a shock.

Valarie was still Valarie, the very last time I saw her – full of her unique brand of Valarie- spunk and Valarie opinions – you couldn’t take that away from her, even when she was confined to a hospital bed in her home.

We never made it to Hearst Castle.

But I am glad for all the places Valarie, Kim and my family did make it to.

Like Cathedral of Faith (especially the Easter and Christmas services).

Oakridge Mall.

Cheesecake Factory.

And the movies and dinner on Tanita’s birthday.

A few weeks before Tanita’s birthday one year, Valarie announced “Tanita, as a birthday gift, we are going to a movie and dinner. So tell your mum to pick a day and you and her pick a movie. Make sure it’s PG, though, because you know Aunty Valarie only sees PG rated movies”.

And this is how we went to see Princess Diaries, a movie which remains one of Tanita’s favorites even today.

After the movie, the 5 of us, Val, Kim, Mummy, Tanita and I went to Mandarin Gourmet for dinner.

It was our first time at Mandarin Gourmet, a restaurant famous for its exceptional lunch special values and speedy and courteous service.

Mandarin Gourmet is one of Tanita’s favorite restaurants even today; she especially likes their Honey Walnut Shrimp.

Valarie introduced Tanita to Honey Walnut Shrimp.

Valarie introduced Tanita to braids.

And Valarie introduced Tanita to church.

Just as Tanita barged into our neighbor Steve’s life, she barged into Valarie’s life and asked to go to church with her and Kim.

It was the beginning of a weekly routine which would last for many years.

Every Sunday and every Wednesday, Valarie and Kim would faithfully take Tanita to Cathedral of Faith.

Of course they would spoil her with treats as well.

Treats which ranged from Happy Meals to new clothes to doing her hair.

From when she was very young, Tanita loved it when anyone did her hair.

Many would have a go at Tanita’s hair - from her Aunt Ann - to her neighborhood playmate Kayla - to her high-school classmate Hannah.

Kayla’s experiments would terrify me, because being so young herself, Tanita would sometimes come home with something dreadful which I would want to undo immediately. (Of course Tanita wouldn’t let me!)

But Kim, Valarie’s daughter had a talent for hair, and she did Tanita’s hair many more times and in many more ways, and did it well.

She would French-braid Tanita’s hair (Tanita’s favorite).

Or curl it (Her second favorite).

Or put it in a bun.

Kim would also give Tanita French manicures.

The French manicures would send Tanita over the moon.

Kim had only to say the words “French Manicure” and Tanita would drop everything she was doing and run over to Val and Kim’s apartment. Sometimes, if Kim had the energy, she would even let a friend or two accompany Tanita , so they could all get Kim’s famous French Manicures.

Valarie was an excellent cook.

Enticing smells regularly wafted from her apartment to ours.

And one Thanksgiving, she sent over a piece of sweet potato pie which was divine.

When Valarie passed away, Kim asked if we would speak at her Memorial. 

Tanita gave a moving speech about all Valarie had meant to her.

One of the last memories Tanita had of Valarie is this one….

I had asked Valarie if Tanita could stay in her house after school on the days I went into work.

Valarie, in spite of being sick and confined to bed, readily agreed.

One day, when Tanita was over at her place, Valarie asked Tanita what she would like to eat. 

Typically, Tanita would eat the tv dinner or can of Chef Boyardee I had left for her at Valarie’s.

“Would you like McDonalds?” asked Valarie.

  

“McDonalds!” exclaimed Tanita, “how can we go to McDonalds, Aunty Valarie?”

Valarie had never been out of her apartment, except on a stretcher, for months and months.

“C’mon, child, let’s go,” said Valarie.

And saying that, Valarie got out of bed, got her walker, and set off with Tanita to the Mcdonalds next to our apartment, which, a short sprint for a healthy person, would have been a marathon for her that day.

This is one of Tanita’s last memories of “Aunty Valarie”.

A precious one.

Thank you Valarie.

Thank you Kim.

For all the good times and joy you brought Mummy, Tanita and myself.

We were blessed to have you as our neighbors.

As I sit here, writing this post, I think about that trip to Hearst Castle.

And wonder how it might have been.

Dear Reader - thanks for reading and hope to see you next week when there will be another installment of the United States of Friendship….. I hope this post gets you thinking about what can wait in your life and what can’t. I leave you with that thought today……..M, a Pearl-Seeker like you.