Sunday, December 29, 2013

U-Hoo!

2014 Calendar by Piotr Siedlecki


You were meant to take first steps in a bold new direction and make waves. 

You were meant to use your imagination in new ways.

You were meant to understand humility is love, humiliation is anger and challenge is opportunity.

You were meant to choose a vision based on your priorities.

You were meant to delight with your uniqueness– there being only one of you.

You were meant to love and be loved.  I love you.

You were meant to live life on many dimensions and understand that serendipity will be a part of it.

You were meant to appreciate that everything is potentially a gift, sometimes this gift is time.

You were meant to grow into the person you are ultimately destined to be. And to give yourself a lifetime of chances to do it.

You were meant to slip through the shackles of your fears and inhibitions to pursue what you are afraid of and think is beyond you.

You were meant for the burst of energy that comes from a passionate purpose.

Have you heard of The Paradoxical Commandments? You were meant to live by them, maybe.  Mother Teresa did. They were written by a college sophomore.

You were meant to accept wisdom from any source – understanding wisdom is timeless and ageless.  The Parables were uttered by a man in his 20’s.  The Four Noble Truths by a Man in his early 30’s, the Koran by a man in his early 40’s.

You were meant for the mindfulness that comes from growing wisdom.

You were meant to look at each New Year as a new emergence from the womb of life and to feel its newness course through your veins.

Every day is a chance to live a new day.  As we usher in a new year, let us remind ourselves of the unlimited choices we have.

According to the Chinese Horoscope, 2014 is the Year of the Horse.  But we can declare 2014 to be whatever we want it to be.  We could declare it The Year of Human Potential.  Tell everybody you know 2014 is the Year of Human Potential.  You may ask, “Minoo, how is The Year of Human Potential going to happen? Who is going to do anything about it?”. The answer is in the headline of this post: U-hoo! You – that’s who!

As always thanks for reading and have a great day.  And oh yes, when the ball drops at midnight on December 31,2013, don’t forget to think of me. I’ve made up a rhyme to help you remember:

Drink hot coffee (Starbucks or Madras coffee)
Drink hot tea (Green, Orange, Black, Chamomile)
Watch the ball drop (in Times Square of course).
And don’t forget to think of me!

Just kidding.  Wishing each and every one of you a great 2014.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Element of the “It’s Christmas” Perspective and Its Hope for Extending The Cheer All Year Round



Christmas is a time for the “It’s Christmas” perspective.

We say “It’s Christmas” and we pray or go to a service.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we summon up the energy to cook Christmas treats and distribute them to friends, neighbors and acquaintances.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we give people time extra time off to enjoy the season with their families.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we put on special performances and shows to entertain people.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we spend hours shopping for gifts.

We say, It’s Christmas” and we write and send off cards and packages, spending oodles of time at our desks or at the post office.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we drive or travel miles to celebrate with someone we love.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we lend a helping hand to those who need one.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we let bygones be bygones.

We say, “It’s Christmas” and we put aside our differences.

Hearts and souls are opened at this time every year… because …..it’s Christmas”

My wish for you this Christmas is for you to experience the “It’s Christmas” spirit all year round in 2014.

Whether the sun is out – or the sun is not out …..

Whether it is extremely cold – or extremely hot…..

Whether things are going swell – or not so swell….

Whether you are at the top of your game – or at the bottom of your game….

May 2014 be the year you look at the big picture.

All year round, may you….

Respond with an open heart instead of a closed heart.

Be connected with your spirit.

Forgive and forget.

Look for the silver lining.

Find the energy to reach out.

Stretch yourself.

And enjoy the abundance that is your life.

Merry Christmas. 

P.S. Thanks To Ron, Subhakar, Ajay and others for their feedback on The Element of Life As a Journey and its Hope for Enjoying The Voyage and the Stops. Much appreciated.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

The Element of Life As a Journey and its Hope for Enjoying The Voyage and the Stops



There is no set point in our lives.

Whatever we are at one point in our lives, we can be completely different people at another point in our lives.

We will take some of who we are through the journey of our lives.

We will leave some of who we are behind.

And some parts of ourselves we won’t be able to take with us…..we may not have the choice.

This is the dynamic of life….

…. continuous addition, subtraction, and replacement - until we can add and subtract and replace no more.

We add skills.

We sometimes have to adapt our skills to a new reality.

We may have to let go of what has become irrelevant, redundant, or meaningless in our lives, or which is not ours to hold anymore.

It could be letting go of treasured creations, as one of my friends did. My post "The Element of A Sense of Purpose and Its Hope for Giving Us Unflagging Energy" tells you more.

It could be letting go of anger.

Anger is something I hard a hard time with, but was able to mostly eliminate from my life. I explain how that happened in How Many Times A Day Do You Visit Ireland? and The Path To Change.

It could be becoming a less difficult person to deal with.



The fears and reservations holding us back from the

…. words we want to write

…. the songs we want to sing

…. the new choices we want to make for ourselves

It could be letting go of a false fixed concept of ourself.

When we let go of our false fixed concepts of ourself, and what we think is our place in life, and our role, and our image, we are free to add anything.

When I came to America, I literally had nothing to lose.

I could not get a job in advertising, and I was a nobody.

I was free to add anything to my life.

I fact, it was what I needed to do, to survive.

I added new skills, and new attitudes.

I learned to drive.

I learned to cook.

I learned to do laundry.

I learned to look after my daughter myself, without a “baby ayah”.

And I learned how to do new work – involving numbers, calculations, and Microsoft Excel.

I first got these essential things rolling.

Then I started getting bolder.

I decided to see if I could do my taxes myself.

Every year, I used to go to H&R Block, a tax accounting company, to do my taxes.

I was afraid of do them myself, because I did not know jack about taxes.

In 2003, I decided to see if I could use internet resources, to learn what I needed to know about taxes.

I discovered I could do my taxes online, with a program called Turbo Tax.

I found out that I could model my taxes for free on Turbo Tax, and pay only when I filed my taxes. 

This enabled me to go to H&R Block to do my taxes, and compare H&R's calculations with my own Turbo Tax tax calculations.  When they matched, I knew I was good to do my taxes the following year on my own, using Turbo Tax.

So from 2004 on, that's what I did.  And I am proud to say that I taught 4 other people how to do their taxes using Turbo Tax that same year.

Letting Go of the Greatest Fear on Earth

I then set out to conquer the greatest fear on earth.  No it’s not the fear of germs, sorry germophobes, or the fear of heights.

It's the fear of public speaking, or speaking to a roomful of people.

How I did this was by joining Toastmasters, which offers almost free public-speaking training to people, through their over 14,000 clubs in 148 countries of the world.  (Check - there's probably a Toastmasters club close to where you live).

I wrote and gave 12 different speeches over a year at Toastmasters, to complete what's called The Competent Toastmaster program. I won 2 awards as well.

It gave me enough speaking confidence to create a 6 hour 3 session Money Workshop for Kids, which I gave to 30 students in an elementary school near my house.

Letting Go of Being Tiger Mom and Helicopter Mom

As parents, we want to conduct every moment of our child’s life.  We feel if we are not on the job, our children will fail, and become irresponsible. 

Our own image of ourselves as someone who has it all together – super parent, super professional, super friend, super sister, super child, super whatever…. is wrapped up in all of this.

But it is a losing battle.

I discovered that every child has a desire to individuate themselves from their parents and I was powerless to stop it.

The acceptance that I was just imperfect ole me, doing the best I can, but powerless to stop the individuation – was the best thing that could happen.

When I let go, I gave room for my child's natural diligence to surface - the diligence that comes with autonomy.  The diligence that comes with trust and responsibility. It kicked in almost immediately after I let go.

Before I knew it, my daughter was playing on the school golf team, she was in ASB, she was taking multiple AP classes, she had landed herself a steady job – all without any prodding from me.

So I am sure glad I said goodbye to my Tiger Mom/Helicopter Mom days when I did, even if Hippie Mom brought its own set of challenges.

Is This As Good As It Gets?

Have I added all there is to add?

I don’t think so.

As new additions enrich my life, such as blogging; learning to meditate; learning to deal with blows to my self-esteem; experiencing connectedness in all sorts of ways; I am sure there’s more to come.

And I am determined to enjoy the new sights and stops on the journey.

As I have gotten older, the things I need to lead a fulfilled life, have changed.

I need companionship, not excitement.

I enjoy intimate conversations over parties.

I value time and autonomy and freedom and quiet time over money and status and authority and fine things and a full calendar.

When I look back, my greatest victory is not Purple Patch, but conquering my anger issues.

My greatest joy is my emotional stability, not buying my first car.

Yes, there is no set point in our lives.

Because of all the wonderful things that have been added, subtracted and replaced in my life, I can confidently say to you….

I know you will do it.

I know you will get it.

I know it will happen.

New things are on the horizon.

Because you and I are – and will always be – a becoming!

As always thanks for reading and have a great day and week….M ……a Pearl Seeker like you.  P.S. Thanks to Ann and others for their insightful comments on my last post. Much Appreciated!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Element of A Sense of Purpose and Its Hope for Giving Us Unflagging Energy




Beach Sand Construction by Andrew Schmidt
When we talk of energy, we think of gas for our cars, or solar, or nuclear power, or coal power.

We worry about running out of fossil fuels.

We worry about the dangers of nuclear power.

We worry about the environmental impacts of burning coal.

We worry about all the wood from the trees being used up for fires.

We worry about everything under the sun.

Of course, we don’t do anything about it. We do not use our cars less. Or burn less firewood.

We think it is someone else’s problem to solve all this.

Also, we want to have our cake and eat it too when it comes to anything in life.

The best form of energy is actually human energy.

Human energy is such that even a small human being can be a powerhouse and move mountains.

Mahatma Gandhi was a small man.

He was short, he was thin (almost skeletal) and he had no muscles.

He was the opposite of an Arnold Schwarzenegger.

He had no martial arts abilities.

He was the opposite of a Bruce Lee.

He had no military training and did not know how to use any arms.

He was the opposite of a Tecumseh.

What Mahatma Gandhi had was human energy.

The force of human will linked to a larger purpose.

This is the most powerful energy in the world.

It is energy in which the normal constraints don’t apply.

We come home from our work day and say “I’m pooped”.

Some of us flop down in front of the tv and nod off.

We get through school, take up a job, we earn money, we get married, we raise a family, we hold our place in society as employed, productive people.

But for most of us, getting through the 8 hours of a typical work day is too much.

We need Starbucks coffee and Red Bull and 5-hour Energy to keep going, while we read Tim Ferris and sigh.

Our energy flags easily.

But when we have a sense of purpose, normal constraints don’t apply.

Our sense of purpose gives us energy.

We find ourselves prepared to go days and nights, even sacrifice evenings and weekends.

Having “a sense of purpose” can make us wake up to every day with excitement, anticipation and energy.

It’s the antidote to tiredness.

The purpose may be attending a hobby, bettering our best, learning something new, achieving a higher level at something, conquering a hard to kick habit, or getting involved in a social or political cause.

Our chosen field of work can also give us a sense of purpose.

Entrepreneurs are blessed in this regard.  While for the rest of us, working is a social and economic necessity and a compulsion, entrepreneurs do what they really want to do – the income and status and other rewards, physical and psychological being merely byproducts of following their dream.

This is why entrepreneurs are able to work harder than the rest of us. You lucky dog, Elon Musk, you, you.

But anything can give us a sense of purpose - even something outside of our 8-5 hours.

Working on bettering an area of our lives may give us a sense of purpose.

Exploring something new may give us a sense of purpose.

A desire to help someone or to create change may give us a sense of purpose.

The more sense of purpose the activity has for us - the higher will be our energy, and the higher will be our motivation to find the time, ideas, money, and resources for it.

People get surprised when I tell them my blog posts take about 8 hours to write on average.

My goodness! That’s a lot, Minoo. That’s like a whole day of work! How do you do it?”

I am highly motivated, because blogging gives me a great sense of purpose.

I feel renewed every time I write my blog.

I feel I am doing something purposeful.

When people comment on a post, as Ajay and Uday and Ananda and Subhakar and Rosie and Badri did last week, this sense of purpose is heightened.

Truthfully speaking, my blog is play to me. I am like a child on the beach with my bucket and spade, scooping up treasures from the sand – only the treasures I scoop are not pebbles and shells, but philosophical treasures – sudden insights, idea flashes, thoughts of different colors. 

Writing satisfies me so much, after writing a post, I feel a sense of fulfillment - like someone feels after a job well done, after completing a hard task, achieving a high game score, or achieving an important milestone in trying to kick a habit.

Learning to meditate and conquering my anger issues also give me a great sense of purpose.  And I always have the energy for them.

A child on the beach builds sand castles.  I build sand castles too. In my post, The Element of the First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, I came up with the suggestion of One Wall. One Wall is one of my sand castles.   I know sand castles are blown away by air and water.  (Water and air are powerful – the Grand Canyon was sculpted by water and air). But when you have a sense of purpose, it’s the journey that matters. “It’s the process, not the destination” as my nephew Vikram will say.

My blog is about a becoming and an evolution. I evolve every week, and the blog evolves with me.

As we evolve, our sense of purpose evolves.

I have a friend I have known for a long time.

In her 20's and 30's, she was famous for painting nudes. Her house had giant canvases of nudes wherever you looked.

My friend’ sense of purpose at that time was related to expressing herself through writing, art, music and clothes.

As she got older, my friend was drawn to spiritual, contemplative and service activities.  This is where she found a sense of purpose.   

Now a practicing Buddhist, her daily rituals are dominated by putting herself at the service of the Buddhist nuns - she sweeps the temple floor, cleans the temple bathrooms, she prays, she meditates.

You will never believe what she did with those treasured paintings of nudes. She used them all up as firewood.There was no place in her new life for them.

We all know someone like my friend. 

People whose sense of purpose was materially or creatively oriented at one time, but is spiritually oriented now.

The journey will be different for each of us.

Some people will start out creative, artistic, but become more inward focused and service oriented as they get older.

For others, the opposite will apply.

Having spent their lives dealing with the practical realities of getting through school, working a job, getting married and providing for and raising a family, now as empty-nesters, free of responsibilities, they might be drawn to explore their creative, artistic and inventive sides.   

This is what gives them their sense of purpose now.

Remember as our sense of purpose evolves, everything we touch and create will evolve.

As we evolve in our thoughts about food, our cooking and eating will evolve.

As we evolve in our thoughts about nature and the environment, our gardening and handling of natural resources will evolve.

As we evolve in our mental and emotional habits, our interactions with people and handling of situations will evolve.

In all the areas in which we have a sense of purpose, this will apply.

The creation of the wonderful and marvelous Iphone reflects the sense of purpose and consciousness of its creator Steve Jobs.

The story of India winning its independence from the British Raj reflects the sense of purpose of the peace-loving man who led it - Mahatma Gandhi.

It is exciting when we have a sense of purpose.

We may have to undertake a lot of different things.

Find money for the purpose.

Find time for the purpose – especially if we have responsibilities.

Find physical, mental and emotional space for the purpose.

Find the right strategy for the purpose - even giving up “my way or the highway” as needed.

But all these are captivating chores, when we have a sense of purpose.

Also, it doesn’t matter whether we live to see the purpose achieved.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton never lived to see American women be able to vote, the cause she had dedicated her life to.

President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated within 2 years of signing the Emancipation Proclamation. 

Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King lost their lives without seeing the full harvest of their work.

But all these people were indefatigable to the very end.

Their sense of purpose gave them unflagging energy.

Find your purpose.

That unsung song.

Those unread books.

Those unwritten or unsaid words.

That untilled soil.

That road you've never taken.

Fulfillment begins when you are able to say "YES THIS IS MY PURPOSE".

It is important not to postpone activities that could give you a sense of purpose.

We will never know we had it in us, if we continue to do the same circular things day in and day out, no matter how much prestige or money they might bring.

I shudder to think I might not have started writing this blog – it means so much to me.

If you have a hard time deciding on your purpose, rely on your intuition.

Albert Einstein said,"the intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."

Follow Einstein's lead. Let intuition will be your guide. 

Go Find Your Purpose 

Write these words somewhere.


"Go Find Your Purpose"

Write them on your hand:

"Go Find Your Purpose"

Write them on a blackboard:

"Go Find Your Purpose"

Print them and put them under a glass on your desk:

"Go Find Your Purpose"

Write them on your whiteboard:

"Go Find Your Purpose"

Carve them on a tree:

"Go Find Your Purpose"

Go Find Your Purpose, My Friend. 

GFYP.

Dear Reader – I hope this post will help you get connected to a meaningful purpose and to discover the energy you never thought you had. As always, thanks for reading and have a great day and week…..M…..a Pearl Seeker like you. Oh yes, do read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren – if you are finding it hard getting unstuck.