You Are Standing At The Crossroads Of 2 Paths...

The sign pointing one way says Uncomfortable Path.

The sign pointing the other way says Comfortable Path.

Which one do you take?

412 B. C. Diogenes takes the uncomfortable path. He gives up all his possessions to live in a bath-tub in a street square. Read about his story here.

399 B. C. Socrates takes the uncomfortable path. He is convicted of the crime of impiety to the gods and sentenced to die by drinking hemlock. His disciples urge him to go into hiding. But he chooses to accept his fate. He believes it is right and just to abide by the decision of the Athenian court.

A.D. 5 and on: Christian martyrs, start taking the uncomfortable path. The first is St. Stephen. He allows himself to be stoned to death, rather than give up his faith, or stop professing his spiritual beliefs.

1478-1535 Sir Thomas More takes the uncomfortable path. King Henry asks Sir Thomas to recognize him as the Head of the Church, and to accept King Henry’s divorce of Catherine of Aragon as legal. Sir Thomas More refuses and pays the price with his life. King Henry convicts Sir Thomas More of treason and beheads him.

1809-1865 Abraham Lincoln takes the uncomfortable path. He opposes the efforts of several southern states to secede from the union in response to federal efforts to prohibit slavery in the territories yet to become states. It was an extreme test of courage and commitment. But he is unwavering until the insurrection is quelled and the Emancipation Proclamation goes into effect. As we all know, he paid for it with his life soon after.

1815-1902 Elizabeth Cady Stanton takes the uncomfortable path. She makes it her life’s mission to fight for American women to have voting rights. And she never gives up till the day she dies. Thanks to her efforts, and the efforts of other unwavering people like her, the 19^th Amendment is passed in 1920. American women enjoy the right to vote after that day.

1817-1862 Thoreau takes the uncomfortable path. He decides to go into the woods for over 2 years and live entirely off the land.

1869 – 1948 Mahatma Gandhi takes the uncomfortable path. He decides to lead the fight for India's independence from the British Raj. Even more remarkable, he chooses to do this through Satyagraha – an extremely uncomfortable path. India achieves independence in 1947 thanks to his leadership.

1918–2013 Nelson Mandela takes the uncomfortable path. He makes it his life’s mission to oppose South African apartheid. He is sentenced to a 27 year prison sentence for his anti-government activities, but nothing will stop him.

1929–1968 Martin Luther King Jr. takes the uncomfortable path. He decides to lead the civil rights movement. Thanks to his efforts, and his vision of equality for all people, equal rights for blacks become a reality.

What is it that makes us take the uncomfortable path?

Is it because as humans, we are driven to become greater versions of ourselves?

I think the answer is yes.

We are meant to be inspired, to evolve and to grow, and to create new realities.

We are meant to create more courageous realities, more creative realities, more authentic realities, more expansive realities, and more visionary realities – realities in alignment with who we are, what we believe in, and the better world we dream of.

Even in the limited sphere of our own personal life, we are called to become greater versions of ourselves - and to pursue more courageous realities, more creative realities, more authentic realities, more expansive realities, and more visionary realities - usually achieved by taking a more uncomfortable path.

What uncomfortable paths are you called to take – which could ultimately result in you becoming a greater version of yourself?

I give you some examples from my own life…

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I took the plunge into entrepreneurship by starting my own creative shop Purple Patch.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to move to America with my 11 month old child.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I said yes to my first job in commissions administration, a job for which I was not qualified by training or experience.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to become a freelancing consultant 8 years ago.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to give up my Tiger Mom and Helicopter Mom ways and become a Hippy Mom (now firmly on her way to becoming a Lighthouse Mom).

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to start this blog.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to share some uncomfortable things about my personal history on this blog.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to go without health insurance.

I was called to take the uncomfortable path when I decided to become more authentic with the people in my life, and to tell it like it is.

You are standing at the crossroads of 2 paths.

The sign pointing one way says Uncomfortable Path.

The sign pointing the other way says Comfortable Path.

Which one will you take?

I will leave you with the perfect question for this moment in time – when you and I are standing at the brink of a brand New Year.

2019.

May it be the year in which you find the strength to choose the path that will lead you to a more courageous, more creative, more authentic, more expansive, and ultimately more abundant version of yourself.

Bad Minoo. Because Bad Santa Is For The Movies

"Santa….I need to talk to you about a problem" said Rudolph.

"Problem…..what problem…. Is it your nose….I thought you were over it".

Rudolph shook his head.

"Are any of the reindeer acting up?"

Rudolph shook his head.

"Then, what's up Rudy? Don't be afraid to come out and say it."

"Well, I have this idea and I can't get it out of my head" said Rudolph.

"Let's hear it, Rudy" said Santa.

"What some people need for Christmas..." started Rudolph.

"I'm listening" said Santa.

"What some people really need for Christmas…."

"Go on, Rudy" said Santa.

"What some people really need for Christmas is a…is a…is a…is a kick in the pants."

Santa almost fell off the stool he was sitting on.

"A kick in the pants? Why Rudy, that's the strangest idea. I've never heard anything like it in my life!"

"I knew it was crazy" said Rudolph, "let's just forget about it, Santa."

"Maybe if you tell me why you think this is a good idea?" said Santa in an encouraging voice.

"Well,"said Rudolph,"what I was thinking is that what some people want more than anything else for Christmas is an assurance 2019 will not be a repeat of 2018, or the things they didn't like about 2018."

“…..and these people who don't want 2019 to be a repeat of 2018, I think what they need is a kick in the pants."

"A kick in the pants can do that?" said Santa.

"Like this?" asked Santa, trying to kick one of his legs as high as he could. "I don't think I can kick that high."

"Well, actually I was thinking if we could have some else deliver the kick in the pants, then you won't have to be the bad person".

"Bad Santa, ha ha, yes, that would be exceedingly bad for my resume and Linkedin profile" laughed Santa.

"But who do you have in mind? I'm curious,"Santa continued.

"A blogger called Minoo Jha" said Rudolph.

"She can do that?" asked Santa.

"She can do that, and moreover, she would be more than willing and happy to do it" said Rudolph.

"Wow, you have it all figured out " said Santa.

"So what do you think?" said Rudy. "Can I ask Minoo Jha to do this?"

Santa twisted his mustache, "Well Rudy, if what some people need is for 2019 not to be a repeat of 2018, and a kick in the pants will make that happen, and you have this Minoo Jha lined up to do it, you have my full support."

"Thank you Santa" said Rudolph, "I promise you it's the best Christmas gift these people can get. I will inform Minoo Jha to get going on this."

And with that, the conversation between Rudolph and Santa ended.

And Minoo's challenge began.

First things first, dear reader….if you are happy with the way things went in 2018, you don't have to read any further.  You can stop reading right here.

But if you are not happy with the way things went in 2018, and if you want to make sure 2019 is not a repeat of 2018, I am here to deliver you a kick in the pants.

Warning - what I am going to say may not be the words you want to hear.

But after giving some thought as to how best to deliver you a kick in the pants, here's what I have concluded...

If you want to make 2019 different from 2018, there is only one person who can give you a kick in the pants.

And that person is Y-O-U.

Yes, You.

YOU.

Or, if you prefer me to write it text message style, I can do that too..."U".

Only you can do something to make your life different in 2019.

Deal with neglected issues?

Only you can do it.

Get into the best shape you've ever been?

Only you can do it.

Make critical changes in your work or personal life?

Only you can do it.

Make critical changes in how you've been using your mind, or your body?

Only you can do it.

Turn wasted moments into life-giving moments?

Only you can do it.

Transmute the coal of your losses into diamonds of mission mindfulness?

Only you can do it.

Go from seeking inspiration to being an inspiration.

Only you can do it.

Make money an interesting rather than a challenging problem?

Only you can do it.

Kick a destructive habit way out of your life?

Only you can do it.

Starting from where you are, you can make your life altogether more satisfying in 2019.

You can change your picture of life to be in alignment with you are, and what you want your life to look like.

Start building the picture of what you want your life to look like.

Keep that picture in front of you.

Your picture of 2019 is significantly different from your picture of 2018, is this true?

Now are you ready to take meaningful action to create it?

…Serious, "I'm getting down to business" action.

Not half-serious, wink, wink…I'll get to it later action.

Reaction is not action. You with me?

Vague ideas, thoughts, and hopes are not action, either. You with me?

Action is concrete steps and activities.

You will use concrete steps and activities to create your 2019 life.

What you need is a 2019 calendar.

Here are the steps:

Step 1: Sit down with a 2019 calendar.

Step 2: Enter your key goal (or goals) for 2019 in the December 31 box on the calendar.

Enter the goals that are most important to you, and the areas you want to impact the most.

If you don't have time for everything, pick the goal which matters to you most.

Step 3: Fill up the months in the 2019 calendar with different steps and activities which can impact your goal.

Spend a lot of time on Step 3.

You want to fill up as many boxes as you can - in as many days of each month on the calendar.

Step 4: Hang the calendar in a prominent place. Or use a calendar on your phone. Use reminders and alarms to keep you on track.

Step 5: As you complete an activity or step which is on your calendar, circle it with a red or green pen to mark that you’ve accomplished it.

That's it.

Follow these 5 steps, and I promise you, at the end of 2019, 2019 will look nothing like 2018.

Let's say, you have a fitness goal for 2019.

Enter the fitness goal in the December 31 box - be as specific as you can.

Then write the word "gym" or "yoga" or "swim" or "zumba" on 4 -5 days of every week on the calendar, starting with the month of January - and going through all the months until December 31, 2019.

When you complete an activity, circle it with a green or red pen.

At the end of 2019, if you have a lot of green or red circles, not only will 2019 look nothing like 2018 to you, you will look nothing like the way you looked in 2018 either. I promise you.

There's your kick in the pants.

…From Santa, from Rudolph, and from me.

You're welcome!

Merry Christmas and Happy 2019!

Strike that.

Merry Christmas and a Kick In the Pants 2019.

Yes, I think that's what Rudolph and Santa would have liked me to say.

A selection of my previous Christmas posts. The Day The New Ruj Das Began was so cathartic for me, I cried even re-reading it just now:

Advice From A Retired Elf to An Aspiring Elf

The Day The New Ruj Das Began

A Christmas Tradition Is Restored

Maybe It's Time For A Miracle

Christmas On My Mind

The Element of the “It’s Christmas” Perspective and Its Hope for Extending The Cheer All Year Round

Dear Santa

Look Who’s Stocking Now

Do you want to do better in 2019 than you did in 2018?

Don’t let any of the 3 things listed below hold you back.

Blaming someone or something

This weekend, I watched Gary Vaynerchuk on You Tube.  He is the complete opposite of a blamer. Instead of blaming others for anything that happens to him, Gary Vaynerchuk blames himself. He even blames himself for things which are clearly not his fault.  “If I have an accident, I say to myself ‘I should have left the house 2 hours earlier’, he says.

This is one of the reasons for Gary Vaynerchuk’s success and more importantly, for his optimism and enthusiasm for life.

Why does being the opposite of a blamer, and accepting full responsibility for the events in your life work?

You become a problem solver instead of a whiner and complainer. That’s why.

Good things happen when you stop thinking of yourself as poor me. You transform from a victim to a victor.

Where do you fall on the blaming scale?

Don’t let the tendency to blame something or someone hold you back from your potential in 2019.

Filling up your time with non-productive activities

If you have a goal, lay out the steps to reach that goal. Talking dreams and not doing dreams will get you nowhere.

What are the steps you have laid out?

You had a goal for 2018 - a better relationship with your family, or more stability, or better health, or a better paying job. But you didn’t lay out any steps. 2019 doesn't need to be a repeat of 2018. Here's an idea for you...

Buy a calendar to use specifically for your goal (or goals) and enter your goal (or goals) in the December 31 box on the calendar.

Then fill in different dates of the calendar with activities you can do that will get you to your goal.

Then as you complete each activity, circle it with a red or green pen.

When December 31 rolls round, you will have the satisfaction of seeing those green and red circles - the satisfaction of knowing you took all those steps and did all those activities and went for your dreams, even if you are short of your goal.

If your goal is to kick a bad habit or develop a good one, then write your goal on the December 31 block of your 2019 calendar, and mark milestones to accomplish from January through December.

For example, if your goal is to reduce smoking, you can enter a milestone of 2 less smokes by Jan 20, 3 less smokes by Feb 20 and so on.

If your goal is a fitness goal, you can enter that you walk so many miles a week by Jan 20, and so many miles a week by Feb 20, and so on.

Don’t forget to circle the milestones you’ve accomplished with a red or green pen.

Even if you haven’t quite reached your goal by December 31, at the very least, you would have demonstrated your perseverance to yourself - which will be a huge confidence booster to make even more strides in the future.

Yes I will bet you, you will gain a whole lot of satisfaction and motivation for 2020 just by looking at all those red and green circles on your 2019 calendar. It will get you pumped for the next year.

Regards whether you should opt for a paper calendar, or a calendar on your phone, I think a physical calendar is the way to go.  Put it in a prominent place where you can see it, and others can see it too – and it will be harder to ignore – the choice is up to you.

Getting stuck on an idea you have about yourself

Have you been unable to make a change because you are stuck on an idea you have about yourself? I have had all sorts of ideas about myself I had to give up in order to go forward.  The idea I was a words person and not a numbers person was one of them. The idea I would never be able to drive was another one of them.

What idea do you have about yourself that you need to shake? Is it that you have been a “bad person”, and you find it hard to see yourself as a “good person”? Is it that you think you are a loser and find it hard to see yourself as a winner? Is it that you made some mistakes and you think it’s all over for you? I know the feeling of thinking it is all over for you. When I suffered my depression, I thought it was all over for me. It was such an awful truth to confront, because it was at the height of my success as an advertising copywriter. And it took a while for me to believe I would get past it, but I did.

We have to believe things can get better. We have to believe things can change. And most importantly, we have to believe we have the power to make things better.

What idea of yourself are you stuck on, which makes it hard to believe that things can get better?

You definitely can shake that idea, if you give yourself a chance.

At the very least, you can try the calendar exercise I suggested and see what comes of it.

Good luck.  I'll be cheering for you.

Related post:

Maybe it's time to turn the page.

I am not a doctor, but this I know...

Walking is good medicine.

Getting enough sleep is good medicine.

Yoga is good medicine.

Eating in moderation & eating right is good medicine.

Healthy relationships are good medicine.

Doing some cardio and some resistance training is good medicine.

Pets are good medicine.

Friendships are good medicine.

Avoiding debt is good medicine.

Nature is good medicine.

Learning something new is good medicine.

Losing weight (if you need to) is good medicine.

Keeping your blood sugar down is good medicine.

Forgiveness and making amends is good medicine.

Kicking a bad habit is good medicine.

Being grateful is good medicine

Having a purpose or a mission is good medicine.

Getting involved in a beneficial, useful and valuable service is good medicine.

Christmas is coming.  I would like to wish you a blessed Christmas season, and to urge you to help yourself to one or more of the medicines in this post, which are a good cure for the naughty and a good fortification for the nice. Dual purpose.  That's what they are. Also, think about I may have left out and feel free to recommend additions to this special Christmas Apothecary List.  I didn't check it twice.

So what are you waiting for? Maybe it is time to take a nice big fat helping of one of them?

As always, thanks for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life,  and have a great day and week….M ……a Pearl Seeker like you.  Like you I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

Thanks to everyone who has shared, re-tweeted, liked, smiley-faced,high fived and commented on my posts. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

I would like to say Happy Birthday to all those with December birthdays.  Hope you use your birthday month to enjoy generous helpings of the medicine I have recommended. What better month than December to do that. A new year will be upon us soon. You want to be in full form for it. Step into 2019 with a new confidence.

The Blank Page

A new manager called one of his staff to his office and said:  “Can you prepare a list of the unidentified failures for the new device we are launching? Please bring it back to me in 30 minutes.”

In 5 minutes, the staffer was back. He handed the manager a blank sheet of paper.

“What’s this?” asked the manager.

“The list of unidentified failures you asked for” said the staffer.

“But there’s nothing on it” said the new manager.

“Exactly” said the staffer, “All failures have already been identified and tackled before you came on board.  There are no unidentified failures that I know of. If you think of any, let us know – we’ll be glad to test those.”

A blank sheet of paper can represent a lot.

In this story, it represents quality – you start with a list of defects and issues; this list probably grows longer and longer as issues come to light; eventually, as each issue is found and addressed, less and less issues should come to light - until you are left with a blank sheet of paper.

A blank sheet of paper is a powerful tool.

In fact, it may be the only tool you need.

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said to you “List the things about your job situation or life circumstances that you like” how much of the blank sheet of paper would you be able to fill?

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List the things you could do to make your spouse happy”, how much of the blank sheet of paper would you be able to fill?

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List some of the positive things your child has heard you say recently”, how much of the paper would you be able to fill?

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List all the good things you are doing for your health” how much of the paper would you be able to fill?

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List all the things you did in 2018 which you are proud of” how much of the paper would you be able to fill?

If I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List the ways you grew as a person in 2018” how much of the paper would you be able to fill?

Finally, if I gave you a blank sheet of paper and said “List the things you can do in 2019 to improve your life” what would you write?

Spend time with a blank sheet of paper – it could put you on the path to improved health, improved wealth, improved relationships, and higher life satisfaction.

Here's some additional help from previous posts to get you going with your blank sheet of paper...

First I recommend you read this to caffeinate your motivation to improve:

Maybe It’s Time You Turn The Page

Then I recommend you read some of the posts listed below to help you reflect and come up with ideas of your own for improvement in different areas of your life:

Jump starting your personal growth:

I can think of at least 10 situations which I turned into growth opportunities since Jan 1. How about you?

Improving the way you deal with problems:

How To Live A Good Life – Part 9:

See problems as puzzles to be solved

Don't see problems as something to ignore. Nor should you see them as something to complain about, or to feel hopeless about

The Element of Seeing All Problems as Puzzles and Its Hope for becoming Master Solvers

Turning the page on poor communication:

How To Live A Good Life – Part 11:

Move towards healthy communication.

Move away from unhealthy communication.

Bringing more meaning into your life:

How To Live A Good Life – Part 10:

Make more time for things that matter.

Make less time for things that don’t.

As always, thanks for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

Thanks to everyone who has shared, re-tweeted, liked or commented on my posts. You keep me going.

Happy Birthday to all those with December birthdays.  Hope you use your birthday month to turn a page in your life you’ve been meaning to turn. What better month than December for any of us to start thinking about that? A new year will be upon us soon. Let’s do the things we filled our blank sheets of paper with. And then when December 2019 rolls round, let’s celebrate having done that!  What a trip that will be, yes? Yes? Yes? Yes?