Do you want to do better in 2019 than you did in 2018?

Don’t let any of the 3 things listed below hold you back.

Blaming someone or something

This weekend, I watched Gary Vaynerchuk on You Tube.  He is the complete opposite of a blamer. Instead of blaming others for anything that happens to him, Gary Vaynerchuk blames himself. He even blames himself for things which are clearly not his fault.  “If I have an accident, I say to myself ‘I should have left the house 2 hours earlier’, he says.

This is one of the reasons for Gary Vaynerchuk’s success and more importantly, for his optimism and enthusiasm for life.

Why does being the opposite of a blamer, and accepting full responsibility for the events in your life work?

You become a problem solver instead of a whiner and complainer. That’s why.

Good things happen when you stop thinking of yourself as poor me. You transform from a victim to a victor.

Where do you fall on the blaming scale?

Don’t let the tendency to blame something or someone hold you back from your potential in 2019.

Filling up your time with non-productive activities

If you have a goal, lay out the steps to reach that goal. Talking dreams and not doing dreams will get you nowhere.

What are the steps you have laid out?

You had a goal for 2018 - a better relationship with your family, or more stability, or better health, or a better paying job. But you didn’t lay out any steps. 2019 doesn't need to be a repeat of 2018. Here's an idea for you...

Buy a calendar to use specifically for your goal (or goals) and enter your goal (or goals) in the December 31 box on the calendar.

Then fill in different dates of the calendar with activities you can do that will get you to your goal.

Then as you complete each activity, circle it with a red or green pen.

When December 31 rolls round, you will have the satisfaction of seeing those green and red circles - the satisfaction of knowing you took all those steps and did all those activities and went for your dreams, even if you are short of your goal.

If your goal is to kick a bad habit or develop a good one, then write your goal on the December 31 block of your 2019 calendar, and mark milestones to accomplish from January through December.

For example, if your goal is to reduce smoking, you can enter a milestone of 2 less smokes by Jan 20, 3 less smokes by Feb 20 and so on.

If your goal is a fitness goal, you can enter that you walk so many miles a week by Jan 20, and so many miles a week by Feb 20, and so on.

Don’t forget to circle the milestones you’ve accomplished with a red or green pen.

Even if you haven’t quite reached your goal by December 31, at the very least, you would have demonstrated your perseverance to yourself - which will be a huge confidence booster to make even more strides in the future.

Yes I will bet you, you will gain a whole lot of satisfaction and motivation for 2020 just by looking at all those red and green circles on your 2019 calendar. It will get you pumped for the next year.

Regards whether you should opt for a paper calendar, or a calendar on your phone, I think a physical calendar is the way to go.  Put it in a prominent place where you can see it, and others can see it too – and it will be harder to ignore – the choice is up to you.

Getting stuck on an idea you have about yourself

Have you been unable to make a change because you are stuck on an idea you have about yourself? I have had all sorts of ideas about myself I had to give up in order to go forward.  The idea I was a words person and not a numbers person was one of them. The idea I would never be able to drive was another one of them.

What idea do you have about yourself that you need to shake? Is it that you have been a “bad person”, and you find it hard to see yourself as a “good person”? Is it that you think you are a loser and find it hard to see yourself as a winner? Is it that you made some mistakes and you think it’s all over for you? I know the feeling of thinking it is all over for you. When I suffered my depression, I thought it was all over for me. It was such an awful truth to confront, because it was at the height of my success as an advertising copywriter. And it took a while for me to believe I would get past it, but I did.

We have to believe things can get better. We have to believe things can change. And most importantly, we have to believe we have the power to make things better.

What idea of yourself are you stuck on, which makes it hard to believe that things can get better?

You definitely can shake that idea, if you give yourself a chance.

At the very least, you can try the calendar exercise I suggested and see what comes of it.

Good luck.  I'll be cheering for you.

Related post:

Maybe it's time to turn the page.