How To Live A Good Life - Part 9

See problems as puzzles to be solved.

Don't see problems as something to ignore.

Nor should you see problems as something to complain about, moan and groan about, or to throw money, emotional energy, angst and sleepless nights, fretting and fuming at.

If you want to live a better life, start seeing all problems as puzzles to be solved, rather than monsters over which you have no control.

Learn to ask questions.

Learn to seek solutions.

Learn to put on your thinking hat, and tackle the problem.

Don't let it grow and become a bigger problem.

You should do this, even if you find the problem embarrassing.

Don't suffer in private, because you can't risk someone knowing you have a problem.

Don't let the problem get worse and worse in secret.

Don't let a small problem grow into a giant problem.

Get help as soon as you can.

Find out who can help you.

Find out what steps you can take.

Find out how others have overcome the problem.

You can be too private for your own good.

When I first got depressed, I decided to stay quiet about it.

I didn't want to risk my image.

Everyone thought I was a person who had it all.

I didn't want to blow this image.

I wanted keep my image intact.

It was such that my image mattered more than the truth.

My image mattered more than my suffering.

My image mattered more than the reality of my life.

The reality was I was not myself emotionally.

I was waking up every morning and bursting into tears.

But I didn't want anyone to know that.

I couldn't bear the idea.

All I cared about was “my image”.

My image was that of a “successful advertising consultant who had it all - money, success, a happy marriage.”

On the whisper circuit, I was rumored to be "the best paid advertising copywriter in the city".

I desperately wanted to keep the image going.

Even at the risk of becoming more and more of a basket case.

I kept my depression secret for months and months.

I hoped it would just vanish.

It had mysteriously come on.

I hoped it would just as mysteriously go away.

Except…it didn't.

I finally picked up the courage to speak up and tell someone.

One day, I got up in the morning and burst into tears.

But on this day, I called a friend and told her.

I said, "……(her name), I don't know what is happening.  Every morning I wake up and start crying."

She said, "It's a clinical depression, Minoo. I had it some years ago". "I will give you the name and phone number of a psychiatrist," she added.

I shuddered at the words "psychiatrist".

There are some problems no one likes to admit to - a financial problem, an addiction problem, a hoarding problem, an embarrassing cosmetic problem, a weight problem, sexually related illnesses, a marital problem.

A mental health problem is in that category.

It is hard to admit to.

But I was relieved after I spoke up.

The very first person I talked to had been through what I was going through, and was able to point me in the direction of a solution.

You know how my depression story turned out.

I covered it in a post I wrote a few posts ago, and in my post If Life Is So Good, Why Do I Feel So Sad?

I was successfully able to resolve it and get past it.

How can anything be solved if you keep it under wraps?

Whatever the problem, you have a better chance if you seek help and look for solutions.

You should look at every problem in your life as a puzzle to be solved.

By seeking answers and solutions, ideas will come to you, and you will discover things you can try.

My 2nd car is an older car.

When I bought it, I heard some noises coming from under the hood.

I took it to a mechanic who diagnosed I had a leaking rack and pinion.

He told me I could repair it for $1000, which was the price I had paid for the car when I bought it.

I wondered what to do.

Tanita,my daughter, had a friend who worked at a car mechanic shop - and we asked him for his advice.

He said if we kept the power steering fluid filled, we could keep going without doing the $1000 repair.

By asking someone, we were able to find this workable solution.

What problem are you facing today?

You would be wise not to ignore it.

You would be wise not to minimize it.

You would be wise not to let it whirl around and around in your head, without doing anything about it.

Even if you are uncomfortable - you need to talk about it, and get some inputs and strategies.

Find someone and share your problem with them.

The worst that will happen is they will say they can't help – because they don't have any expertise or resources in that area.

But they may point you to people and resources that can be of help to you. You may need professional help, like I did.

So take out a piece of paper.

First thing you should do is write down what your problem is.

Then make a list of the things you can do about it.

Make a list of people you can talk to, and other ways to get information.

And after you have talked to people, and done your research, pick a solution and start putting it to work.

If the first solution doesn't work, try another.

If that doesn't work, try another.

This is how, sooner or later, you will make strides towards resolving your problem.

Even problems you have had for years and years.

A friend of mine told me what inspired her to become so interested in, and inspired by, nutrition.

She had eczema as a child.

Her parents had taken her to doctor after doctor, and they had tried treatment after treatment.

Nothing worked.

When she was in her early twenties, she decided to radically change her diet.

She started eating raw foods instead of processed foods.

Her eczema went away.

Her eczema had been a constant companion all of her childhood and teenage years, but she was able to find a solution in her 20s.

What problem has been a constant companion all your life?

See it as a puzzle to be solved.

Don't see it as something to ignore.

And don't see it as a hopeless case either.

Problems are not there to give us things to complain about, moan and groan about, or throw money, emotional energy, angst and sleepless nights, at.

Problems are there to help us grow.

I don't know about you, but I love growing, so I am going to say, "Bring it on" to problems.

How about you?

I hope you will too.

Acknowledgements:

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on Part 1 through 8 of this series. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning and a better life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with September birthdays. I hope you will use your birthday month to start looking at problems as puzzles. Put on your thinking hat and start communicating, so you can tap into ideas and solutions for your problems, you may not be aware of now.

To all my readers, have a blessed “growing through successfully tackling problems week, and see you next week.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me,Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family,BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health

Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories

Changing in Good Ways

Maybe Its Time To Become More Receptive, Maybe It’s Time To Live More Purposefully, Maybe It’s Time To Bust Some Myths, Maybe It’s Time to Walk In The Direction Of Your Fears, Maybe It’s Time To Understand What Freedom Is, Maybe It’s Time To Turn the Page, Maybe It’s Time To Rock The World, Maybe It’s Time For Freshness