Life Strategies - For those with one hand tied behind their back: How To Live A Good Life

Make more time for the things that matter.

Make less time for the things that don’t.

Fall is almost here.

Soon the green leaves on the trees will turn yellow, then brown, then fall to the ground.

Then the temperatures will quickly drop, and winter will be upon us.

This year was a year of newness for me.

After 2 years of consulting in commissions administration for Fortinet, I went to LinkedIn, then Rubrik, then back to LinkedIn, and now I am already on my next assignment, my fourth for this year.

This year was also a year, in which I decided to make time for the things that matter.

My sister Angie and her husband died in January, and I made time to go to their memorial in Madison, Wisconsin.

We had already had a farewell for Angie in the Bay Area, but when friends of Angie and Jim urged me to come to the memorial they were holding in April for Jim and Angie, I decided to go.

And I decided to make it as meaningful as possible.

So I read a poem I had written for Angie and Jim to the dear friends of Angie and Jim who were at the memorial.

And I asked one of them to spend the next day with me, and take me to Angie’s favorite haunts in Madison.

I commemorated this day in my post Angie I Will Remember For You.

This year was to bring us sadness and joy in equal measure.

The sadness was Angie and Jim’s untimely passing.

The joy was my brother David’s daughter’s wedding.

Tanita and I traveled to Washington DC to attend Jasmin’s wedding to Joey – a charming wedding which was an amazing experience.

I did other things this year.

Like volunteering to create and conduct a quiz at the NCMA (Northern California Mangalorean Association) Spring and Fall events.

This required me to make time for internet research.

I had to find material for the quiz – which was to be based on Mangalorean Catholic history, culture and traditions.

It was a rewarding exercise.

I learned so much about Mangalorean Catholic culture, history and traditions.

I then went on a hunt to find the right prizes.

Eventually I settled on caps, which were economical, and would also be good for the heat.

A friend - who also belongs to NCMA – painted an NCMA logo and a small cashew emblem on the caps, cashews being symbolic of Mangalore.

The quiz went well.

I divided everyone into 5 teams of 11 people each.

The winning team all got caps.

I felt I had done something meaningful for the NCMA with the quiz.

Since I had prepared 6 rounds of questions, but there was time only for two rounds, I saved the remaining questions and used them to conduct a quiz at the NCMA Monthi Fest, which took place Sunday before last.

If the quiz was not as much of a success the second time round, it was because the questions were too hard. They were not common-knowledge questions.

But as a way of bringing long-forgotten history and traditions to mind, it was definitely worth it.

Make more time for things that matter.

Make less time for things that don’t.

To make more time for things that matter, you have to spend your money wisely and well, and set aside money for things that matter.

I t cost money to go to Madison, Wisconsin for the memorial, and to go to Fredericksburg, Virginia for my niece's wedding.

You must always have a special kitty of money on hand to spend on things that matter.

Follow Dave Ramsey’s envelope system, if you are not good with money.

Dave Ramsey has helped thousands of people become debt-free, and have the money to spend on things that matter through his Financial Peace University.

Fortunately, not all things that matter require money.

Walking, one of my favorite things to do does not require money.

It requires me to make time for it, and it requires me to look after my health.

Looking after one’s health becomes the number one priority as the years go by.

Poor health will come not only between us and our work, it will come between us and the activities we enjoy and want to participate in.

Other things can come between us and what matters.

Relationships which are so precious and matter plenty to us, require us to pay attention to what matters.

What matters is different in every relationship.

In general, one sided relationships do not work.

Also, if you test a relationship again and again by saying or doing the wrong things, then the relationship may become so strained, eventually the person you have the relationship with will walk away.

So the important thing to work on is whatever is causing you to test the relationship, whether it’s an addiction problem, an anger management problem, a dependency problem, an insecurity problem, a negativity problem, or just wanting to be in control.

Don’t try to manipulate or bully your way into people’s hearts.

It rarely works, and even if it does, it will not work forever.

Give more than you take.

Give without any strings attached.

A manipulative person operates with strings.

Don’t be that kind of person.

Make more time for the things that matter.

Make less time for the things that don’t.

This is the advice I would like to leave you with today.

Acknowledgements:

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on Part 1 through 9 of this series. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning, and a better life. Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out: to those with September birthdays. I hope you will use your birthday month to make time for the things that matter most. Remember, you cannot do that consistently or effectively, if you are not in your full senses, or you do not look after your health, or you do not manage your money properly. Any obstacles in those areas must be tackled first. It’s just a question of getting around to it, even if you have made a habit of not getting around to it so far. Get going. There isn’t a minute to waste.

To all my readers, have a blessed “doing good for yourself while doing good for others week, and see you next week.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships