The ‘Porki” and “Bonkers” Tradition

The Wedding Souvenir - A Kite from India

At a recent family wedding, in giving her toast, the sister-in-law of the bride joked about how the bride often used endearing names to address the groom rather than his actual name. 

‘Bonkers’ and ‘Porki’ were mentioned. 

The sis-in-law said the bride’s brother, much like his sister, was given to addressing her with various unpredictable and unfathomable names of endearment, rather than by her name.

When I heard this, my heart did a little jig (as I am sure my siblings’ hearts did too) – since it confirmed that a long-standing family tradition was alive and well. 

Indeed, calling loved ones by quirky invented names is a cherished family tradition of ours.

You can almost call it a family trait.

Each one of us has our birth names – the ones we were christened with.

But we also have at least one or more other names by which we have been called at one point or the other (I believe I have the dubious distinction of being called by the most number of names.)

Anyhow, I thought it might be fun to do a show and tell on these names. (If the same thing goes on in your family as ours, I am sure you will be able to relate.)

But first... a warning. Don’t try to make sense of these names.

Because the invention process is haphazard.

Not only does it appear that the button is always turned to ‘On” on the invention machine, but the letters of the English language are used like play-dough.

So even if you are a determined sort - like the decipherers of the Egyptian hieroglyphics, or like our cousin Audrey, who is leaving no stone unturned to put together the family tree – be prepared to come up empty-handed trying to get to the bottom of any of these names.

If you must ask, ask Chris or Angy, who are blessed with the sharpest memories and can be trusted to give you reasonable explanations. Rosie and Mohammed, I am not so sure. After a lifetime of getting my fingers burned, I can tell you Ro and Mo are incapable of giving you a serious answer to anything, even a harmless question like “Where’s the bath-room?” or “What’s in this curry?”

Caveats declared, here we go...the mystifying ‘other’ names we are otherwise known by...

Bubbles – another name for the one who spends her waking day making people open their mouths and say “Aah”

Pepti-Ascom  - another name for the one who has been writing warm poetry in one of the coldest of places. You can link to one of her poems here.

Boozy – another name for the one who has been both a student and a principal of a management school.

Rozaizins – another name for the one who spent many years picking up a telephone and saying “Good Morning.  Thank you for calling ASP”, which probably accounts for the repressed humor coming out in full force now.

Mintakoots – another name for the one who can never hope to get a job at Google because of daring ditties like “A tooter who tooted the flute”. You can read about the fiasco here.

Davuksha – another name for the one who knows the A to Z of the shipping and container business, and also Hava Nagila. You can read about his penchant for Hava Nagila here.

P.S.  If your family is given to inventing names, we’d love to hear them.  Even if they are downright embarrassing or silly!  I am sure your lot couldn’t be as bad as Tanita’s. By virtue of having me as a mother, she has had to learn to keep up with all sorts of endearments that may or may not bear any resemblance to her name and are often invented at the drop of a hat and changed at the drop of a hat as well. Right now, the panoply includes ‘Tandu-Bindi’ , ‘Shipeekish’,  ‘My Bujgee’, ‘Tanu’  and ‘Taneeeeeda’. BTW, Tanita begged me not to publish these names.  She said her social life would end if I did.  I told her this was part of a diabolical scheme to have her all to myself. Hee! Hee!

P.S. 2:  I am happy to report the invention machine is humming away in Bangalore. Our Bangalore plant recently produced “Muniyandi”.  Way to go, Bangalore!

           

         P.S. 3: It is open to debate whether this family trait came down the matriarchal or patriarchal side of the family.  Maybe we need to ask Chomu, Vantu, Sunbun &  Poppett what they think. 

           

       P.S. 4:  If you want to read other tell-all posts about our family, here’s a link to Family Songs, No Need for 23 and me, and Bow Wow. Woof Woof. Meowww!  - a breathlessly excited conversation between our family pets about Anita Saran.  Anita Saran will do that – to humans and pets alike.