No Need for 23andme...

...to know there's poetry in them genes!

23andme for those who don't know is the Bay Area company that does personal DNA profiles.

How it works is as follows:

You send them your spit in the mail. Yes you actually spit into a tube they send you, enclose this in a specimen bag and drop it in your mail-box.

Then when your spit gets to 23andme, they use their marvelous and wonderful technology, a mouthful called single-nucleotide polymorphism (SNP) genotyping to analyze that precious spit bomb and produce a complete DNA profile of you.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

Yes, except that the results may devastate you.

Because you may find out you are not who you think you are when your 23andme DNA ancestry profile hits your e-mail box.

Nookie With A Bandersnatch

I know of a xenophobic Borogove, for example, who found out from his 23andme DNA profile that he was not 100% Borogove after all.

There was a dash (actually, a whole 15% dollop) of  Bandersnatch in  him as well.

He was crushed.

He told me he has not been able to look at the fading barely-there sepia pictures that dot the family tree he so lovingly created on Ancestry.com in the same way ever since.

Now when he casts his eye on the pictures of his Borogove ancestors, he wonders which of those innocent and upright looking people did nookie with a Bandersnatch.

And made of him, this 85% Borogove -15% Bandersnatch hodge-podge.

A Borogove-Bandersnatch.

Of course, there's no need to find out about the ancestral dirty linen, since 23andme offers you a choice of DNA profiles.

The Ancestry profile
The Health profile
The Ancestry plus Health profile

So if you decide you'd rather not know about the antics (English for nakras) of your forbears, it's simple.

Opt for just the health profile.

Or not.

Now I don't know about you, but finding out that I have the markers, mutations and what not for arthritis, diabetes, hypertension, cancer and all those other lovely conditions that keep Pfizer, Merck, Roche and the other pharmaceutical companies in business (not to mention the Health Insurers) is hardly my idea of a good time.

So every time I think about ordering a 23andme DNA profile (usually when I need to spit), I have second thoughts soon after.

Who wants to change their middle name as a result of reading a DNA profile?

Minoo Hypochondria Jha.

Doesn't sound too good.

So while I have this "should I, should I not" thing going with 23andme (which by the way is not for the faint of heart nor for the faint of pocket), I thought I might dwell on some positive family traits and talents which don't require spitting or 23andme's sophisticated technology to confirm.

Writing being one of those traits that sticks out.

The urge to express oneself through the written word can be found in every generation of our family.

It gives me great pleasure to present poetic evidence of this below.

Autumn Reverie 

Autumn Reverie was penned by my mother,who wrote and wrote up until almost her dying day.

(Mumsy Wumsy, I hope you and the angels are reading this in Heaven).

This is the season of monastic calm,
When trees have donned the brown of friar's cape
When evening hush falls swiftly into night
And somber peace envelopes each landscape

And now the breeze has great momentum
And weans away the red, brown, golden leaves
Which falling, carpet all the earth beneath
To burn at length in amber-colored sheaves.

Now is a tang of chillness in the air
Which interjects the warm serenity
Now whistles in the shivering mountain pines
The wind descending from the higher hills.

O soul! This is thy time of reckoning
Of taking into stock thy myriad deeds
Of placing on the scale so cruelly precise
Thy acts of good, thy succumbings to vice.

This is the time of silent self-retreat
For passive, speechless meditation
Ere winter fling on all its supine garb
And vivify our thoughts of hibernation.

Om Tat Sat

This poem, a tribute to Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass, was penned by my much loved and looked-up-to second oldest sister Angie, who is a Madison poet and lecturer, and has written poetry and lectured on it both in India and the US.

The poem, originally written to be read to patients in an alternative medicine meditative setting, ultimately found its way into print in Western Medical Journal.

Om Tat Sat

And now at last,

We have toiled from dawn to dawn

To find the answers in medicinal ways,

To find the cures

Through paths of pain

And journey into time's artery

We have wrapped the wounds

And watched them slowly heal,

Re-skin themselves to seal

Gradually

With words and thoughts of comforting

And often dropping to the ground

Like falling fruit

We have picked and preserved

to revive

to turn new leaves

in the serenity and tranquility of grasses yet to come. 

Perfect Girl

And this poem was written by the love of my life and the light in my eye, my little girl. She was 11 when she wrote this.

I know I'm not a perfect girl who's
always sweet and nice.
I know I'm not the best to come to for advice.
I try to please my family and
my friends too.  I try to finish everything I do.
I am what I am and you can't
change that.  So don't tell me I'm skinny
or fat.
Growing up is hard, it changes
everything.  Keep faith in God and be nice to everyone and thing.
They say it's just a phase, which is not easy to go through.
There are so many changes and so much to do.
But then you have that one person that you can tell everything to, and in the end that one person could be a reflection of you.
What can I say?  I'm just a kid growing up fast,
and when it is the future, I'll look back to my past.
I'll remember all the crazy things I did and do...
and I'll realize it's what makes you, you!

P.S.  I hope you enjoyed reading these poems from my family as much as I enjoyed sharing them with you. If you want to uncover your family and health secrets through the innovative technologies of 23andme, you can link to their website here.  If you need to create your family tree on Ancestry.com before you do that, you can link to their website here.  If you like human genome poetry (yes it exists), you can read Gillian K Ferguson's pennings here.

Ferguson has also written poems on the experience of conceiving, carrying and delivering a baby.  The book featured on left contains these poems.

The Amazon product description reads thus: For many women -- and men -- the natural cycle of conception, pregnancy, and birth is the most intense experience they will have in their lives. In Baby, award-winning poet Gillian K. Ferguson draws on her own pregnancy to chart the intense emotions aroused by the "everyday miracle" of creating new life.

Before I end this post, I would like to give a shout out to all the 2011 babies who are on the way. Welcome. We're glad you will be joining us soon. And oh yes, we'll have pen and ink ready for you (or at the very least a cellphone keyboard!)