The Element of Signature and Its Hope for Appreciating What’s Unique About Every Human Being

Each of us has a signature.

It could be anything about us –

A mannerism.

A way of talking.

A way of dressing.

A way of entering or leaving a room.

A certain type of humor.

A special dish.

A quirky way of doing something.

A favorite song, dance or catch-phrase.

What we come to be associated with – that is our signature, that is our “special sauce.”

We may want to be all things to all people.

We may get defensive when someone says, “you’re such a Bertie Wooster”, or “do you still wear sweaters all the time?”

But like it or not, there are some things about us which will stick out to everyone.

And rightly so!

If everyone was all things to all people – how boring would that be?

How would any one keep track of everyone else, if we were all Stepford wives and Stepford husbands and Stepford relatives and Stepford friends?

Thankfully, each one of us is unique.

And makes our own special stamp on the world.

Each one of us has our own special way of signing our interactions with the rest of humanity.

Thinking about some of the people in my life – here are some signatures that come to mind...

My friend Ajay Sachdev’s signature: His good-natured humor and Bertie Wooster way of expressing himself. Read his post “A Short Stint in Advertising”, and you'll see what I mean. P.S. A Short Stint in Advertising is a hot favorite post on my blog.

My brother David’s signature: The song Hava Nagila would be one of them. David sings this song whenever our family gets together. You can read all about our family jams in my post Family Songs.

My friend Cindy’s signature?  That would be her cards.  I get cards from Cindy all the time.  Cards for Easter, cards for Christmas, cards for Mother’s Day; cards to thank me; cards to say she is thinking of me; cards to cheer me up. The best thing about these cards are the messages Cindy writes in them. 

Here’s one of them:

Dear Minoo,

I trust all is well with you and Tanita, your family, friends, and the demands of work. (To say nothing of keeping up with your gym work-out, your meditation; and your Blog as well!). You are one busy lady!! To all there is a season, and this is your season of productivity. For me, it is a time of reflection, of significant dreams that play out later in waking times.  Your friend in fun times, Your friend in tough times – Cindy.

Cindy has contributed several posts to my blog.  Favorite posts of readers are Laundry Day, Letters to Lucas and How To Say Goodbye – Part 2.

My brother-in-law Mohamad’s signature:  His biryani.  The magic words which will get people to come to any event are “Mohamad will be cooking biryani”.  Everyone in my family has their own signature dish, of course, and I’ve covered them all in my post “Our Cake Boss Family”

My nephew Vikram’s signature? His imitations. Vikram can imitate anybody.  He is famous for using his imitations to prank call somebody.  Once he made a prank call to me. On this call, he pretended to be a country bumpkin from India who had just come to the US and wanted to marry me.  “I am very good at ironing” is one of the statements I remember “Thomas Pillai” saying.  I was completely fooled by the call and I am sure Vikram enjoyed all the awkward politeness with which I turned down Thomas Pillai’s proposal.

My friend Julia’s signature:  It would have to be her nutrition advice. I shared some of this with you in my post 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia. There’s also Julia's Goldilocks maneuver. Goldilocks maneuver - what’s that?  Well, you will just have to read my post The United States of Friendship – Part 8 to find out, won’t you?

Minoo’s signature?  Aha.  Do you want the 1.0 or the 2.0? Minoo 1.0 racked up a whole host of ahem, shall we say, embarrassing signatures. One such was wearing a sweater come rain, shine or 100+ degree temperatures – as described in my post “How to Become More Unique”. Another was wearing shades day and night for a couple of years.  My signature to those who last saw me like that and lost track of me after might well be “the girl who wore shades at night”. And if you were with me during my early MAA days, perhaps you might remember me as the “the gal who broke into mid-song at her desk, going “won’t you take me to Funky Town?” Ranjan Thomas, are you around?

These are just some examples of signatures.

The point is that each one of us is unique. And each one of us has our own special signature.

A signature we shouldn’t have to keep hidden. A signature that should be cherished.

Because it's what makes us different and special.

When White Hat Security was first started, Christal, one of the finance staff, would sing Happy Birthday to each and every employee who had a birthday.

Singing is Christal’s signature.

And White Hat was the kind of environment that encouraged people to express their signatures

White Hat Security is all grown up now and the practice has ended.

I think something is lost when this happens.

The thing I liked most about my MAA days (captured in Ajay’s post A Short Stint in Advertising) is the fact we could all bring our signatures to work.

If I broke out into “Wont you take me to Funky Town?” , every now and then, it was because the atmosphere was so relaxed; you didn’t feel the need to walk on eggshells – you didn't have to think about whether you should do this or that, not do this or not do that.

In fact, nobody ever said to me “Minoo, stop that” when I used to break into song, and in fact, I was blissfully unaware I was doing it for the longest time.

Companies should cherish each employee’s “secret sauce”.

It would go a long way to make a person feel engaged and connected, if we took the trouble to find out what each employee’s signature is, and to show we cherish and appreciate that signature in some way. 

So here’s to more "Christals singing Happy Birthday" and more Minoo’s breaking into “Won’t you take me to Funky Town” and more Ajay’s saying “Have a good trip” while he sticks out his leg.

3 Cheers for each of us being able to express who we are…..

3 Cheers for our signatures.

P.S. It is my hope that though White Hat Security has grown, the continuity of its CEO and some of the folks there should help the company retain the personal touch that marked its early days. 

P.S. 2: As always thanks for reading and have a great day and week…..one in which you will hopefully have plenty of opportunity to express your own special signature.....Minoo

The Element of Resonance and Its Hope For Finding Wisdom In the Words, Ideas and Experiences of Other Human Beings

Resonance.

It happens when 2 people fall in love anywhere in the world.  Of all the 7 billion people in the world, those 2 people fell in love with each other and not with anyone else.

It happens when you read a book, and part (or all) of the author’s message strikes a deep chord in you.  In my review of Anita Saran’s On Becoming Vegetarian, I highlight one such passage from a Lewis Carroll book called Sylvie and Bruno. The passage and its remarkable effect on me were the result of resonance.

It happens when someone says something to you and you go, “so true”.

It happens when you hear or read something and it galvanizes you into action. As William Butler Yeats said, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”  Indeed, if ever you read or hear something that gives you a powerful emotional charge, this is resonance at work. 

We are all resonant people.

We were made to relate to each other’s ideas and words and experiences.

It is essential to our physical and emotional well being.

Sometimes our channels to other human beings are blocked, because of illness, or busyness, or preoccupation with the wrong things.

But as soon as these channels become unblocked, we are able to relate to other human beings again.

We become ready to receive the gifts of wisdom from the words, ideas and experiences of other human beings.

Past and present.

Do you have a “resonant state of mind”?

Do you have an open state of mind? Open to resonating to other people’s ideas? Being open to resonating to other people’s ideas is different from being sympathetic to other people’s situations, or being empathetic to other people’s feelings. We can be sympathetic and empathetic, and yet completely closed when it comes to ideas.

Do you have a trusting state of mind? Do you actively seek insights and ways of thinking about your problems and issues from other sources? As Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it”

Do you have a learning state of mind? Are you currently learning something new? Do you plan to continue learning in every decade of your life? Seeking to study new fields or to revisit your current ideas, beliefs, habits of thought and way of living? Do you believe there is a set point and it is reached in one’s 20’s or 30’s?  “This is it.”

Do you have a humble state of mind? A mind that recognizes no idea is truly new; every idea is just a new point on a continuum. Are you like Issac Newton who said, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”?

Were you able to say “yes” to most of these questions? 

Congratulations on having a resonant state of mind.

Not really? 

Don’t worry.

The channels to the ideas, thoughts and experiences of other human beings may be momentarily blocked, because of illness or busyness or trouble or preoccupation with the wrong things.

Once you fix the state of mind associated with that, you will be able to resonate.

And enjoy the physical and emotional well being it brings you

Cheers to that.

Thanks for reading and have a great day…..M…..a Pearl Seeker like you.

The Element of Uniqueness & Its Hope For Different Perspectives

The Great Gatsby, a film remade in 2013 with Leonardo DiCaprio. The film has been remade many times starting 1926.

We are all special.  We are all unique.

10 different people can cook tomato rasam with the same ingredients and each will taste different. Because each of them did something different. Smashed the tomatoes before tharkaing it; fried the tomatoes with their skins on; pureed the tomatoes; sauted the tomatoes till they were caramelized; left the grains of the dhal whole; cooked the dhal until it was pureed.

I remember my friend Mariam telling me when she cooked anything new, she would have 4 or 5 different recipe books open to the same recipe.  She would compile the different recipes to cook the dish.

Isn’t this what most of us do, in one way or another? I have always believed that everyone is creative; Even those people who say they are not creative, I will observe creativity in at least 4 areas of their lives: the way they dress, the décor of their houses, what they do in their kitchens, and what they do in their gardens.

We are all special.  We are all unique.  Each of us brings something special to the table.  Our own special touch – a touch often captured more vividly in memories than in words.  

This is why we should welcome new and diverse friendships, however brief they are. 

Some brief friendships will turn out to be not so brief, after all.

Because friendships are like polar bears. Some of them will hibernate.  Some of them will hibernate for a long time.  My friendship with Gerri (captured in my post The United States of Friendship – Part 2) is one of those friendships that hibernated for a decade.

But back to uniqueness. Each of us is special and unique.

But we tell ourselves stories such as “I have nothing special to say”, “everything that has to be said about this subject has been said before”, “I could never be so good as ……x”

Things are always old.   Things are always new.  Everything that is new is a spin on something old.  Pinterest is a spin on bulletin boards, it is also a spin on Ben Silbermann’s bug collection.

Mark Twain said, “history does not repeat itself, but it rhymes”.

Nothing I have written on this blog is new.

It’s the fact I am saying it that is new.

This post I am writing is new.

It is new to me - I have never said what I am saying in this post in the exact way any time before.

It is new to you - You have never heard me say what I have said in this post in the exact same way before.

What I am getting at is whatever you are thinking about doing, don’t worry that it has already been done before.

Do you know there are 57 movie remakes currently in development?  You can read about them here. The producers and director of these movies didn’t say, “oh, this has already been done before, so no point” They know the secret – the people who will produce, plot, script, direct, act, do the casting and sets of these movies will be different from the people who did the original.  Plus technologies have changed, possibilities have expanded. 

This is what drives them. This is what should drive you.

Whatever you undertake, just because you are doing it, that’s what will make it new.

It will be new to you, it will be new to all the people who you are doing it for, it will be new to all the people who are witness to you doing it. They would never have seen you do that before.

So don’t say to yourself, “there are too many pizza restaurants. I can’t hope to compete with a new pizza restaurant.” You have never opened a pizza restaurant.  That’s what’s new.

You cannot cross the same river twice.

Don’t tell yourself, “What’s the point of writing another article about this subject?  Or writing another letter to the editor?  Or expressing another view in this online forum?  There is nothing left to say about this subject.  Everything has already been said, and more eloquently.”

The fact you are writing it is what will make it different.

Don’t worry about being eloquent, making mistakes and boo boos, stepping on people’s toes, and all of that.  If I had allowed myself to dwell on any of that, this blog would never have gotten off the ground.  If I am still going, it's because I have developed a healthy attitude to criticism, and a healthy humility about being ordinary and clumsy.

You should know.  You’ve been dealing with my orphaned sentences and my other annoying literary and grammatical outrages. Thanks for putting up with me and focusing on the gist of what I am saying.  Very grateful.

Don’t for a minute imagine I am not frightened when I write.  Every single time I have to hit the publish button, I have to take a deep breath before doing so. Putting something online with your name on it is psychologically quite scary. But I do it in spite of the fear.

I do it in spite of the fact I know I have nothing new to say and everything is a rehash of something that has been said before. I do it in spite of the risk of the post being considered a joke. I do it because I know each of us is different; so I know I am different enough (in some ways) to be able to say and do things somewhat differently from anyone else.

Even between 2 people from the exact same family, there will be different perspectives based on their personality, life experiences, knowledge, research, ideas and values.

Even between 30 students writing the exact same thesis, the thesis will be different based on the different personalities, life experiences, knowledge, research, ideas and values of the students.

Don’t worry about things such as success.  What is the guarantee of success? The 57 film remakes are not guaranteed success.

Sometimes we just have to take a chance.  There are no guarantees. There are just opportunities. And dreams.  And ideas.  Sometimes, they all come together.  You get an opportunity to pursue a dream for which you have some ideas.

We live in a golden time.  For free, we can create a blog or a website and express ourselves on it.  For free, we can create a profile and put it on LinkedIn.  For free, we can post our latest creations on Facebook, Pinterest, Tumblr or Flicker. For free, we can say clever things on Twitter. For free, we can create a video and post it on YouTube. For free, we can review a restaurant or event on Yelp. For free, we can review a product or book on Amazon.

The only price we have to pay is the price of our time and the price of our courage.

How many of these opportunities are you using?

Don’t let another day go by without sharing your specialness with the world.

Now go make some rasam. I know it will have your special touch.

Thanks for reading and have a great day and week…..M…..a Pearl-Seeker like you.