How To Live A Good Life - Part 13

Rethink every encounter and interaction.

View every person you meet and every encounter you have as a learning opportunity.

Ask yourself, is there something to learn from this person or this event?

You can gain insights from every interaction.

It does not matter whether the interaction is positive like the fun interaction pictured in the image above, or whether the interaction is negative.

Like the story I am about to tell you.

This happened to me many years ago, possibly over 10 years ago.

The encounter has stayed with me.

I was shopping for groceries at a store called Grocery Outlet.

Absorbed with my shopping, I crossed from one side of one of the shopping aisles to the other side, without watching where I was going.

As a result, I almost bumped into a man and a woman (presumably husband and wife) with my shopping cart.

The man was upset.

He expressed his frustration by shaking his head, looking at his wife and exclaiming "bozo".

Grocery Outlet is a low end shopping store.

Possibly, the man was not very educated and did not know that most Indians know English, so he felt safe in calling me a bozo. Perhaps he thought I wouldn’t understand what he was saying.

On the other hand, it was possible he didn't care.

He wanted to hurt me with his words. 

There was no way for me to tell which was the case. Unless I straight out asked him.

But was that something I wanted to do?

What did I learn from this negative incident, besides the obvious fact I should watch where I am going.

I learned a few different things.

I learned even a small annoyance can prompt a stinging insult from someone.

I learned how fragile my ego was – because though I maintained a straight face - as if nothing had happened, I was deeply stung by the remark.

Most importantly, the incident was a reminder to me that every territory comes with certain things, and if you are in that territory, you just have to accept those things.

If you drive on 101 at peak hour, you will be in bumper to bumper traffic.

If you live beside a busy road, you will hear a lot of street noise from your house.

If you live in an apartment, it will be noisier and your rent will go up every year.

And if you shop at Grocery Outlet (and the wine bargains alone might draw you there) – you can expect to run into some rough situations.

For example, people who won’t think twice about calling you “bozo”.

When it comes to experiences like this, like the first dents on a new car, the first shocks are the worst.

Even if we are super sensitive, we will have to learn to develop grit and strength as life throws arrows at us.

It is simply not possible to avoid experiencing shocks and problems and disappointments and losses and disasters in life.

Better to look upon every experience and interaction as a learning opportunity, as a stepping stone to wisdom.

The School of Life (which you can also call The School of Interaction and Experience) has the best curriculum in the world.

By going through experiences good and bad, and having different kinds of interactions with people, we will add to our knowledge, our skills, our toolkit to deal with life, and to our grit, hardiness and suppleness.

Whether you experience the hard knocks of life early or late in life, you should use them as an opportunity to understand, to learn, and to grow.

To ask questions, such as "Where did I go wrong?" And"What can I do to not to bring upon myself the same misfortunes in the future?"

What happens when you find out you have been living in a Fool’s Paradise?

You should realize you have been acting as the emperor with no clothes, and you should immediately start working your way to wisdom.

I was in a laughable Fool’s Paradise when I invested in Krispy Kreme Donut shares.

I thought I was very clever.

I thought I was putting bottom-fishing techniques to work.

I had grandiose ideas about bringing Warren Buffett type strategies to my investing.

What a joke that turned out to be.

Even if I lived to tell the tale and win a Toastmaster’s award for it!

But again and again, I have found that while I am upset or disappointed or sad about some things that happen, I am grateful for the lessons learned and for the growth I experience.

Be grateful for the lessons learned and for the growth you experience.

Make every person you meet, and every experience you have, count.

  

Don’t limit yourself to learning about things which can enhance your career, save you money, earn you money, or increase your status or pleasure.

  

Become a master psychologist of yourself and of other people.  

Why are we attracted to some people?

  

Why do we listen to some people and not others?

  

Why do we believe some people and not others?

Start observing behaviors and try to solve these puzzles.

  

Almost every person you meet has something to teach you.

  

The only prerequisites are an ability to listen, an ability to ask thoughtful questions, and an ability to reflect on what you have heard and how you can apply that information.

  

As I said in my post 10 Things You Can Learn From My Life Experiences, interested people are interesting.

  

What do I mean by that?

  

You can find out by reading my post.

  

I have found that every person I meet can teach me at least one new skill, or one tip or trick to make life easier or more interesting.

  

It can be a small, simple thing like boiling dhal.

I used to rinse the dhal in cold water and then bring the dhal and cold water to a boil together.

  

Until a friend Annie (Hello and thank you Annie) told me she boils water and then puts the rinsed dhal in.

  

It can be a bigger thing like having a bad rack and pinion on a very old car.

  

The mechanic quoted $1000 to replace the rack and pinion.

  

Tanita’s friend gave me a $8 solution that has enabled me to keep the car going without that big $1000 replacement. Hello and thank you, Tanita’s friend.

  

Yes, by looking at every experience you have, and every person you meet as a learning opportunity, your life will be enriched.

  

You are sure to discover things you didn't know.

  

Some things will just be interesting.

  

Other things will be useful.

  

Some things will be valuable.

  

And some things will be extremely valuable, even life-changing.

  

Discovering Rich Dad Poor Dad by Kiyosaki was extremely valuable for me, and at least one other friend.

And earlier today, I was listening to a talk given by Sadhguru Vasudev at the Oxford Union.

  

I learned some valuable things.

  

One that I particularly liked, which was almost an hour into his speech, was the distinction he makes between skepticism and suspicion.

  

It dawned on me that many of the problems in the world, small and big, are connected with people being suspicious of each other.

  

I realized the world needs more skepticism, but less suspicion.

  

I told myself, “Minoo watch out for when you are being unnecessarily suspicious”

  

The end of being suspicious is the beginning of being gracious and loving.

  

On that note, I will end this post.

  

I hope you will take the message of this post to heart, and see every interaction you have, and everything you experience, as an opportunity to learn and enrich your life.

   

Acknowledgements:  

Thanks for your condolences on the passing of my dear brother-in- law Arun. As my last post describes, he was a hero to the end.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning and a better life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight. 

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with October birthdays. I hope you will use your birthday month to start doing good for yourself by viewing every experience you have and every interaction as an opportunity you can learn and grow from. Remember, you cannot do that if you are not in your full senses; so any obstacles to being in your full senses must be seriously and meaningfully tackled first. No question about that.  No way around that.

To all my readers, have a blessed “doing good for yourself while doing good for others week, and see you next week.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me,Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family,BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health

Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories

Changing in Good Ways

Maybe Its Time To Become More Receptive, Maybe It’s Time To Live More Purposefully, Maybe It’s Time To Bust Some Myths, Maybe It’s Time to Walk In The Direction Of Your Fears, Maybe It’s Time To Understand What Freedom Is, Maybe It’s Time To Turn the Page, Maybe It’s Time To Rock The World, Maybe It’s Time For Freshness

A Hero To The End

Engaging and engaged to the end

Humorous and entertaining to the end
Accessible and resourceful to the end

Hospitable and gracious to the end

Big-hearted and generous to the end
Courageous and sacrificing to the end
Authentic and honest to the end

Loving and caring to the end

Supportive and problem-solving to the end
Farsighted and visionary to the end

Industrious and hardworking to the end
Gritty and self-reliant to the end
Smart and decisive to the end

Creative and ingenious to the end

Sporting and energetic to the end
Disciplined and responsible to the end

A true hero to the end

In loving memory of my dear brother-in law and Tanita's dear uncle - Arun Bhaskaran. We were privileged to have you in our lives. You will live large in our memories - Minoo and Tanita

How To Experience More Job Satisfaction

Go where you are wanted.

Deliver what is needed.

Focus on delivering value.

What's my advice for commission analysts and commission managers who are starting a new job?

In my last post I talked about how to come up to speed by having a prepared process for data gathering.

I also talked about the importance of focusing on progress rather than perfection.

You have to do what you can, with the resources you have, in the time you have.

It will help if you create checks and checklists for yourself, so you can meet the twin goals every commissions analyst has to meet - accuracy and timeliness.

Yes I know, accuracy is another word for perfection, and time and perfection are at odds with each other, but if you arm yourself with tools such as checks and checklists, and use time management skillfully, it won't be so overwhelming.

Errors, including the "innocence errors" referred to in my last post, will be reduced, even if you cannot avoid them completely.

Just keep going and keep getting better.

Today I would like to talk about a different topic.

It is one that is close to my heart.

When you change jobs, you can be so focused on snagging or landing a job or assignment with better pay, or a better title, or a better environment, you may think about making the switch, and nothing else.

This is a mistake.

You should only take up a new assignment or job in which you can be sure: "I am wanted on this job and I am needed."

You should also only take up an assignment or job in which you can be sure: "I can do what is needed. I can deliver value."

You should try to find out as much as you can about your new job or assignment ahead of time.

You want to be reasonably confident you can do a good job.

You also want to be reasonably confident the job will work for you.

The company that hires you has obviously concluded you are a good fit for them and they are a good fit for you, and they believe you will be able to deliver value to them.

But where the disconnect arises, is between what they think is value and what you think is value.

Your past experience may lead you to believe that value is what you did at your last job plus or minus a few things.

But even in an area of work as well defined as commissions administration, value is completely subjective.

My experience confirms what Ron Baker and Ed Kless say about value in their Soul of Enterprise podcasts.

It means different things to different people.

It also means different things to different people in different contexts.

In each of my assignments, value has meant a different thing.

And because not everything is spelled out in an interview, I have to figure out what value I need to bring to a customer, and how best to deliver it.

Since I typically help companies who have a resource crunch - such as when a key commissions talent leaves the company -   the first order of business is pretty straightforward.

The value I have to deliver is to step in and do the work of the key talent, until the position is backfilled.

At one assignment, this meant I had to hop onto a plane to Irvine, Southern California and meet with the talent to get all the information from her, before her notice period ran out.

The key facts of the scenario were as follows:

o    The talent was a seasoned professional who had been handling commissions for the company for 17 years

o    She  was down to the last 3 days of her notice period

o    The company was a 40 year old company and the commissions data resided in an elaborate web of systems, and had to be verified through a number of cumbersome processes.

For 3 days, my boss, myself and the talent holed ourselves up in a conference room well past midnight on each day, so that we could come back to Norcal and keep the commissions processes humming, without the talent, and with a minimum of disruption.

When they found a backfill for the talent, I then had to switch tracks and deliver a different kind of value.

Now my job was to go into training mode to get the new analyst up and running on Xactly Incent.

Before leaving the company, a new sales org (from a company merger) was set up in Xactly.

I wrote an Xactly Incent Operations guide for the commissions analyst who was handling the commissions for that sales org, and I trained her on the Xactly processes specific to the sales org she was supporting.

What are the key takeaways from my approach to this assignment?

I was flexible, I went with the flow, and I delivered the value that was needed at different points of time.

This is what I advise you to do when you start a new job.

Whether you are an employee or a consultant, be flexible, go with the flow, and deliver what is needed.

I adapt to the different role requirements of each assignment.

At one assignment, I had to physically walk the payroll sheet for signatures to 3 different managers - the Director of Sales Ops, the Revenue Director and the Controller.

I had to also manually type up the exchange rates (starting, ending and average) from a particular website for 17 currencies, and send this on to various people in finance on a monthly basis.

These were low level tasks which had to be performed as part of an incredibly large number of low-level tasks and high level tasks which the Commissions Analyst had been shouldering.

It was a hard act to follow, but I did the best I could, focusing on progress, not perfection for the 9 months I was there.

It is a template I have followed again and again, with a few tweaks here and there.

On another assignment, value meant understanding the Access and Excel model created by an outgoing Commissions Analyst during his last week there, then UAT testing the Varicent set-up against this model.

I then wrote a step by step Varicent commissions process manual for the analyst to use.

The Varicent manual was not one of the requirements, but I realized it was essential, to the analyst being set up for success.  So I took it upon myself to create it, and then train her on the processes.

When you start a new job or assignment, find out what value means to the people you are working for, and think about how you can deliver it.

In my last post, I told you about the Xactly Incent Operations Guide I was working on.

I developed this guide in response to a coaching challenge.

Challenges are opportunities in disguise.

Related post:

The Element of Rising To The Occasion

Further, I have been training myself to see all problems as puzzles.

Related post:

The Element of Seeing All Problems as Puzzles

So when the coaching challenge came up, I saw it as an opportunity.

The only thing I was worried about was having enough time to deliver the coaching.

I scratched my head. I couldn't see how to get around the fact that time was a constraint.

I went online to see if I could find some answers to tackling training challenges.

And guess what - I hit pay dirt instantly.

I stumbled on Harold D Stolovitch (author of Telling Aint Training) and Alan Fine (the initial thinker behind the GROW concept of learning).

After listening to Stolovitch explain the elements of effective training, and reading articles explaining GROW (Goals, Realities, Options, Way Forward), I figured out an answer as to how to solve the time constraint problem.

The answer was to create a self-learning kit that did not require my time.

After giving some thought to what the self-learning kit should contain, this is what I came up with.  It has 4 parts in all:

o    The Xactly Incent Operations Guide (which I told you about in my last post)

o    A GROW worksheet - for the Xactly learners to write up their earning goals, current reality, options for learning, and way forward.

o    A progress and self-evaluation tracker - for the Xactly learners to mark their progress from familiarity to comfort to competence to mastery

o    And finally, a quiz for the Xactly learners to test their Xactly knowledge.

I felt confident this kit was the answer, and that any commissions analyst would be able to pick up Xactly Incent using it.

Related content:

Jeff Cobb of LeadingLearning.com speaks with Harold D Stolovitch about the elements of training.

An article about GROW written by Steve Nguyen, PhD

So let’s look at how this kit was born again.

I am presented with a coaching challenge.

I become aware of a need for Xactly Incent training.

The problem is there are time constraints.

I am eager to deliver value in spite of these time constraints.

My eagerness to deliver value and solve the problem leads me to do some online research.

By discovering Stolovitch and GROW online, I shift from a "teacher centered mindset" to a "learner-centered mindset". I develop “learning materials”, instead of “teaching materials”. My product is a complete self-learning Xactly Incent kit, with a goals, objectives and options worksheet, an instruction guide, a self-evaluation tool, and a self-testing tool.

A week ago, this kit did not exist.

But when you are focused on delivering value, one thing leads to another.

Even if there's not enough time on the job, your mind keeps working on solutions, and solutions emerge, sometimes in the middle of the night.

Don't think of your job as a job.

Think of it as a vehicle for value-delivery.

Your path to success should be paved with providing value.

Become passionate about delivering value.

When you are open to delivering value, you are open to going beyond what is expected. 

Someone says to you, "Minoo, I want you to develop a Team Sharepoint for us."

And you go "Are you sure I can do it?"

And then they say, "Yes, I think you can do it."

And you go "Ok, if you think I can do it, I will give it a shot."

And before you know it, you have developed a Team Sharepoint.

You become known for bringing above and beyond to the table, for doing what is most called for, for doing what matters most to a manager or team member.

Do things that make you uncomfortable.

Do things that expand your knowledge base and your skills base.

Do things that make you stretch, even if they mean an extra time commitment.

Keep saying yes until it becomes automatic for you to say yes.

And don't worry about failing.

Even if you fail, it means you tried.

And you will definitely learn some new things even when you fail.

When I think back on my commissions administration career, I have always tried to make a difference - I did it at Palm and I did it at Extreme Networks.

The problem was it was a back-end difference, and so it was invisible.

Today, I try to make a visible difference.  I see what can help a team, and I listen for what a manager says he or she wants.

And then I think of ways of delivering it, even if it was not what I was originally hired for.

Today, when I end an assignment, I have typically contributed a few different things of value to the team. A CDR and macros at Fortinet, macros at Rubrik, a Team Sharepoint at Linkedin, and the Xactly Incent self-learning kit at my current assignment.

None of these things were part of what I was originally hired to do.

None of them were requirements.

But I delivered them, because I saw an opportunity to deliver value.

If you want to experience more job satisfaction, delivering value can't be beat. And who doesn't want more job satisfaction?

So ask yourself - how can you deliver more value?

What requests can you step up to?

What unmet needs can you put your mind to?

Change your destiny and your level of job satisfaction by putting your mind to this today.

Acknowledgements:

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on Part 1 through 12 of my last series of How To Live A Good Life posts. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning, and a better life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with October birthdays. I hope you will use your birthday month to mark a turning point in your career, and to start focusing on delivering value. Remember, you will not be able to do that, if you are not committed to it, and if you do not apply yourself consistently.

To all my readers, have a blessed “doing good for yourself while doing good for others week, and see you next week.