How To Live A Good Life - Part 13

Rethink every encounter and interaction.

View every person you meet and every encounter you have as a learning opportunity.

Ask yourself, is there something to learn from this person or this event?

You can gain insights from every interaction.

It does not matter whether the interaction is positive like the fun interaction pictured in the image above, or whether the interaction is negative.

Like the story I am about to tell you.

This happened to me many years ago, possibly over 10 years ago.

The encounter has stayed with me.

I was shopping for groceries at a store called Grocery Outlet.

Absorbed with my shopping, I crossed from one side of one of the shopping aisles to the other side, without watching where I was going.

As a result, I almost bumped into a man and a woman (presumably husband and wife) with my shopping cart.

The man was upset.

He expressed his frustration by shaking his head, looking at his wife and exclaiming "bozo".

Grocery Outlet is a low end shopping store.

Possibly, the man was not very educated and did not know that most Indians know English, so he felt safe in calling me a bozo. Perhaps he thought I wouldn’t understand what he was saying.

On the other hand, it was possible he didn't care.

He wanted to hurt me with his words. 

There was no way for me to tell which was the case. Unless I straight out asked him.

But was that something I wanted to do?

What did I learn from this negative incident, besides the obvious fact I should watch where I am going.

I learned a few different things.

I learned even a small annoyance can prompt a stinging insult from someone.

I learned how fragile my ego was – because though I maintained a straight face - as if nothing had happened, I was deeply stung by the remark.

Most importantly, the incident was a reminder to me that every territory comes with certain things, and if you are in that territory, you just have to accept those things.

If you drive on 101 at peak hour, you will be in bumper to bumper traffic.

If you live beside a busy road, you will hear a lot of street noise from your house.

If you live in an apartment, it will be noisier and your rent will go up every year.

And if you shop at Grocery Outlet (and the wine bargains alone might draw you there) – you can expect to run into some rough situations.

For example, people who won’t think twice about calling you “bozo”.

When it comes to experiences like this, like the first dents on a new car, the first shocks are the worst.

Even if we are super sensitive, we will have to learn to develop grit and strength as life throws arrows at us.

It is simply not possible to avoid experiencing shocks and problems and disappointments and losses and disasters in life.

Better to look upon every experience and interaction as a learning opportunity, as a stepping stone to wisdom.

The School of Life (which you can also call The School of Interaction and Experience) has the best curriculum in the world.

By going through experiences good and bad, and having different kinds of interactions with people, we will add to our knowledge, our skills, our toolkit to deal with life, and to our grit, hardiness and suppleness.

Whether you experience the hard knocks of life early or late in life, you should use them as an opportunity to understand, to learn, and to grow.

To ask questions, such as "Where did I go wrong?" And"What can I do to not to bring upon myself the same misfortunes in the future?"

What happens when you find out you have been living in a Fool’s Paradise?

You should realize you have been acting as the emperor with no clothes, and you should immediately start working your way to wisdom.

I was in a laughable Fool’s Paradise when I invested in Krispy Kreme Donut shares.

I thought I was very clever.

I thought I was putting bottom-fishing techniques to work.

I had grandiose ideas about bringing Warren Buffett type strategies to my investing.

What a joke that turned out to be.

Even if I lived to tell the tale and win a Toastmaster’s award for it!

But again and again, I have found that while I am upset or disappointed or sad about some things that happen, I am grateful for the lessons learned and for the growth I experience.

Be grateful for the lessons learned and for the growth you experience.

Make every person you meet, and every experience you have, count.

  

Don’t limit yourself to learning about things which can enhance your career, save you money, earn you money, or increase your status or pleasure.

  

Become a master psychologist of yourself and of other people.  

Why are we attracted to some people?

  

Why do we listen to some people and not others?

  

Why do we believe some people and not others?

Start observing behaviors and try to solve these puzzles.

  

Almost every person you meet has something to teach you.

  

The only prerequisites are an ability to listen, an ability to ask thoughtful questions, and an ability to reflect on what you have heard and how you can apply that information.

  

As I said in my post 10 Things You Can Learn From My Life Experiences, interested people are interesting.

  

What do I mean by that?

  

You can find out by reading my post.

  

I have found that every person I meet can teach me at least one new skill, or one tip or trick to make life easier or more interesting.

  

It can be a small, simple thing like boiling dhal.

I used to rinse the dhal in cold water and then bring the dhal and cold water to a boil together.

  

Until a friend Annie (Hello and thank you Annie) told me she boils water and then puts the rinsed dhal in.

  

It can be a bigger thing like having a bad rack and pinion on a very old car.

  

The mechanic quoted $1000 to replace the rack and pinion.

  

Tanita’s friend gave me a $8 solution that has enabled me to keep the car going without that big $1000 replacement. Hello and thank you, Tanita’s friend.

  

Yes, by looking at every experience you have, and every person you meet as a learning opportunity, your life will be enriched.

  

You are sure to discover things you didn't know.

  

Some things will just be interesting.

  

Other things will be useful.

  

Some things will be valuable.

  

And some things will be extremely valuable, even life-changing.

  

Discovering Rich Dad Poor Dad by Kiyosaki was extremely valuable for me, and at least one other friend.

And earlier today, I was listening to a talk given by Sadhguru Vasudev at the Oxford Union.

  

I learned some valuable things.

  

One that I particularly liked, which was almost an hour into his speech, was the distinction he makes between skepticism and suspicion.

  

It dawned on me that many of the problems in the world, small and big, are connected with people being suspicious of each other.

  

I realized the world needs more skepticism, but less suspicion.

  

I told myself, “Minoo watch out for when you are being unnecessarily suspicious”

  

The end of being suspicious is the beginning of being gracious and loving.

  

On that note, I will end this post.

  

I hope you will take the message of this post to heart, and see every interaction you have, and everything you experience, as an opportunity to learn and enrich your life.

   

Acknowledgements:  

Thanks for your condolences on the passing of my dear brother-in- law Arun. As my last post describes, he was a hero to the end.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning and a better life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight. 

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with October birthdays. I hope you will use your birthday month to start doing good for yourself by viewing every experience you have and every interaction as an opportunity you can learn and grow from. Remember, you cannot do that if you are not in your full senses; so any obstacles to being in your full senses must be seriously and meaningfully tackled first. No question about that.  No way around that.

To all my readers, have a blessed “doing good for yourself while doing good for others week, and see you next week.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me,Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family,BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health

Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories

Changing in Good Ways

Maybe Its Time To Become More Receptive, Maybe It’s Time To Live More Purposefully, Maybe It’s Time To Bust Some Myths, Maybe It’s Time to Walk In The Direction Of Your Fears, Maybe It’s Time To Understand What Freedom Is, Maybe It’s Time To Turn the Page, Maybe It’s Time To Rock The World, Maybe It’s Time For Freshness