Dear Santa

12/20/2011

Dear Sants,

I hope you don’t mind my calling you that.  If you read my post The Porki and Bonkers Tradition, you will understand it is a tradition in my family to call people by invented names, often a shortened version of their name.  Hence Sants!

 I wonder what Mamma Santa used to call you when you were a baby. Was it “Shonu”? I recently heard one Mamma call her baby that. 

The Mamma’s name is Kanchan.

Since you come from the North Pole, you are probably Eskimo.  And your Mamma probably has an Eskimo name such as Iluak (a person who does good things) or Anana (meaning beautiful) or Nertornartok (meaning glorious).

I discovered you can generate any name in Eskimo using this Eskimo Name Generator available on the internet.…http://www.quizopolis.com/eskimo-name-generator.php

Just for fun, I typed ‘Rudolph’ as the first name and ‘the red-nosed reindeer’ as the last name in this generator and it produced Nagojut (which means friendly).

So if you ever hear anyone calling Rudolph Nago, that’s short for his Eskimo name.

Anyway Sants, here are some of the things I want for Christmas.

1. A few extra wags of the tail from her pets for my friend Anita, who had a birthday recently, and who, as everyone knows from her post “A Fresh Perspective on Pets” is the biggest dog-lover in the world. Actually, a few extra wags of the tail for all dog lovers anywhere on the planet and a few extra purrs for all cat lovers anywhere on the planet.  Because dogs and cats, like sunshine, are amazing for the soul.
2. Next, a jump in typing speed for my friend Ajay. He is half-way through typing up a novel he completely wrote by hand and I fear he may never finish at his current typing speed. 

 (By the way, Sants, watch out for Ajay when you are zipping through the skies. If you see a chariot, a jazzy car or a transparent bubble overtaking your sleigh, that’s probably Ajay. He time travels at the drop of a hat (or apparently at the whisper of an angel).  You can read his posts, Oh Bangalore, Oh Bangalore Part 2 and Oh Bangalore Part 3 for more on that.  And watch out for Ajay on the ground too, because he has been known to ride a Lambretta which does not go straight (no jokes, Sants, – read his post A Short Stint in Advertising and tell me if I’m kidding). 

3. Number 3 on my list, Sants – is a request to make 2012 a better year for people all around.  Besides improving the economy in the US and Europe and creating jobs with a capital J, please band with Bill Gates and Buffett to help eradicate hunger, poverty and avoidable illnesses like malaria around the world. Help get a mosquito net to everyone who needs it.  The only mosquitoes we need are the ones mentioned in my post “You Are a Mosquito In Somebody’s Room”.
4. Sants, Number 4 - Many people are lonely and I would like them to have the Gift of Company.  I’ve realized one can be powerful and successful and well taken care of and have everything  - and still feel lonely and unloved - like Audrey 3, the protagonist of Juliet Pinto’s sensational post of the same name.
5. Number 5 - Please give the Gift of Time to anyone who needs it, Sants.  People can do wonders with the Gift of Time as my post by the same title explains.
6. Number 6 - I know a lot of people will keep themselves going with spirits this Christmas, Sants, when what they really need is spirit.  The kind of indomitably cheerful spirit my friend Gerri has.  Or the people in my post How to Let Nothing Come Between You and a Fulfilling Life. Now if you can bottle up that spirit and give it to as many people as possible so they can keep themselves going with that instead of spirits, I will be very grateful.   Speaking of gifts to cheer someone up, emotional rainy day insurance is something to consider for everyone.  In my post How To Say Goodbye Part 3, I give an example of that.
7. Number 7 – Sants, however do you pull those all-nighters? Zipping around the world in your sleigh delivering gifts from sunset to dawn, going up and down chimneys non-stop like the Energizer Bunny.  I have 2 questions for you. Question 1 – don’t you feel sleep deprived?  Question 2 – don’t you suffer from jet lag? Your answers will be very helpful to all those who work a graveyard shift like my one-time neighbor Henry, who is an RN.  Your answer will also be very helpful to parents of young babies as well. Speaking of parents with young babies, all the people I am working with on my current Xactly Incent project have new babies, young babies or young children.  What’s with that?  Are you trying to tell me something, Sants?  It’s physiologically impossible, I’ll have you know – Abraham’s wife Sarah notwithstanding.  Back to the parents with new babies, please gift them your marvelous ability to cope with all-nighters.  How will you know who to give this to? Simple - I found out that they all watch Oprah - apparently it’s the only thing which is on when little Tabitha, little Teresa, little Tarkan, little Nancy and little Kristin are asleep.  Not to put down Oprah, but these stork-visited folks appear badly in need of sleep and time.  So be a good chappie and give them that.
8. Last but not least, please cut some slack to those who have been naughty.  We are already divided into the haves and the have nots.  Which is why there’s OWS and Time Magazine has named The Protester the Person of the Year.  We don’t want to be divided into the naughty and  nice as well.  I say this because I have been all kinds of naughty including academically naughty, fashion naughty, taking pot-shots at Simon Cowell and pot-shots at Oprah naughty, and more.

Thanks and best wishes,

Minoo

- or Desna (meaning boss) in Eskimo

(P.S.  Sorry that I am sending this letter to you at the Nth hour. If this means I have to accept standard shipping instead of overnight shipping, that’s fine. Just give me a date so the milk doesn’t curdle and the cookies don’t make the ants go "parteeeeeeee!")