Life Without Expectations

What does life feel like without expectations?

Life is more fun.

It you bet your happiness on your expectations, it's harder to enjoy life.

Life is unpredictable.

If you have too many expectations, you won't be able to handle life's unpredictability.

The larger the group of people you are amongst, the bigger or more complex the events or the circumstances, the more likely, unexpected things will happen.

You expect people to do this. But they do that.

If departures from your expectations typically lead to showdowns, you are not cut out to do things with other people.

Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds."

When you stop being full of expectations, you will begin to see everyone in a new light, or should I say in a true light. Your thinking will not be distorted by your opinions and your expectations.

It is no secret that perfectionists, because they have too many expectations, are harder to get along with, and are no fun.

Do you want to be that person who is no fun?

'No fun' people are typically avoided, and the sad part is they are not told why they are being avoided.

"But Minoo", you may say, "If I don’t have expectations, wouldn’t it mean I am cynical, or I am a doormat, or I don’t have any standards, or I am setting myself and my family and my child up to go astray, and have a sub-par life?"

Aha! I am getting to that.

What you need to do is to replace expectations with expectancy, especially in situations that involve you and one or more other people, including the people who are closest to you, and the people you are thrown together with in different social situations.

Expectancy is different from expectations.

Expectancy is approaching every situation with a positive attitude, having faith and a hopeful heart, coming at it with the right attitude, knowing that people will be who they are, giving it your best shot, and then letting go of the outcome.

When you do that, things may not go your way, but you very deliberately handle the things that don’t go your way with grace.

Think about the people you like the most.

It is likely they are people who are able to handle situations that don’t go their way with grace, and who are able to do so without lapses in character, standards, or ideals.

It is also likely that just as you like to spend time with them, everyone likes to spend time with them as well.

Doesn’t that tell you something?

What it tells you (and me) is that the world needs more people like them.

Life would be more fun with more people like them.

Life would be more relaxed.

Life would be more chill.

There would be fewer disagreements and less discord.

So may the tribe of “those who respond with grace” increase.

And after reading this, may both you and me become part of that tribe too.

I am rooting for us to be able to do that.

Because life is more fun when we ditch the expectations and go over to the expectancy side!

Life without expectations is more fun.

Meanwhile, for those who are causing grief by letting down those with expectations, the responsibility advice in my "Are You Responsible?" New Year's post (look out for that) suggests ways to cause less grief. Some great nuggets in there to put in your New Year resolutions for 2023.

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Additional suggested reading: Minoo Jha's answer to What qualities of a happy person do you think lead to better employment and financial outcomes? - Quora