Some reasons:- They are conflicted.
- The decision goes against a deeply held value, either their own value, or a family value, community value, or a societal value.
- They don't have a strong enough reason.
- They feel the decision is not one to be casual about.
- They are unsure of what factors to consider, and want to become clearer about the decision.
- They are afraid of the impacts of decisions on others, such as the impact on children.
- They are afraid the decision may make things worse, not better.
- They are afraid of regretting the choice they make.
- They are afraid they will not be able to cope, if there is a bad outcome.
- There are economic, relational, and psychological impacts (financial hardship, broken relationships, lowered personal status), which make the decision difficult.
- They do not have the support, they feel, is necessary to making the decision.
- They have never had to make decisions. Someone has always made decisions for them. Their parents, their siblings, or their partners.
- They want to make the "popular" decision, and they haven't yet determined what is the "popular" decision.
- And of course, there is always plain old procrastination, and waiting till the last minute.
If you become an entrepreneur, or start your own business, you will become better at making decisions - whether important decisions, or unimportant decisions.
What are good ways to make a decision quickly?
Hi, You asked, What are some examples of quick decision making? Here’s an example from my life… I was an advertising copywriter in my first career. After several years of working for ad agencies, I started my own creative shop, Purple Patch. Soon after starting Purple Patch, I decided I needed to hire additional copy help. I was willing to train someone who had the copy talent and potential to grow. At the time, I was guest lecturing in Advertising Copy at Loyola College, Chennai. I thought, why not, just hire one of my students. They had class only in the morning, so they could come to my house in the afternoons. I operated Purple Patch from my home which was not far away from Loyola College. I looked at the homework assignments and identified 4 suitable candidates from my batch of students. I asked these 4 students to come to my house for an interview. Little did I expect, they would arrive at my house together since their interviews were half hour apart. Anyway, when they arrived, I took them one by one into my home office to interview them, leaving the others sitting in my living room till it was their turn. I interviewed all the 4 students, and then I told them I was going back into my office for a few minutes to decide between the 4 of them. This was when I made a quick decision. I had planned to pay 3000 INR per month to the student I hired. A new thought suddenly occurred to me… What if I hired all 4 of them and paid them 750 INR each? I would have 4 talents instead of one. I made a quick decision about this and went back into the living room. “Do you want to know who I have decided on?” I told them. They looked at me with the excitement and nervousness of those on American Idol. “All 4 of you,” I said, and quickly added, “And I thought I’d pay you,” and then I stammered out, “750 INR each. They jumped up from their chairs in unison and shouted “Yay” as if they had won the Powerball or Mega Millions lottery. I was very proud of my quick decision making that day, especially in all the months and years to come running Purple Patch.
Women, especially those who have played a subordinate role for most of their life, will find themselves struggling with decision-making, even about relatively unimportant decisions.
Whether you are a woman or a man, you can improve your decision making.
You can think through your options, and develop confidence in making your choices.
One choice at a time.
One way to do this, is to get a pen and paper, and write the pros and cons (the advantages and disadvantages) of all the choices facing you.
Each person will have their own journey to becoming a decision-maker:
What is the best way to become successful as a woman?
Hi, You asked, What is the best way to become successful as a woman? I started off as a dependent cry baby. I became a strong, independent woman. Here’s how I did it (reprinted from a post with the same title on my blog). How I Went From A Girlie Girl to A Strong, Independent Woman It Doesn't Matter Where You Started, What Matters Is Where You Plan to End I learned to live alone. I learned to drive. I learned to make my own decisions. I learned to manage money on my own. I learned to value myself outside of a relationship. I learned to value what was in my head and heart, over the way I looked. I changed my focus to what I did, and how I acted. I stopped measuring myself against traditional ideas of ‘feminine’ success. I stopped identifying myself with my child’s successes and failures. I started setting boundaries on what I would, and would not, accept. I stopped being passive-aggressive, and learned to speak up. I started handling more things on my own. I became more self-sufficient. I started getting involved in things I used to hand over to men. (While I do not know how to fix my car, I get fully involved with every repair – researching the facts and becoming knowledgeable – whether it’s the blend door actuator on my air-conditioner, or a rack and pinion steering issue.) I learned to take charge, and make choices which made the most financial sense, covering all the bases - my housing, my car, my taxes, my insurance, my investments, my utilities, my child’s education, my health. I learned to make my voice heard through my blog. I learned to stop second guessing myself, and beating myself up for flaws or slips. I learned to take risks. Finally, I learned it does not matter where you started. What matters more is where you plan to end. So this is my advice to you: Sit at the table. Take smart risks. Seek challenges. Pursue your goals with gusto. And know, you can do it, exactly as you are. You are enough.
And since, not all decisions will turn out to be good decisions, you will need to learn from every bad decision you make.
You have to pick yourself up, say, "Oh well", I am not going to make the same mistake again".
You have to stay positive.
And you have to make decisions better than the decisions that didn't work out for you.
This is the path to more confident decision-making.
What truth has your bitter life taught you?
Hi Sean, Bitterness as a coping tool is overrated. So I am not bitter about anything. Not bitter about suffering a clinical depression at the peak of my professional success. Not bitter about my marriage not working out. Or the relationships that didn’t work out before that. Not bitter about my financial losses… …such as investing in IndyMac stock, only to see the bank seized by the FDIC in the 2007 market crash and my investment go to zero. What good is bitterness? So much better to think of life as an adventure an that happens as a part of that adventure. No bitter life for me - thank you. When life serves me lemons, I just get out the lemon squeezer.
