If Life is So Good, Why Do I Feel So Sad?

When Depression Hits!  

In my thirties, I suffered a depression.  Here's what I learned from going through the experience and coming out stronger and happier the other side...

Depression can strike even when times are good!

By good, I mean really, really good.

The year leading up to my depression was my best ever.

A seasoned Advertising Copywriter, my creative consultancy (appropriately called Purple Patch) was thriving.

Octopus-like, I had my tentacles in several different agencies and clients in Chennai.

From O&M to Sistas BSB and Everest to Goldwire on the agency side.

From Apollo Hospitals to Hill Country Resorts and Equifax to Strawberry Stripes on the client side.

There was so much work,  that in addition to the freelance copywriters and art directors I had on call, I was able to hire a bunch of my students from Loyola College where I was guest lecturing on Copywriting and put them on my payroll.

I was out and about a lot in those days. I remember speaking at events like the USIS Career Fair.

To make a long story short, there was no shortage of money, time, challenge or professional prestige.

Yet it was right in the middle of all this, that my depression took hold.

Depression can strike even when you are taking really good care of yourself!

At the time of my depression, you may think I was leading an unhealthy lifestyle. Eating too much.  Or too little.  Sleeping too much.  Or too little. Stressed out, perhaps?  And not getting enough exercise.

Perish the thought.

I had successfully turned vegetarian 2 years prior.

And I worked out for an hour every single day of the week

I did aerobics with Kamlesh 3 times a week.

And strength training at the Gym on Egmore High Road the other 4 days of the week.

Plus I was doing well enough to pay for a masseuse to come to my house and give me a one-hour massage every 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, this healthy lifestyle wasn't able to protect me. Depression is quite arbitrary in that sense. 

Depression can strike even with a supportive partner by your side!

I had married a man whom I had known for years and years.

He really appealed to my feminist side.

He cooked, he was self-sufficient.

He did not have any double standards.

And he was calm, good-natured and cheerful at all times.

It should have amounted to a kind of insurance against depression.

But it didn't.

Depression won't make you any less able to function!

This was both a boon and a curse.

I probably generated the most income I have ever generated in my life during my depression.

I was able to meet clients, make calls, attend meetings, supervise my team, get work done, pay my bills, deal with my bank and my tax consultant.

I was quite unimpaired in terms of being able to carry out the activities of life.

What no one knew was that there was no joy and I was dying inside.

No one ever guessed because...

Depression is easy to hide!

Like any socialized adult, I had successfully learned to mask my feelings long before the depression struck.

So when it did, I was able to keep it completely secret.

In fact, the only people who knew about it were the people I chose to tell.

Thank heavens I did decide to tell them.

Were it not for that, I wonder how much more protracted my suffering would have been.

Thanks to one of my confidants (and believe me, it was really hard to reveal to her that there was all this numbness and emptiness below the successful exterior), I was able to figure out I was going through a depression and then find a therapist.

Finally, depression can strike even if there's meaning in your life!

You might be tempted to think that it was all the focus on money-making that did me in.

But when you learn the facts, you'll see how that wasn't it either.

My needs being simple, I was a donor and participant in several different causes around the time of my depression.

I sponsored a lunch at an orphanage.

I sponsored the purchase of toiletries for the residents of an Old Age Home.

I sponsored 2 Blood Banks for Bank of Baroda, Alwarpet which was my bank at the time.

I was also on call to donate blood and still remember the hemophiliac mother-to-be who was about to deliver a baby that I was called upon to donate blood to.

I was a loving,dutiful daughter and also regularly visited my family in Bangalore.

And for one of my mum's birthdays, I flew down with a really special gift.

I had printed 200 copies of her book of poetry, "A Twig In a Torrent" in hardback.

But you can't buy immunity from a depression in any currency, including soul currency.

Is this tale depressing you?  Don't let it...

The good news is when a depression ends  - it really ends.

At the time I was depressed, I thought I may never smile again.

But I got myself into therapy.

And agreed to the treatment  prescribed.

In spite of not having much faith or respect for it.

It included Psychotherapy. An Anti-depressant.  A pill to sleep.  B-Complex injections.

And instructions to revisit all the decisions I had made in my life

I still remember this oft-repeated sentence of the therapist: - "Believe me, in a few years,you are going to be grateful for this depression.  It is going to make you make a happier, more fulfilled person."

She was right.

Though there were casualties - my marriage, my copywriting career, my business, my vegetarianism and my life in India were all impacted, I have lived more meaningfully and consciously with every passing year since.

And I have never looked back!

It took me great courage to write this post.  But I decided to do it anyway. Because I want people to know that there is a rainbow at the end of the depression cloud.  A rainbow with beautiful colors. Which only a person who has had a depression  and come out of it is able to perceive. 

If you suspect you are suffering from a depression...the important thing is to talk about it to somebody. To seek help.  And to put one foot in front of the other until you are over it.

Don't over analyze the gene theory, the childhood trauma theory or other causative factors - focus on getting well with medicine and psychotherapy.

May you Live Well and Thrive!

Buying Stocks, Bonds Or Mutual Funds?

 Here are 4 Questions You Should Ask Upfront...

1) Can I see your Commission & Fee Schedule?
Bank.  Brokerage.  Or Financial Institution.  No matter how long you've dealt with them. Or how much you revere their name. You should ask to see their Commission & Fee Schedule. Before you venture out from checking,savings and CDs. Into the brave new world of stocks, bonds and mutual funds.

Let me repeat that.  Ask to see the Commission & Fee Schedule associated with their investment account. 

Here are all the gotchas that could be lurking there, if you don't.

• Commissions on Each Trade. Every time you buy or sell a stock, bond or other investment, you will pay a commission to make the trade. Since commissions vary - from $3 at Sogotrade to $7 at Scottrade to $9 at Etrade and TD Ameritrade, to upwards of that at Banks and other financial institutions, you want to know this in advance. So you can decide what you are comfortable with. Have a combined balance of $25,000 in all your accounts? Some banks like Wells Fargo and Bank of America will let you trade for free.  That's something you can look into as well. Either way, do your homework and find out about the commission structure ahead of time.

• Account Maintenance Fees.  Then there are Account Maintenance Fees.  Some institutions have this. Some don't. How to know?  The Fee Schedule should tell you.

• Inactivity Fees.  If your account is inactive - in other words, you do not buy or sell anything for a while, some will impose an inactivity fee. If you buy a few stocks and then sit on your hands, you can be slapped with this fee. You want to select a bank or brokerage that does not charge inactivity fees. Look at the Fee Schedule. See if it says that anywhere.

• Transfer Fees - If you want to close your account and move it to another bank or brokerage..., there's a charge for that as well.  Usually runs between $50 and $100.  Find out about it now.

2)  What are the expenses associated with this investment?
This refers to the investment itself.  Not the account.  For instance, mutual funds come in different flavors.  Managed mutual funds have higher expenses than indexed funds.  Load mutual funds will cost you more than no load mutual funds.  Ask about these costs and expenses.  You may decide you do not want to pay them.  Financial pundits like John Bogle & Warren Buffett recommend the average investor stick with indexed, no-load mutual funds for this reason.

3) What is the cost of getting out of this investment? 
I have already told you about the Transfer Fees you will incur if you want to move your account to another institution. In addition, depending on what kind of product you have bought into, you may have some hefty exit charges.  For instance, you should buy an annuity only after finding out what the surrender charges are in case you want to exit the annuity earlier than expected.  As a practice, you should ask about costs associated with getting out of every type of investment or account.  No matter what!

4) How do you get paid?
This is an uncomfortable question, but must be asked of the person you are dealing with at the bank, brokerage or financial institution.  Many financial advisers and sellers of insurance products such as annuities are paid entirely through commissions on sales.  So naturally they might be eager to sell you something that's not particularly in your interest.  This is why the the general recommendation is to deal with fee-only financial advisers. 

Asking these 4 questions before venturing into an investment account will save you money and heartache.  Write them down somewhere so you will have them when you need them.

Happy Investing in 2011.  May You Prosper & Thrive!

Yoga for Investors

Photo Courtesy: Tanita Jha

What if I told you there was an asana ( which is another name for a Yoga Pose) that would make you a better investor?

There really is.

If you practice this asana day in and day out, year in and year out, your investments will bring you more fruitful results.

Don't believe me?

When I found out about this asana, I was skeptical.

I didn't think it would work.

But I decided to give it a shot, anyway.

After faithfully practicing it for a few years now, I am convinced it works.

Ready to be let in on this secret asana?

It's called "Sitting on Your Hands Asana".

You will require the following to practice this asana.

First, you must be invested in a diversified basket of stocks, bonds and money market instruments.

You can throw in a small portion of precious metals as well. (I have listed a few resources at the end of this article for those who need help in building a portfolio).

Then you need a comfortable chair.

Note: This asana requires your hands to be immobilized for a lengthy period of time, so if you have carpal tunnel syndrome or arthritis, you should practice this asana after consulting with your physician.

Ready?

Ok, here we go...

Stand up in front of your comfortable chair.

Putting your hands behind you, lower yourself on to the chair so that you are seated on your hands when you sit on the chair.

You are now in the "Sitting on Your Hands" Asana.

This is the most effective asana for investors, once they have got their diversification and asset allocation right.

You should practice this asana daily.

You can add a chant "I Will Sit On My Hands", "I Will Sit On My Hands" for more impact.

But you MUST practice the asana every day.

When you see the market go up and down wildly...Sit On Your Hands.

When Nouriel Roubini and Meredith Whitney strike terror in your heart on the CNBC airwaves...Sit On Your Hands.

When a friend gives you a hot stock tip...Sit On Your Hands.

When you see some ads for some tempting High-Yield opportunities...Sit On Your Hands.

When a dear relative tells you about her day-trading success...Sit On Your Hands.

When an Options Trader tells you about the easy money he makes through trading options...Sit On Your Hands.

When the stock of a well-run and established company in your portfolio takes a dive because of a less than stellar quarter...Sit On Your Hands.

When you are tempted to cash in on your winners and hold on to your losers...Sit On Your Hands.

When the Republicans scare you about tax increases on capital gains, dividends and income and the Democrats scare you with more government spending...Sit On Your Hands.

Unless you really believe you know something others don't (and if you do either you are a genius, or it's  illegal)...Sit On Your Hands.

The "Sitting On Your Hands" Yoga Pose will protect you from your own worst enemy...

YOURSELF!

Note:  You should repeat the "Sitting On Your Hands" asana until you have internalized it.

Once you have, you can put your Lululemon Gear and Yoga Chair away.

But I will leave you with one final thought.

John Bogle of Vanguard says "Investments do better than Investors"

Wonder Why?

Simple.

Because few investors have mastered the art of "SITTING ON THEIR HANDS!"

Here's Your 25-Point Checklist for Success

Success is a familiar guest in Don Gootee's life, as someone who co-founded a successful Inc 500 company. 

Don says that business and monetary achievement are not the only measures of success.

This 25 point checklist  - sent as a New Year Greeting to his associates, employees, family and friends - sums up his philosophy of success.  I got his permission to guest post it. Hope you take as much inspiration from it as I did.

  

Success

When you hear “He/She is very successful” it is usually associated with business and monetary achievement. However the basis of success comes in many forms such as a good grade average in school,  making the sports team, becoming a good cook, getting a college degree, speaking-playing an instrument-or singing in front of a live audience, having the love-trust-and respect from your parents, having the love-trust-and respect from your children, having the love-trust-and respect from your friends, or maybe just being able to walk outside through the back door of your house onto a beach. Yes, that last point is usually associated with business and monetary achievement.

  

Success means many things to many people.  Regardless, success is a by-product of setting goals, working hard and achieving them in varying degrees. I suppose if you do not meet your goals you were not successful but that kills the flow to my message.

While there are many components to success, and you have heard them all, I have listed a few, which if you follow them as I have tried, may help you become “successful” in many areas of your life.

1. Love your family with all of your heart

2. Take the lead on forgiveness with family and friends 

3. Treat everyone you know and meet with respect

4.  Respect yourself

5.  Have confidence in yourself 

6.  Always conduct yourself with honesty and integrity

7.  Do not take yourself too seriously

8. Have good manners

Photo Courtesy: Ruth Garcia.  Model: Bucky

9.    Be nice to animals

10.   Do not be consumed with negativity (hopefully the glass is always half full and not half empty)

11.   Get as much education as possible and never stop learning

12.   Do things that make you and others laugh

13.   Be sensitive to the feelings of others

14.   Tackle a fleeing robber to the ground and hold them until the police arrive. Be careful on this one.

15.  If you are ever holding a fleeing robber until the police arrive, steal the robber’s watch. Who are the police going to believe? Just kidding. I am just trying to make myself and others laugh.

16.   In business, surround yourself with people as good or better than you

17.   Understand your weaknesses and improve on them if possible

18.   Understand your strengths and use them to their fullest

19.   Do not be afraid of hard work

20.   Do not be afraid of hard work, yes I repeated item 19

21.   Do not be afraid of success

22. Give back to your community and others however and whenever you can

23.  To meet your goals, do things outside of your comfort zone

24.   Do those things until they become comfortable

25.   While items 1 – 22 are very important, repeat items 23 and 24 as much as possible

Oh yeah, one other thing. Do not leave your money in the stock market when the market is tanking!

Don Gootee

January 2011

Can You Ace Your Profession, but Flunk Life?

(Photo courtesy:  Tanita Jha)

You're the pride of your parents.

And the envy of your classmates.

Your road to success has been paved with academic honors, business savvy, or both.

On the money and professional fronts, you give yourself an unqualified A+.

But how do you grade on life? 

Are you on a treadmill but do not recognize it as such?
Though it is encrusted with baubles from Tiffany, traveling First, the promise of making partner, or hefty bonuses, is it just a treadmill?

If the weekend can't come soon enough, and you experience stress rather than joy being on it, yes it is a treadmill.

If it's making you drink more, eat unhealthily, exercise less and feel exhausted, yes it is a treadmill.

Is Peace of Mind & Joy a more worthwhile goal than acquisitions or professional badges of honor, however coveted?

Is a trade-off due between a little less wealth and power and more health and sanity?

Are you in a two-income trap?
Just because both of you earn, does it mean both of you will always have to earn?

If your bills are higher than one income can meet, then yes, you are in a two-income trap.

What if you lived on one income and banked the other?

Wouldn't it be wonderful for either of you to take a time-out for whatever reason, when needed?

Are you and your partner so entrenched in the rat-race that having to "attend to the child" gets your wires crossed?
If you're not able to attend your sick child, go to her games and performances, interact with her meaningfully when you get home, then yes.....you are totally entrenched in the rat-race.
  
Are cars, houses, vacations, or professional and entrepreneurial brownie points more valuable to you than your involvement in your child's life?

Does it make sense to downshift and put your child first? You will never get the time with your child back.

Is your relationship with your family and friends threatened as a result of your professional life?

If you find it more and more difficult to make time for them, and all your waking thoughts and energy are on your professional life, then yes, your bonds with your family and friends are eroding and in danger of being compromised.

When you think about the fact that they know you best and will always be there for you...is it worth losing that for the temporary thrills of your professional life?

Would it be better to course correct and make up for lost ground and time? 

Are you either locked on a meaningless financial target, or trapped by the fear of being useless and putting off living life as a result of it?
If you have picked an arbitrary net-worth number, or are terrified by the idea of waking up and having nothing significant to do, then yes.

You are allowing yourself to be a prisoner of habit and whim, while your precious life drips away, drop by drop.

Does it make sense to stop counting the zeroes and to let go of your self-concept, letting new interests emerge organically, while you still have your health and faculties?

So how did you do on your Life Grades?

Not where you want to be?

Don't worry.  You can use the same determination that made you a professional success to get yourself to an "A".

Candid Postscript......the ideas in the post were stimulated by a conversation I had a few days ago with a very admirable gal who, to my mind, leads quite a balanced life. I was surprised to hear her say she thinks she may have flunked retirement because she went back to work after officially retiring.  She encouraged me to write this post.

What do you think?  What are the other ways people can flunk life and what can they do?  I would be very interested in your feedback.  

Click on comments at the end of this post to submit your valued thoughts about this.

My Day Job. Xactly. More or Less.

Photo Courtesy - Tanita Jha

A doctor.
A pilot.
A teacher.
An actor.
A fireman.
A waitress.
An animal trainer.
A cook.
A commissions analyst.
A commissions analyst...
....what the heck is that?

It's a Common Reaction...
I get that a lot.
I used to get that with my last career as well.
Few people knew what a "copywriter" did. 

Lifting the Curtain...
Sales people are paid commissions on sales.
The job of the Commissions Analyst is to figure out what to pay each sales person based on several different pieces of information.

The Different Pieces That Have To Be Put Together Are...
The salesperson's rate.
The salesperson's sales target.
The salesperson's geographic territory and accounts.
The salesperson's sales achievement.
The rules of the commission plan about who is eligible for commissions and when they get paid.
When commissions need to be taken back or reduced.
When credit for a sale has to be split between two or more people.
Who else should get credit for the salesperson's sales (The Sales Manager, a Customer Service Rep, Other Sales Support Staff).

Why it's often a hairball...
The rules of the  plan could be complicated. And usually are.
Often, there are different plans for different sales teams within the company.
Multiple territories, accounts, crediting rules, rates and targets can make it all quite complex.
And for every rule, there are so many exceptions to the rule.

Adventures in Excel...
Companies across America rely largely or entirely on Microsoft Excel to capture correct commission payments for their salespeople.
While, it is technically viable to get the job done with Excel (and I should know because it's my stock-in-trade), it is an unwieldy process, fraught with the risk of error.
And Excel Spreadsheets are not an ideal way to communicate with salespeople to let them know what they have been paid on.
Neither are they an ideal way to communicate with Sales Managers about how their teams are doing.

Change is in the Air (and has been for some time)...
However, over the past decade, several dedicated Commission Software Programs have come on the market - in response to the ever-increasing complexity  and challenges of managing sales commissions.
Tailor-made for the Sales Commissions Process, these programs are pure plays - designed to be used to model, analyze and pay commissions exclusively.

The Top Excel Challengers...
The leading products in this space are Xactly Incent, Callidus True Comp, Varicent & Merced. 

The Excel Caterpillar becomes an Xactly Butterfly...
I am on my way to transitioning from an Excel Commissions Analyst to an Xactly Commissions Analyst.
Over the past 6 months, I enrolled in and completed the Xactly Incent Admin Course, the Xactly Date Effectivity Course and the Xactly Document Management Course.
Hopefully, I will soon be able to put the knowledge gleaned from these courses to work.
I have signed on as a contractor with Solution Partners, an Xactly Implementations Company in Los Gatos, California and it looks promising.
I am open to other contract opportunities as well.

Xactly is Cloud Computing for Commissions...
It is a multi-tenant on-demand cloud-based application.  Quite the opposite of the client-server systems in use today.
If that sounds terribly technical, this analogy might explain it...

Xactly is to Commissions Administration what Netflix is to Video Rentals
Which means it could put the Hollywood Video Stores of the Commissions Processing Industry out of business. And there are a few.

That's My Day Job...
I hope I've shone a little bit of light on what I do. You can get an even better idea of what's involved if you visit the Xactly website.

Candid Postscript:  Several months ago, I had to abandon a long-held job in Commissions Administration.  When you do something like that, you feel one or all of 3 things: 1) A failure  2) A weirdo 3) An irresponsible person.  Through my meditations, I have come to accept myself and be compassionate with myself about taking that step.  I hope if you are ever in a situation where your actions make you feel like a failure, a weirdo or an irresponsible person, you will be compassionate about yourself as well.  My Meditations, My Return to My Christian Roots, This Blog....none of this may have happened if not for this time-out from a job.

Postscript 2:  The one-time upfront costs for Xactly are 1)implementation 2)data management services if needed, and 3)training. After that, you pay by user by month, exactly like a Netflix subscription.

Related Post:

4 Decisions I Wish I Had Made Earlier

 

The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English teachers)

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

 

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

 4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.....

If you were able to read this with a straight face, then you are my hero (or you need to see a therapist, I am not sure which).

The ultimate test will be reading all the 25 gems in this article taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement - without cracking a smile. Good luck!

 The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)

The #1 Weight-Loss Recipe

 Eat Less.

Exercise More.

That's all there is to it!




But do plug in this formula as a reality check:

There are 3,500 calories in every pound.


So if your calorie burn = 100 calories per day.

And your calorie consumption is constant.....

How long will it take you to lose 1 pound?

3,500/100 = 35.

35 days of burning 100 calories a day will get you down a pound.

So if you burn 100 calories every day, or 200 calories every other day, and keep your calorie consumption constant, you will be 10lbs lighter this time next year. Yeh!!!!!!! 

  

If you change your eating habits (reducing what you eat, or changing what you eat), your results will be even better. 

One of my previous posts may have a few ideas on that:  http://minoojha-actionableideas.blogspot.com/2010/12/4-healthy-eating-ideas-for-2011-from-my.html .

You could also look at ideas from thought leaders.

Ray Kurzweil comes to mind - one of the greatest living inventors of our time, he has written a book, the main idea of which is that reducing the fat in our diet by 10% can save your life.

If you want to know more about Ray, here's Ray's profile on TED.

Wishing you a Happy and Healthy (Exercise Filled) 2011!

A Retirement Planning Formula you won't find on Oprah

When it comes to Retirement or Estate Planning, you're on top of things.

Yeah, right!

Who can blame you?

It's hard to warm to the bunch of letters and numbers and legalese that comprises financial planning in the US.

401Ks, 403Bs, Traditional IRAs, Roth IRAs, Annuities, Revocable Trusts, Irrevocable Trusts,1031 exchanges...Ouch!!!!

Let's reach for the remote and see what's on Oprah or ESPN instead.

Honestly, I understand why retirement planning is such a turn-off.  I really do!

After all, you have to take the money you'd rather spend on the latest I-Phone or Home-Theater system or deck you want to add to your house, and squirrel it away for an unknown future.  And then there's all this stuff to understand on top of it.

Much nicer to push it to the back of your mind and watch Oprah interview Jenny McCarthy about her latest book instead.

Jenny who?  Sheesh, Minoo, you should know that - Jenny McCarthy is Jim Carrey's ex-wife!                                                                             

I was like you until a few years ago.

Then I woke up one day and said "my goodness, Minoo, look at all the time you've lost".

And I've been playing catch up ever since.

I don't want you to make the same mistake.

So I've decided to parcel out some simple retirement planning education.

A little bit at a time.

No heavy stuff today, I promise.

I will limit myself to talking about a SINGLE retirement formula which is really easy to grasp and remember.

Stay with me - I promise this won't be hard or complicated.

Question : How much will you need to have saved when you retire?

The Answer to that is this Formula:  

Annual Expenses x 25
 
It's that simple.

Take your current annual expenses.

Subtract those expenses you think you won't have when you retire (your mortgage, children's education costs, etc).

Add some money for those expenses you think might be higher in retirement - Medical & Vacation expenses come to mind.

And multiply the number you get by 25 (years you can expect to live after you retire).

That becomes your Personal Retirement Savings Target.

The amount you need to save for retirement.

The 'Number' you see referred to in bank ads such as the IngDirect ads is the same thing - Your Retirement Savings Target.

"The Number" is also the title and subject of a best-selling Retirement Planning book by Lee Eisenberg. You may want to read it when the remote comes unglued from your hand.

So what's your number?

Let's say Jenny McCarthy decides her annual expenses in retirement will be $100K per year.

Her Personal Retirement Savings Target is $100,000 x 25 = $2,500,000.

Or $2.5M.

That's what she will need to have saved by the time she stops working.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Want to figure out how much you will need to save in order to reach your number?

Use this Online Calculator from Finra.

What you discover could make you laugh.  Or cry.

Either way it will open your eyes.

Like it did mine.

Ok, lesson over.  Now you know what to do as soon as that remote comes unglued from your hand! 

If it ever does!:):) 

Please note, if your retirement savings are currently all in Bank CDs, you should enter a maximum of 1% or 2% for yield in the FINRA Calculator.

Also, please note:  A part of your retirement expenses will be met from your Social Security benefits.  You can subtract the Social Security amount from your expenses before multiplying by 25.

How to Be a Better Dad in 2011

3 Inspiring Role Models


Incredible Dad  #1  - Dick Hoyt

How much do you want your child to succeed and to what lengths will you go to help him?

Watch this video on You Tube to see the example set by Dick Hoyt.

The video speaks for itself.

I am sure you will find it inspiring.

Incredible Dad #2 - All the Dads belonging to the Aka Tribe in the Congo

Their story may make you want to buy a farm and raise your children at home.

The Aka children spend an incredible  47% of their time as infants with their dads at their side.

No wonder Aka fathers were officially named the Best Fathers in the World by Father's Direct, a UK information center on fatherhood.

Read about the dads in this incredible pygmy tribe who live in the African Congo here.

Incredible Dad # 3 - Azim Jamal & Harvey McKinnon

These dads paired up to write an incredible book called "the power of giving".

It is a guide to creating abundance at home, at work and in the community.

Expansive and yet down-to-earth, it includes real-world advice on how and what to give to your wife and children.

It is a wonderful book for everybody, not just dads. As reviewer Robin Sharma says:  "This powerful and inspiring book will help you live a more significant life and become more the person that you were meant to be"

Since this is a post about Dads,  I'd like to end it by giving a Happy 2011 shout-out to all Dads - New Dads, Soon-to-Be-Dads and Seasoned Dads.

May your children bring you joy through 2011 and beyond. And vice versa.

4 Lessons I Didn't Learn From a Certified Financial Planner

AND NEITHER WILL YOU.

What can a Certified Financial Planner do for you that you can't do yourself?

A Certified Financial Planner will help you invest your money in such a way so as to minimize the risk of you losing your money, while at the same time helping you grow your money so that it doesn't lose value as a result of inflation.  

Because stocks, bonds, real estate and commodities (which are referred to as asset classes) don't all go up in value or down in value at the same time,  a Certified Financial Planner will help you invest your money across all these asset classes.

The idea is that even if one asset class goes down, others will maintain their value or increase in value.

As a result, your investment account will remain on the plus side overall.

For managing your investment account or providing investment advice, a Certified Financial Planner will charge you either a flat fee, a percentage of assets under management, or earn money directly from the commissions on the stocks and bonds he or she invests your money in.

What a Certified Financial Planner can't do

Every once in a way, comes a system shock that a Certified Financial Planner won't be able to protect you from. The stock and real estate bubbles of the last decade are an example.

When a big system shock happens, and it has happened several times through history (you should read about the South Sea bubble and Tulip Mania when you have the time), the value of most or all capital assets will plunge.

Most will recover over time.  How long a period of time will depend on the magnitude and length of the run-up.

But some investments will go to $0.

These will include companies that were a good idea on paper but had no revenue. Like the many dot.bombs of the turn of the century.

But they could also include solid companies which made the wrong decisions at the wrong time and couldn't extricate themselves successfully. 

Lehman Brothers is a classic example.  A Wall Street stalwart, it nevertheless collapsed in the CDO debacle of this decade and its stock became worthless in 2008.  Ouch!

So what's an investor to do?

Ask about Index Funds  -- which are baskets of stocks or bonds. They offer far more safety than individual stocks and bonds.

While Index Funds do not protect you from market risk or macroeconomic risk, they will protect you from individual stock risk. Your money cannot go to $0 as in the Lehman example above.

Not surprisingly, professional investors like Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway and Jack Bogle of the investment management company Vanguard advise investors who don't have time to pay attention to their investments to stick with Index Funds.

Most of us fall in this category.

But back to sharing with you the 4 lessons I didn't learn from a Certified Financial Planner.

These lessons are intended to save you from some of the mistakes I made as a new immigrant to the US. 

The information will also apply to anyone who is just out of college and starting their financial life.

Feel free to pass it on to whoever you think might benefit from it.

Members of community associations like Kannada Koota of Northern California, Northern California Mangalorean Association and other such community associations come to mind. New immigrants to the Bay Area might be expected to join these associations.

Moving on to Lesson No.1 that I didn't learn from a Certified Financial Planner...

Fill your W4 incorrectly and it could be a ticking time bomb

When you go to work for a company, the payroll  department gives you a form to fill called a W4.

The W4  is published by the IRS and it is used to determine how much federal and state tax should be taken out of your fortnightly or monthly paycheck.

If you fill this incorrectly, it will explode on you come tax time.

How so?

Simply, you may put too many deductions on it for your income, your tax bracket and your tax status.

If you do that, the payroll department will deduct less tax from your paycheck than required.

And you will underpay your taxes throughout the year.

Then when April 15 rolls around, your tax return will indicate you owe the IRS a chunk of money - with penalties. Ouch.

It happened to me.

In my fresh-off-the-plane-from-India days, I found myself owing $4000 to the IRS at tax-time because of an improperly filled W4.

So how does one go about understanding how to fill the W4 correctly?

I would advise you to spend some time understanding the tax code through J K Lasser's books or Fairmark.com.

You can also ask someone you trust.

But one way or another, get your W4 right.....to avoid any nasty surprises come April 15.

On to Lesson No. 2  learned through the school of hard knocks rather than from a Certified Financial Planner...

When you owe back-taxes to the IRS, the IRS installment plan may not be the smartest decision

If you have no liquid cash, your first instinct might be to use the IRS installment plan to pay your back taxes.

This may not be the smartest decision.

Because the IRS will charge you interest on the unpaid taxes.

Whereas if you can open a 0% APR credit card, you can pay off the IRS balance effectively avoiding these interest charges.

So if you are good with managing credit, check your mail for 0% credit card offers if you are ever in the situation of owing the IRS and don't have the cash to pay it off.

On to Lesson No 3....

"No Credit" is worse than "Bad Credit"

This was a real shocker for me.

Here I was, paying everything with cash or a debit card in my first couple of years in the US and feeling quite superior as a result of it - only to pay the price of being declined by every single company for an auto loan when I needed to buy a car.

Here's why.

Companies that provide auto loans need to run a credit check to approve you for an auto loan.

Since I hadn't made purchases of any kind with credit and in fact, didn't possess a credit card, I had no credit history for them to go on.

And so I was DECLINED. With a capital D.

I can't tell you how mad that made me.

Especially when the memory was still warm in my mind of being  back in India and being invited by Diners Club to take out one of their credit cards -which, in those days had the exclusivity of  receiving an invitation for the American Express Black.

Anyhow, long story short, I had to take out a secured credit card for a year to build up a credit history.

And then only did I become eligible for an unsecured credit card and for the car loan.

A humiliating, but educative experience.

Bottomline - "No Credit" is worse than "Bad credit".

So build up your credit history without delay.  Make some purchases on credit.

Then you won't be denied an auto loan or a housing loan - when you need it.

And my final lesson for you today is....

Watch out for taxes on "phantom income" with ESPP sales

Yes, strange as it sounds, this can happen with ESPP sales.

You could buy shares under your company's Employee Stock Purchase Plan and sell the shares for a loss. 

And then have to pay taxes on the "phantom income" generated by the sale.

Ouch. How could that be?

Your company would have granted you the shares at a discount to market price.  A 15% discount is typical.

It is this 15%  discount that becomes taxable if you sell the shares before 2 years have elapsed.

Like your salary, bonus and time-off which are all considered part of your income, so too the espp discount.

Keep this in mind when you make an ESPP sale.

So you are not taken aback by the "phantom income" from the discount that shows up on your W2. Like I was the first time it happened.

Note - you will need to separately report the loss on Schedule D of your tax return based on the 1099-B you receive from the broker who executed the sale.

Sounds confusing? Don't worry - there's a wealth of information available online on ESPP sales.

Visit Fairmark.com, Investopedia, Motley Fool, Turbo Tax or your broker's website and you will find this information.

These are 4 money lessons I learned the hard way.

But hopefully you will never have to.

Especially if you have a good memory for what you read and hear like my friend Sharon does.

Wishing you a Happy and Successful 2011.

6 steps to launching a successful business

Tired of being a wage slave?

Yearning to strike out on your own?

Follow these 5 steps to make your dream a reality:

Step 1 - Pick up the courage

This is the hardest part.  Getting over the fear.

It may help you to read  this article by Steve Pavlina on 10 reasons why you should never get a job.

It will also help you to read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad pooh poohs the traditional route to wealth - go to college, get a job, buy a house, acquire some fancy cars, and holiday once a year in an exotic location.

And urges you to think entrepreneurially instead.

Kiyosaki hammers this point through several books, tv programs, seminars, board games, coaching programs and columns - all targeted at lighting a fire under you.

I have seen the power of his message in action.

My friend Nadya read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and played the board game Cash Flow a few years ago.

Before you could say the words "Escape from the Rat Race",  she was hightailing it into her own business with all the speed of a bandit being hounded by a posse of policemen.

She is currently the owner of a 6-person board and care in scenic Klamath Falls, Oregon and also owns 2 property rentals.  And she will be the first to tell you that Kiyosaki got her moving.

Step 2 - Find your Passion  

Whether it's unearthing a market niche your current employer's product does not tap into.

Or turning a hobby you enjoy into a full-time vocation. 

Or putting one of your talents into service...

...it is important to find your passion...

So you can apply yourself wholeheartedly to whatever business you start.

Here's a book which can help you find and embrace that passion:  Zen and the Art of Making a Living.  

It is an intimidating 550 pages long. But at the end of reading it, I can guarantee you that you will be inspired to embrace all that you are in your sphere of work.

Step 3 - Discover your Business Purpose

What is your purpose in starting your business? Who are you going to serve?  What product or service are you going to provide your customers?

Why do you believe your customers will want your product or service?  Is there an unmet need?  Do you plan to offer something better than what currently exists?

Why do you think you are cut out for this business?

You should ask yourself these questions - because you need to be passionate about the purpose of your business as well.

Your passion for your business will be the key to feeling successful and fulfilled, irrespective of the money you make and the challenges that arise along the way.

Step 4 - Lay the Groundwork

Once you've decided on a business, you will need to get info and guidance.

If you are currently employed in the same field, you are probably in good shape.

But what if you are treading new ground?

You will need to get a handle on everything that's involved.

From the capital required, to the regulatory compliances, to the manpower, the margins, the logistics, and the obstacles you might encounter. All the info that can make or break you.

The internet is a rich resource for information. You should use it as much as you can.

Let's say you decide to start a gourmet food truck.

What information might you find on the Internet?

How about  this invaluable information on starting a food truck  which you can find on the American Express Open Forum?

It would also benefit you to talk to others in the same business.

And finally you should meet with SCORE, which is part of SBA.Gov.

SCORE is a non-profit association of 11,500 volunteer business counselors, ready and available to offer you counsel, advice and mentoring.

And who may even be able to help you with financing.

All you have to do is locate the nearest SCORE office to you (available on their website). And schedule an appointment.

Don't ignore this valuable free resource.

You will feel so much more sure-footed if you add SCORE's advice and resources on top of the information and resources you've put together on your own.

Step 5 - Line Up Your Ducks

Finally, you will need to line up your ducks.

Get your license. Open your bank account. Secure your line of credit. Get a D&B D-U-N-S number. Locate your suppliers and vendors.  Buy the necessary equipment and install it.

Only then should you consider hanging out your shingle.

When you are ready ......tantarara......all that's left is to......

Step 6 - Inform the world you are open for business

Yeh!!! Wishing you a happy, fulfilling and successful 2011!!!

Jobless or Self-Employed in California?

Here are 4 Free or Low-Cost Ways to Get Health Care for Your Child. 

It might make sense to get your child covered separately from you and your spouse.

Read on....   

Note: This information is applicable to California residents.  Similar or better options may be available in other states.  You should research all the options wherever you are located.   

1. Medi-Cal for Families:

Medi-Cal for Families is for those families with little to none, or very low income. Examples would be those whose unemployment benefits have expired. Or those who are self-employed, or run a small business and have minimal or even negative income(the cash-burn, no-revenue mode of most start-ups).  

Income Limits: The income limits are a maximum of $750 a month for a family of 2, $934 per month for a family of 3, and $1,100 per month for a family of 4.

Who can get coverage: Children living in California up to their 21st birthday.

Coverage:  Medical, Dental & Vision 

Coverage Cost:  Free.

Treatment Cost: Free.

Plans and Providers:  Medi-Cal will send you a directory of Providers in the mail once they approve your application.

2. Healthy Families:

Healthy Families is for those who are above the income limits to qualify for Medi-Cal.

Income Limits: The income limits are different for different ages and different family sizes - maximum income is $3,036 per month for a family of 2 with children between 6 and 18 years of age. And maximum income is $4,594 per month for a family of 4 with children between 6 and 18 years of age.

Who can get covered?: Children living in California who are under 19 years of age, who have not been covered by group health insurance in the past 3 months, who meet the immigration guidelines of Healthy Families, and who do not qualify for Medi-Cal.

Also pregnant women who have not been covered by group health insurance in the past 3 months, who meet the immigration criteria and who do not qualify for Medi-Cal.

Coverage:  Medical, Dental & Vision

Coverage Cost: Depending on which income category you fall in (there are 3 income categories), your premium will be $4 per child per month, $8 per child per month or $24 per child per month.

Treatment Cost: Free, or $5 per service.  Maximum out-of-pocket limit - $250 per family per year.

Plans and Providers:  There are different plans and providers in each county.  In San Francisco County, there's Blue Shield, Healthnet, San Francisco Health Plan and Kaiser Permanente. 

3. Kaiser Child Health Plan:

Kaiser Child Health Plan is for those who do not income qualify for either Medi-Cal or Healthy Families. 

Income Limits: The income limits are different for different family sizes.  To give you an idea, a family of four can have a maximum income before taxes of $66,150 to qualify.

Who can get covered?: Children living in California who are under 19 years of age, do not have any employer-based insurance, and do not qualify for Healthy Families or Medi-Cal. 

Coverage:  Medical, Dental & Vision 

Coverage Cost: Minimum of $8 per child per month, maximum of $15 per child per month, depending on gross annual income before taxes. 

Treatment Cost: $5 for most services. Medicines - $5 for generic, $20 for brand name (100 day supply).  Maximum out-of-pocket limit - $250-$500 per family per year.

4. Kaiser HSA High-Deductible Health Plan:

If you do not qualify for Medi-Cal, Healthy Families or the Kaiser Child Health Plan...

Then you will need to choose between your Cobra coverage.

Or an individual health plan from one of the HMOs or private insurers.

The Kaiser Permanente HSA approved High-Deductible Health Plan  is one option.

It is one of 3 kinds of plans offered by HMOs and private insurers.  The 3 kinds of plans available in the healthcare market are copay plans, high deductible plans and HSA approved high-deductible plans.

Since the high-deductible plans have the lowest premiums, I have chosen to feature one of those.

The plan featured has the words HSA in its name.

This indicates you can open an HSA tax-sheltered account along with the plan.

An HSA account is a tax-sheltered account, in which you can save money for your health expenses.

You incur no tax for the interest, dividends or appreciation of the money in the account, if you withdraw the money for approved health expenses.

So HSA plans offer 2 tax benefits - tax-deductible premiums and the option to open a tax-sheltered HSA account.

However, with all the tax benefits, you may find the cheapest high-deductible health plan for your child rather pricey.

For instance, the most economical HSA plan offered by Kaiser is the 40/4000NM.

It comes with $40 copays,  a deductible of $4000 per year (ouch), and a maternity exclusion.

The premium for this plan is $95 per month for a teen, and you will need to pay out of pocket for all visits,  tests, treatments and medicines until your deductible of $4000 is met.

However, since going uncovered is not an option - it could devastate you financially,  you should call Kaiser at 1-800-245-318  and explore the plan. It may turn out to be your most cost-effective option.

It is very important you select any plan with your eyes wide open, since there's a lot to understand and digest  --  the deductible, the copays, the coinsurance, the exclusions, and more.

Also, Blue Shield of California, HealthNet and Aetna also offer individual health plans.  You don't have to go with Kaiser.

E-surance can help you compare between the plans of different providers and select the right one.  You can spare yourself the hassle of researching plans by yourself using their services.

E-surance says it can get you an approval in 11 minutes.

So there you have it - these are the 4 ways to get Health Care for Your Child in sunny (right now rather rainy, actually) California.

Hope you find one a plan for your child that's right for you.

Don't delay. Both your child's health and your money are on the line.

Wishing you and your family a Healthy and Happy 2011.

5 Secrets to Buying a Used Car With Confidence

How do you buy a used car with total confidence?  Read on... 

1. Let Consumer Reports be your guide

You could be tempted to dive right into the classifieds at Craigslist , Vehix, Car Max or Yahoo Autos.

Or to make a beeline to the nearest Auto Dealer and ogle at the used cars on their lot.

Resist the urge.

Consumer Reports is where you should begin.

If you are not familiar with Consumer Reports, get ye to their website immediately.  And start asking around about them.

Don't be surprised if your comrades go "What!!! You don't know about Consumer Reports!!!!! - in which parallel universe have you been existing?"

Consumers value Consumer Reports - because their reliability ratings for cars are based on impartial & objective tests and surveys.

Comparatively speaking,  Consumer Reports is to cars what The FDA is to Food & Drugs.

Or what The GoodHouseKeeping Seal  is to Cosmetics & Cleaners.

Or what UL is to the Safety of Electrical Products.

Need I say more?

You can either buy the eagerly awaited Car Issue of Consumer Reports which comes out in April every year. It will cost you between $12 and $15.

Or you can subscribe to Consumer Reports for $29 on their website, and get 12 issues, covering consumer ratings for all sorts of products from cameras to gps' to cellphones.  Why not get the prized April Car Issue plus 11 other information packed issues if you can?

Can't wait for April, 2011?  No problem. Get a hold of the 2010 Consumer Reports Car Issue in that case. Check your local library.  Ask a friend.

And you can also check other sources of information online.

I like to check at least 3 sources of information for high-ticket purchases.  So when I bought my car last year, I checked both Edmunds.com and Kelly Blue Book, besides Consumer Reports.

2.  Try Before You Buy

Once you have a shortlist of your preferred makes and models based on Consumer Reports, what then?

Check Craigslist ,Yahoo Autos, Vehix &Car Max?

Sure you can do that.  It will give you an idea of what's out there. And how much it's going to cost you.

But a more novel idea would be to try before you buy.

Am I suggesting you take the car for a test-ride?  Sure, any seller will let you do that.

No, it's something more novel and revolutionary than that.

Like test-driving the car for a whole 1-3 days.

You're going "what!!!!!!  How's that even possible?"

But it is.  Hertz has come out with a novel program called Hertz Rent to Buy which lets you do just that. You can check it out here.

How it works is you rent any of their for-sale cars for 1-3 days.  If you like the car, you can buy it for the price you saw online when you booked it.  The rental charges are waived.

If you don't like the car, you just pay the rental charges and walk away.

Pretty cool deal!

You will find every and any car available - from a $8,700 used Kia Spectra to a $18,000 used Toyota Prius to a $30,000 used Mercedes Benz, all young in years and with low miles.

The Hertz Rent to Buy Program is one of the best things to happen to car-buying in recent years to my mind and I highly recommend it. I bought my current car - a 2008 Hyundai Elantra through Hertz Rent to Buy.

I realize that many folks are terrified of ex-rentals.  You shouldn't be.  Car-rental companies maintain their cars much better than the average car owner.

3.  Get a Vehicle History Report On Any Car You Are Interested In

Buying a Used Car used to be a minefield. What if the car was in an accident?  Or suffered flood damage?  Or had its odometer rolled back to make it look like it was less used than it actually was? How would you even know?  The third secret to buying a used car with total confidence is using Car Fax or Auto Check --  to get a vehicle history report on the car you are going to buy.

Car Fax and Auto Check have vehicle history reports for every single car that is available for sale in America.

Plan to buy a used car from a dealer or a private party? Often, you can request these reports from the dealer or private party for free

If not, you can always sign up to get unlimited reports on any number of cars for a period of 3 months from either Car Fax or Auto Check.  Sign up with them directly.

I signed up with Auto Check, because at the time, they had the better deal on unlimited reports, but you can use Car Fax or Auto Check with equal confidence.

I paid $44 for a 5 month unlimited report from Auto Check and I must have checked atleast 75 cars over a 2 and a half month period.

Gone are the days when you had to cross your fingers, say your prayers and hope for the best.

With the availability of Car Fax and Auto Check, you can't go wrong.

4. Get the car checked by a reputed mechanic before you buy

One final step to buying a used car with confidence -   making sure a reputed mechanic or auto shop checks it out.

How?

Look no further than AAA.

They have a Vehicle Inspection Services  program for Used Cars which is just what you need.

For $99 (member price), they will do an 86-point inspection on your car. 

I got my Hyundai Elantra  inspected by AAA's Vehicle Inspection Services  during the 3 day rental period.  It was so worth it.

The car came out with flying colors.

Well, almost.  The inspection uncovered a few things:  The rear window brake light was out. The rear tires had only 40% tread remaining.  And the transmission fluid was dirty.

Armed with the AAA report, I went to Hertz and got them to fix the brake light, replace the back tires with new tires, and do a transmission fluid service before I bought the car. Yeh!

To sum up....

Research car makes and models (with Consumer Reports).  Try before you buy (with Hertz Rent to Buy). Check your car's history (with Auto Check or Car Fax). And get your car inspected by a mechanic (with AAA Vehicle Inspection Services) - those are the secrets to buying a Used Car With Confidence.

Oops did I miss a secret?  The Fifth Secret is You.  You are the key to every decision you make.  You decide whether to approach every decision blindly, or with knowledge, with discipline or haphazardly, with the short term or the long term in mind.  Keep that powerful thought in mind as you go through 2011 making decisions about your car, your job, your investments, your health, your relationships, your family, your community and country, or your beliefs.

Happy Car Shopping!  And please, please stay safe on the road in 2011.