How do you help a client who has reached their goal weight, but still sees their "old self" in the mirror?

This is where therapy and self-help books are useful.

A self-help classic, (one of the 50 classic self-help books, according to some lists like the Butler-Bowdon list) is Psycho-Cybernetics.

It was written by Maxwell Maltz, a renowned plastic surgeon.

He wrote Psycho-Cybernetics, because he discovered that not all self-esteem problems can be solved by correcting physical flaws.

Some of his patients suffered from low self-esteem problems, even after they underwent plastic surgery, and the flaw that they thought their low self-esteem was due to, was corrected.

Psycho-Cybernetics contains other strategies to boost self-esteem.

You can find a short summary of the book on websites like Short Form.

You can also find the entire PDF of Psycho-Cybernetics online.

I would also recommend the book The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, if the client is a woman, because women have their own unique set of problems, related to societal expectations of what they are supposed to be like, and what lives they are expected to be happy with.

It is a huge relief when we are able to shake off our self-esteem problems, and our eyes are opened to the fact that what we think is the problem, is not the problem.

And this is what you should aim to do - open their eyes to the fact that weight loss is not the whole answer.

“Bad leads to good”, as I often say.

Your client had to succeed at the weight loss, for both you and them to realize, that their problem is not purely cosmetic.

It is a generalized dissatisfaction problem.

The dissatisfaction will go away, or reduce, only when your client makes meaningful progress in the area of the dissatisfaction.

So my advice is to start by familiarizing yourself with Psycho-Cybernetics and The Feminine Mystique.

Then guide your client towards non-cosmetic improvements in their life.

It is a relief when we can give up our self-absorption and self-indulgence, both of which cast a dark shadow on the life of someone with low self-esteem.

What are some unexpected places or people I got great writing advice, or inspiration from, and how did it help me in my writing?

One, was a book called Write for Your Lives by Joseph Sestito, a practicing Buddhist.

I started my blog in 2010, and I read this book in 2014.

Before reading it, I used to fret excessively about each post, especially when I was getting ready to publish it on my blog.

Joseph Sestito’s book helped me free myself from that.

I think about this book, every time I start to fret about my writing.

Thank you, Write for Your Lives.

Minoo Jha

· 2y

What are the downsides to a person being a striver?

Hollow victories. I speak from personal experience. Once upon a time there was a girl. She looked around her and decided she needed to be certain things in order to feel worthwhile. “I need to be stylish” she said to herself. “I need to be thin.” “I need to be funny.” “I need to be clever.” “I need to be thrilling.” “I need to be original.” “I need to be successful.” “I need to be rich.” The girl threw herself hither and tither in many different directions in order to be all of these things. She tried many different diets and exercise programs. She read joke books. She studied the dictionary and practiced IQ tests. She thought of clever things to say. She worked hard to improve her skills. She changed jobs and rose up the ladder. She read relationship books and parenting books. She developed her tastes in music and literature and the good things in life. She left no stone unturned. But whatever the girl did, satisfaction and fulfillment was just out of her reach. When she asked herself, “am I stylish enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I successful enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I rich enough?” the answer was no. When she asked herself, “am I a good enough mother and a good enough spouse?” the answer was no. The girl found that in spite of how far she had come and all she had achieved, there were many things missing from her life. Happiness was missing - she was easily dejected. Fulfillment was missing - her victories felt empty. Self-control was missing - she would lose it at the drop of a hat. Peace was missing - she felt stressed and anxious most of the time. Energy was missing - she didn't have enthusiasm or passion for anything. Security was missing - she felt dread and anxiety when she thought about the future. Above, all she felt trapped in an endless cycle of keeping up - with the job, with the bills, with the house, with being a good mother, a good employee, a good spouse, and above all, her image. Then one day, the girl woke up. She realized she had been borrowing other people's ideas of a worthwhile life. She realized energy, peace, equanimity, self-control and security was what she wanted most and it would not come from pursuing wealth, approval, status or conformity. She realized being at peace and living a harmonious life was more important than being stylish, rich, clever or successful, or fitting in with the crowd. She decided to go her own way. Immediately, a weight was lifted off of her. She was free to do all the things she wanted to do without any false ideal or standard to conform to. She could go to work and focus on doing a good job, not getting ahead. She could have a conversation with people and not worry about whether she was coming across as uninformed or uncultured. She could meet people and not fret about her appearance. She could be who she was and make the decisions she wanted to and not worry about being judged. She could focus on meaning and authenticity rather than impression and image in all her interactions. That girl was me. Do you want to be like that? Raise your hand, if you do. How do you do that? You do that by waking up from trying to be Ms. Perfect living the “perfect life”. Perfection is the enemy of our peace, our equanimity, and our tranquility. If we let it raise its head, it can make us feel miserable about everything we do and all areas of our life. And it will keep our wheels stuck in the sand. If I aimed for perfection every time I sat down to write an article on my blog, it would never get off the ground. I would ask myself - “Is this funny enough?” “Is this clever enough?” “Is this thrilling enough?” “Is this special enough?” “Is this original enough?” “Does it have enough witticisms?” Of course, the answer would be no. I am not good with jokes. My thoughts are rarely original. And I can't come up with a witticism to save my life. So I would spend oodles of time trying to compensate by perfecting a sentence here, or a phrase there. And all I would be doing by that is spinning my wheels, indulging in what Joseph Sestito, author of Write for Your Lives, calls “self-cherishing”. Self-cherishing is focusing on the impression we want to make rather than the ideas we want to communicate. The downside of being a striver is that you can become so focused on striving, you can forget what it is you are striving for. At bottom, what we all want is a worthwhile life. But each of us needs to separately think what that means to us. Because borrowing your idea of a worthwhile life may leave me feeling unfulfilled and empty. And borrowing my idea of a worthwhile life may leave you feeling unfulfilled and empty. If everyone is buying houses, is buying a house essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. If everyone is buying fancy cars, does it mean buying fancy cars is essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. If everyone has a partner, does it mean having a partner is essential to a worthwhile life? Only you can answer that for yourself. The answer was no for me. So my advice to strivers is to know what it is you are truly striving for. Craft a personal definition of success

Second unexpected place was my advertising career, and the writing advice I got from reading books by advertising greats such as David Ogilvy, and learning through the experience of being a practicing advertising copywriter, what combination of words and images works, and what doesn’t.

One of the first things to go was my “Shashi Tharoor big words” habit, a habit I thought made me sound stylish, articulate, and well-bred, which I later understood was also related to the Mangalorean Catholic culture, I was born into.

Minoo Jha

· 7y

What are some unique things about your culture?

Hi, You asked, What are some unique things about your culture? I am a Mangalorean Catholic. Mangalorean Catholics pride themselves on their vocabulary and if they have to choose between a big word and a small word, they always choose the big word. I wrote a post on my blog about this. Reprinting it below in full for your amusement. The Mangalorean & The Big Words When my daughter was younger (10 years younger than she is now), she made the observation that Mangaloreans (yours truly included) use extra big words when they speak. So I thought it might be fun to do a “How Would a Mangalorean Say?” post (with a little bit of exaggeration here and there for added flavor). Here goes... Normal Person: My kids play together while I work. Mangalorean: The offspring entertain each other while I attend to my business affairs. Normal Person: Be back soon after changing my clothes. Mangalorean: I will return presently in more suitable attire. Normal Person: Can I say something? Mangalorean: Can I interject with an opinion? Normal Person: Did you see any animals while walking? Mangalorean: Did you encounter any wildlife on your trails? Normal Person: I have to use the bathroom. Mangalorean: I need to utilize the facilities. Normal Person: Can you help me? Mangalorean: Can you provide me with the necessary assistance? Normal Person: I am thinking of visiting India. Mangalorean: I am contemplating a visit to the motherland. Normal Person: I would like to climb Mt Everest one day. Mangalorean: I am desirous of scaling the heights of Mt. Everest. Normal Person: That was a great meal. Mangalorean: That was a gastronomical delight. Normal Person: Can I get back to you? Mangalorean: Can I formulate an appropriate response? P.S. If you know someone (Mangalorean or not) who talks like that and have examples of your own to share, send them on to me for my collection and possible future publishing on my blog...thanks. P.S. After publishing this post, I was afraid to attend an NCMA event. What if they threw "sannas" at me?

I realized this after attending and volunteering at numerous Bay Area events hosted by my community.

A third unexpected place was from learning to meditate.

The book that helped me learn to meditate was a book written by 2 neuroscientists, called How God Changes Your Brain.

This book helped me become a low maintenance person.

In a few months of reading How God Changes Your Brain, and learning to meditate, I also started my blog.

Meditation helped me give up the self absorption and self indulgence, which had blocked the flow of ideas and words for 14 years.

Yes, I got back to writing after a break of 14 years!

Minoo Jha

· 7y

Why does taking a break from learning an activity seemingly make you better when you come back to it?

Hi, Why does taking a break from learning an activity seemingly make you better when you come back to it? It totally does. It apparently has something to do with allowing the subconscious to contribute to the process. Nowhere is this truer than in being able to generate ideas. I know from experience. Read on… Picture Courtesy: EssJay (Flickr) Each one of us is an ideas machine. The combination of our experience, our circumstances, all the things we have seen, heard, read and been exposed to, our unique genetic make-up, our education, our knowledge, and our skills, gives us the potential to produce a unique idea. Actually, to produce an unlimited quantity of unique ideas. Every advertising creative knows this. As idea after idea is rejected for the campaign we are working on, we are able to come up with yet another idea; and then yet another idea - until we arrive at the one idea everyone believes will work – the one which will go to print or production. Every serial inventor or entrepreneur – (Ray Kurzweil, Elon Musk, Reed Hoffman, or any of the other people who have founded multiple companies, or come up with multiple products) knows this. Once you come up with an idea for a second invention or start a second company, you know you have the power to do it again. So if each one of us is an idea-generating machine, why do we get stuck and what will get us unstuck? I thought about this a lot during the 14 years, when I did not and could not write. My first career was in writing. After writing a few freelance pieces for the local newspaper, and one or two magazines (this was back in India), I was discovered by a friend of one of my siblings. She got me my first copywriting job in an ad agency (Thank you Mela). For the rest of time, I was in India, I was a copywriter, and made a living out of writing for the Indian affiliates of J Walter Thompson, Bozell, and Saatchi and Saatchi. I even set up my own creative shop. Then I came to the US. I was not able to break into advertising. So I took up a sales admin job at Palm, and then, by sheer accident, ended up becoming their Commissions Analyst. Whether it was the fact of dealing purely with numbers in my new role, or the stress of raising a young child, I stopped writing. It bothered me. Where had that person gone? I would get an idea for a story or article, and I would pick up a pen. I would write a couple of lines, but the motivation and inspiration would completely dry up. I would stare at the blank paper hopelessly. People would say to me, “Minoo, you used to be so good at writing, you really should get back into writing.” I would nod my head and say “I know,” but inside my head, I would think, “those days are over for me. Maybe my previous career was just luck.” And then it happened. On December 27, 2010, I created a blog on Google Blogger, and published my first post on it. Why after 14 years of not being able to write, was I suddenly able? What had happened? Do you want to guess? The title of this post gives a clue. I had been given the accidental gift of a creative pause. Here’s the story…. I gave up my last full-time employment in June of 2010. I did the Xactly Administrators Course 2 months later, and signed a contract with Solution Partners to join their Xactly Implementation Team. But other than doing an FRD (Functional Requirements Document) for a project which got put on hold, I did not do any other work, and was to remain professionally idle for the next 7 months. I now realize this idleness was the gift of gifts. Because the next thing I knew, I had learned to meditate. Just like that. I read a book (my post Connected Minds tells the story) and followed the meditation technique from the book. I never looked back. Meditation became a daily activity in my life, starting from that time. The next thing I knew, I was blogging. On December 27, 2010, I published my first post 4 Decisions I Wish I Had Made Earlier. Even while writing it, I wondered “Is this a flash in the pan? What if I can’t keep it up?” It felt awkward and clumsy to write after all that time. But the impulse was there and I followed it. This time the inspiration didn’t dry up after the first two lines. And the inspiration didn’t dry up after the first post; or the first few posts; or the first few months; or the first year. Just like with my meditation, I never looked back. Blogging became a regular activity in my life starting from that time. From my experience, I can confidently say we are all idea-generating machines. And the only thing holding us back from being the idea-generating machines we are meant to be, may be a creative pause. In fact, we may need regular creative pauses. Because when we are caught up in the humdrum and buzz of routine life, and all its mundane demands, it’s hard to get the idea machine going. See, ideas are not like horses you can go after with a lasso (John Wayne style). They are just neurons, firing, and lighting up, and colliding against other neurons in your brain. And for whatever reason (another wonder of nature), they need you to relax - go fishing, take a walk in the park (Newton), jump into a shower or a bath-tub (Archimedes), open a hymn book in church (Arthur Fry of Post-it Notes fame). This suggests we should welcome creative pauses in our lives, even intentionally create them. Want to come up with a new business idea? Go on a nature hike. Want to write a book? Seclude yourself in a quiet place with nothing but your thoughts. Want to create something new? Go fishing. Your thoughts are not to be underestimated. Thoughts did not let down all the inventors and entrepreneurs and authors and artists through history. Why would you think they would let you down? So take a walk. Go fishing. Go on a hike. Become unemployed. Go to prison. Get sick. “Minoo, what are you talking about – become unemployed, go to prison, get sick? Have you gone insane?” No, I am serious. Any stretch of completely unstructured time, in which you are alone with your thoughts, can turn on the idea-generating machine. Remember, it was precisely because I was unemployed, and had oodles of time on my hands, the muse came back. I might never have rediscovered my creativity, were I not twiddling my thumbs for 7 straight months. It helped that I had an emergency cushion and lived a simple life. If you have an emergency cushion and can live simply, a spell of unemployment can be just the ticket to get your idea-machine going. Let’s not forget J K Rowling was a single mother on welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter book. What ideas can be conceived in a prison cell? Anything. After all, you are alone with your thoughts. Chuck Colson, were he alive, would testify. During his 8 month sentence in a federal prison for his role in the Watergate scandal, he came up with the idea for his nationally famous Prison Ministry. I also mention getting sick. Does that sound weird? It is not weird at all. Many famous books and ideas originated in someone’s head when they were on their sick bed. My post The Gift of Time mentions one such. Interestingly, this post you are reading, was written by me from my sickbed. I had a full blown migraine yesterday and had to take to bed. But as I was lying down, resting off the headache, thoughts would come to me, so I would get up, scribble them down, and fall back into bed. I wrote almost 60% of this post from my sickbed yesterday. Could migraines be a gift from the universe? Hmmm… I repeat, any stretch of completely unstructured time, in which you are alone with your thoughts, can turn on the idea-generating machine. So I hope you will welcome these pauses when you get them, and even intentionally create them. Don’t be anything less than the idea-generating powerhouse you were meant to be. Begin the process of regular creative pauses and experience the thrill of continuous creation.

2010 was a year of many remarkable new things for me.

I read How God Changes Your Brain, and learned to meditate that year.

I became a freelancer in my commissions administration field that year.

Before that year ran out, I had started a blog.

2010 was also the year I made a new, lasting, and much treasured friendship.

Here’s how it went down…

I was living in an apartment, and I went to get my mail.

At the mailbox, I ran into another tenant, who I had never met before, and who was also getting her mail.

I noticed she was dressed to go for a walk, and I said to her, “ You look like you are going for a walk.” “Yes, care to join me?” she replied.

“I have to hop onto a meeting on my computer in 15 minutes, so I can’t today, but I would like to join you when you walk next,” I said.

“Sure. I walk every day,” she said, “I go up the hill. What is your name and where do you live?”

My apartment was right in front of the mailboxes, and I pointed it out.

“I will call you from down here, tomorrow, when I am going on my walk”, she said.

I expected this to be a grand promise on which nothing would be delivered, as is sometimes the case, when people make plans to do something with you.

But she kept her word, and sure enough, the next day, I heard a voice calling me from outside my apartment window - “Minoo. Minoo”.

That was the beginning of a walking companionship that continues till this day, and which morphed into a cruising companionship, a going to the movies companionship, a going to the Sphere in Las Vegas to see Wizard of Oz companionship, and so much more.

And 5 years later, I started going to Sunday service, with this friend.

And voila….

Going to Sunday service became another new and unexpected source of inspiration for my writing.

I have had before service inspirations, during service inspirations, and after service inspirations.

My friend is an usher, and we go to church 30 minutes before the service starts.

As a result, I am typically, just one of 5 people, in the sanctuary, when we get to church.

The 30 minutes before service, when hardly any of the congregation is around, has proved to be a fertile field for both ideas and thoughts.

I will be sitting, sometimes with a book, and almost whatever the book, ideas and thoughts, worth remembering, cross my mind.

If I have a paper and pen in my bag, I take them out, and write the ideas down.

If I don’t have a pen and paper, I just enter the ideas and thoughts on my iphone Notes app.

Many a blog post has emerged this way - during silent idle time in the church sanctuary.

One was written one 4th of July. It was prompted by someone passing me with a stars and stripes tie.

So many delightful and uncanny things have happened during Sunday service.

Sometimes I will have thoughts and ideas before service, and then, when the pastor gives his sermon, his thoughts and ideas are similar to the thoughts I had just before service started.

Like we have had a telepathic moment.

On occasion, I have published a blog post in the morning, and gone to service to find the pastor’s sermon filled with many of the same thoughts and ideas that were in my post, sometimes, even the same quote, or same references, and metaphors.

For example, on the same day, the pastor gave a sermon in which he made multiple references to the Garden of Eden serpent. I had published a post about a serpent that morning.

I like to think of these as telepathic moments created by being in a meditative field with others.

Shortly after I started meditating, the idea for one of my favorite posts came out of a telepathic moment with a close friend - my 3 Benches post. Read it and you will understand why it qualifies to be one of my favorite writings.

So now you know that church and Sunday service is another one of my unexpected places, to get thoughts and writing ideas from.

I will round off this list of unexpected sources for writing thoughts and ideas, with a fifth and last unexpected source for writing thoughts and ideas - IMDB, the movie site.

It is where I stumbled upon some truly delightful Big Bang Theory conversations between Sheldon and Penny.

I developed my “Find a Penny” series of blog posts, based on those conversations.

So there you have it - 5 unexpected sources of writing advice and inspiration from someone who loves writing, and who has been writing weekly on this blog, starting Dec 27, 2010.

Why might the idea that "life happens outside your comfort zone" not always be the best approach to living a fulfilling life?

One, because you may take unnecessary risks.

Minoo Jha

· 3y

What are the consequences of having too much ambition? How can one tell if they have too much ambition?

Pursuing something just because of vanity. Pursuing something just because of pride. Pursuing something just because you can’t stand for someone else to get something or enjoy something, unless you have the same thing yourself. Pursuing something to the point of burnout. Pursuing something in spite of diminishing marginal returns. Pursuing something purely because of sunk cost. Pursuing something just because you want to prove something to someone (a parent, a spouse, a friend, a sibling) and your ego can’t let go. In ambition, as in everything in life, you should stay on the safe path. Stay on the safe path my friend…

Two, because pride, ego, vanity, and stubbornness, may be involved.

Those things (pride, ego, vanity, stubbornness) can have a shrinking effect on your life.

The goal of life is to expand your life, not shrink it.

When you give in to pride, ego, vanity, stubbornness, or defensiveness, you are likely to make things difficult for yourself, and to lose rather than to gain, in the areas that are impacted.

You can lose relationships.

You can lose money.

You can lose your health.

You can lose your job.

You can lose your reputation.

What's more, other people, such as family members, can suffer losses, because of something you may do, when you let pride, vanity, stubbornness, or defensiveness, get the better of you.

Family members can lose valuable relationships, money, health, job, reputation, privileges, too.

It doesn't take much to create a rift, whether between family members, friends, coworkers, or countries.

Safeguarding your relationships, money, health, and career, involves not just keeping pride, ego, vanity, stubbornness, and defensiveness, out of the way, but also exercising discipline and judgement, resisting temptation, and giving attention to the things that need attention.

If you spend too much time outside your comfort zone, what’s inside your comfort zone might get neglected, and you may not realize the threats to the things inside your comfort zone, including the threats brought on by your own behavior.

What's neglected can be lost.

If you cherish what’s inside your comfort zone (your relationships, your comforting routines, your activities, your assets, the physical and non-physical things you are blessed to have), invest the time, thought, and energy to nurture and protect each of those things.

They should take precedence over all the exciting things, that exist outside your comfort zone.

What are you doing to nurture the things, that are inside your comfort zone, and that you value?

I will leave you with that question today.

How does the comfort of preparation help you meet expectations...

Preparation betters your chances.

Listed below are some ways to better your chances. 

All of them require preparation, and/or expanding your knowledge, or working on yourself.

Better Your Chances for Successful Employment…

The more job applications you send, the better your chances.

The more people you connect with, the better your chances.

The more pavement you pound, the better your chances.

The more creative your approach, the better your chances.

The more you learn about the places you are applying to, the better your chances.

The more you learn about the job you are applying for, the better your chances.

The more samples of work you show, the better your chances.

The more your work gets seen, the better your chances.

The more you think outside the box, the better your chances.

The more you work on yourself, the better your chances.

The broader your search, the better your chances.

The more you persevere, the better your chances.

The more you modify your resume, and the more you reflect on your failed interviews, and modify your approach, the better your chances.

The more in-demand skills you have, the better your chances.

The larger your skill-set, the better your chances.

The more developed your communication skills, the better your chances.

The more you use metaphors to keep going, the better your chances.

Above all, the more driven and engaged you are, the better your chances.

Better Your Chances For Good Health…

The more you look after yourself, the better your chances.

The more you know about health issues, the better your chances.

The more tools you use, the better your chances.

The more you see problems as puzzles to be solved, the better your chances.

The more disciplined you are about what you eat, about exercise, sleep and relaxation, the better your chances.

Above all, the more driven and engaged you are, the better your chances.

Better Your Chances for Good Relationships…

The less high maintenance you are, the better your chances.

The less needy you are, the better your chances.

The more solid and dependable you are, the better your chances.

The more ethical you are, the better your chances

The more supportive you are, the better your chances.

The more patient and persevering you are, the better your chances.

The more positive you are, the better your chances.

The more attentive and caring you are, the better your chances.

The more interesting and “interested” you are, the better your chances.

Above all, the more driven and engaged you are, the better your chances.

One final piece of advice: 

In life, there are no guarantees. 

But there are always ways to better your chances. 

Preparation is a way to do that. 

Prepare by first asking what am I overlooking? 

What am I missing? 

Then create a plan of action.

Because, as I have repeated throughout this post, the more driven and engaged you are, the better your chances.

When you are young and fresh out of school, or college...

When you are young and fresh out of college, is it advisable to work as hard as possible, and make personal sacrifices, where necessary, for many years, in order to establish a good financial base, for the rest of your life?

Absolutely.

Yes.

Yes.

You are in the prime of life, when you are fresh out of college.

You should aim to turn an academic victory into a dedicated professional journey.

Your brain is young, your body is young.

You should work as hard as you can, and make as much money as you can.

You should work multiple jobs, if it will help you establish a good financial base.

You could have a main gig, and one or many side gigs.

You want to produce as much income as possible early in life, not only so you can get rid of any student debt you have, but to save for future expenses, such as marriage (if that’s on the cards), a house, and retirement.

You should aim to put away a minimum of 20% of your income in savings, and maybe even 50% of your income, if you can manage it.

Live in your car if you have to, scrimp and save, if you have to. Chris Pratt did it. Jim Carrey did it. James Cameron did it. Kelly Clarkson did it. Colonel Sanders did it.

First order of the day is to get a foot in the door.

Take a job, any job, even a highly challenging and inconvenient job, just to get a foot in the door, and gain experience.

Next order of the day, is to put on your money saving hat.

When it comes to savings - before marriage, house, and retirement - you should aim to build up an emergency cushion.

An emergency cushion should cover 6 months to a year of all your living expenses.

You should save this money in a liquid account, such as a checking, savings, or money market account. 

If you put it in a separate bank account, and name the account Emergency Cushion, you will be able to keep your hands off it.

Don’t touch that money. It is only to be used in case of emergencies.

The most common emergency is job loss, but it could be something else for you.

If you have to use some of the money in your emergency cushion account for something, make sure you put the money back again.

Keep your emergency cushion amount consistent.

If you are out of work for a while, your emergency cushion will help you meet your expenses, including your medical expenses.

Establishing a good financial base early in life, will do the following for you:

Enable you to deal with unpredictable events like unemployment, ill health, and disability.

Help you meet expenses associated with health, marriage, children, housing, and retirement.

And finally, it will equip you to ride recessions in the economy, which can sometimes last an eternity, and almost always involve layoffs, plus real estate and stock market crashes.

When that happens, you want to stay invested, following the philosophy I outlined in answer to the Quora question, How did you survive the 2008-2009 stock market crash?

When in my life did it feel like my motivation for what I was talented in, was drifting away?

When I moved to America, and could not get an advertising copy job, I jumped at the first job that paid decent money, which was commissions administration.

My writing came to a screeching halt.

Year after year passed, without the inspiration to write, ever emerging.

Every time I sat down to write, I couldn’t.

I came up empty.

I thought that maybe the writing chapter of my life had ended.

Then I walked out of a job in 2010.

Lots of amazing things happened that year, and I believe it was partly because I did not work during the next 6 months, that lots of amazing things happened.

I learned to meditate, after reading the book, “How God Changes Your Brain.”

Learning to meditate brought gifts.

I became a low maintenance person.

Those early years of meditation resulted in some beautiful, and hard to explain inspirations:

Minoo Jha

· 7y

What is your most interesting meditation experience?

Hi, You asked, What is your most interesting meditation experience? After I stared meditating, I have had a few telepathic experiences. One of them was waking up in the middle of the night with a story about 3 Benches. I do not normally write fiction pieces on my blog, so it was very unusual for me to wake up in the middle of the night with the idea of this 3 Benches Story. The next day I called my friend in Klamath and I asked her, “Hey Nadya, whatcha been up to?” like I usually do. I got goosebumps when she said, “Oh, I am building a bench for my backyard.” I felt the only explanation for the mysterious appearance of the 3 Benches idea in my mind was because of a telepathic experience with Nadya. By now I must have aroused your curiosity about what this 3 Benches story is all about. It took another 6 years for me to actually get down to being able to write it and publish it on my blog. Here it is. I hope you enjoy reading it. Everyone Has Their Purpose Everyone has their purpose. I just hadn’t discovered mine. We were 3 benches in a park. Bench 1 clearly knew its purpose. It was to enjoy the rich conversations and the books of the people who sat on Bench 1. Bench 1 was into mind-expanding things. Bench 1 was always going on and on about philosophy and epistemology and such, things which, if they didn’t entirely go over my head, only somewhat interested me. I am curious and I have a love for words. These two personality traits made me listen to whatever Bench 1 said. Bench 2 was clearly status-seeking, a name-dropper. Bench 2 lived for the stylish, well-heeled, and well-known people that sat on Bench 2. Bench 2 would tell you that Bench 2 occupants that day included people who wore Manolo Blahnik Hangisi shoes, or toted the most expensive Louis Vuitton bags, or drove up in a Tesla Model X P100 D. As for me, neither status, nor mind expanding ideas, excited me, or held the key to my soul. I registered everything Bench 1 and Bench 2 said. I was curious enough for that. Bench 1 and Bench 2 knew they had a perfect listener in me. So they shared everything and anything that excited them, or troubled them, with me. And I would listen. But truthfully, I was interested in an "interesting what other benches find interesting" way. I knew, there had to be something more. One day, an older woman sat on my bench and said the rosary. As she sat there, moving from bead to bead, and repeating the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be, I caught a glimpse of what my purpose was. Another day, two young men sat on my bench. One of the young men had the book Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chodron in his hands. He explained to the other young man what meditating on loving-kindness meant. I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. Another day, I watched a man put a mat on the grass, put his hands up, then put his right hand over his left hand, then bend down and put his hands on his knees, then stand back up and bend down, placing his knees, hands and head on the floor, all the while reciting prayers. I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. One day, two Hindu studies major students sat on my bench. One of them read this passage from the Bhagavad Gita out aloud to the other: “The man who sees me in everything and everything within me will not be lost to me, nor will I ever be lost to him. He who is rooted in oneness realizes that I am in every being; wherever he goes, he remains in me. When he sees all being as equal in suffering or in joy because they are like himself, that man has grown perfect in yoga.” I caught a glimpse of my purpose again. Another day, two Jesuit priests chose me for their bench. They spoke of wondrous things, such as St. Augustine hearing a childlike voice telling him to “take up and read”. For days after, I kept thinking about that. And then one day, it happened. A man with a backpack and a stick entered the area where our 3 benches were located. He looked weary and he looked tired and he looked disheveled and he looked unkempt. I knew he was the kind of man Bench 1 and Bench 2 would be least interested in, even revolted by. He looked at all 3 of us benches, and then made his way to where I was, even though I was the furthest bench. He put his backpack down on one end of the bench. Then, using the backpack as a pillow for his head, he sprawled across the length of the bench, covered his face with a dirty shirt, and fell into a deep sleep, from which he awoke, hours later, after which he picked up his things and left. He came back the next day and did the same thing; and he came back the day after and did the same thing again. At the end of day 3, after he had woken up and left, Bench 1 said to me: “Tough luck 3, to have a homeless guy single you out and make a habit of it.” I didn’t say anything. Bench 2 added, “Better accept it, 3. You might be stuck with him at least till the weather changes!” I didn’t say anything. If only Bench 1 and Bench 2 knew…..at last, I had found my purpose. The End Note to Readers: The original idea for this story came to me in the form of a miraculous coincidence - which happened in October of 2012, almost 6 years ago. Though I had the idea for this story 6 years ago, I wasn’t able to put it into words. So it just lingered with me, all these years, until a few days ago. Here's how it happened. On the morning of April 27, 2018, while riding the bus to work and reading a book, suddenly these words came to my mind, “Everyone has their purpose”. My mind, next inexplicably, jumped to my unwritten 3 benches story. The next thing I knew, I was writing furiously. This story, that had been waiting to be told for 6 years, got told.

I also decided to become a freelancer in my field.

That turned out to be an inspired decision.

Freelancing turned out to be both more financially rewarding for me, and more suited to me.

And on December 27, 2010, I created a blog on Google Blogger, and started writing.

My blog is now in its 16th year, and I have published 788 posts.

One of my posts is a post reflecting on my career switch from advertising copy to commissions administration, and how unthinkable that was —written from a humorous angle.

If the twists and turns in your life made you switch careers, and your second and third careers were dramatically different from your first, I think you will be able to relate to it.

Minoo Jha

· 4y

Is it possible to become interested in something after spending enough time with it or does the interest always have to be there from the start?

Totally! I was completely uninterested in spreadsheets, Excel and numbers, but when I switched careers from a copywriter to a commissions analyst, the more time I spent as an analyst, the more interested I became in spreadsheets, Excel and numbers. In 2010, I walked out of a commissions analyst job at a tech company where I had been for 5 years, and a few months later, I started a blog. Here’s a piece I wrote about the role of words vs numbers in my life and the genesis of that blog: Words vs Numbers The Words , who had gathered to discuss the issue at hand, were clearly flustered. "Discombobulated, unsettled, unnerved, agitated, ruffled, upset, bothered, disquieted, disturbed, perturbed, disconcerted, confused, thrown off " is how Thesaurus put it. Among the Words gathered were prominent Word luminaries such as Action, Strategy, Thoughtful, Biography, Explanation and Analogy. "It is ridiculous" said Exclamation. "It is preposterous" said Emphasis. "It is unthinkable" said Enunciate. "We should do something about it" said Action. "Like what?" said Curious. "With her making the career switch to a Commissions Analyst, what could we possibly do?” "Of all the things she could have chosen to become…a Commissions Analyst!" exclaimed Judgment…."a Commissions Analyst!" "There should be a law against Copywriters becoming Commissions Analysts" said Legal. "How can you go from working in so many different ad agencies...and writing the Fiesta campaign...and starting Purple Patch...to crunching numbers?" said Biography, shaking her head. "A rhetorical question" said Rhetoric. "Calculating commissions? Sounds as dull as ditchwater to me" said Analogy. "Apparently not to her" said Explanation. "What on earth do Commission Analysts do?" said Clueless. "I will have to write it out, but be warned. Even when I do, it will make no sense to you" said Explanation. Explanation strode to the whiteboard and wrote, "60000/500000 x 0.03"on the whiteboard. The Words looked at what Explanation had written, open mouthed. "Wow, don't understand it. And don't understand what she sees in it" said Incredulous. "What does it even mean?" said Clueless. "Sales divided by Quota multiplied by Rate. It's a commission calculation". "She stares at screens full of this the whole day" continued Explanation. "We need to come up with a plan" said Strategy. "The goal is to get Minoo back into words. I want us all to put on our thinking hats. Let's meet again in a week with ideas. And so they met again. At that next and crucial meeting, some of the Words looked more excited than others. They had the look of those who have ideas they can't wait to share. "I have just the thing" said Eager, "Let's have Minoo kidnapped and taken back to India. Someone from her advertising past in India will be sure to offer her a job, and she will be back to being a words practitioner again." The idea fell flat. Eager looked dejected. "I know, I know" said Devious, "Let's have Minoo make mistakes in her work as a Commissions Analyst. Then she will have to come up with creative ways of explaining the mistakes. She will have to use words to do that." All the other Words glared at Devious for this inappropriate suggestion. "I was only joking" said Devious. All the Words then turned and looked at Thoughtful. Everyone knew Thoughtful would have an idea. "I was thinking" said Thoughtful, "What Minoo needs is a creative pause. A creative pause will spur her creativity. I am willing to bet if Minoo has a creative pause, she will automatically start writing again." "But how would we engineer a creative pause?" said Practical. "I know, I know" said Devious, "You know how Minoo loves her telecommuting?" "Yes," said the other Words… "Well," said Devious, "If a boss got in the way of that, Minoo is likely to leave her job." "And that will produce the creative pause …yes I totally approve of that" said Thoughtful. The other Words who respected anything Thoughtful said, nodded their heads in agreement, shaking their heads Indian style. Meanwhile, Devious was as pleased as punch. Known for joking around, he couldn't believe he had come up with the winning idea. And so the Words put their heads together. They plotted on planting ideas in the ear of the boss of Minoo's direct boss - ideas that were in direct contradiction to what Minoo would like to hear. As to why it had to be the boss of Minoo's boss, and not Minoo's boss, it was because Minoo's boss was deemed too kind to cause any inconvenience and trouble for Minoo. The idea the Words put in the head of the boss of Minoo's boss (and it was while he was sleeping), was that he should ask Minoo to account for every hour she spent working from home, and to also question her current system for calculating commissions. And things went exactly as the Words expected. The boss of Minoo's boss asked her to account for every hour of the time she spent working from home. He also started questioning how she did her commission calculations, even though she was using a system she had refined over the years, and which was both accurate and fast. Being asked to account for every hour of her time and being questioned about her well-developed system did not sit well with Minoo, and she was rattled. She exchanged words with the boss’s boss again and again. Eventually, tired of exchanging words, actually tired of the psychological demands of dealing with the boss of her boss, one Monday, Minoo did not show up for work. Shortly after, she announced her resignation. The Words couldn't have been happier. They high fived each other. According to Thoughtful, it was now just a question of time before the creative pause bore fruit. And that's exactly what happened. By walking out of her job, Minoo gave herself a well-deserved creative pause. And this creative pause soon spurred Minoo's creativity. Before 6 months was out, she started a blog, and began to write and post online. She wrote posts about losing weight, she wrote posts about buying cars, she wrote posts about starting businesses, she wrote posts about doing taxes, she wrote posts about being unique, she wrote posts about being a virtual worker. She wrote and wrote and wrote. She even wrote a Valentine's Day post about Cupid getting his groove back. The Words were ecstatic. And guess what…the Numbers were happy too. Because Minoo decided to continue her engagement with numbers by becoming a Commission Administration Consultant So her numbers work resumed, but she still found time to keep up with her blog during the weekend. And she is doing both even today. All’s well that ends well, as they say. And now you know the genesis of my blog, Minoo Jha Life Strategies.

What has been my most rewarding collaboration with a junior, senior, or an equal level performer?

I can think of a few different ones...

The manager who took a chance on me by giving me my first commissions administration job, and who collaborated with me, until I was confident enough, to do the job on my own…

Minoo Jha

· 6y

What is the gift of encouragement?

Hi, You asked, What is the gift of encouragement? I am reminded of when I first took on the role of Commissions Analyst at Palm - my first commissions administration job. I did not know Excel – yet there I was being recruited to a job which was entirely Excel based, and what’s more, involved an advanced level of Excel. I was anxious about pulling it off. But if on one side I had doubt and concern, on the other side, I had a fierce women’s advocate, my manager, Laura H, who wanted me to succeed. She not only took a chance on me by giving me a job I was not qualified for, by either education or experience…. She mentored me so I developed the confidence to do the job. Laura went out on maternity leave, not long after I took up the Commissions Analyst job. I went into panic mode when she gave me the news. “Laura, I am not sure I can manage on my own. I don’t really understand any of the formulas. If anything goes wrong with a formula, how will I fix it? And what do I do when new hires comes on board – how will I set up their commission statements? I don’t know how to do that.” “Don’t worry, Minoo. Trust me you can do this”, she said. “Just copy the formulas from the existing sheets on to the new sheets for new hires. And if you break a formula, just look at one of the other spreadsheets and copy the formula over from there.” “Trust me - you can do this.” Those were the magic words. If Laura felt I could do it, surely I could. After she had gone, everything went just like she said. I was able to manage the process on my own, copying sheets, copying formulas, using what had already been built. Laura did not return from maternity leave. She had decided to get involved with the launch of a women’s sports magazine. But thanks to her confidence in me, I was able to keep going. In fact, I did the job on my own for the next 5 years, until I left for another job. That’s How Powerful The Gift of Encouragement Is Did Laura know for sure everything would turn out okay? Not really. Did I know for sure everything would turn out okay? Not really. But just the fact Laura had so much confidence in me made me believe I could succeed. From my experience, this is what I learned… Want to see what someone is capable of? Take a chance on them. Give them adequate training. Make sure they have a template to follow. Tell them you are confident they will succeed. Then sit back and watch the magic happen!

The Toastmasters mentor who collaborated with me on each of my 10 speeches, enabling me to complete all of my 10 CTM speeches within a year, plus win an award, and write an article.

Minoo Jha

· 6y

How often do you find yourself thinking ‘two is better than one’?

Hi, You asked, How often do you find yourself thinking ‘two is better than one’? Every now and then. And wistfully. Because some of my best work - and most wonderful output - has come about, because another person was involved. In successful partnerships, as in successful marriages, one plus one does not equal two, but an exponential amount more. Having the right co-pilot, spouse, or mentor can make all the difference to what you achieve. My Toastmasters experience is a good example. In 2003, I joined Toastmasters. I was lucky enough to be mentored by someone, who was not just very experienced at public speaking, but incredible at mentoring as well. Thanks to her feedback and input, I completed my CTM in a year. Moreover, all of my speeches were big hits. Other aspiring speakers would come up to me after my speeches. They would want to know the secret behind my speaking ability. My mentor had a big part to play in it. I decided her contribution to my success shouldn’t go unrecognized. So after I completed my CTM, I wrote a speech dedicated to her, and what she had done for me. Want to guess what it was called? When One Plus One Does Not Equal Two.

The art director and copywriter who collaborated with me on some of the ads I am most proud of…

Minoo Jha

· 1y

How would you describe the time you have collaborated with an individual?

“Two is better than one” describes it best. I collaborated a few different times in my career as a copywriter. It was usually with another copywriter. There was one art director and me who had the most amazing collaboration. This was at Contract Advertising, Bangalore. There was a copywriter whom I met at Contract Advertising, Bangalore who also collaborated with me, not just when we worked together at Contract Advertising, Bangalore, but later when I started my own creative hot shop in Madras - Purple Patch. Collaboration requires chemistry. And you need to be on the same wavelength so you enjoy the collaboration. My career as a freelance Commissions Administration Consultant has not provided me with opportunities for collaboration. But when I was in Toastmasters, my mentor and me had that chemistry. I would love to be in a collaboration again - be a Brian Grazer to a Ron Howard, or a Ron Howard to a Brian Grazer.

You can have project-length collaborations.

You can also have collaboration moments.

What do I consider collaboration moments?

Anytime, I get someone thinking.

That's a collaboration moment.

Anytime, someone gets me thinking.

That's a “collaboration” moment, too.

Collaboration moments, can be more satisfying than “personal inspirations”, even though those are fun, too.

Ron Howard and Brian Grazer, who gave us Parenthood, Splash, A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, and more, by working together on those films, can testify.

Perhaps, what they have achieved together, they may not have achieved on their own?

We don't know.

Another example is author James Patterson.

Besides the many books he has written on his own, he has co-authored books with more than 30 other authors.

I have listed just one Hollywood collaboration, and one writing collaboration.

There are plenty more.

Up for a quiz on some famous collaborations?

If you have a good memory for trivia, but have not dipped your toe into the waters of collaboration trivia, it’s time you did…

Minoo Jha

· 7y

How do I find good technical co-founders? Is there any particular resource or technique in finding competent technical co-founders?

Hi, You asked, How do I find good technical co-founders? Is there any particular resource or technique in finding competent technical co-founders? Here is a resource which may have already been suggested to you. Founder.Dating.com. Meanwhile, while your search is on, I thought you might enjoy a little quiz about collaborations. Here goes - Q1: Which of these well-known companies was not founded by college buddies? Google Yahoo E-Harmony Reddit Proactiv Answer: E-Harmony. E-Harmony was founded by Neil Clark Warren, a psychologist and author of relationship advice books, along with his son-in-law Greg Forgatch. All the other companies on this list were founded by college classmates, and 3 out of 4 of them were, in fact, founded by Stanford classmates, Proactiv being among them. Q2: Which of these co-founders of companies discovered that one of the things they had in common with each other was preferring Bob Dylan to the Beatles? Was it…. Sandy Lerner and Leonard Bosack of Cisco? Jerry Yang and David Filo of Yahoo? Paul Allen and Bill Gates of Microsoft? Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak of Apple? Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield of Ben and Jerry’s? Answer: It was Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. You may not have known that. I didn’t either. I learned of it from a Los Gatos Patch interview with Steve Wozniak. Q3: All these are celebrated collaborators. How quickly can you fill in the blanks? Rodgers and………. Lewis and………. Gilbert and ……….. Masters and……… Lords and……… And the answers are: Hammerstein, Sullivan, Clark, Johnson, Taylor Q4: Next, do you know the fields of work of the people listed in the last question? Can you match them to the list provided below: Sexology Opera Expeditions Fine Clothing Broadway Musicals Answers: Masters & Johnson - Sexology, Rodgers & Hammerstein - Opera, Lewis & Clark - Expeditions, Lords & Taylor - Fine Clothing, Gilbert & Sullivan - Broadway Musicals. On to our next question about collaborators…. Q5: Which of these collaborators were not siblings? Orville and Wilbur Elizabeth, Mary and Sophia Walt and Roy Lucy and Desi Jacob and Wilhelm Richard and Maurice Answer: Lucy and Desi …who were husband and wife. Bonus question 1: What are the last names associated with the names above? Bonus question 2: How fast can you associate the following with the correct pairs from the list above?... 1) It’s A Small World 2) The History of Flight 3) Ethel and Fred 4) The Golden Arches 5) The introduction of kindergarten education in America , and 6) Hansel and Gretel. Q6: And finally, for all you lovebirds out there, the husband-and-wife teams listed below are behind some really cool and well-known companies. Can you identify the companies from just their names: Diane Greene and Mendel Rosenblum Stewart Butterfield and Caterina Fake Michael and Xochi Birch Sehat Sutardja and Weili Dai Eugene and Natalya Kaspersky Answers: Diane Greene and Mendel Rosenblum (VM Ware); Stewart Butterfield and Caterina Fake (Flickr); Michael and Xochi Birch (Bebo); Sehat Sutardja and Weili Dai (Marvell); Eugene and Natalya Kaspersky (Kaspersky Lab). Another famous husband and wife partnership is Robert Venturi and Denise Scott Brown of the legendary architectural firm Venturi Scott Brown and Associates. I hope you find your technical co founder and embark on a fulfilling and fruitful collaboration with them – whether that person is a friend, a soul mate, a spouse, a sibling, a classmate, a workmate, or someone you run into that turns out to be a great fit. Happy New Peer. As Henry Ford put it….."Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success."

Do I think there is an art to collaborations?

I think you have to be open to other people’s ideas, suggestions, and inputs.

Plus you have to be willing to share credit…

Minoo Jha

· 1y

What is a good example of when you sought other people’s views to help you improve your personal practice or your service?

Hi, You asked, What is a good example of when you sought other people’s views to help you improve your personal practice or your service? I try to do this as much as I can. In many of my assignments, the most useful thing I have done is to find out what the manager wants and then work to that requirement. I always try to feel out how I can deliver value that the person I am working with may not have thought of, and in fact they may not even know I can help them with. The skills required for Commissions Administration are numerical and software skills. The skills required for Advertising copy are writing skills. I try to see how I can bring both to my assignments. In many companies, I have written FRDs, User Guides, Commission Process documentation. And I even developed a learning tracker in one assignment. The feedback loop is very important to improving one’s personal practice or service. Quora is a good way to suss out what people want most - though I haven’t yet started using Quora for that.

Anyone can become a collaborator.

In fact, I urge you to.

Find someone to collaborate with.

See how it takes you beyond your limits.

And see how much more fun it is.

Two heads, two hearts, two springs, from which to draw ideas.

Magic happens.