What personal traits are key for turning consistent failures into success stories?

If the failures are “consistent”, there is a problem.

It means, nothing was learned.

Success involves learning.

Learning that trying to copy someone’s success strategy is a fool’s game.

Learning that to inspire people, you don’t have to have a superpower.

Learning that there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything, even a simple thing like asking your boss about leave.

Learning that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

Success is as much about learning from failures, and avoiding the pitfalls, as it is about resilience and perseverance.

Resilience, discipline, and a growth mindset are good traits, but insufficient.

An ability to be a continuous learner is also necessary.

What life events in my past changed my financial situation today?

Becoming self-employed in my first career.

It made me a better negotiator, a think-on-my-feet decision maker, a smart time, money, and talent resource allocator. I am the only one among my siblings to pursue self-employment, and as a shy, dreamy, introverted child, it could hardly be predicted that I would choose to become self-employed at any stage of my life. Entrepreneurs need not necessarily show an entrepreneurial bent as a child. There are a few different reasons someone may become an entrepreneur.

Becoming a freelancer in my second career.

It made my interest in all aspects of money, from taxes to insurance to credit, to options for saving and investing money, go from zero to 100. It is amazing the things you discover, once you start paying attention. You discover how not to waste money, and you also discover how to put your money to productive use.

Reading Rich Dad Poor Dad.

It provided a wake-up call, at the crucial time when I still had enough career runway to play catch up on saving enough for retirement. While I didn’t follow his “passive income from rental properties, using OTM” path to financial stability, a friend I introduced Rich Dad Poor Dad to, did so, and she is very comfortable with where she is at today. Rich Dad, Poor Dad led me to other thought-provoking money-related content, such as Mr. Money Mustache’s Retirement Calculator and Nick Maggiulli’s Climbing The Wealth Ladder.

Developing a Money Workshop for kids, and then for young adults.

I took what I learned about earning, spending, and saving money, and turned it into a Money Workshop for the 4th-6th graders in my daughter’s elementary school, later adapting the same Money Workshop for young adults. Nothing like teaching to bring clarity.

Surviving the 2007–2009 stock crash.

I developed an investing philosophy, which turned out to be astute, and has completely proven itself.

How does a partner who blocks communication affect the way you view them?

When you try to communicate with your partner, depending on what you are trying to communicate, they might block the communication, by doing one of the following…

Not responding.

Saying, “I’m sorry, I am too tired for this. Can we talk about this later?”, only to never actually talk about it later.

Raising their hand to indicate, “Stop. I don’t want to hear any of that.”

Saying something snarky.

Making a firm declaration, such as “I’m not doing  that. Take it or leave it.”

Outright shouting, or screaming, at you.

Making threats.

Doing something angry, which scares you, such as smashing their fist into a wall, or throwing something.

Doing something which makes you feel bad about bringing up the subject, such as getting up from the table, and going to bed, without finishing their food.

Storming out of the room, or even storming out of the house, for several hours.

It is unfortunate, but you can conclude one of the following, from their reactions…

They don’t like conflict.

They don’t know how to deal with conflict.

They do not like engaging on some subjects.

They want to be left alone.

Sensitive subjects might include money, expenses, health, social events, chores.

Living with a partner, like this, makes everything tougher - maintaining a house, managing expenses, raising kids, socializing.

It is love, sacred vows, kids, social mores, and financial dependence, that makes us keep going, even though we may be dismayed, disappointed, and dissatisfied, with how things are.

Eventually, you may find peace apart.

Or your partner may mellow over the years, and through mellowing, and sometimes, through faith, wisdom, and self-reflection, improve on all fronts.

As they become more caring, and more considerate, you may experience a renewed closeness with them, or even a closeness, better than you ever had before, a closeness that’s precious, and you never thought possible.

I have observed this, having observed many couples, through decades of ups and downs.

You may discover, as those couples have, that you loved, and still love your partner, and your partner loved and still loves you, through all the ups and downs, through it all.

Which is precious.

Suggestions to make you achieve this precious closeness faster…

Minoo Jha

· 6y

Is it fair to judge someone's level of love if they don't show it the way we think they should?

Yes and no. Here’s a piece I wrote on the importance of tuning in to the other person in your life… The Secret to Good Relationships - Tuning In Let’s talk about radio stations. If you want to listen to the KFOG radio station, you have to tune in to the frequency of the KFOG radio station. 107.7. You can't tune in to the frequency of the KBAY radio station and expect to hear the KFOG radio station. KBAY music plays on the KBAY radio station. So if you tune in to the frequency of the KBAY radio station, you will hear the music played by KBAY. So now how is this related to dealing with the significant people in your life? You need to tune in to the station of anyone who is significant to you, so you can really hear them. But what happens if you don't like the music that's being played on their station? This is where the problem arises. You don't like the music that's playing on their station. What's more, you may not be able to escape it - living under the same roof, or having to deal with them day in and day out. So you decide the next best thing is to just tune it out. Block out whatever they say as best you can. Using tools like your imagination. While this is a coping tool, it's not a solving tool. It would be nice if you could say to the people in your life, ”Hey I don't like what you are playing on your radio station; can you play this instead?” But of course, that's wishful thinking. It's never going to be as simple as that. If you do that, it will only make things worse. So the same thing goes on and on. And maybe you continue to do what you have always done - try to tune things out. You can live a whole lifetime like this - with nothing changing. And with profound dissatisfaction on all sides. If you desire to have a meaningful, caring, and more easy-going relationship, no two questions about it... You have to tune in. If the dial is stuck, you may be tempted to use your developed reflex to tune out and block out whatever you do not like. But really, you should consider using your alone time as reflection time. And come up with a strategy to replace “blocking out” with “tuning in”. Tuning in might be to ask someone, "What are your thoughts right now?" Or, "What would you like to do right now?" Or, “What is bothering you the most right now?” Or, “How can I make things easier for you?" Or, "Why do you think that?" Life gets more challenging for everyone as we go along. Life gets more challenging physically, mentally, and emotionally. Tuning in may mean acknowledging the increased physical, mental, and emotional challenges the people in your life face. And doing what you can to alleviate them. Tuning in many also mean acknowledging the small things that bother other people. Sometimes what's small to you may be significant to someone else. We are all different. The most successful relationships are those where both people are tuned in. How can you craft and implement the right “tune in” strategy today?

What role does perseverance play in achieving long-term success?

Perseverance is a key, perhaps the key to long-term success.

Those who persevere will achieve more in any sphere (area) of life, than those who don’t.

Firstly, they are keen on using their talents, putting their abilities to work, or pursuing their interests.

So they are likely to start using their talents, abilities, and interests, early in life.

Initially, it may be in a non-professional, hobby setting.

At this stage, they do the activity, for the sheer joy of being able to do it.

Creation is involved.

And they enjoy seeing the results of their creations, as well as experimenting with new ideas.

This is a soft beginning.

A little later, their talents and creations will be discovered, or they will themselves spot an opportunity, to pursue their interests further, either through getting a job, or through a business idea.

This is when their plans and ideas solidify.

At this stage, many people’s ambitions come to rest.

But the persevering person never rests.

They could be happy with the fact, that they are earning money from something they like to do, and are good at doing, and they are gaining knowledge and experience, while practicing what they are good at.

But for the persevering person, that’s not enough.

Their goal is to become better at what they do, to create and do more, to establish a name for themselves, to use their talents, abilities, and experience, beyond what is required just to support themselves.

They are in it to find out how far they can take their talents and skills.

They are in it, not just for the immediate future, but for the future they cannot see.

The long haul.

Regardless of challenges, rejections, disappointments, slow times, and competitive blows, they plan to keep the momentum going.

Not resting in high moments, or grieving in low moments.

When thrown to the mat, instead of thinking, “it’s all over for me”, they pick themselves up, and keep going.

The persevering person may be a short-run pessimist, but they are always a long-term optimist.

They never fail to hope for better times.

It helps them persist.

It helps them expand the number of things they can do, as well as expand the variety of things, they can do.

They are also able to branch out, and extend.

While the non-persevering person, jumps from tree to different tree, allowing too little time to achieve significant success in any area, the persevering person hones and refines what they do, smartly extending what they do, when the opportunity arises.

They don’t make the deadly mistake of losing focus, losing interest, losing traction in the area which they have dedicated their lives to.

Over time, this makes the core of their knowledge, skills, and insights, strong.

It also makes them agile.

Quick thinkers and quick doers.

Persevering people are success attractors.

Over time, they achieve remarkable success.

Looking at their success, the non-persevering person may say, “how lucky they are - they got into the right field, everything clicked for them."

They assume the persevering person’s success was due to advantages, resources, support, and connections.

But it’s neither a true assumption, nor a fair assumption.

The persevering person’s success may have nothing to do with being handed a golden key at birth, or being lucky with resources, connections, and the support to succeed.

It may be entirely self-made.

In fact, the persevering person’s success is significantly due to their persistence and perseverance.

They never gave up.

They kept going.

They were willing to try, and try again.

They stretched themselves to meet new opportunities, not letting complacency make them become non-competitive.

Long after others stopped, or hopped onto a different tree, the persevering person kept at what they were doing, kept the momentum going.

It’s how they got to where they are today.

And it describes the long-term success of most of the successful people I know.

If you ask any of these successful people the question, “what role does perseverance have to play in the success you’ve achieved, and continue to achieve?”, this is the answer you can expect from them….

“EVERYTHING!”

What are some practical steps to open our eyes and evolve, in the face of recurring life challenges?

One piece of advice is to read.

Read holy books.

You can find inspiration from the lives and teachings of people in the holy books.

Here’s an example:

Minoo Jha

· 6y

Why is it important to forgive?

Hi, You asked, Why is it important to forgive? Forgiving is both an aspiration. And a coping strategy. It is important to getting along with the most important people in our lives. It is important to thriving. And it is important to happiness. You may never be able to forget what someone did. But you can learn to forgive them for it. Forgiving is not easy. But if you turn to the strength within, you can do it. I wrote a post last Easter. It is about how Jesus Christ is the perfect example of turning to the strength within. Even if you are from a different faith, or have no faith, it it worth a read. The Strength Within When you have to make sense of the senseless…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He made sense of the senseless by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the amazing strength of Jesus to deal with the senseless, your inspiration. He showed us how it’s done. Let's do it. When you have to cope with disappointment…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He coped with disappointment by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the strength of Jesus to deal with disappointment, your inspiration. He showed it can be done. Let’s do it. When you suffer great pain…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He suffered great pain by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the strength of Jesus to suffer great pain, your inspiration. He showed it can be done. Let’s do it. When you are dealing with rejection…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He dealt with rejection by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make Jesus' capacity for dealing with rejection, your inspiration. He showed it can be done. Let's do it. To forgive and forget…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He forgave and forgot by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the amazing strength of Jesus to forgive and forget, your inspiration. He showed it can be done. Let’s do it. To find the will to persist in your mission…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. He found the will to persist in his mission by turning to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the will of Jesus to persist in his mission, your inspiration. Let’s do it. When your faith is tested…turn to the strength within. That’s what Jesus did. When his faith was tested, he turned to the strength within. Today, Easter Sunday, is a day to make the amazing capacity of Jesus to continue to be faithful, your inspiration. He showed how it’s done. Let’s do it. Don’t let disappointment crush you, don’t let shame, humiliation, or grief, submerge you, don’t let betrayal and rejection weaken your faith, don’t let bitterness make it hard for you to forgive… Just turn to the strength within…like Jesus did. What better day, than today, to make a new promise to yourself… “I will turn to the strength within!”

Read biographies.

Biographies of people you admire.

Read their biographies in full.

Or read the Wikipedia versions.

Or read summaries on websites, like History.com.

You will find out how your heroes coped with challenges.

Many great people achieved greatness, and made their mark in history, through unusual means.

If there ever was an unusual means, it was consulting the Oracles of Delphi.

Alexander the Great would not have left such a mark on history, if not for consulting the Oracles of Delphi.

Diogenes dealt with the challenge of having being caught out in an act of shame, by consulting and heeding the Oracles of Delphi.

What is the modern day version of consulting the Oracles of Delphi?

Astrology, fortune-telling, numerology?

Praying - and seeking answers through prayer, with an open mind, may be all that you need.

Minoo Jha

· 7y

How can you speak concretely to the unconscious mind?

Just being more open to Miracles…. Principles of Miracles 1. There is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not "harder" or "bigger" than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal. 2. Miracles as such do not matter. The only thing that matters is their source, which is far beyond evaluation. 3. Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. So begins the book “A Course in Miracles”, a book that has inspired countless people over the decades, including authors and life coaches such as Julia Cameron, Gabrielle Bernstein and Iyanla Vanzant. The book has a fascinating history. The story goes like this…. The year is 1958. William Thetford, a Phd in psychology joins Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons as a psychology professor, during which time, he also serves as Director of Clinical Psychology at the Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital. Shortly after, he hires a research associate and associate professor by the name of Helen Schucman. Helen Schucman is great at her work, but she and William Thetford do not get along. Frequent arguments and disagreements characterize their working relationship. One day, after one of their heated arguments, Thetford is completely fed up and delivers an impassioned speech to Helen. He says it is totally crazy they butt heads about everything, cannot see eye to eye, and can't work agreeably with each other. At the end of the speech, he declares “There has to be another way”. His speech, far from upsetting Helen Schucman, strikes a deep chord in her. She is especially struck by the words, “There has to be another way”. Helen has a series of visions and dreams thereafter. Then on October 21, 1965, a voice (which she takes to be the voice of Jesus) says to her, “This is a Course in Miracles. Take notes.” Startled, Helen gets out a pencil, and begins to take down what the voice is saying, in shorthand. The first words said by the voice are “This is a Course in Miracles. Take notes.” This is followed by Principles of Miracles. The next day, Helen reluctantly tells Thetford about the voice and the notes. He encourages her to continue taking notes, and even offers to type them up for her. Over several years, Helen experiences the voice every night, and continues to take notes. She dictates the notes to Thetford, who types them up. By the time the voice stops, the manuscript is 600 pages long, and 7 years have passed. They make photocopies of the manuscript, and give one of the copies to Father Benedict Groeschel, a Roman Catholic priest, who studied under Thetford, and is also known to Helen. Father Benedict Groeschel gives the manuscript to a friend Kenneth Wapnick, who has led a fascinating and miraculous life himself. Like Helen, Kenneth has experienced several dreams and epiphanies; one of them results in him becoming a Roman Catholic, though he was raised in the Jewish tradition. The night Kenneth meets Helen, he tosses and turns, and sleepless in bed, he remembers a dream he had the year before. In the dream, he is among a group of people, much younger than himself, when suddenly, a very wise middle-aged woman lawyer enters the room, takes him aside, and asks him 3 questions. One of the questions is “If you could change any of your childhood experiences, what would you change?” Kenneth gives the answer - which proves to be the correct one - he would not change anything, since all was the way it should be, and the past no longer matters. Kenneth wakes up, and half-awake, half-asleep, it dawns on him, the woman in the dream is Helen. Wapnick has 2 more uncanny dreams - both featuring a book - at which time, he decides he should delay no longer in reading Helen's manuscript. Wapnick planned to spend his life as a monk in Israel, but after these three dreams, he writes a letter to Helen informing her will be visiting the US briefly, and plans to read her book during his visit. Reading A Course in Miracles completely changes his plans. He recognizes Helen’s book as the perfect blend of psychology and spirituality, and decides his mission is to stay in America to help Helen edit and publish the book, and to make it his life’s work to spread the book's message of forgiveness. So he and Helen start work on editing the book. Soon after it is published, they start the organization, Foundation for a Course in Miracles, to help people transform their lives through adopting A Course in Miracles. Thetford, too, dedicates the rest of his life to spreading the word of A Course in Miracles. And when he retires, he decides to meditate on the message of a Course in Miracles in his own life. If Schucman, Thetford and Wapnick experienced all the miracles they did, it was because they were open to miracles. It is very important to be open to miracles in our life. Not all things come through thinking, and reflection and planning, and willpower. Many unexpected things happen as a result of grace. When I was 27, I became a vegetarian literally overnight. I remember that day, because I met up with friends, and we talked about going on a hunting trip. I did not know, I was to experience a complete change of heart that very night. It was waiting for me in a little known Lewis Carroll story called Sylvie and Bruno. I had borrowed the book Alice in Wonderland from my friend Anita, because I wanted to re-read it as an adult, and see if I took anything new from it. In the book Anita lent me, there was another short story by Caroll, “Sylvie and Bruno ”, at the end of the book. “Hmm….” I said, “I wonder what this is about.” I found myself reading the story of a man who converses with two fairies in his garden called Sylvie and Bruno. At one part of the story, Sylvie and Bruno see a dead hare. Sylvie wants to know how the hare died. The man explains to her it was killed by hunters. Weeping, she wants to know, why do human beings hunt? To which the man sorrowfully answers, “Just to prove they have good aim.” The vanity and senselessness of hunting struck me right there and then, and I found tears streaming down my face. I determined to become a vegetarian, as soon as possible, and the very next day, I started eliminating meat from my diet. I became a gradual vegetarian over the next 3 years. What is this, if not a miracle? We have to be open to miracles. Throughout history, well-known figures achieved breakthroughs in their life, because they were open to miracles. Have you read about St. Augustine? If you have, you will know he was a typical young man, indulging in wine, women and song. His mother, who was a devout Christian, implored him to mend his ways, but her words fell on deaf ears. Then one day, when Augustine was visiting his mother, he heard a childlike voice say, “Take up and read.” This was a turning point for him. Augustine took it as a divine command to open his Bible and read the first thing his eyes laid on. Augustine read from Paul's Epistle to the Romans – the “Transformation of Believers” section, consisting of chapters 12 through 15 – in which Paul outlines how the Gospel transforms believers and their behavior. …“Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof.” He was a converted man from that day. Have you read about Diogenes the Cynic? He and his father were engaged in debasing currency, and when they were banished from Sinope for their crime, Diogenes visited the Delphi Oracles to find out what the future held for him. The Oracle at Delphi instructed him to adulterate the political and cultural traditions of the day. So Diogenes moved to Athens, and dedicated the rest of his life to doing that; to debunking all that was false in Athenian society. Have you read about the apple falling on Newton's head? Surely that is a miracle. Have you read about Archimedes in the bath? Surely that is a miracle. Just be open to more miracles…and your subconscious mind will become your biggest ally.

Are you a physical, rather than spiritual person at this point?

Stretching yourself physically might be the answer to dealing with the challenges of life.

Get yourself a trainer.

Or find a partner, or partners, with whom you can stretch yourself, physically.

Read self-help books that are written for someone like you.

Books about people who have stretched themselves physically.

Minoo Jha

· 7y

Why would you choose a harder path in life, when others run away do you stay and fight for your path?

Hi Kennedy, You asked, Why would you choose a harder path in life, when others run away do you stay and fight for your path? Things which are worth it, which are valuable, are rarely easy. We have to stretch to get them. Most people don’t reach the levels they are capable of. This is simply because they get comfortable too easily. They get comfortable too fast. They are willing to do only so much, and no more! They find it impossible to find the time, to find the energy, to do anything more, anything extra. But I know from experience when I find the time and the energy to do more, I gain so much. It is my sweat equity which has got me to where I am today - a successful Commissions Administration and Sales Comp Consultant. At times it was (and is) exhausting, at times challenging, but in the end, I have arrived at a better, more satisfying place as a result of the extra effort. In the prologue of Spartan Up, Joe de Sena, reflects on participating in the Raid International Ukatak, an extreme sports event... Here's what he says: “An inverse correlation exists between how you feel during the race, and how you feel after it.” De Sena felt like a million bucks after the Ukatak was over, but during the event, he was utterly miserable, frightened, and desperate, at many points. He adds, “When you break through the other side of hell and finish an event that did not seem possible, that stopped you in your tracks, over and over, something happens. You feel accomplished, incredibly proud of yourself, and in some ways, a different person” I totally agree. If a chicken can play America the Beautiful, surely I can stretch myself and get beyond where I currently am. And so can anyone else.

Keep an eye out for quotations and one liners.

Sometimes a single line of wisdom can change the trajectory of your life.

Recently, I came across this quote:

"A fool is better than an obstinate man".

It made me think about all the things I am obstinate about.

And the things I used to be obstinate about, and stopped being obstinate about, bringing a welcome change in my life.

What are you being obstinate about?

Being obstinate could be what is holding you back from dealing with your current life challenges.

Obstinate that you can’t do something - because you have never done it before.

Obstinate that you are too old, or too young, or too whatever, to start something, or to give up something.

Obstinate that you can’t do something, because you have tried many times, and you have failed.

Obstinate that you are right, and others are wrong.

Obstinate that you can't help be resentful about a situation.

Obstinate that you hold the truth, and others don't.

What are you currently obstinate about?

What are ways to open your eyes and evolve?

If you know someone wise, ask them.

Have conversations with people whose ideas you value.

Watch or listen to podcasts.

Read blog posts.

Expand the number of people you interact with.

You can learn something new almost everyday.

Recently, I learned this from someone at my book club:

She told me that the founder of Sikhism wanted to create a religion that avoided the worst of Hinduism and the worst of Islam.

Since Hinduism was intrinsically linked with the caste system, and with many gender atrocities at the time, the founder decided that there would be only two last names for Sikh men and Sikh women. Sikh men would have the last name, Singh - which means lion, and Sikh women would have the last name Kaur - which means princess.

From Google AI, I was able to learn more…

“Sikhism mandates absolute spiritual and social equality between men and women. The faith’s scriptures reject female infanticide, the veiling of women, and the notion that women are impure. Both genders possess equal rights to participate in religious, cultural, and leadership roles.”

If you were to found a religion, and take the best of today’s religions, what would you include in it? What would you exclude?

The challenges of life are there to help us evolve.

The challenges are questions to which we are invited to seek answers.

There are many ways and places to search for those answers.

Both Newton and the Buddha found their answers sitting under a tree.

Answers are found by thinking or meditating deeply.

Those who give themselves time to think deeply, to self-reflect, to tap into the wisdom available, and to access their unconscious mind through prayer and meditation, will find the answers they seek.

Is oversharing a negative trait? What's the correct way to share something about yourself?

Oversharing can be a sign of self-centeredness.

Self-centeredness is an unattractive quality.

People like to be around those who listen to them, not just treat them as a ear for all their thoughts, and feelings.

Minoo Jha

 · 2y

Why do people love to talk about themselves?

Hi, Why do people like talking about themselves so much? Because that’s what’s on their mind - what’s happening to them, what they are doing, how good or bad they are, what problems they have, what they did or did not do on a day. I answered a Quora question, “How do I find fascinating conversationalists?” I listed these suggestions. * The best conversationalists are storytellers. So I would say look for people who are storytellers. * I would also look for people who are interested in a lot of things, and read a lot. People who are interested in lots of things and read a lot will always have something new and interesting to share. * Finally, I would look for people who are great listeners. As I have said on my blog, interested people are interesting. * Until you find “your people”, I would tune into talks, podcasts and You Tube videos. I have discovered several riveting talks, podcasts and videos. Have you listened to Alan Watts, Sadhguru, or Jordan Peterson? Have you listened to This American Life? I am so excited to even list these options. I can’t wait to see what you think of them. I need to add one more bullet point, triggered by your question: * Find people who are other-centered, rather than self-centered

As you become less self-centered, you will become better at being “conversational company”.

“Conversational company” is different from being company to sing with, company to dance with, company to travel with, company to eat with, company to attend a business meeting with, or company to attend an event with.

Those who are skilled at “conversational company” do thoughtful sharing.

They know when to share, and how to share.

Those who have a natural or developed “conversational company” talent, do not avoid sharing, but share in a positive way.

And they share with humility.

I will leave you with one important thought on becoming better conversational company...

Interesting people are interested people.

What decisions in my life gave me the biggest growth?

Here are some of them:

Career:

The decision to start my own advertising hot-shop, Purple Patch in my first career. I learned to manage money, people, time, clients - in a way I would never have been able to, prior to that.

The decision to learn Xactly, and become a freelance Commissions Analyst in my second career.

I learned to be flexible.

I learned to adapt to different client’s needs, priorities, quirks, and limitations - over 17 clients in all.

I became the ideal temp in the process.

Hobbies:

The decision to start a blog.

I grew into a writer, who cared less about making an impression, and into a writer, who cared about sharing my thoughts, having an influence, leaving a legacy, and helping people avoid the mistakes I have made.

Over time, my writing has become simpler and simpler.

I aim to reach the maximum number of readers.

I do this with answering questions on Quora as well.

Quora has been a great lab.

If an answer of mine gets a lot of views on Quora, I understand the question must be important to a lot of people.

So I republish the Quora answer on my blog, so it can benefit the readers of my blog.

Author Joseph Sestito helped me to become less self-cherishing in my writing.

I have hit the publish button on blog posts and Quora answers, even when I am uncertain about their quality, thanks to reading his book, Write For Your Lives.

I have matured into a less self-cherishing person, overall, thanks to the wisdom that time, experience, reading, listening, conversing, meditating, and attending Sunday services, has brought me.

Finances:

The decision to become financially savvy.

Becoming a freelancer made me sharply aware of the need.

Freelancers cannot afford to take their eye off of their finances.

There will be gaps between assignments, when no money comes in.

I made the decision to become a freelancer, knowing this fully well.

I felt I was in a good position to become a freelancer.

I had low monthly bills to pay, being a minimalist.

I had absorbed the idea that minimalism is the shortest route to financial freedom, by reading online articles by Mr. Money Mustache and other FIRE advocates, for years before.

I doubled down on the idea, after becoming a freelancer, giving myself the goal to create FMG money.

FMG money is necessary for success if you are a freelancer, or any sort of self-employed person - whether hairdresser, or electrician, personal trainer, or consultant.

I was in great shape to create FMG money, for one thing, having done my taxes myself continuously since 2003, and two, having read a lot of finance books, including Robert Kiyosaki’s book Rich Dad Poor Dad, which was a wake-up book for me.

When it came to my stock investments, I ate humble pie and donuts early, and never looked back.

Life Choices

The decision to have a child.

It changed my habits, and changed my priorities.

Suddenly, there was this little thing that was completely dependent on me for everything.

I became more responsible.

I stopped drinking, not wanting to be in the position where I might need to take my daughter to a doctor, in an impaired state.

Instead of typical job benefits like more money and promotions, I asked for flexibility.

Different stages of my child's life called for different things.

So I became a different version of myself at every stage.

At this stage, Support Mom and Lighthouse Mom, are the most appropriate roles.

Relationships:

I have made my share of mistakes.

In some cases, the mistakes were because of a crisis.

What's important, is I am in a better place now, in each of my relationships - as a parent, as an ex, as a sibling, as an in-law, as a friend.

I learned to meditate in the fall of 2010, after reading the book How God Changes Your Brain.

Since then, I have worked on lots of my issues, including my volatile temper. 

I became more self-reflective.

Becoming more self-reflective opened my eyes to all the "irritable unspoken commentary" that ran in my head, in response to what people said, did, even posted.

Of course, I was always right, and the other person was always wrong.

To paraphrase Robert Heinlein, "We are not rational people; we are rationalizing people." 

After learning to meditate, I decided to improve myself inside and out.

Become  a low maintenance person.

I stopped many things - including being defensive of actions and ideas, that other people did not share, or subscribe to.

Since 2014, I also began attending church on Sundays.

Attending church has become a meaningful part of my week.

I have had many spiritual breakthroughs and creative breakthroughs, right there in church.

Speaking of creative breakthroughs, there is one from many years ago, in fact in my early years of meditation, which I never tire of sharing.

My 3 benches experience.

I find it hard to dismiss it as a pure coincidence.

Life brings us bouquets and blows.

Life brings us laughter and tears.

Life brings us things we are proud of, and things we regret.

Life brings us all that we see, hear, touch, taste, smell, read, experience, and think about.

Most of all, life brings us other lives.

All of them contribute to our growth.

After being defiantly individual, I learned to cooperate with all the other lives in my life.

After being defiantly self-centered, I became other-centered, welcoming the role of “the other artist” and of a higher, unseen wisdom.

In my quest for growth, I no longer walk alone.

There is wisdom all around me to help me grow.

I just have to be open to it, and not reject it, as it has been my habit to do.

How do wealthy people avoid potentially career-ending decisions?

Wealthy people do not have to worry so much about career-ending decisions.

What they have to worry about, is wealth-ending decisions.

Wealth can be lost by slow leaks.

Wealth can also be lost in the blink of an eye.

Those who put their trust in Bernie Madoff, learned the hard way, that wealth can be lost in the blink of an eye.

Wealth can be lost, in so many different ways.

• Poor investment choices.
• Taking unnecessary risks.
• Making risky investment gambles.
• Lack of diversification.
•  Not saving enough.
•  Not letting compounding work.

• Saving only to spend on immediate pleasures and gratifications.
• Spending too much when buying a house, a car.
• Spending to keep up with the Joneses.
• Having expensive tastes early in your career trajectory.
• Getting involved in sketchy deals.
• Letting addictions, whether to substances, or to gambling, or to sex, get the better of one.
• Taking on unnecessary debt.
• Not paying things on time.
• Causing oneself unnecessary payments, through fines, parking tickets, tows etc.
• Making accidental or deliberate errors on one’s W4.
• Not paying one's taxes, or doing sketchy things, to avoid paying taxes.
• Using one’s home equity as a bank to draw money from.
• Saving in tax-deferred vehicles such as 401Ks, and Traditional IRAs - only to take out money, before turning 59 and a half, and and paying a hefty penalty plus tax.
• Being ignorant (or irresponsible) about taxes, insurance, and other information required to protect wealth.

On the other hand, here are the things wealthy people do:

• Wealthy people put their wealth in different buckets.
• They make sure they have enough money in the cash bucket - Cash is not just for emergencies. It is also for opportunities. It doesn't matter that the cash is not earning much, or growing much, such as at times when interest rates on cash are low. The principal purpose of the cash bucket is to be available for opportunities and emergencies. It is not to earn money. Wealthy people have money in other buckets, which are growing and earning money.
• Wealthy people let compounding work for them - This means they resist taking out money from their 401Ks and their IRAs, before turning 59 and a half.
• They also don't get impatient and chase "fast buck" opportunities.
• Compounding is boring, but wealthy people know that boring is good, and boring will get the job done.
• Wealthy people insure all their assets appropriately - with the right insurance companies, and the right coverage.
• Wealthy people never get themselves into an unmanageable debt hole, by letting interest build up upon interest upon interest.

• Wealthy people know what to expect at tax time. They use calculators such as the Dinkytown.net 1040 calculator to model their taxes ahead of time, so there are no unnecessary surprises. They know all the tax brackets, and in fact, many are able to do their taxes manually, because they have familiarized themselves with the ins and outs of the tax code, keeping up with yearly changes. J K Lasser is a familiar name to them.

• Wealthy people let compounding work for them. They let their money grow.
• Wealthy people never scramble to pay their credit card off every month, never scramble to pay their bills, never scramble to pay their taxes.
• Wealthy use their money and assets to make money. In solid ways, not hustling high-risk schemes, which can go sideways fast, or turn out to be empty shells. Wealthy people aim to reach a stage, where they don’t have to work for money - they can work, purely because they enjoy working, or enjoy the work they do.

A simple wow to make today, in order to get to the same place, without the missteps...

Become less of a hustler, scrambler, and gambler.

Every time you hustle or scramble, make a note of it.

Make a note of the reasons why you are hustling, scrambling, or gambling.

Is it because you are short of money?

Is it because you made a wrong decision, and now you are trying to correct for it?

Is it because it is thrilling to make a fast buck?

Make a wow to yourself, to break free of hustling, scrambling, and gambling.

Make a vow to get on the boring "gets you there" path, and to follow a sane philosophy of investing.

Do this….and you will be on the path to "comfortable security", which is a luxury for most people.

Which path do you want to be on?

Path 1 - the path to comfortable security, which is a luxury for most people.

Path 2 - the path most people find themselves on - the path of hustling, scrambling, gambling, and grinding on.

The choice is yours.