The Art of Conversation

What is justice?  What is piety?  What is wisdom?

Is woman the equal of man?

Is there a God or are there gods?

Is God good or a mixture of good and bad - heaping you with blessings when you please him - meting out punishments when you don’t?

It’s the year 440 B.C.E.

How do you find out?

The Answer is Conversation

The man who put it to full use: Socrates

Today, when we have the internet; and schools and colleges; and books and magazines; and videos and photos, it’s hard to imagine Socrates attained so much wisdom just with an observing and questioning mind, and by talking to people.

Yes – talking to people.

A man who was convicted he was given a God-given mandate to seek out the truth about life and help others do the same, Socrates spent his life walking the streets of Athens and talking to people in different walks of life.

From the lowliest to the stateliest, he was interested in finding out how they lived and worked, and what their thoughts and attitudes were to different aspects of life.

What is justice?

Is it an eye for an eye?

Or is it a cure for evil – evil being a state of illness - since adult humans in their natural state are good?

Socrates got into lively discussions with his fellowmen and fellow women about important topics like these.

The Unexamined Life is Not Worth Living

Socrates was so dedicated to his mission of seeking out the truth about life – he made it his full time occupation.

This meant he did not have much money and had to live simply and frugally.

He lived abstemiously, owned very few clothes, walked barefoot, ate very little food, and did not have a house to his name.

Great thinkers and speakers of his time identified themselves as Sophists and earned a handsome income from training the sons of wealthy families in the arts of speech and rhetoric.

Socrates, with an intellect that towered above them all, refused to become a Sophist, and earned not a single penny (drachma) from his famous ability to make people think.

In true humility (often misunderstood for mock pride), he used to say “I don’t believe I know enough to teach anyone anything”

God is Good

In his search for truth, Socrates came to believe there was one God and he was good and God had given him a mandate to seek the truth and help others do the same.

This was heresy – to deny the pantheon of Greek gods (with their passions and temperaments), and to believe you had been given a special mandate by God.

Socrates would not have wished to contradict prevailing ideas, or look down on anyone. 

He was a loyal Athenian, who had fought for Athens as a brave and fearless soldier when the need arose.  He loved his fellowmen and fellow women and respected them. 

But he spoke what he believed to be the truth.

And was prepared to pay the consequences for it.

A Hero To The End

Holding his truth and his love for Athens in equal measure throughout his life, when his countrymen turned against him and unjustly condemned him to death for crimes in which he had no part, Socrates still held to his truth, as well as his love for Athens.

He would not desert Athens, nor allow anyone to talk ill of its laws and traditions.

Pleas by his friends to let them help him escape to freedom fell on deaf ears.

Here was a man who was as kind as he was thoughtful, as polite as he was insightful, as humble as he was resolute, and as brave as he was sincere.

He lived life courageously and went courageously to his death.

A hero to the very end!

Or as Paul Johnson describes him, “a man for all times “

A Man For Our Times

You want to know this man.

Besides being the greatest philosopher of all time, he might also be the greatest conversationalist of all time.

And his thoughts and ideas (and conversations) are just as relevant today as they were 2,500 years ago. 

Get acquainted with Socrates.

It could change your life.

P.S. This post first appeared as an Amazon review of Paul Johnson’s Socrates.  There are many books and documentaries which can help you can get acquainted with Socrates.  I read Paul Johnson’s book and enjoyed it so much, I read it twice.

P.S. 2:  As in my other Amazon reviews, I review “my experience of a book” rather than “the book itself”.  That is why my Amazon review of Becoming A Vegetarian – One Woman’s Experience by Anita Saran contains a passage from Lewis Carroll’s Sylvie and Bruno.  I reviewed Saran’s book in the context of my own experience of turning vegetarian, as well as my first hand experience of Saran’s incredible love for animals.

P.S.3: This book is dedicated to all the people I have had conversations with – phone conversations, blog conversations, e-mail conversations, face to face conversations.  My life would not be as full without them (even if I might have had more hair on my head without them :). Here's to more conversations and all the promise they hold, from better dates to better parties to better marriages and families and friendships; to the advancement of knowledge, understanding, wisdom, connectedness and peace.

P.S.4: My post The Unsocratic Coffee Quiz speculates on how Socrates might have quizzed someone on the subject of coffee.

P.S. 5: As always, thanks for reading and have a great day. Hope you had a great Diwali and Thanksgiving.

A Facebook Face-Off

A light-hearted look at a son’s attempts to bring his mom back from the dark side...

By Jacinta Correa

Last night my son was supposed to call.

He didn’t.

That’s not unusual…. he’s a man of few words, you see.

He reads a lot… talks a lot less.

I recall an evening at his apartment in San Francisco.

He looked at me, engrossed in my Facebook world, and said with irritation, “Do you have to be poring over that FB stuff all the time?”

I looked up equally irritated and said. ”What do you want me to do?”

“Read a book” he said promptly “This one. India After Gandhi: The History Of The World's Largest Democracy. By Ramchandra Guha. It’s good.”

“That’s boring” I said.

The irritation increased tenfold.

“You’re saying that!! You introduced reading into my life. You said, ‘Books are magic!’”

Goodness me! That was 25 years ago when, like any mother, I would wax eloquent about the joys of reading, to get my six and seven year old kids interested in the written word.

But now, I did something unusual for me… I stayed silent.

He continued, irritation unabated, “Mama, I’m so disappointed in you. You just can’t give up things that are important...that were so important to you.”

I’m old and weary now. I hate reading serious stuff. What good does it do, anyway? Just makes you depressed. But, again, I stayed silent.

Next morning after he had had left for work, I picked up this contentious , boring-looking History book with that resigned what-things-we-do- for-our-kids feeling, and browsed through it. Well, it was far from boring, actually. In fact, it was riveting!

That evening after dinner I commented “The title, the Iron Man of India for Sardar Patel seems pretty apt.“

“Absolutely!” my son’s face lit up, “You know Ma, his uncompromising and tough stand in the unification process  brought all the princely states on board. If it weren’t for his determined attempts, the map of India would have been so different.”

Examples and elaborations followed. My husband switched off his round-the-clock ‘Criminal Minds’ serial and joined in. (Albeit with a resigned look)

Then, an animated debate over the merits and demerits of Jawaharlal Nehru’s decision to build giant sized Iron and Steel plants with foreign aid followed.…were they a huge drain on a fledgling economy or did they succeed in laying a strong industrial foundation for India?

How regressive was Indira Gandhi‘s decision to nationalize Indian Banks, or was it, in fact, a brilliant idea, that finally steered bank funds into rural India?

Is the author right in suggesting that India is no longer a constitutional democracy, but a populist one?

All in all, a very lively evening with assumptions challenged, opinions shared.

So o.k. son, I don’t hate serious stuff that much.

O.k.  I’m not that old and weary.

And o.k. maybe things aren’t that depressing, really.

And yes, I’ll concede serious reading and intellectual discourse can be informative and stimulating.

But Siddhu, sweetheart, Facebook is so much FUN!!!! 

About Myself

Never realized how much I’d love teaching high school kids until a friend asked me to fill in for her, at a school in my hometown, Thane. Graduating with Economics (from St Xavier’s college, Mumbai) was supposed to take me into the high echelons of banking or business. But, like they say, ‘Life’ is what happens to you while you’re busy planning it:)

Never had a moment’s regret at changing course, though. Armed with a B.Ed degree in English language teaching, I pursued my new found vocation and got the best of two worlds when my school principal asked me to teach both English and Economic classes in school!!

I love reading poetry, listening to old Hindi songs, drinking cups and cups of chai, making glitzy powerpoint presentations, creating photo collages, designing interiors, and my latest love is …..Pinterest...ing. - :)

I’m passionate about Human Rights, Sustainable Growth and Reforms in Education.

My favourite Quote:

 “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” Albert Einstein

Postscript by Minoo:

P.S. Thanks Jacinta for this very entertaining post.  Siddharth, good luck with trying to cure your mother of her Facebook addiction.  I checked the stats and they don't look promising in this regard - apparently women drive 62% of daily Facebook activity, 68% of Pinterest traffic, comprise 53% of Twitter users and tweet more frequently than men. Women also tend to be active across multiple social platforms, which explains why just when you thought you had it with your mom's Facebooking, you now have her Pinteresting to contend with as well.

P.S. 2: Readers....are you a regular Facebooker?  What kind are you?  Take the quiz.

P.S. 3: As always, thanks for reading and have a great day.

This picture is taken from Jacinta's Facebook page and is a table piece she created with fruit from Rosie and Mohammed's farm. Enjoy.

Kushboo

 

In response to a request made in my post Election 2012 – Yes on Bath Crayons, Jacinta Correa sent me a beautiful tribute she wrote to Kushboo, a student in her school whose life was intertwined with hers in a very powerful, very personal way...

Mid June is ‘back to school’ time in Mumbai, but in June, 1998, Kushboo and I didn’t make it to school on reopening day. A couple of weeks earlier, my casual medical check-up at a local clinic had revealed a malignant tumour…and even as my family and I reeled from this initial shock, we were told the cancer was in a fairly advanced state. I was hospitalized immediately.

It was in hospital that I heard about Kushboo, the little fifth standard child from my school who had been diagnosed with leukemia and was also in hospital, also battling for life. “Every morning at the school assembly we pray for Kushboo and you” my teacher friend, visiting me in hospital, told me.

Two years, several chemo sessions and a surgery later…a miraculous remission…and I was back in school.

And two months after that, we joyously welcomed back a beaming Kushboo. Her father, mother and little brother, all bursting with happiness, distributed sweets in school. It was a beautiful day.

But our joy was short-lived. A couple of months later, Kushboo was sick again and back in hospital.

And again the entire school stormed heaven with prayers as the child struggled painfully with chemotherapy and radiation. But the brave little girl, after fighting back valiantly for almost a year, finally lost her battle against cancer.

I was spared and sweet, innocent, twelve-year-old Kushboo wasn’t. Why?

Indeed as the Bible says: “How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!” (Romans 11:33).

I’d like to share this tribute of love I wrote for Kushboo, for her classmate and friend to read out, at the school assembly.

(P.S:  Kushboo in Hindi means fragrance) 

Kushboo

Fragrance filled the morning air,

As each day,

We lifted your name to God, in prayer.

And asked the Heavenly Father above

To protect from pain the friend we loved

As quietly in your bed you’d lie,

The pain, we know, sometimes made you cry.

And with anguished hearts we asked God: "Why?

Your little one you so sorely try?”

What His purpose is, we do not know

For a mother’s heart to be shattered so.

For a father’s heart to be frozen in grief, 

As he waited...in vain… for a little reprieve

From a cancer that was taking a terrible toll

Of a beloved daughter and a father’s soul.

While a brave little brother shed silent tears,

His world a blur of anxiety and fears

Three long years you battled on…

Your strength weakening; but your spirit strong.

And in each of our hearts you carved a place.

Our lives have been touched by your courage and grace

And as, once more today, we lift our hearts in prayer,

Kushboo fills the morning air.

And the sweet sad fragrance, all around us, flung

Is the fragrance of courage in one so young.

It’s the fragrance of innocence,

And incredible endurance.

Kushboo, you touched our hearts…

Kushboo, you MADE A DIFFERENCE.

Postscript by Minoo 
Life asks us to be bigger than ourselves; bigger than our limitations of birth, wealth and talent, bigger than our ambitions, sometimes even bigger than the devastating financial, health or relationship setbacks and blows that may strike us at any time.

This tribute to Kushboo stands out to me as a shining example of someone “being bigger than themselves”.

While Jacinta could have focused on herself and the fearful diagnosis that had been handed out to her and all she had been through as a result of it, she instead found the words to write a tribute to Kushboo, the little girl who had lost her life too early.

We all have it in us to be bigger than ourselves.

And it will come out at one time or another.

If you can’t recall a time in your life when you were bigger than yourself, don’t worry.

There’s plenty of time up ahead.

When you do find yourself responding to life’s challenges by being bigger than yourself, I would be honored to hear your story.

As I am honored to hear the stories of so many people who have been bigger than themselves.

My post Lessons From My Personal Heroes tells of a couple (dear friends of mine) who were bigger than themselves in spite of a devastating loss; and my post How to Let Nothing Come Between You and a Fulfilling Life tells of people who have not let their limitations limit their capacity to lead a fulfilling life.

And there are also many untold stories.

Whether it’s my aunt in Delhi teaching her maidservant’s children, my friend Sangeetha in Chennai getting involved in her tailors’ lives, Walnut creek couple Ann and Jim attending to the podiatric needs of the homeless in San Francisco, my friend Anita cleaning the bathrooms of the Buddhist temple in Bangalore, Mercy, the Catholic Charities volunteer visiting my Mum twice a week while I was at work, or people in my own family putting the needs of others first, these stories are uplifting, heartening and have been a shining light to me.

I salute you all and thank you for your example.

Jacinta, I would like to thank you for this beautiful tribute.  

Dear reader, Jacinta will be guest-posting again next week and I have donned my journalist hat (a new hat, for those of you who have read my post “What I Think About When I Wear My Different Hats” and my post “Dare to Share”) to get a brief bio from her and find out what a few of her favorite things are to include with that post.  So do come back again next week.

As always, thanks for reading and have a great day.