The Secret to Good Relationships - Tuning In

Let’s talk about radio stations.

If you want to listen to the KFOG radio station, you have to tune in to the frequency of the KFOG radio station.

107.7.

You can't tune in to the frequency of the KBAY radio station and expect to hear the KFOG radio station.

KBAY music plays on the KBAY radio station.

So if you tune in to the frequency of the KBAY radio station, you will hear the music played by KBAY.

So now how is this related to dealing with the significant people in your life?

You need to tune in to the station of anyone who is significant to you, so you can really hear them.

But what happens if you don't like the music that's being played on their station?

This is where the problem arises.

You don't like the music that's playing on their station.

What's more, you may not be able to escape it - living under the same roof, or having to deal with them day in and day out.

So you decide the next best thing is to just tune it out.

Block out whatever they say as best you can.

Using tools like your imagination.

While this is a coping tool, it's not a solving tool.

It would be nice if you could say to the people in your life, ”Hey I don't like what you are playing on your radio station; can you play this instead?”

But of course, that's wishful thinking.

It's never going to be as simple as that.

If you do that, it will only make things worse.

So the same thing goes on and on.

And maybe you continue to do what you have always done - try to tune things out.

You can live a whole lifetime like this - with nothing changing.

And with profound dissatisfaction on all sides.

If you desire to have a meaningful, caring, and more easy-going relationship, no two questions about it...

You have to tune in.

If the dial is stuck,  you may be tempted to use your developed reflex to tune out and block out whatever you do not like.

But really, you should consider using your alone time as reflection time.

And come up with a strategy to replace “blocking out” with “tuning in”.

Tuning in might be to ask someone, "What are your thoughts right now?"

Or, "What would you like to do right now?"

Or, “What is bothering you the most right now?”

Or, “How can I make things easier for you?"

Or, "Why do you think that?"

Life gets more challenging for everyone as we go along.

Life gets more challenging physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Tuning in may mean acknowledging the increased physical, mental, and emotional challenges the people in your life face.

And doing what you can to alleviate them.

Tuning in many also mean acknowledging the small things that bother other people.

Sometimes what's small to you may be significant to someone else.

We are all different.

The most successful relationships are those where both people are tuned in.

How can you  craft and implement the right “tune in” strategy today?