Dreams vs goals - what is more important?

A dream stays in the imagination.

A goal is concretized in some way.

For example, “I would like to go an Alaskan cruise to see the glaciers one day” is a dream.

A goal is when your tickets for the Alaskan cruise are booked.

Warning - many things are better off as a dream, unless you truly have the money and earning capacity to pay for it.

And the physical and mental ability to enjoy it.

If you pay for a dream with debt, and this debt ends up being hell to repay, that is a loser’s game.

If the dream turns out not what it was meant to be, because you did not have the physical, mental, or emotional ability to enjoy it, that is a loser’s game too.

Play only winning games with your dreams and goals.

Also, understand that you may have many dreams for yourself.

So it is important to prioritize between your dreams.

You may not be able to achieve all of them, but you can achieve some of them.

Also, understand that you may have many dreams for your children.

But you may find out, your children want to follow their own dreams, not what you hoped and wanted for them.

Did you follow your own dreams, or your parents’ dreams for you?

Did you start off copying them, and then go your own way?

Even if you have mostly followed your parent’s dreams for you, you are probably not living the exact life they had in mind.

So it will be with your kids.

The sacrifices you thought were worth making, may not be the sacrifices they consider worth making.

Your kids may differ from you, not only in what they believe, but what they are prepared to sacrifice.

Minoo Jha

 · 3y

Is it possible to live somebody else's life?

Not only is it not possible, it is not right. It is not right to expect your children to live your lives, rather than their own. I wrote this to drive home the point… Let Your Dreams Be Your Dreams Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to be a doctor or engineer It's what equals respect and status in your eyes Your child wants to be a teacher, writer, firefighter, or something else It's what equals meaning and fulfillment in your child's eyes __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to fit in with their clothing style You fear people will look at them and sneer and hide a giggle They want to express a unique style For which they are willing to pay any price, even that of being a social misfit __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to share your religious and political beliefs They are growing, and as part of their growth, they are forming a different worldview from you One they hope not to have to hide from you, for fear of rejection or disappointment __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want your child to look at music and art as hobbies They want to give those things a bigger place in their life They value it enough to live on the financial edge __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to fit standard social norms Ones that have existed from the beginning of social time They want a life outside of those norms Hoping to be accepted and embraced by you, rather than cast aside __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to marry and have children They want to be single and follow their own path They want you to understand, not fuss __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ You want them to buy a house Wealth is measured in assets - this is what you think They want to live in a trailer and travel Wealth is measured in experiences - this is what they think __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky __ Let your dreams be your dreams Let your children's dreams be your children's dreams Dreams are meant to be as numerous as the stars in the sky

One wonderful additional thought about dreams and goals...

Dreams and goals are different at different ages and stages of life.

As we go through life, our dreams, can radically change, and new beliefs may go hand in hand with those new dreams and goals.

Minoo Jha

 · 6y

How do you deal with information that goes against your beliefs?

Hi, You asked, How do you deal with information that goes against your beliefs? I have written about this before on my blog. Reprinting a short edited version here because it is relevant. The Element of Understanding How We Feel and Think is Not Going to Be How We Will Always Feel and Think We tend to stick to our guns. To believe we are Moses and have received our own personal version of the Ten Commandments on two tablets of stone. We think that our thoughts and feelings are correct, and those who do not think and feel like us are ignorant, misguided, immoral, or, maybe, even all 3. And then one day, we wake up to find our thoughts and feelings are no longer what they used to be. Our old feelings and thoughts are replaced by new feelings and thoughts. How could this happen? How could we become such different people? How could we become like the very people, whose thoughts and feelings revolted us, and who we did not approve of? It is human. A fish is a fish is a fish. It will behave the same way its whole life. A butterfly is a butterfly is a butterfly. It will behave the same way its whole life. Humans are different. We are designed to think, feel and behave differently at different stages in our lives. Once upon a time we wore bell bottoms, and elephant pants, and tie and dye tee-shirts, and we went to discos. We shed our bell bottoms and elephant pants and tie and dye tee-shirts and our disco-dancing. Didn't we? Why should change and growth be limited just to the physical and cosmetic aspects of our lives? Shouldn’t is be just as natural for us to grow in our thoughts, feelings and consciousness, as it is for our appearance to change? Our bodies will ultimately decay and pass on. But our thoughts, feelings, behavior, and consciousness have the potential to keep growing until we die, and even to outlast our lives. Our words and deeds will be the legacy we leave to the people who knew us, or have heard of us. Our legacy goes beyond the financial and material. There is the legacy of our personalities, and the way we lived our lives. Even for those of us who will get Alzheimer’s or dementia, our thoughts, feelings and consciousness could continue growing, despite neurological decay. How do you feel and think about things? Is it the same way you have always felt? Have you explored thinking and feeling differently? Are you stuck? Think about getting unstuck. You should do this especially, if you have problematic thoughts and feelings. Problematic thoughts and feelings are thoughts and feelings that get in the way of a happy, stable life, and satisfying relationships. We should bring meaning and mindfulness, to everything we think, say, feel, and do. We may have to backtrack on how we thought or felt before, in order to do that. Back-tracking does not mean we are indecisive. It means we have matured and grown. We should look forward to this milestone, and be thankful for the change. Here is one example from my life, in which my thoughts and feelings have changed, and I am thankful for the change. My Thoughts Regards the Spiritual Life I used to be completely dismissive of anything spiritual. I was an atheist with both my feet planted firmly on the ground. I did not believe in miracles, I did not find anything magical about coincidences. (My friend Anita may remember all the arguments I used to have with her over her Ouija board and her Tarot cards and her I-Ching.) Today I think, "What is life without magic and believing in magic?" I consider the fact I am able to meditate, and I am able to blog miraculous, I consider the fact I was inspired to become vegetarian (though it lasted only for 3 years) miraculous, and I am grateful for these and other miracles in my life. Do I believe we can predict the future? No! But I do believe that some coincidences are too strange to be just coincidences, and I do think we can be forgiven for thinking miracles have taken place. In fact, we should always hope and pray for miracles to take place. Optimism will get us further than pessimism. We should never think anything is hopeless. My former atheism has been replaced by a spiritualism. No one is more surprised than me about that. But I am also thankful for the change. My life has become so much richer for it. I feel so much more alive. So I will end this answer by leaving you with this thought… Ideas that conflict with your beliefs contain the seeds of change. From those seeds, could emerge a wonderful harvest for your life.

Depending on how radical the change, we may say to ourselves, “how did I even think those things before?”, “how did I even say those things before?”.