I have a setback in life and I want to make a comeback. what should I do?
Story 1 - Setback into Comeback Once upon a time there was a little boy. When he was 3 years old, his dad was plastering a wall at his house. Innocently - and not knowing what he was doing, the boy poked a finger into the damp plaster. His dad saw him do it from across the room and got mad. In a rage, his dad threw a roof shingle across the room at him. The roof shingle pierced the boy’s head and lodged in his skull. He had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency surgery. The boy grew up with the memory of this terrible incident, as well as other incidents caused by his father’s rages. Growing up, he was a constant witness to, and a victim of his father’s abuse of himself and his mother. He observed how his mother handled his father's rages with compassion. When he became an adult, the boy chose to pursue psychology. He has interested in anger, and the underlying causes for violent expressions of anger. His studies and research pointed to low self-esteem being the cause of anger. People who were angry harbored severe feelings of shame and guilt - coupled with a lack of empathy for other people’s feelings. He understood low self esteem was at the heart of many violent crimes. He decided to dedicate his life to helping people successfully deal with, and overcome their anger issues. His successes include some of the most hardened criminals in the justice system. His name is Steven Stosny, or more formally, Dr. Steven Stosny. He is a living example of how to turn a setback into a comeback. If someone does something to us, we should never think we have only 2 choices, one of which is to run away and seek refuge in something, the other to strike back. Fight or flight are not are only answers. What Dr. Stosny teaches us (and his clients) is that there is a third way, which is developing compassion for ourselves, and for all those who make us suffer, or have made us suffer. Story 2: Setback Into Comeback In 1918, when the US entered World War 1, a man enlisted in the US army as a private. He was 38 years old and had already amassed a fortune of $75,000. Concerned that he may not come back from the war, he gave his savings to his best friend for safe-keeping. The war took many lives, but mercifully, his life was spared, and when he was released from duty, which was 14 months later, he was ready to begin his old life again. One of the first things he did, on his release, was to visit his friend to get his money. Bad news was waiting for him at his friend’s house. His friend had committed suicide, and left his wife a widow. His friend's widow told him, his friend had put both his own money, and the money they had, in a worthless investment, and lost it all. The shame and grief over the loss had been too much for his friend, and he took his own life. What do you think the ex-Army Private did? He accepted the blame for putting “that much temptation” in his friend’s way, and made monthly contributions to the man’s widow, for the next 30 years. The man’s name was Grantland Rice. He was the most famous sportswriter of his time. Even if you don't know his name, you will definitely know these words which he penned – “For when the One Great Scorer comes To mark against your name, He writes - not that you won or lost - But HOW you played the Game.” There’s another way to turn a setback into a comeback. Story 3 - Setback into Comeback In 1990, a 22 year old student of Kenyon College, Ohio, was riding in a car - when she got an attack of nausea. The nausea continued over days and weeks and months, and was soon accompanied by severe aches and pains - from head to toe, incapacitating her. After months of going to doctors, they would eventually diagnose her condition as chronic fatigue syndrome. She dropped out of college, and from then on, her life became that of a house-bound invalid. In such a condition, many would throw up their hands, and say, “I am an invalid; that’s all my life is good for”. But the girl did not do that. She picked a subject that interested her - and started writing a book. Unable to leave the house, she did all her research at home – either by going online, or via the phone. She turned out a best-seller. Her book was on the New York Times Non-Fiction Best-Seller list for 30 weeks, and was made into a hit movie in 2003. Still home-bound, she started to work on a new book soon after. Her second book was also a hit, # 1 on the New York Times Non-Fiction Best-Seller List for 52 weeks. It was picked up by Angelina Jolie, and made into a film. The girl’s name is Laura Hillenbrand, and the books are Sea Biscuit and Unbroken, movies of which you may have seen. 3 inspiring examples of people who turned setbacks into comebacks. What’s yours?
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