The Element of Planning the Philosophy of Our Exits and Its Hope for Leaving with Swan Songs Not Burnt Bridges

If I have to make a general comment, it is that most of us respond too hastily.

We respond hastily to things people do. We respond hastily to things people say. We respond hastily to situations we don't like.

This is unfortunate. Because situations, by their very nature, require time and thought to arrive at a solution.

Hasty reactions can cost us.

They can cost us money, they can cost us relationships, they can cost us our jobs, they can cost us our social life.

The can even have long term negative consequences such as making it difficult for us to get a job, be in a relationship, or have friends.

How much better to take a situation as a challenge…. and try to think of a solution.

"Be a part of the solution, don't be part of the problem" is a frequently quoted line.

How many of us internalize this and make it a philosophy?

Often we don't even recognize when we are being part of the problem, and not the solution.

In my first career in India, if I got pissed off at any job, I became a problem.

When you become a problem, can you guess what happens?

Nothing positive happens. You become a nuisance - that's all that happens.

Eventually, you get fed up with being a nuisance, and you move on. Or sometimes, before you get fed up, the company gets fed up with you, and you are pushed out.

In my advertising career, I did a lot of moving on, often quite hastily.

I walked out of my first advertising job.

My attitude was "to hell with it" and "it's their loss".

I walked out of other jobs with the same attitude.

I did not stop to think of the long term consequences. It just felt Howard Roarkish-good.

I didn’t realize I was burning bridges for good.

So whose loss is that?

The company could hire someone in my place - there were any number of people to choose from.

So it was my loss.

But I didn’t know it.

I lost relationships. I lost credibility. I lost the goodwill I had built up. And I lost all hope to ever work in that company again.

In times of plenty, you land on your feet, so you never give it much thought.

But a bad rap, a bad rep, is slow career suicide.

Sooner or later, you will have to pay the piper.

Sooner or later your burnt bridges will come back to haunt you.

As when, you apply for a job, and the hiring manager realizes they have a friend at a company where you previously worked.

So they get on the phone with their friend and wham…..

….there goes your hope of landing the job, even though you were the leading candidate and had a great interview.

If I had to turn back the clock, I wish I had left some jobs more graciously and more gratefully.

My meditation has brought me to a point where I cherish each and every human being that I meet, and every encounter I have, and this means I am sad at all the relationships I have lost because of being stubborn and proud and difficult.

I now see I should have had more gratitude for all the things that fell in my path in life - my jobs, my relationships, the experiences of my life.

For instance my first job gave me my first break - it was definitely something to be grateful for.

My second job gave me the opportunity to work on the advertising campaign of my life - it was definitely something to be grateful for.

My third job gave me the opportunity to work in a new city and meet new people, who were very significant to my personal and professional future - it was definitely something to be grateful for.

As far as possible, we should leave every job on a good note.

I feel each of us needs to have a philosophy about our exits, and to approach every exit with this philosophy in mind.

Otherwise, we will just go from job to job, and relationship to relationship, and from friendship to friendship, leaving a trail of dysfunction.

Isn't it a tragedy to blow our reputation, at a job in which we excelled, and where our skills were held in high regard?

A messy exit can do that.

A harmonious exit has the opposite effect.

I worked at HTA and MAA (Indian advertising agencies), twice.

The reason I was rehired at these 2 companies was because I left on a good note the first time.

When you leave on a bad note, your chances of being rehired are slim to nil.

I know this from experience, because I have had the shoe on the other foot as well.

Each of us should spend some time to develop an exit philosophy.

How do you quit, leave, or exit something? Is there a correct way to do this?

Yes, there is.

The correct way to do it is with grace, to leave on a good note, to leave without burning any bridges, to leave with a swansong.

We should look at our patterns of quitting.

If it has mostly been "Serve them right. They will be in a world of hurt now that they don't have me", we need to reflect on whether this way of thinking is likely to serve us, or hurt us.

If we have done this in multiple places, how come we’ve not learned any lessons, why have we not become more adaptable? You would expect a person who has worked in multiple environments to be more adaptable and flexible than someone who has worked only in one company, no?

If you’ve never thought about this before, take some time to think about it today.

How we get out of something is as important as how we get into something.

We should think about what we want to leave behind.

In this dine and dash economy, there are many times we may have to quit.

What impression do you want to leave?

Would you rather your departure be a loss to those you worked with, or a relief?

Would you rather people mourn your going away, or celebrate it?

Would you rather leave knowing you created chaos, or knowing you created value?

Would you rather leave creating goodwill, or creating ill-will?

Would you rather people want you back, than they be glad you are gone?

It all comes down to your exit philosophy

Something you can think about today.

You hold the cards.

You can be someone people want to remember.

Or someone they quickly or desperately want to forget.

It's up to you.

As always, thanks for reading and have a great day and week….M …..a Pearl Seeker like you. Thanks to Ajay and RT for their comments on my last post, and thanks to the rest of you for your likes, pins, votes, tweets and shares. Much appreciated!

P.S. Whatever we want to do – even if it’s rethinking our exit philosophy - will require inspiration. Take a break and watch this video. It may help you create a new vision for yourself.