Tear Out The Chapters

Tear out the chapters

Of the times when I was angry and mad

Tear out the chapters

Of the times when I was gloomy and sad.

Tear out the chapters

Of the times when I drank until I passed out 

Tear out the chapters

Of the times I took up jobs only to walk out.

Tear out the chapters

Of all the relationships I've entered and failed 

Tear out the chapters 

Of all the unflattering parts of my personal and professional tale.  

Tear out the chapters

Of all the money I've lost 

All the stupid mistakes I’ve made 

From debt to unwise gambles, from taxes to stocks.  

Tear out the chapters

Of the past dressing choices I made 

Sweaters in the Madras heat 

Day and night, wearing shades.  

Tear out the chapters

Of me getting upset about silly matters 

All those harsh words and actions

With child, siblings, parents, friends, others.

Tear out the chapters

Of all the blessings I did not appreciate 

All the things I failed to do 

While I was a self-absorbed ingrate.    

Ok, now that this is done 

What I need to see 

Is whether what is left 

Is a picture that’s true of me.  

No, it is not a true picture, dear reader 

Because without the light and shadow 

You will not see where I started from 

And where I want to go.  

So as tough as this is for me, dear reader 

I have to own what I've done 

It is only by coming out from the shadows 

We can set sail for the sun.    

I regret all the mistakes I made dear reader 

And I regret all the wild oats I’ve sown 

But through meditation and self-observation 

I’ve made sure I have grown.

So, let's put back the chapters 

Of when I was angry and mad 

And let's put back the chapters 

Of when I was gloomy and sad.

Let's put back the chapters

Of when I drank until I passed out 

Let's put back the chapters 

Of when I took up jobs only to walk out. 

Let's put back the chapters

Of all the relationships I failed 

Let's put back the chapters 

Of all the unflattering parts of my personal and professional tale.    

Thank you for accompanying me, dear reader 

On this round trip that was crucial for me 

Because at the end of it, I've gained something important 

Can you guess what it is?  

I've gained humility!