The Word God

I was standing at the gates of Communication Heaven

When the Word God said to me:

Did you use big words to talk to, or write to people?

Or did you speak and write simply?

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"What's wrong with pantheistic, megalomanic, supercilious, solipsistic?" I exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" the Word God declared

"I'll tell you what's wrong.  Few people understood the words you were using

But you were so stubborn, you never got that into your head."

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"You wasted people's time with words like apocalyptic, antediluvian, superlative, and cosmopolitan," the Word God added,

"Boring people and eating up precious hours of their day.

Every human who met you had to spend hours with a dictionary,

Just to figure out what you were trying to say."

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"But, but, but...they were in the dictionary" I protested.

"No ifs and buts" said the Word God, "Haven't I made it plain?"

"But, but, but..." I said, interrupting the Word God again

The Word God grew stern and said, "let me finish what I am sayin".

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I kept my cool, even though I wanted to protest,

And to make a case to enter Communication Heaven, big words and all

But the stern look on the Word God's face,

Told me that I would need to dump my apocalyptic, antediluvian, superlative, and cosmopolitan baggage,

If I had any chance of entering Communication Heaven at all.

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I looked so sad and worried about my future prospects in Communication Heaven

That the Word God decided to have mercy on me,

"Tell you what, I will let you go back to where you came from," the Word God said,

"And I will arrange for you to have a career in which you learn simplicity."

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And this how I came to be a copywriter, dear reader

It was just so that I could learn to read and write simply

And to help me say goodbye to words like praetorian, didactic, edacious, surreptitious

Even though, we both know (shhhh...don't say anything to the Word God),

Those words are in every dictionary!

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Oh, for those ornate, opulent, sumptuous, luxurious, magnificent, and splendorous words! Sadly, they had to go the way of the dosa for me.

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If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy:

The 7 Letter Words - the tale of the most frustrating and memorable scrabble game I ever played

The Mangalorean & The Big Words - never met a Mangalorean who didn't love big words.

Words Vs Numbers - a bit of whimsy about the career switch I had to make when I upped and moved to America.