The Element of Getting Beyond and Its Hope for Becoming Stronger and Wiser and Living Life More Abundantly

We are wise and we are strong and we are able to move forward in life to the extent we are able to get beyond.

We have to get beyond our setbacks.

We have to get beyond any traumas we may have experienced.

We have to get beyond the physical and psychological blows life may have dealt us.

We have to get beyond slights and disappointments.

We have to get beyond our grudges and resentments.

We have to get beyond our rejections, our losses, our failures.

Everything we are able to get beyond makes us stronger, wiser and happier.

Everything we are not able to get beyond holds us back.

You could say “getting beyond” is the price we have to pay for knowledge, wisdom and experiencing joyful abundance in life.

When I got beyond my fear of the unknown, I was able to make my first investment with my friend Ajay (as I recount in my post The Element of Conversations and Its Hope for Gaining Ideas and Wisdom Through Exchanging Our Thoughts With One Other).

When I got beyond trying to “copy Warren Buffett”, I was able to start making money rather than losing money on stocks.

When I got beyond pretending only victories made up my life, I was able to give a speech at Toastmasters on my failures and what I learned from them, as I relate in my post, "How I Lost a Grand on Donuts".

When I got beyond the fear of not having a steady income, I was able to quit my job and become a contractor, as I relate in my post The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope for Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer.

Everything I have got beyond has put me in a better place than where I was before.

To get beyond something, we have to take the first step.

We can't get beyond what we want to get beyond, if we don't take that first step.

If we don't take the first step, we may be stuck where we are forever.

When we take the first step, it acts much like the ignition key in a car, it starts the engine.

Soon we will find ourselves taking the second step, and then the third, and our progress develops a momentum of its own.

Ideas and opportunities will follow.

From Excel to Centive to Xactly to Varicent

My first step to becoming a Commissions Consultant was quitting my job in mid 2010.

Ideas and opportunities followed. (Leaving oneself space to think and respond will often do that).

I haven't quite gotten over the fact that the idea to do the Xactly training program came out of a conversation with my sister Rosie.  Thanks to that conversation, today I am Xactly trained, and Varicent trained, and I have completed 10 assignments as a contract Commissions Consultant.

Ideas and opportunities are two reasons to get beyond whatever is holding us back in our lives.

Missing out is another reason.

We miss out by not getting beyond.

From Taxi Jam to Extreme Sky Flyer

When Tanita was younger, she was afraid of going on roller coasters and the scarier rides at the California Great America theme park.

She would long to join in the fun, but her fears would hold her back.

She would stand on the sidelines and watch friends and children much younger than her go on these rides and she would feel miserable and left out.

Then one year, she was able to kick the fear.

She called me excitedly from the park that day to tell me she had gone on every single ride.

From that day Tanita never looked back. She never had to miss out on any of the fun again.

Have you ever been on the Extreme Sky Flyer?  Tanita has.  Here is a description of the Extreme Sky Flyer from the California Great America website: Experience the breathtaking experience of hang gliding and skydiving. You'll be hoisted 153 feet above ground, and dive at speeds up to 60 miles per hour while falling 17 stories toward the Earth, skimming just six feet above the ground. And here is a video from You Tube of what riding the Extreme Sky Flyer is like.

Get in On the Action

Yes, if we don’t get beyond, we will miss out.

If we don't get beyond our fears and insecurities, we will miss out on the many amazing things our life has to offer us, and the opportunity to prosper and thrive.

If we don’t get beyond our grudges, resentments or grievances, we will miss out on all the wonderful things that come from having happy healthy connections with people and being able to participate in the big and small events in their lives.

Getting beyond gives us a chance to get in on the action and not be on the outside looking in.

Getting beyond is our ticket to knowledge, wisdom and living an abundant life.

This is why I am so glad for every single thing I have been able to get beyond.

Let’s look at some of these things I have been able to get beyond.

Setbacks

One of the biggest setbacks in my life was my depression, as I told you about in my post If Life Is So Good Why Do I Feel So Sad?  But I got beyond that. Everyone who is currently suffering from a depression can take heart from my story.

What setbacks have you got beyond?  Good for you. Remind yourself of what you have come through as often as you can. Read my post How To Feel Good About Yourself When the Chips Are Down to get started.

Mindsets

What mindsets have I got beyond?  When I was offered the opportunity to take up the commissions analyst role at Palm, I had to get beyond the idea that I was bad with numbers, as I told you about in my post, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope for Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer.  Because of all my years doing nothing but writing, I thought of myself as a “words person”. But necessity and opportunity and encouragement enabled me to take the plunge and accept my first commissions analyst job, and I have never looked back.

What mindsets have you got beyond? Don't you often thank your stars you were able to get beyond those mindsets?

Relationship Problems

I didn’t have a very good relationship with my daughter.  That’s because I used to alternate between being Tiger Mom and Helicopter Mom.  Both these mums were ineffective in dealing with a teenager. Teens will be teens. It is natural for a young adult to want to individuate from her or his parent.  But Tiger Mom and Helicopter Mom weren't able to get that. Thankfully, Hippie Mom was born. Everything changed after that. I became the kind of parent Dr. John Duffy describes in his landmark book The Available Parent, (which every parent of a teen should read), and today I have a wonderful relationship with Tanita.

What relationship problems have you got beyond?  Isn’t it a relief when we get beyond a relationship problem?

Blocks

What blocks have I got beyond?  Writer's block is one of the big ones.  There was a long gap (a Guiness Book World Record gap) between my advertising career and this blog. And I thought I would never get beyond it.  But here I am - writing my two hundred and fiftieth post on this blog. Yeah!!!

What blocks are you currently experiencing?  Don’t worry.  Look what happened to me.

Habits of Mind

What habits of mind have I got beyond?  I had the habit of taking everything personally, for one thing.  I would look at every experience through an extremely self-centered lens, as I told you about in my post The Element of Being Less Self Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in the Correct Light. My friend Nadya, whom you can read all about in my post The United States of Friendship - Part 7 helped me get out of this habit of mind.

What habits of mind have you got beyond?  Who helped you get over them? Don't you think our greatest victories are our victories over habits of mind?

I Can’t Do Thats

What “no, I can’t do that” ideas have I got beyond?  How about I can't drive, I can’t cook and I can’t do my taxes on my own? These were all can't do's, until suddenly I became The Little Engine That Could. It was such a thrill.

What are the things you thought you could not do which you found out you can? Isn’t it great we are able to amaze ourselves in this way?

Challenges

What challenging moments have I got beyond?   Lots of them, actually.  Read my post The Element of Challenge and its Hope for Pushing Us Out of Our Comfort Zone and you'll find out. I have had many occasions to doubt myself and backtrack.  But I wouldn't be where I was today if I had allowed those challenging moments to hold me back.

What challenging moments have you got beyond?   The fact that you got beyond those challenging moments means you can do it again. As Randy Paush said in The Last Lecture, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” 

Attitudes

What attitudes have I got beyond? One of them was “I am an atheist and that’s that.” My post The Element of Moving On and Its Hope for Discovering New Selves tells you how I got beyond it and where I am today.

What attitudes have you got beyond? Do you feel you are a better and wiser person for it?

Issues

What issues have I got beyond? My anger issues, for one. My post How Many Times A Day Do You Visit Ireland? tells you how I successfully kicked my anger problem and began to have healthier happier relationships.

What issues have you got beyond? Do you feel that the secret to happiness sometimes lies in getting out of our own way? My post How to Become  a Low Maintenance Person encourages you to take your victories further.

Yes, we are wise and we are strong and we are able to move forward in life to the extent we are able to get beyond.

Which means we should take a moment to look back on the setbacks, mindsets, attitudes, challenges, blocks and issues we have got beyond….and then ask ourselves….

What remains to be tackled?

And what are the first steps we can take?

I hope this post inspires us all to get going on it.

Because as Amber Frey says, “in the end, it all comes down to the choice to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.”

As always, thanks for reading and have a great day and week….M….A Pearl-Seeker like you.  Thanks to Ajay, Ananda, Chris and Jacinta for their comments on Facebook, and thanks to everyone else for your votes and pins.  Much appreciated.