The Element of Conversation and Its Hope for Gaining Ideas and Wisdom Through Exchanging Our Thoughts With One Other

We experience everything in our lives through our own self-centered view and our own personal filters.

If we keep our views to ourselves, the light of truth may never be cast on them.

We may never realize how self-centered, how provincial, how limited, or how false our thinking and vision is.

Besides, we will miss out on all those things that exist beyond the periphery of our knowledge and our experience.

It is one reason to have conversations with as many different people as possible

By doing so, we can expand our boundaries and perceptions, try new things, look at things in new ways, and gain in knowledge, experience and wisdom.

It may not be an exaggeration to say that everything starts with a conversation.

And if we want to grow, we should start as many new conversations as possible.

New conversations lead to new directions.

It’s How I Got Into Stocks

Here is how it happened…..

My friend Ajay left the advertising company where he and I worked (you can read about his stint in advertising in his post A Short Stint in Advertising). 

Anyway, when he quit advertising to become an assistant stock-broker, he gave each of us at MAA his business card and asked if we would help him get started by being his first customers and buying stocks through him.

I did not know anything about stocks, and the whole business sounded too risky for my liking.

But, a few months later, I got into a conversation with one of the MAA secretaries, and I was surprised to learn that she and several other junior staff at MAA had invested money with Ajay.

I told myself, “Minoo, if they can do this on their salary, why can’t you do it on your salary? Surely, you can drop a few thousand down to buy stocks through Ajay.”

Soon after, I made my first investment with Ajay.

In the course of time, I would become so enchanted with stocks, I would say, “First love : stocks, second love : advertising, third love : hubby.”

So yes, if anyone cares to ask…..“Minoo, how did you get into stocks?”, I will have to say…...it all started with a conversation.

Your turn - Are there any investments you have made which started with a conversation?

It’s How I Became a Commissions Consultant

I quit my job in mid 2010, and my sister Rosie who was also unemployed at the time, attended a job coaching talk.

After the talk, she and I had a phone conversation, during which she shared with me some of the tips the job coach had given her.

One of the tips was to apply to courses to improve their skills, and then list the sign-ups for those courses on their resumes, even if the courses had not commenced.

This gave me an idea. I could do the Xactly Administrators Course and it would enable me to put "Xactly trained" on my resume.

So this is what I did.

Shortly after, Xactly introduced me to Don Gootee who signed me on as an Implementations consultant.

I have been a Commissions Consultant ever since.

Your turn - what are the new career steps you took which started with a conversation?

It’s How I Learned to Eat Better

I used to be quite unconcerned about what I ate.

Then I met my friend Julia.

Whenever I had a conversation with Julia, the subject would eventually come round to nutrition.

Julia would tell me about transfats and corn syrup and probiotics long before these became buzz words.

Thanks to Julia’s conversations, I was able to gradually modify my eating habits.

You can read about some of the things I learned from Julia by reading my post 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia.

Your turn - what are the healthy changes you made in your life which started with a conversation?

It’s How I Solved Many a Problem

Many times when I’ve had a problem, a conversation has saved the day.

A few months ago, Tanita and I had to go out of town for a few days.

Before we left, I worried about who would feed our two goldfish when we were away.

I was on assignment at Paypal at the time, and one day, when I was at lunch with the Paypal Commissions Analyst, the conversation came round to our pets and he told me he had dogs, cats, birds and fish.

I asked him what he did about his pets when he went out of town and he said he made arrangements for them.

I told him about my upcoming trip and my concern about my goldfish.

“You can always buy a vacation fish feeder,” he said.

“Vacation fish feeder”, I wondered aloud.“What’s that? I never knew there was something like that. It sounds terribly expensive.”

“No they are cheap – they are just slow release food pellets – should cost you just a few dollars,” he said.

Thanks to this timely tip from someone I had just met at Paypal, I was able to buy vacation fish feeders for just a few dollars, and Tanita and I were able to go on our trip without worrying about our goldfish.

Your turn - what are the solutions to problems which started with a conversation?

It’s How I Learned To See Things for What They Are

In my post The Element of Being Less Self Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in the Correct Light, I told you about a party I went to, where I felt awkward and uncomfortable, because I was seated at a table where people were engaged in conversation amongst themselves.

 

I assumed no one was talking to me, because I was Indian (they were white) and I assumed they were looking at me differently.  There were several traditional Indian women at the party, who were stay-at-home moms who did not know English, and I decided I was being stereotyped as one of them. 

 

But when I talked about the party to my friend Nadya, she stopped me as soon as I started rattling off all the different “I think they were thinking this” and “I think they were thinking that” and she said, “Most likely, they were just preoccupied with their own business and not thinking about you at all.”

In saying this, she helped me see things for what they are – instead of through the self-centered lens with which I had viewed my experience.

Another example is when my friend Julia helped me understand time with Tanita was priceless and there was no dollar value I could put on it.  You can read more in my post  The United States of Friendship Part 8. 

Your turn – what changes in your perceptions have come about as a result of a conversation?

It’s How I Have Coped with Challenges and Problems

In my post Family Advice I am Grateful For, I told you about some of the things my family has said to me to help me cope with different challenges and problems.

It may be worth reprinting what I wrote in that post. Here goes....

Wise words to one immigrant sister from another...

When I first came to this country, it was tough going. I didn’t know how to cook. I didn’t know how to drive.  I didn’t know how to do laundry. I didn’t have job-ready skills like Microsoft Word & Excel. I was overwhelmed. To calm me down, my sister Rosie said “think of yourself as a tourist in this country- you can go back at any time”

It was sound advice because I was suffering from all the things that go with making a change. What Anatole France describes as follows: All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

When the best advice was to prioritize...

When I was feeling low at one point of time and was distraught because I did not know what to focus on, my sister Chris said to me “Pay attention to the one thing that is bothering you the most and ignore everything else”. The prescription really helped.

In telling me to do this, my sister was wisely echoing these words from Denis Waitley, who said: Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager. Cut your major goals into bite-sized pieces. Each small priority or requirement on the way to an ultimate goal become a mini goal in itself. Or these words from Russell M Nelson: Your life will be a blessed and balanced experience if you first honor your identity and priority.

Your turn – what are the times you’ve been able to cope because of a conversation?

And Finally It’s How I Get Ideas For This Blog

This blog is peppered with posts that had their beginnings in a conversation.

My post The Element of Everyday Miracles and Its Hope for Reveling In the Mysteries of Life is an example of one of them.

It came out of a conversation Mary and I had about our telepathic experiences.

Read Mary's telepathic story and read my post Connected Minds and then, it’s your turn (but of course) to think about the miraculous coincidences in your life you think are worth talking about.

As always, thanks for reading have a great day and week. Happy conversing.  Remember an argument is not a conversation.  A debate is not a conversation.  A lecture is not a conversation. A set of orders is not a conversation. You know what conversations are.  Go and have more of them.

Thanks to Ajay, Ananda, Christine and Subhakar for your comments on Facebook. And thanks to everyone else for their Facebook likes and Pinterest Pins……M…..A Pearl –Seeker like you.

(P.S. Yes, Subhakar, you are right, we women are always concocting stories.)