5 Things A High Achiever Can Do To Improve Well-Being

Are you a high achiever who struggles with well-being?

5 things you can start doing right away to improve things

Show more patience - High achievers do not like to twiddle their thumbs.  Unfortunately life throws twiddling your thumbs time at everyone equally.  Life doesn’t say, “Oh here’s a high achiever.  He or she deserves to be spared the frustration of twiddling their thumbs.” Here are some of the things that can frustrate you if you are a high achiever:

·       Computer downtime or any other downtime

·       Waiting on resources

·       Waiting for people to respond to you

·       Bureaucracy

·       Having to deal with sloppy work

·       Dealing with people who are not as serious as you are

All kinds of frustrating things will come between you and your goal. It’s not just at work.  Slow drivers, and people who take an interminably long time at checkout lines can test your patience. You have to learn to develop a healthy response to anything that tests your patience. If you don’t, it will impact your well-being. And you could do and say crazy things. Read my post Mastery and Other Tricks for some ideas on refining your approach.

Related post:  Mastery and Other Tricks

Drop the “my way or the highway” approach to dealing with people - Another thing you may struggle with as a high achiever is getting upset when things are not done your way, or someone doesn’t do exactly what you tell them to do in the time frame you expect. Many people like to talk about the entitlement mentality of other people, not recognizing their own entitlement mentality.  Getting upset when things don’t go your way is an example of that. Here’s one scenario: You tell someone to go do something. You think they should scurry off and get it done as soon as you tell them to. Instead you see them drinking a cup of coffee and having a chat with someone.  This irritates you and you find yourself tapping your foot and marking time until what you have asked for has been carried out. You think you are entitled to an immediate response. But even after this person is back at their desk, they still do not do what you told them to do immediately - save the files to the shared drive, or whatever else you asked them to do. This infuriates you. You get on the phone to them, or on Slack to them, and you say, “Have you saved the file to the shared drive?” Now it’s their turn to get irritated. “I will do it now” they say, trying to keep their irritability down, but they secretly think to themselves, “WTF - why don’t you get off my back”.

There is a name for this kind of thing.  It’s called being high maintenance and being a micro-manager.  More good talents are lost to high maintenance and micro-managing managers than to any other managers.  But besides risking losing your best talents, being high maintenance is also bad for your well-being, because you have all these hot buttons that are so easy to push. Not good for your blood pressure.  Not good for your peace of mind.

Related post:  How To Become a Low Maintenance Person

Delegate and groom others to do what you do - don’t try to be the one and only at what you do - High achievers are notorious for thinking they are better than everyone else, and no one can do what they do. This is related to arrogance or fear – what else can it to be related to? If you think no one else can do the job you do, you are arrogant, because even if you can’t think of anyone else who can do the job, there are other people who think they can do the job, example your competitors. So you have to ask yourself, why do you think no one else can do what you can do?  Is it fear? Are you afraid you won’t know what you will do with yourself, if you accept someone can do what you do? Or do you think it could be dangerous for you – it could jeopardize your status and you could be dethroned.  How could thoughts like this be good for your well-being?  You have a responsibility to grow as a professional, and part of that responsibility is accepting that other people can do the same job as you. You should learn to harness that reality.  It is not good for your health, or your sanity, to think otherwise.

Related post:  The Element of Apprenticeship

Surround yourself with true friends - people who will tell you the truth, not tell you what you want to hear - It is tempting to have people around you that tell you only what you want to hear. But you are going to get further in your goals, and sleep better at night with truth-tellers on your side. You want people who can bring a clear eyed perspective to the issues you are facing, and contribute outside ideas and insights. These are your true friends. Look for sounding boards and truth-tellers and devil’s advocates and those who are not afraid to call a spade a spade.  It will be better for your well-being to have trusted friends whom you can turn to. It will keep paranoia as well as megalomania at the door.

Related post:  The Element of Resonance

Don't beat up yourself for failing - High achievers get mad at themselves for making mistakes - your track record of success may make you forget you are not a god. It's human to fail. It's human to experience failures in one or more areas of your life.  Don't expect everything you are associated with - your kids, your house, your car, to be perfect. Be analytical and logical when things don't go right. Instead of wanting more, more, more of the same, adapt your vision and let your new vision be your guide. This will be healthier for you and equip you better for the long haul.

Related post: The Element of Replacing Expectations with Expectancy

Acknowledgements:

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on some of my recent posts. I appreciate the affirmations I am on the right track from old friends and new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out: to those with November birthdays.  Hope your birthday month gives you the nudge to become the kind of person you want to be – a model of achievement as well as well-being. Please don't ever think you are too young or too old or too tired to make a change. All you have to do is take the first step and you will be on your way.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these related posts:

How To Become The Kind Of Person People Want To Work With

How to Experience More Job Satisfaction

How to Settle Into a New Job Well