Dear Dick Costolo

Sparrow:  Owl...I don’t know how it doesn’t bother you...

Owl (sleepily): ....what?

Sparrow:  This business about humans tweeting...

Owl (yawning)...I know...but what are you gonna do?

Sparrow: Humans whisper, talk, shout, rant, rave, scream, bluster, holler, yell ...they do not tweet. “Tweet” is our word. It’s what we do. We have owned it for like 2.5 million years.

Owl:  How did you get that number?

Sparrow:  Well, that’s how old human language is.

Sparrow (continuing):  “A thin chirping sound made by small or young birds” – this has been the official definition of “tweet” since time immemorial.  Now you look up Merriam Webster online and there’s this: “a post made on the Twitter online message service”.  I can’t stand it.  I won’t stand for it.

Owl: My, my...we are worked up on this, I see....what's your plan?

Sparrow:  I’m thinking. (thinks)... I got it...we could do a Sooty Shearwater on these tweeters - like they did in Santa Cruz in 1961.

Owl: That’s a great idea, Sparrow, except I don’t want to slam into someone’s home and die - never channeled suicide bomber - not about to start now.

Sparrow: Ok, Ok...I know, I know...how about we do a Skua on them like what that Skua did to that world famous wildlife photographer Mattias Klum.

Owl: What did he do?

Sparrow: You don’t know anything, do you?  Here’s the video...

Owl (after watching it):  That’s funny.  That’ll work – except how are you going to round up enough birds to cover 7 billion people.

Sparrow: Actually we need to cover just the 150 million or so active Twitter users. But you’re right, it’s going to be a challenge.

Owl: Understatement!

Sparrow:  Well, we have to start somewhere, so let's begin with the classic first recourse of all activists.

Owl:  Which is...?

Sparrow:  Silly! A letter, of course.

Sparrow's Letter:

Dear Dick Costolo,

These words are the proprietary soundware of birds:

Tweet

Twitter

Chirp

Cheep

Quack

Hoot

Squawk

Cock-a-doodle-doo

Not forgetting Too-whit, Too-who (my friend Owl asked me to include that).

Please consider this letter a Cease and Desist.

Stop the tweeting.

If you don’t, things could get nasty as we are in the first stages of planning Occupy Folsom Street. Do you really want that?

I think not. 

Respectfully yours,

Spizella Arborea

(Or you can call me Sparrow)