The Element of Putting Ourselves On the Line and Its Hope for Accomplishing Things Big and Small

There are times in our lives when we will be called upon to put ourselves on the line.

David did it went he went up against Goliath.

Mahatma Gandhi did it when he went up against the British Raj.

Trevor Blake did it when he wrote 3 Simple Steps - A Map to Success in Business and Life.

Putting yourself on the line may involve going up against a formidable opponent, a formidable challenge, or a formidable goal.

For David, it was going up against a combatant who was larger and armed, and who was a fighter so confident in his skills, he dared the Israelites to send any man to fight him in single combat.

For Mahatma Gandhi, the formidable opponent was the British empire with its impressive array of resources.

For Trevor Blake, the formidable challenge was dealing with his own fears about revealing the intimate details of an early life marked by poverty, debt, family illness and other troubles.

Life is full of tough challenges and goals, as I mention in my post The Element of Imagination and Its Hope for Helping Us Meet Tough Challenges with Compassion and Artful Flair.

But challenges are opportunities.

For David, the challenge of defeating Goliath contained the opportunity to defend the honor of the Israelites and earn the reward promised by Saul.

For Mahatma Gandhi, the challenge of going up against the British Raj contained the opportunity to free India from British yoke.

For Trevor Blake, the challenge of telling his whole story contained the opportunity to release himself from the burdens and secrets of the past and bring hope and encouragement to people who had suffered similar challenges and deprivations.

Yes, within every challenge is contained an opportunity - the opportunity to change not just our own life, but the lives of other people.

Whether we move the needle a little, or whether we move the needle a lot, when we put ourselves on the line, our courage is to be commended.  

When the Pilgrims got on the Mayfair and sailed to America, they put their lives on the line.

In a few days, we will celebrate Thanksgiving, a feast which can be traced to that historic journey.

The country the world knows as the United States of America became a possibility only because of the courage of that first group of people who made for new shores, putting their lives on the line.

When we put ourselves on the line we don’t know where it will lead.

That first band of people did not know their journey would be the start of an idea for a brand new country that would eventually be home to over 300 million people from different parts of the world.

When a butterfly flaps its wings on one side of the world, it can change weather patterns on the other side of the world.

Every person who puts themselves on the line is a butterfly flapping its wings.

The person who decides to start blogging.  

The person who takes a bold new step.

The person who accepts the challenges of being in the limelight – whether a high profile actor or musician, a socialite, a CEO or founder of a company in the news, or a person in government.

Putting oneself on the line is inherently risky.

We do not risk death, disfigurement and disablement as people in dangerous occupations do.

But we do risk failure, indifference, ridicule, humiliation and a reduction in social status for any missteps we make.

In my previous career, I was an advertising copywriter. Before leaving India, I ran my own creative shop Purple Patch and had 6 people working for me.  I experienced an immediate reduction in social status upon immigrating to America.

I risk a further reduction in social status by writing about my challenges with depression, anger, being a tiger mom and my faults and missteps, professional and other.

I do it because I want to live an authentic life on my own terms.

Social status is a drag. On our financial resources, on our time, on our energy, on our freedoms and on our choices.

It is at odds with all of them.

The people living quiet lives in the book The Millionaire Next Door understand this.

They live quietly and unobtrusively, living life as they please, unhampered by considerations of social status. They may not want to be cheap, be loud, wear sweats or burp. But if they feel like doing that, they are able to do so without the whole world writing about it and photographing it.

Out of the limelight, people are free to go about their lives without social pressure.

To do the things we really want to do then may require us to give up our social status. 

As Michael Gates Gill did.  

A high-profile advertising account manager, Michael became a Starbucks barista in his 50s.  He gives an account of his journey in his book How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else.

Don’t be surprised to find yourself craving the same kind of liberation.

A word of caution, however….

We should put ourselves on the line only for something we value.

It’s important to differentiate between value-based actions and valueless actions.

Deciding to stop paying our bills, driving crazy fast in our cars, drinking ourselves silly, doing drugs, sowing wild oats, breaking the law and being irresponsible is pointless and valueless.

Similarly, if I was to rant and rave about my depressive issues, anger issues and professional failures on my blog, what would be the value of that?

It’s the fact I have successfully conquered those issues that is of value and which makes my experience worth sharing with readers.

What values are you prepared to put yourself on the line for?

Don’t worry about the resources

Once your desire is ignited, you will find the resources.

You may find you need much less than you thought you would need.

David’s resource was a simple slingshot and 5 stones.  By angling the slingshot right, he launched the stone at the middle of Goliath’s forehead and struck him down.

Mahatma Gandhi’s resource was just the idea of satyagraha or non-violent protest.

Trevor Blake’s resource was just his memory and his courage to tell his story.

I will end this post with 3 takeaways about putting yourself on the line.

Put yourself on the line only for your values.

Social status is over-rated.

You contain all the resources you need.

Thanks for reading and have a great day and week…….M……a Pearl-Seeker like you. P.S. The butterfly pictured in this post was painted by my friend Julia Kaplan who is the subject of two posts on this blog, most recently, The United States of Friendship Part 8.

The Element of Imagination and Its Hope for Helping Us Develop Toughness With Compassion and Artful Flair

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=25394&picture=fawn

Have you heard about the Tough Mudder?

Recently, Andrew, whom I know through my SPM consulting, participated in a Tough Mudder event at Tahoe.

Tough Mudder was started by a Harvard MBA student who was previously a counter-terrorism agent for the British Government. Tough Mudder was his response to unimaginative and repetitive marathons, triathlons, mud runs and adventure runs. Tough Mudder obstacle courses are much more rigorous and interesting and are designed to test not just all around strength, stamina and mental grit, but also camaraderie.

You can read more about Tough Mudder here.

A Metaphor for Life

Tough Mudder is a great metaphor for life.

Life is a obstacle course. One big long obstacle course.

Along the way, we will face challenges and obstacles in our education, in our work, in our relationships, with our health, and in pursuing our life goals.

There will be much that will come at us.

Tough choices to make.

Tough challenges or deadlines to meet.

Tough health issues.

Tough disappointments to swallow.

Tough losses.

Tough times - when more things go wrong than right.

Tough people and situations to deal with.

Tough habits, phobias and weaknesses to conquer.

And any and all of it can be helped by using one faculty  - a faculty we are all blessed with.

Our imagination.

“Our imagination? Minoo, are you nuts? Aren't you showing a lack of imagination by saying that? Don’t you know there are 2 kinds of people? The artsy creative types. And the analytical, methodical types.  I am analytical, yes. Knowledgeable, yes. Resourceful. Methodical. But imaginative?  Psssh!”

Yes, you are imaginative.

Imagination is a faculty each one of us is blessed with. And it can come to our aid in many of life’s tough situations.

Stay with me on this.

Using our imagination to spiritualize our thoughts and actions

I recently met a Senior SAP R&D Manager on the bus to work. 

She was doing something interesting.

She had powered up her laptop and was reading bible messages for the day, first in Spanish, then in English. She said she read the bible passages on her way to work to spiritualize her mind for the day. She told me one of the ways in which doing this helped her:  She said whenever someone was nasty at work, she imagined the face of Jesus on the face of that person, and it made her think of them differently and deal with them differently.

This is how she uses her imagination.

We all use our imagination similarly when we approach a situation saying: “What would Jesus do?” or “What would Mohammed do?” or “What would the Buddha do?” or “What would Ram do?"

Or when we try to look at something through the eyes of our spiritual leaders, teachers and gurus…."What would Billy Graham do?" or "What would the Dalai Lama do?" or "What would Mother Theresa do?" or "What would Gandhi do?" or "What would Thomas More do?" Do you find yourself doing this?

We use our imagination when we try to look at something through the eyes of thinkers we admire. When we say: “What would Socrates think? What would Diogenes think? What would Aristotle think?”

 (P.S. If you want to find out one of the things I think Socrates was a master at, read my post The Art of Conversation. And if you want to find out why Diogenes was an original thinker, read my post The Man in the Bath-tub).

Using our imagination to deal with stress

Albert Einstein said “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere”

I know someone who has an unusual way of responding to the stress of dealing with someone getting mad at her and hurling angry words. She told me that whenever this happens, she transports herself to a lush and beautiful locale until the moment blows over.  She uses her imagination to stay calm and tune out verbal meltdowns.

This is a very creative way of using our imagination to deal with a stressful situation.

Indeed, many of us use our imagination to deal with stressful situations without even being conscious of it.

Someone at work recently changed the wallpaper on her computer to a beautiful picture taken on vacation in Hawaii.  When I inquired, she said she was entering a particularly stressful time at work and looking at that picture had a calming effect on her.  “Aha”, I thought, “perfect example of using one’s imagination to deal with stress”.

What do you do in stressful situations?  Could you use your imagination to transport yourself elsewhere? To your favorite place? Maybe, to your garden? A favorite vacation spot. Everyone needs a place in their mind to go to.

Using our imagination to respond to unexpected opportunities

I know someone who has been at the GM level at every company where she has worked. She is as wise as she is successful. She adopts a metaphor for every situation in her life.  Recently she was presented with an opportunity to do a consulting job for a company in a country across the world.  It would involve long air trips and doing business across time zones.  But instead of saying no to this intriguing opportunity, she adopted the metaphor of a magic carpet.  She said she thought of the opportunity as a magic carpet and the magic carpet would take her where it wanted to take her and she was to enjoy the ride.  Indeed, a very apt metaphor. Many times in life, we will be presented with unexpected and unusual opportunities.  We may have to answer these opportunities rather than question them. Imagination is the way to do it.

Albert Einstein came to the same conclusion when he said“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.”

What opportunities are you currently presented with - to which the wonderful“magic carpet” metaphor would apply?

Using our imagination to reframe a situation

Any situation can be reframed with the help of our imagination.

On my last assignment, I pulled out all the stops to design new commission statements and develop a new Excel model to do commissions. However, when I was passing control to the analyst who took my place, he and the new company controller decided to abandon my model and create their own model. At first, my internal response was typical. When our brainchild is cast aside, we find it hard to stomach.  The blow to our self-esteem causes us to think wrong thoughts and have wrong desires.  We want it to be hard for anyone to fill our shoes.  We want our absence to cause pain.  How many of you have exited companies with this feeling?  But since becoming a meditation practitioner, I have become highly self-aware, and one of the things I meditate on is not giving in to automatic negative thoughts like this.  Because of my meditations, the wrong thoughts surfaced for only a very brief time, and were supplanted with a beautiful vision expressed as an image.

3 Deer at a Stream

I suddenly had this vision of self-esteem being a stream of water, and the new analyst, new controller and myself all as deer drinking from the stream.  I had had my turn at the stream. Now it was theirs.  When I had to prove myself, the stream of self-esteem was there for me.  Now it was someone else’s time to shine.  Later on, it would be someone else’s time still - as the new analyst and the controller would be supplanted.

From the moment this image entered my mind – my mindset was different.  It was hard to say if I held this image - of the 3 deer drinking from a stream - or the image held me.  But during my last weeks at the company, I cheerfully finished up my assignment, and continuously encouraged, praised and supported the new analyst and the Controller. Now even after I have moved on, I feel a warm glow towards them.

Tuli Kupferberg says: “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. When I was able to escape the normal way of thinking it was almost that I saw all the characters in the scenario in a different alternate world”

This is what happened to me. I entered an alternate world. And my imagination helped me get there.

I now realize situations can exist in many different spheres and our imagination can take us to a different sphere.

Has your imagination ever helped you to reframe a situation and elevated the situation to a different sphere?

Using our imagination as a shield

Trevor Blake is mentioned in my post The Element of The Creative Pause and Its Hope for Turning Us Into Idea Generation Machines. He is the author of the book Three Simple Steps, which is one of the most mind-blowing reads of the last decade. In this book, he says he learned an imaginative technique to make himself feel invincible from watching a tv interview with a young golfer.

Seve Ballesteros was only 16 when he went up against golf titans like Jack Nicklaus. In a TV interview, when he was asked how he did not get overwhelmed playing against golf greats and having to cope with the raucous crowds that accompany them, he explained, and I quote from 3 Simple Steps, “he had learned a technique, whereby he imagined a thick glass jar descending from the sky and covering him completely. Inside his glass jar, he was able to shut out everything and remain focused.” 

After watching this TV interview, Trevor Blake put Ballesteros’ technique to use immediately. He started taking a separate route to school from his siblings. During his lonely trek, he imagined a glass cloak descending from the sky and covering him completely when he walked.  This made him feel safe and brave from the bullies who had dogged his life earlier.

This is the power of our imagination.  It can make us brave.  It can make us focused.  It can make us feel invincible.

Have you ever used your imagination as a shield like Seve Ballesteros and Trevor Blake? 

If you haven’t, there will come a time in the future when you can.

Imagination as A Fairy Godmother

All of us wish for fairy godmothers.

Imagination is like a fairy godmother.  Only this fairy godmother resides in our subconscious. And it is ever ready to supply us with an imaginative answer to any of life’s tough challenges.

It is our Get Out of Jail Free Ticket.  Our Get Out of Bullying Free Ticket.  Our Get Out of Our Skin Free Ticket.

Using Our Imagination to Revisualize Our Lives

In this TED talk, Amy Purdy tells us how she used imagination to revisualize her life and live life “king size” after the devastating loss of both her legs.

As JBS Haldane said, “the future is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine”.

When we imagine that things that are bad now, or how sad or bad we feel now is permanent, it’s only because we lack imagination.

As I tell you in my post If Life is So Good, Why Do I Feel So Sad, I once suffered a depression. Yet here I am today, possibly one of the happiest people in the world.

When we imagine we can never give up a habit or personality trait, we show a lack of imagination. We can give up anything. As my post The Path to Change and How Many Times A Day Do YouVisit Ireland? tells you, I successfully gave up anger.

When we imagine we can never stop being a tiger mom or a helicopter mom, we show a lack of imagination. As my post It’s Called Motherhood 2 explains, I went from being a tiger mom to a helicopter mom to a hippie mom. AND?????? And the world did not come to an end.

Finally, we can use our imagination to change our thoughts about people who are in a bad place or an unfortunate place in their lives.  If we think of each of them as a bird with a broken wing, our next thought would be “how can I help this bird with a broken wing?” We would become Broken Wing Angels.

If not for Broken Wing Angels, some people would never make it.

This was who June Carter was – a Broken Wing Angel - and this is why she was Johnny Cash’s salvation.

Johnny Cash was a real mess when he went into a cave with a flashlight to die.  His intention was to keep going in the cave until his flashlight gave out and then without light or food and no way of finding his way out of the cave, he hoped to die.  The flashlight gave out, but after a while in the dark, Johnny Cash had an epiphany he was meant for more and this was not the way it was supposed to end for him.  He crawled back towards the entrance of the cave in pitch darkness, and was close to death when he finally made it out.  Waiting for him at the entrance was his mother and June Carter.  The rest is history.

I will end this post with the lyrics of the1971 Grammy winning song which Johnny Cash and June Carter sang together. The song was written by Tim Hardin.

"If I Were A Carpenter"

If I were a carpenter
And you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?

If a tinker were my trade
would you still find me,
Carrying the pots I made,
Following behind me.

Save my love through loneliness,
Save my love for sorrow,
I'm given you my onlyness,
Come give your tomorrow.

If I worked my hands in wood,
Would you still love me?
Answer me babe, "Yes I would,
I'll put you above me."

If I were a miller
at a mill wheel grinding,
would you miss your color box,
and your soft shoe shining?

If I were a carpenter
and you were a lady,
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?
Would you marry anyway?
Would you have my baby?

Thanks for reading and have a great day and week....M.....A Pearl Seeker like you.

The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives

 

Picture Courtesy: Shutterstock: Erica Cross

What’s the secret to becoming a doer from a dreamer?

An activist from a moaner and groaner?

An agent for change from an armchair philosopher?

An achiever from an admiring watcher from the sidelines?

Simple.

Take the first step.

The First Step can Change Everything

The first post or article we write.

The first song we compose or sing.

The first dish we cook.

The first audition we go to.

The first presentation we make.

The first rock we climb.

The first fear we conquer.

The first emotional victory we achieve.

The first business step.

The first day of being clean.

First steps lead to bigger steps.

This I have seen.

From Sunshine Foods to Trident Fabrications

There is a hamburger cart in Bangalore which bears the sign “Sunshine Foods”. This cart was one of the first steps in the amazing entrepreneurial journey of my brother-in-law Arun.  Even before completing his engineering, he took up a machining contract from Mico and used a friend's shed on Tannery Road to execute the work with his friend Chakrapani's help. After getting his engineering degree, he started making helmets in his garage. Then he met a friend out of catering college and the two of them came up with the idea for Sunshine Foods. From selling burgers from a cart and fabricating helmets, Arun went on to set up 2 industrial plants in Peenya  to design and manufacture a wide range of products for the transportation industry, including earth mover cabins and seats. Recently he spread his wings and developed Sundance serviced apartments in a prestigious locale in Bangalore.  Arun is a great example of what a single person with a vision can do when they take the first step.  And one of the first steps in Arun’s entrepreneurial journey was Sunshine Foods.

From Ungal Butterfly to Slum Dog Millionaire

Ungal Butterly was a jingle composed for a tv commercial for the Butterfly range of cookware. It marked one of the early steps in the musical journey of A. R. Rahman.  From this ordinary beginning of composing and recording jingles for tv commercials, A.R. Rahman went on to become a leading composer in the Indian film industry, and eventually a global sensation as the well-known creator of the soundtrack for Slum Dog Millionaire.

From driving a single garbage truck to being at the helm of 3 Fortune 500 companies

In the 60’s, a garbage truck made its way around a Florida suburb from 2:30 a.m. till noon every day. Its owner-driver was Wayne Huizenga. That garbage truck was the start of an amazing business story in which Wayne founded Waste Management and bought 133 garbage hauling companies to create the largest waste disposal company in America.  Wayne would go on to create two other Fortune 500 companies - Block Buster and Auto Nation. And it all started with a single garbage truck he bought as a teen.

The First Step

Whatever our goal - financial, entrepreneurial, physical, emotional, spiritual or creative…it all starts with the first step.

When we take that first step, we are on our way.

We get connected with what we want from our lives.

Even if it’s different from what everyone else wants.

Even if it’s different from what others think we should want.

The first step may be a garbage truck.

A hamburger cart. 

A jingle for a commercial.

A car wash service.

A batch of cupcakes.

Only we know where we can go with that.

Others may not be able to see at all.

They cannot see beyond our first step. They will take it at face value.

When college-going classmates saw Wayne picking up garbage in his garbage truck, one of the classmates looked at another classmate and said– “just imagine that might have been us - driving a garbage truck!” The classmate had no idea. Wayne had big plans. Owning and driving the garbage truck was just the first step.  He did not know the vision Wayne had for himself. He did not know where that vision would end up taking Wayne.  To the top.  To making him the owner of the largest waste disposal company in America. And much more.

Following Our Vision

The first step.

Taking it means not letting anything hold us back from our vision.

The weight of our parents' achievements and expectations.

The weight of the values (and sometimes hot buttons) of the people in our lives – our family and friends.

The weight of what everyone else is doing. (Majority thinking).

Following our vision will require us to be strong and individual.

We are socialized to think in terms of “what can I do which will make the maximum income and bestow on me the maximum status and allow me to buy a fancy house and furnish it with envious appliances and furnishings and have a fancy car and clothes to go with it and go on fancy vacations?”

We will have to buck that.

We will have to ignore the voice in our heads that says “am I crazy – to be wanting to drive a garbage truck, to sell hamburgers from a cart?  I should just follow the crowd.”

Don’t.

Don’t be afraid to think what you think.

Don’t be afraid to want what you want.

Don’t be afraid of the ideas you have.

When people go on a vacation to Italy and we see the work of Michael Angelo or Leonardo da Vinci, no one stops to think:” Why aren’t our times like the Renaissance?  What would it take for a modern day Michael Angelo and a modern day Leonardo da Vinci to flourish?”

Maybe you have thoughts like this.

A Renaissance type flowering of the arts in our lives is possible.

I am not too cynical to hope for it in my lifetime.

One reason why artists flourished during the Renaissance was because people invited them to compete for art commissions.

Can we promote art in our times doing something similar?

I invite you to think about this.

I thought about it and came up with the idea of One Wall.

One Wall would be an online site which would showcase various artists who could offer their services to the public.  Maybe, like Michael Angelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, people could sign up to have a modern day Michael Angelo paint one wall of their home.

If everyone had one wall of their house painted by an artist, we would have a lot more art in our lives, it would help the arts to flourish, and we would cherish our houses more - think of them as beautiful keepsakes rather than as investments.

Anybody ready to take up the challenge of creating One Wall?  I hope someone somewhere will read this post and make it happen.  Or come up with their own idea to create a Renaissance in our times. The idea can be extended. One Song (you select from different bands to compose and perform one song for you – a birthday song, wedding song). One Skit.  And so on and so on.

But back to what I was saying about taking the first step.

Here are some of the first steps I took in my life I am so very grateful I took and am happy about till today…..

Starting this blog

As many of you know, this blog means the world to me. The first step I took to get it going was writing and publishing my first post 4 Decisions I Wish I Had Made Earlier. This was on December 27, 2010.  I am now on my two hundred and twenty second post. Yay.

Learning to Meditate

As my post Connected Minds states, my life changed in many different and wonderful ways after learning to meditate.  The first step I took was to apply the technique suggested in the book How God Changes Your Brain.  Initially, it was hard to go for 20 minutes, but I kept at it and now it’s a regular part of my life and I never watch the clock.

Starting Purple Patch

Running my own creative shop -Purple Patch – was a hugely fulfilling experience for me.  The first step I took was to leave HTA and spread the word about my availability for freelance creative work.  I did this knowing full well I might fail and have to eat a large slice of humble pie.  But Yay - Purple Patch had a great run and even spawned the careers of two other copywriters.

Becoming an SPM Consultant

I love being an SPM Consultant.  It has given me the opportunity to work at several different companies and on several different implementations and projects.  It has given me exposure to sales commission plans in a variety of different companies – Trepp, Salesforce, Splunk, Fusion IO, Lynda, Epicor, White Hat, Cyberonics and Varian Medical.  And I have met and maintain contact with several wonderful people whom I met on assignment. The first step to becoming an SPM consultant was not letting a bad economy stop me from giving up my full time job as a commissions analyst.  With a few strategic steps  -and the good fortune to get connected with Solution Partners and Spectrum Technologies -, I have been able to enjoy this for 3 years running.

Giving Up Anger

As you know from my posts The Path To Change and How Many Times A Day Do You Visit Ireland?, learning to deal with my anger issues is one of my big emotional victories.  My first step was to observe the thoughts in my head while angry and not act on them.  When you do that, typically the thoughts subside and the anger goes away.  Expressed anger usually leads to more anger, as in “I can’t believe you made me so angry that I said that or did that”.

Getting Over My Fear of Public Speaking

Most people have a fear of public speaking.  Mine was a crippling fear. The first step to dealing with it was to join Toastmasters and do my Icebreaker speech. Before I knew it, I had completed the 9 other speeches and earned my CTM badge. And all I had to do was take the first step of joining Toastmasters.

What are the first steps you have taken in your life?

And what first steps are you getting ready to take?

What is big in your heart to do?

A new direction?

An unexplored creative pursuit?

A secret passion?

A new idea?

A desire to share the truth about yourself with the world?

Well, you know what you have to do.

Just one thing…..

....take the first step!

As always thanks for reading and have a great day and week…I hope this post will inspire future Aruns, future A.R. Rahmans, future Wayne Huizengas.......M….a Pearl-Seeker like you. P.S.  If you need further inspiration to take that first step, read my post What's Next For You? and my post The Element of Release from Inhibition and Its Hope for Discovering Our Creative Self.