10 Things I Don’t Miss About the Old Me At All

This is not a picture of me, but you get the idea

Here are the 10 things I am happy I gave up...

#1 The old me and relationships

I was too my way or the highway. Too easily upset. Too wanting to be loved, rather than to love. Too possessive, too quick to tears. The quote – girls express their feelings via tears, boys express their feelings via beers – aptly describes who I once used to be.

I am no longer that person. And I don’t miss her. And nobody else does either!

#2 The old me and getting others to do things

The old me was very deluded when it came to getting others to do things. Or for that matter, getting others to see things my way. I thought it could be done by giving orders. Or by delivering ultimatums. Or by arguing. Or by using emotional blackmail. And if that didn’t work, I would storm off. Of course, I thought my storming off was very eloquent. George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Unfortunately, I didn't get George Bernard Shaw's memo.

The new me knows that you ask, request, and suggest. And hope for the best. I do much better with the new me, and do not miss the old me at all.

#3 The old me and parenting

I was dizzily inconsistent. I was kind one moment, harsh the next. I went from Helicopter Mom to Tiger Mom, and back to Helicopter Mom in a flash (can anyone say whiplash?). And I was altogether too mistrusting. Charles Swindoll said “Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” The old me made some bad deposits, before the new me learned to make good deposits.

I do not miss the old parenting me. The new parenting me is far more sensible, as well as kind - and making tons of good deposits (I hope), to make up for the bad deposits of the past.

#4 The old me and health

Hypochondria, fear of needles, thinking the medical profession was the answer to everything, not paying attention to my diet - until my fasting blood sugar reached 106, all this and more, was bad about the old me and health. Mark Twain said “the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” Things began to look up for me on the health front, once I was able to follow Mark Twain's advice.

I am glad I said goodbye to the old me and health, and replaced it with the new me and health - the new me brought down my A1C from 6.4 to 5.9 to 5.6 - and that's just for starters.

#5 The old me and my limiting thoughts

I am this and not that. I am a words person, not a numbers person. I am an Asian Indian, addicted to rice. I will never learn to drive. I have a short fuse. The old me had so many limiting thoughts. Norman Vincent Peale said, “Change your thoughts and you change your world”. One by one, following Norman Vincent Peale's advice, I dropped those limiting thoughts. Now I am a number crunching Commissions Analyst Consultant. Fist bump. I can go without eating rice. Fist bump. I can drive. Fist bump. And I no longer have a short fuse. Fist bump. Fist bump. First bump.

So of course, I don’t miss the old me, and all those things I thought I could not do, and all those limiting thoughts I was carrying around in my head for so long.

#6 The old me and excuses

The old me had an excuse for everything and anything I didn’t want to do. There was a ‘poor me’ self-pity aspect to inventing those excuses. Criss Jami says, “Like a crying wolf, if you keep looking for sympathy as a justification for your actions, you will someday be left standing alone when you really need help.”

I am sure glad I gave up the old me who made excuses. It is much better to be taken seriously, to be trusted, and to know when I ask for help, people will really believe I am in need of it, as Criss Jami says.

#7 The old me and work

The old me looked out for No 1, and No 1 alone, didn’t know how to collaborate, and got very upset if things didn’t go my way. The old me also sometimes stormed off from jobs, leaving confusion and unfinished business in my wake. Lailah Gifty Akita says, “He who wants to be served must first know how to serve”.

The new me has learned to approach work with a service heart, and a servant heart, and has a completely different attitude to work, both to starting it, and to completing it. Richard L Evans said,“We should think seriously before we slam doors, before we burn bridges, before we saw off the limb on which we find ourselves sitting.” The new me follows that Rx.

I don’t miss the old work me, and neither would anyone who I have worked for, worked with, or who works for me.

#8 The old me and investing

The old me was all about wanting to make a fast buck; looking at where a company has been rather than where it is going; wanting to have an edge ( Dogs of the Dow, bottom fishing, anyone?). Ben Graham, Warren Buffet's muse, said, “The individual investor should act consistently as an investor, and not as a speculator.” After flailing around for a while, and licking some wounds, I eventually learned to follow Ben Graham’s advice, and act consistently as an investor.

Though the new me likes to read as much as the old me, (Howard Marks’ Memos is an example of what I read), the new me has a more sane and more practical approach to investing. It’s not just me that doesn’t miss the old investing me. My brokerage account certainly doesn’t either.

#9 The old me and my concepts of feminism

I would bristle when someone asked me if I could cook. I wanted to drink men under the table, though I couldn’t hold my liquor. I would get huffed if anyone referred to women derisively at a party, and I would walk out. Simone de Beavoir said, “I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself.”

I started out as a girlie girl (the old me) and went on to become a strong, independent Simone de Beavoir woman.  No apologies – it is the way to be. Except that I don't want the fool's gold of alcohol or cigarettes or bravado.

#10 The old me and impulse control

I was rash and brash; I sometimes acted on a whim, and in the spur of the moment; I sometimes allowed the emotions, and the temptations of the moment, to dictate what I did. Thucydides said, “Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage.”

I am glad I learned self-control. The runaway temptations and emotions that troubled the old me do not play havoc with the new me. I have built up both my self-control and resistance.

Ok, this is where I will stop with listing the differences between the old me and the new me, even though I could go on and on. I could compare the old me and my response to situations, omg, omg, wringing my hands, becoming part of the problem, dissolving into a pit of anxiety and helplessness, with the much more self-contained person I am today. And so on and so on. But I will stop here.

The take-away from this post, is that no matter what we are, and where we are, we can become different people – and the way we think and act and feel can be so different after we change, the comparison can be like day and night.

Do you have an old you and a new you? A transformation can be a progression into something better, or a degeneration into something worse, or a temporary degeneration, which ultimately leads to a positive transformation into something better.

Would you care to share some of the differences between the old you and the new you with me?

I’d love to hear your story of transformation.

If it’s a powerful story, I can even guest post it on my blog, like I guest posted Sangeeta Patel’s Into the Light, or like I guest posted John Paraskevopoulous’ The Colors of Life.

I look forward to that.

Acknowledgements

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on my recent posts 25 Things Which Have Made the Biggest  Difference to My Health, Wealth, Comfort and Happiness, Things I Learned I Could Live Without, and How I Went From a Girlie Girl to a Strong, Independent Woman.  I appreciate the affirmations that I am on the right track

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with November birthdays.  Hope you use your birthday month to turn the old you into a new you, if any aspect of your life needs to be turned around. Please don't ever think you are too young or too old to do it, or that you will do it in the future.  Every day lost is a day lost to living a less than fulfilling life.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these related posts:

How I Went From a Girlie Girl to a Strong Independent Woman

The Element of Planning the Philosophy of Your Exits

Yoga For Investors

The Element of Understanding That Life Is a Journey and Its Hope for Never Being Afraid to Pack Our Bags

What I Learned I Could Live Without

How I Lost a Thousand Grand on Donuts

It's Called Motherhood

The Art of Carrying Things Lightly