Life Strategies - For those with one hand tied behind their back: 2022

Sunday, December 25, 2022

The Empty Seats At Our Table

The empty seats at our table

Are there to remind us all

That our days on earth are marked

And to another plane our souls will be called.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to tell us life is too precious to make a fuss

So instead of making big things out of nothing

We should learn to treasure every minute that has been given to us.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to tell us to choose our words and actions well

So that we leave our loved ones, and those who survive us

A lot of smiles and happy memories on which to dwell.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to remind us that every life is a mixture of happy and sad

And in spite of our troubles, illnesses, and losses

The good will have outweighed the bad.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to tell us that after we are gone, our ideas and thoughts may not survive

So we should express as many of our ideas and thoughts as we can to those who matter to us, and to those who will benefit from them

While we are still alive.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to tell us to we should not leave anything undone

We should say the things we need to say, and do the things we have to do

To secure the peace, joy, and future of our loved ones.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to tell us that every life leaves a mark

And that our lives are not for nothing

Even when the trajectory of our lives goes dark.

The empty seats at our table

Are there to comfort us that once we are gone

People will remember the best of us

And make sure each one of us leaves with a swan song.

Yes, the empty seats at our table

Are there not just to leave a pang and an ache, and nothing else

But rather, they are there to make us think and reflect

And to live out our days as wiser and happier selves.

Mummy and Daddy, Angie and James, Arun and David, we miss you. The empty seats at our table are there to remind us of what we lost, when we lost each one of you. Remembering you today. And sending flying kisses up to you in heaven and the plane to which your souls have ascended.

Sunday, December 18, 2022

Life Without Expectations

What does life feel like without expectations?

Life is more fun.

It you bet your happiness on your expectations, it's harder to enjoy life.

Life is unpredictable.

If you have too many expectations, you won't be able to handle life's unpredictability.

The larger the group of people you are amongst, the bigger or more complex the events or the circumstances, the more likely, unexpected things will happen.

You expect people to do this. But they do that.

If departures from your expectations typically lead to showdowns, you are not cut out to do things with other people.

Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds."

When you stop being full of expectations, you will begin to see everyone in a new light, or should I say in a true light. Your thinking will not be distorted by your opinions and your expectations.

It is no secret that perfectionists, because they have too many expectations, are harder to get along with, and are no fun.

Do you want to be that person who is no fun?

'No fun' people are typically avoided, and the sad part is they are not told why they are being avoided.

"But Minoo", you may say, "If I don’t have expectations, wouldn’t it mean I am cynical, or I am a doormat, or I don’t have any standards, or I am setting myself and my family and my child up to go astray, and have a sub-par life?"

Aha! I am getting to that.

What you need to do is to replace expectations with expectancy, especially in situations that involve you and one or more other people, including the people who are closest to you, and the people you are thrown together with in different social situations.

Expectancy is different from expectations.

Expectancy is approaching every situation with a positive attitude, having faith and a hopeful heart, coming at it with the right attitude, knowing that people will be who they are, giving it your best shot, and then letting go of the outcome.

When you do that, things may not go your way, but you very deliberately handle the things that don’t go your way with grace.

Think about the people you like the most.

It is likely they are people who are able to handle situations that don’t go their way with grace, and who are able to do so without lapses in character, standards, or ideals.

It is also likely that just as you like to spend time with them, everyone likes to spend time with them as well.

Doesn’t that tell you something?

What it tells you (and me) is that the world needs more people like them.

Life would be more fun with more people like them.

Life would be more relaxed.

Life would be more chill.

There would be fewer disagreements and less discord.

So may the tribe of “those who respond with grace” increase.

And after reading this, may both you and me become part of that tribe too.

I am rooting for us to be able to do that.

Because life is more fun when we ditch the expectations and go over to the expectancy side!

Life without expectations is more fun.

Meanwhile, for those who are causing grief by letting down those with expectations, the responsibility advice in my "Are You Responsible?" New Year's post (look out for that) suggests ways to cause less grief. Some great nuggets in there to put in your New Year resolutions for 2023.

Sunday, December 11, 2022

In the space of imagination and faith...

In the space of imagination and faith, disappointments are not disappointments, but pathways to wisdom.

In the space of imagination and faith, you cherish the good memories, rather than mourn for what you have lost.

In the space of imagination and faith, you tackle each new day with a renewed heart, soul, and spirit, and the decision to make every day start and end well.

In the space of imagination and faith, you do not dwell on your past blunders and mistakes but forgive yourself and promise yourself to do better in the future.

In the space of imagination and faith, you express positivity and cheerfulness, even when things do not go your way.

In the space of imagination and faith, you find the courage and strength to adapt to new developments.

In the space of imagination and faith, you look for beauty and meaning in all things.

In the space of imagination and faith, you carry your cross with dignity.

In the space of imagination and faith, every day is precious, even the challenging ones.

In the space of imagination and faith, you take nothing for granted, and find words of praise and gratitude for everything life has given you.

In the space of imagination and faith, you find joy in simple things.

In the space of imagination and faith, you keep your vision of the future alive, whatever your current situation.

In the space of imagination and faith, anything is possible.

Which is why, if you have to choose where to live, you should always choose to live in the space of imagination and faith.

It is where anything - and everything - is possible.

Sunday, December 4, 2022

Don't Forget To Be Happy

Pic: Laura Beth Snipes - Unsplash

There's the cooking and the shopping

There are the visits to the mall

There's the wrapping and the tree

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

There's the cards to be written

And the cards to be strung along the wall

And the cards to mail, or send out virtually

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

There are the decorations to pull out

And the tree to haul

There's the lights to string on the roof

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

There's the tinsel and the nativity

And all the baubles and dolls

There's the wreath to hang on the door

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

There's the Christmas dinner to think of

And the people to call

There are the office parties to go to

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

There's the Advent Calendar

There's the decking of the hall

There's the Christmas sweets to be made

But don't forget to feel happy and blessed - it's the point of it all.

Have a blessed Christmas season, Y'all

Don't forget to be happy - it's the point of it all.

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Truly Blessed!

I went to school to read and write

I was taught to add, subtract, multiply, and divide right

I learned to memorize subjects, staying up nights

Literature, geography, history, chemistry, biology, algebra, geometry, I had to get them down tight.

Get them down tight.

Living under the family roof, we had our troubles, but it was still a comfortable ride

Food, clothing, shelter, people to correct and protect me by my side

But then suddenly I was an adult, and it could not be denied

It was time to think for myself, provide for myself, be my own protector, corrector, and guide

It was a matter of independence, learning to do things on my own, and pride.

A matter of independence, learning to do things on my own, and pride.

Becoming a working and earning person, I suddenly found I could buy

So many different things to make me feel happy, proud, important, or high

Foods, drinks, smokes, pills, clothes, gadgets, trinkets, vacations, all sorts of things to try

And in trying all sorts of things, I soon realized

Some things were enjoyable in the moment, only to later make you regret and cry.

Enjoyable in the moment, only to later make you regret and cry.

When it came to religion, being Christian, I went to Sunday mass, and learned to pray

To listen to sermons, say the rosary, observe Christmas and Easter, try not to go astray

But the sadness and evil in the world overwhelmed me, and so I decided one day

I would become a good person without letting God get in the way.

Without letting God get in the way.

And thus went my life, and it was not a straight line

I went this way and that, depending on how I was inclined

Accepting, rejecting, reaccepting, having to make sense of so many things over time

And now after a lifetime of lessons, my health, my lifestyle, my peace of mind, my memories, my relationships, and my reawakened spirituality, tell me I’m doing just fine.

I’m doing just fine.

Yes, family, teachers, church, friends, books, well-meaning friends, and advisors did their best

Then life took over, and did the rest

It opened doors, closed doors, dropped a ton of bricks on me, gave me important lessons and tests

And brought me to where I am today, in spite of challenges, heart-breaking losses, and missteps

Finding peace and a quiet contentment, with my current health, relationships, lifestyle, and a spiritual renaissance, for which I feel truly blessed.

Truly blessed.

Dear readers, thank you for being a part of my life, the construction of which has been going on for over a lifetime - with continuous renovations and restorations, as I learn from every experience, however joyous or devastating. As I learn from every relationship, however broken or whole. As I learn from every interaction, however expected or unexpected, however pleasing or upsetting. Bless you all this Thanksgiving weekend!

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Let Me Be Humble

Let me be humble

Not too proud to say I'm wrong

Let me avoid labeling those who contest me

As rascals or clowns.

Let me be humble

And not fret and fume in situations

In which I am confronted

By others of different persuasion.

Let me be humble

To see other points of view

Let me be more like a sponge than a rock

So my ideas and spirit can renew.

Let me be humble

And never become livid

When others tell me what they think

Let me not scold or punish them for being candid.

Let me be humble

And not think I am always right

Let me hear the other side

Without getting uptight.

Let me be humble

Before my days are gone

It is more important to be loving

Than it is to be right or wrong.

Let me be humble

And realize for all I have said and done

I am one of 8 billion

I am just one.

Let me be humble!

Sunday, November 13, 2022

Let Me Be Humble

Let me be humble

So my ego doesn't rise

Let me not want to strike back in anger or annoyance

And cut others down to size.

Let me be humble

And not always want to be right

Let me not through cruel or disdainful words

Cause injuries or slights.

Let me be humble

So as not to seek fame

Or to worry when someone attaches

Something negative to my name.

Let me be humble

So I can willingly serve

All kinds of people, even those who to me

Do not any goodness deserve.

Let me be humble

And admit to my mistakes

Let me not due to stubbornness

Honesty and clarity forsake.

Let me be humble

And not want only praise

Let me be open to both

Disregard and grace.

Let me be humble

And never abuse my position

Let me not be power-hungry

And disregard all but my own opinions and decisions.

Let me be humble!

Sunday, November 6, 2022

Let Me Be Humble

Let me be humble

So I can react with grace

When things are not in my favor

And don’t go my way.

Let me be humble

So when I look inside

I see thoughts clean of resentment,

Clean of jealousy and pride.

Let me be humble

So I can repent

For any wrongs I have done

With or without intent.

Let me be humble

And know when to take a step back

To celebrate and praise others

Without feeling any lack.

Let me be humble

And ascribe to grace and luck

All the good fortune in my life

Rather than hard work, choice, or pluck.

Let me be humble

And not place on a pedestal, only those who have my thoughts

Let me see this as a personal weakness

That daily must be fought.

Let me be humble

And learn to appreciate

The great variety of human beings

That populate this day and age.

Let me be humble!