Dear Diary - Charlie Sheen & Company Horrorscope

A person born in the Chinese Year of the Ox (also called Year of the Cow) commiserates with Kris Humphries...
Dear Diary – I feel so sorry for Kris Humphries.  Like me, he is born in the Year of the Ox. 2011 was not a good year for romance for Oxen.  In fact, if Kris had read the Chinese horoscope for Oxen at the beginning of 2011, I am sure he would not have tied the knot with Kim.  This is what the 2011 horoscope said about love in connection with being an Ox... “When a love opportunity appears, it might disappear pretty soon”. The same horoscope had other warning signs...“The fortune of 2011 is unstable. They will meet some rainy days and sunny days. Emotions will be up and down. But eventually, Cow people will be back to the quiet life”.  In other words, it was all there in black and white, dear diary – The Hi, let’s get married, bye, single again round trip experienced by Kris with Kim. But it’s 2012 now and if Kris reads his Chinese horoscope for 2012, dear diary, it paints a much nicer picture. It says: “this year your sky of love is full of romance and the single person will encounter with their soul mate this year.” The 2012 horoscope specifies Oxen will be most compatible with Snakes, Rats and Roosters, so I hope Kris is selective, dear diary.  BTW, dear diary...I am itching to ask Kris whether he keeps a diary and whether he plans to rip out the pages about Kim.  I am unsure what I would do in his place.  On one hand, I would be so tempted - who wants to be reminded about painful stuff one would sooner forget.  On the other hand, what if those memories contain the seeds of a fabulous novel or memoir like Circe by Anita Saran!  I don’t know what the right answer is, dear diary.

A Virgoan feels for Charlie Sheen...
Dear Diary -. Being a Virgo can be tough on people. The fifth line of the Wikipedia description of Virgoans explains why. Our sign is a mutable sign with an instinct towards changeability.  On top of that, Mercury is exalted in our sign and a strong Mercury can indicate fickleness or unhealthy restlessness. Any wonder so much bad stuff happened to Charlie Sheen in 2011.  How could he resist the strong forces of his Mercury? I would hate to be a celebrity like him because the media is brutal, dear diary. Look at the fun they had at Charlie's expense in this Comedy Central roast . The good news for Charlie, dear diary, - and I quote Wikipedia again - Virgoans have an easy ability to let go of past situations in preparation for future needs. This has been the case for me, dear diary, and I sure hope it will be the case for Charlie as well.  I read that he has started casting for his new FX show, Anger Management.  Good news, indeed. Finally, regarding the child custody problems Charlie has been facing, keeping him away from his twins, Charlie's fans can take comfort in the fact that "Virgoans hold a remarkable capacity to be comfortable in their own company". Here’s where I read that. I hope 2012 is a better year for Virgos like Charlie and me. I have my fingers crossed.

A hopeless gambler with a bad astrological chart feels a kindred spirit with Lindsay Lohan...

Dear Diary - My perfectly awful astrological start should have told me to lie low in 2011.  But no, I had to take chances knowing that Saturn was entering the 2nd house (or was it stellium entering the 12th house – I can’t remember). But that was a sign of impending financial difficulties and obviously my future self knew of this and was in control of the actions of my present self.  So before I knew it, I was at that casino rolling the dice to try to make some money for my future needs.  And before I knew it, I was several grand in the hole.  Just like Lindsay.  Probably stellium was entering the 12^th house for her in 2011 as well.  Otherwise, why would a person like Lindsay who can afford to buy the Queen’s Jewels, dear diary, steal a necklace from a jewelry store?  An astrological guru subsequently told me Lindsay might have been attracted to the necklace because the gems in it were the right ones to remedy her planets.  I would try to explain this to the judge if I were Lindsay, dear diary.

A person with an unhealthy addiction discovers the answers to his problems and Anthony Weiner's...

Dear Diary - I have a bad habit I need to give up. But I have a huge problem with self-control. So I decided to search for my answer on I-ching Online. I asked the question:  Why do I have such a problem with self-control?  I tossed the coin virtually six times and got my answer: Cast Hexagram 21, described as follows: 

The merciless, searing judgement of Lightning fulfills the warning prophecies of distant Thunder. 

Sage rulers preserved Justice by clearly defining the laws, and by delivering the penalties decreed.

Though unpleasant, it is best to let justice have its due.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

A terrible reckoning is due.
A wrong will be righted -- and even if it has been you who has been wronged, you will tremble at the terrible power of Justice untempered by Mercy.
Pray for your oppressor, that his punishment will fit his crime.

I immediately saw the light dear diary. It's not me that's at fault, but the people who have been tempting me.  I have started praying for them. I thought about Anthony Weiner.  He had an unhealthy addiction like mine and had to resign from Congress when it became public knowledge.  The media had a field day with it, what with his unfortunate name and all.  At first, I could not understand why Congressman Weiner would jeopardize a successful political career with such indiscretions.  But Cast Hexagram 21 gave me the answer. The ones who are tempting him are the oppressors and they will be punished.  Ex-Congressman Weiner should start praying for them immediately, dear diary. 

P.S.  Dear Reader - this is the third post in the Dear Diary series.  I know this series is a bit out there, but every now and then, I like to push the envelope. If you missed Dear Diary 1 – Socks with Holes Edition, or Dear Diary 2 – Jennifer Hudson Edition, you can read them here and here. 

P.S. 2: This post was inspired by a friend of mine who mentions her Chinese horoscope in every conversation (or every other conversation) she has with me.  You know who you are.  This post also brings back fond memories of a time when one of my dearest and oldest friends would subject me (and anyone else who was available) to some intense I-Ching sessions. Sarandipity, hope you are reading this!

P.S. 3: My post The Man in the Bath-tub mentions people I know who do Tarot and I-ching readings. 

P.S. 4:  Last but not least, hope you have a great 2012, i.e.your Mercury does not act up, your stellium does not enter the 12th house, Cast 21 Hexagram is not in play and if you are single, you meet the Snake, Rooster or Rat who is destined to become your future soul-mate. As always, thanks for reading!