Seek inspiration (and information ) (and consolation) for where you are in life

Where you are is precious.

It’s part of your journey.

Even if it is a painful part of your journey, it is part of your journey.

It is uniquely yours.

What brought you to this point is unique.

How you respond to it will be unique.

You can respond to it by retreating into your shell.

You can respond to it by striking out with venom, like a snake or a wasp strikes out with venom.

You can respond to by initiating a destructive behavior, and then like a stuck record, repeating the same behavior again and again.

Of course, there are other ways to respond to where you are at.

If you let emotions such as anger, fear, bitterness, or hopelessness take over your life, you will not be able to see these ways.

Because though they are completely in plain sight, they are visible only to those who have the heart to see them.

That is why the first step for someone who has suffered something, is not to take any action

Observe the different emotions you feel, without taking any action.

Other than to keep up with your routine, eat healthily, get a good night’s rest every night, take no other action.

Avoid resorting to destructive crutches.

Instead, maybe write a journal, or express yourself privately to a friend, or someone close.

Give yourself a time of inaction, until your emotions settle down.

Then seek inspiration (and information ) (and consolation) for what has happened, for where you are, and for what you are feeling.

Sometimes the inspiration, information and consolation may come from family.

Sometimes it may come from friends.

Friends have said some key things to me at key points in my life.

If you read my post the United States of Friendship - Part 8, which is about my friend Julia, you will learn what she said to me, when I was weighing the money value of giving up the telecommuting privileges I had as Palm Inc’s Commissions Analyst to become the Commissions Manager at Scios Pharmaceuticals.

And sometimes it may come from a random internet article or You Tube video.

You read or hear a few words, and it shifts your thinking.

But if you don’t have an open heart and mind, you will not see, or hear those words.

Because as I said, though they are within plain sight, you have to have an open heart and mind to see or hear them.

Every time I have demonstrated that kind of openness, I have found just the advice, the information, or consolation I need to deal with a tough situation.

It might come from a sermon in church, it might come from a story, quote, or poem, or as I said earlier, it might come from something someone says.

But wherever it comes from, it takes hold of my spirit, and helps me to make sense and to cope.

Here are some examples:

This Too Shall Pass

 – Unknown fable of Persian origin

We can be so sad when some things happen, we do not see that a day will come when we will not feel sad anymore, and we will find our joyous spirit again.

I used to be that way.

And then I read this story:

There once was king who was troubled.

He noticed in himself a tendency.

If he was saddened by something, he felt sad for a long time. He felt sad for far too long.  In fact, he felt so sad, he thought the sadness would never end.

Then when it ended, the kind would forget all about his sadness, and be happy.

And when he was happy, he would forget about his earlier sadness, and assume his happiness would last forever.

Until something sad happened again, which caused him to be sad all over again.

The king called his wise men and asked them if they could think of a solution to his problem.

He told them about his tendency to expect happiness to last forever, and expect sadness to last forever, and how it was not good for him, and he asked them if they could think of a way to help him.

The wise men went away to huddle and think.

When they came back to the king, they bore a finger ring they had created for him to wear.

The ring had a stone with 4 words inscribed on it.

The 4 words were “This Too Shall Pass”.

The king was intrigued and waited for the wise men to explain.

This is what the wise men said... 

They told the king he was to wear the ring and look at it whenever he was sad.  The words This Too Shall Pass would remind him his sadness wouldn’t last forever.

The king was also to wear the ring and look at it when he was happy. The words This Too Shall Pass would remind the king his happiness would also not last forever.

Ever after, the king was able to rein in his emotions whenever he was happy and whenever he was sad, with the help of the ring.

Whenever he was happy, he looked at the ring and it reminded him, “This Too Shall Pass”.

And whenever he was sad, he looked at the ring and it reminded him “This Too Shall Pass”.

The king had found a way not to think of happiness or sadness as a permanent condition. 

Ever since reading that story, whenever I find myself sad, and I cannot see that a day will come when I will not feel sad anymore, I say to myself, This Too Shall Pass and it keeps me going, as it once did that king.

Let's look at another example:

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value

 –Albert Einstein

Because I am a consultant, the work I do, does not come with trappings like a title, a salary, benefits, stock options or RSUs, promotions or bonuses.

But when I decided to become a Commissions Consultant, I gave up all of that to do like Einstein advises – focus my efforts, not on being a success, but rather on trying to be of value.

I love going into different companies and trying to be of value, actually maximum value.  I try to go above and beyond, if I can.

It is exhilarating to deliver value. And I believe Einstein’s advice is good advice for anyone who wants to succeed.

Focus on value - and the career progress and success you hope for will eventually come.

Focus on success without regard to delivering value, however, and not only will going to office quickly become a large millstone around your neck, making you feel like a dead man walking, but it will be a question of time before you and your job will have to part company.

It is far better to do as Einstein says. Strive not to be a success, but to be of value.

And one last example:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

-        Kalil Gibran

We should cherish the time we spend with our children.

The time we get to spend with them is a gift.

It is a gift that is given to us the day they are born.

And we do not know how long or how short a time we will get to enjoy this gift.

Because our children’s lives have their own reasons.

As Kalil Gibran says, our children are not our children, they are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.  They came through us, but are not from us. And though they are with us, yet they belong not to us.

If you keep these words of Gibran top of your mind - which are both prescriptive and consoling, you will cherish the time you get to spend with your children, no matter how long or short that time – so that when it comes to letting go of them, you can do so with grace, grateful for the precious time you had with them.

Acknowledgements

Thanksfor the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on some of my recent posts Was It Luck, Was It By Design, 25 Ways You Can Be A Superhero in Someone’s Eyes, Lessons From My Life(10 Things You Can Learn From My Experience). I appreciate the affirmations that I am on the right track from old friends and new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life. Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:to those with December birthdays. Hope you use your birthday month to find the inspiration, information, and consolation you need. It’s hidden in plain sight. I promise you!

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me,Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family,BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health 
Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories

Changing in Good Ways

Maybe Its Time To Become More Receptive, Maybe It’s Time To Live More Purposefully, Maybe It’s Time To Bust Some Myths, Maybe It’s Time to Walk In The Direction Of Your Fears, Maybe It’s Time To Understand What Freedom Is, Maybe It’s Time To Turn the Page, Maybe It’s Time To Rock The World, Maybe It’s Time For Freshness