Why I Am Not Afraid To Call The 'Good Old Days' The 'Bad Old Days'

“Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises.” 

Why I Am Not Afraid To Call The 'Good Old Days' The 'Bad Old Days'? Hmm...Let’s See…

1959 and earlier

Birth control pill not on the market. Margaret Sanger’s good work has yet to bear fruit.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1878 and earlier

Women are excluded from higher education at Harvard and most American colleges. 

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1828 and earlier

If a woman’s husband dies in India, she has to allow herself to be willingly burnt to death on her husband’s funeral pyre.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1918 and earlier

American women are not allowed to vote, and do not have the rights and responsibilities of citizenship. The 19^th Amendment has yet to be passed. The results of the tireless work of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott and Susan B Anthony are still in the future.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so. 

1838 -1867 (and earlier) (and for a good deal of time after)

An American married woman has no legal existence apart from her husband. Her rights and obligations are subsumed under her husband’s. She cannot own property, enter into contracts, or earn a salary.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

2017 and earlier

Women are sexualized and objectified. Jason Gaddis of the Good Men Project posed the question to his men friends on Facebook “Why do we objectify women” and here are some of the answers he got:

It’s biology

Because we just want to have sex

Because I’m a guy

I’m an animal, I’m supposed to want to have sex with every woman I see.

I’m just horny

It’s normal male behavior

I don’t objectify women

There were also some more sophisticated responses, but even after reading those, my answer is the same:

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1814 and earlier and later

Women are not allowed to be ordained pastors.  Men fight and succeed in keeping women out of spiritual leadership roles, even as recently as this year, when the Orthodox Union adopted a policy banning women from serving as clergy, from holding titles such as "rabbi", or from doing common clergy functions even without a title, in its congregations in the United States.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1899 and earlier

Women are not allowed to participate in the Olympics. Starting with the inclusion of women in lawn tennis and golf in 1900, women were allowed to participate in more and more events, but it was only in 2012 when we were allowed to participate in all events.

So 1899 – 2012. Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

1000 A.D. (and earlier) (and later)

The timeline for misogyny is infinite.  We can’t say when it started, and when it will end. There are no good old days ever when it comes to misogyny.

Saint Augustine, Bishop of Hippo Regius (354-430): Woman was merely man's helpmate, a function which pertains to her alone. She is not the image of God but as far as man is concerned, he is by himself the image of God

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900): When a woman has scholarly inclinations, there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs

Martin Luther, Reformer (1483-1546): The word and works of God is quite clear, that women were made either to be wives or prostitutes.

Thomas Aquinas (paraphrased) (1225 – 1274): Women are defective men, imperfect in both body and soul. They are conceived either because of defective sperm or because a damp wind was blowing at the time of conception. Women have a higher water content than men and that this makes them sexually incontinent. Since they are so watery, weak and unreliable they are inferior beings. 

Samuel Butler (1612-1680): The souls of women are so small, That some believe they've none at all.

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So, can any of the periods of time when these celebrated men were alive be considered 'good old days' for women? No, Nahi, Bushi, Nyet, Nee, Iaa, Nan, Non, Nej, Ne, Nun, Tidak, Nu, Khong, Nage…I don’t think so.

2017 (and earlier) (and later until it is stopped)

Women in backward areas in countries like India are regularly banished during their menstrual periods to a gaokor – a hut outside the village, or a room outside the main house.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

2017 (and earlier) (and later until it truly ends)

“A woman’s place is in the home” is the spoken or unspoken message, all women continue to receive, in one form, or the other; even the very clever tactic of modern husbands and fathers to over promise and under deliver on their household and parenting responsibilities serves to propagate this edict which was immortalized by Martin Luther, The Reformer, and which many 20th and 21^st century men have no hesitation in secretly or openly believing.

John Wayne (1907-1979): They have the right to work wherever they want to, as long as they have dinner ready when you get home.

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And so therefore, do I think the current times will qualify as the 'good old days' for women of the future? Hmm…I don’t think so

2016 (and earlier) (and later)

An American woman stands for elections, and does not win. Many American men are relieved.  Even watching the 2016 Democratic National Convention was too much for some of them.  Here’s Scott Adams of Dilbert fame:

Scott Adams (Dilbert creator): I watched singer Alicia Keys perform her song Superwoman at the convention and experienced a sinking feeling. I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration. Science says men’s testosterone levels rise when they experience victory, and drop when they experience the opposite. I watched Keys tell the world that women are the answer to our problems. True or not, men were probably not feeling successful and victorious during her act.

Good old days? Hmm…I don’t think so.

So to conclude, the good old days are still in the future for women. Now if you will excuse me…I have to go by the fire to mend some socks and scream if I hear any strange noises.

Acknowledgements

Thanks to Kristin Cashore, author of Graceling for the phrase " Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises" and thanks to Artsy Bee for the image used in this post.

next, Thanks to all the women and men who think women deserve better, and who act as if women deserve better.

next, Thanks to Ajay, to Divya, to Jyothi, to Kevin, and all else for their heart-warming feedback (comments, likes, shares) on my post 20, no 40, no 60 Things About Me That Surprise People Most. .

THEN, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with October birthdays.  Hope you use your birthday month to birth something new and wonderful in your life. If you can do anything to improve even one woman's life today, you are my hero.  If you can do anything which would improve many women's lives, you are an even bigger hero. Yay for you!

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me, Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family, BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health
Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories