Sunday, August 5, 2018

How To Live A Good Life - Part 3

Turn "I can’t" into "I can" by giving more things a chance.

Recently, I learned from a friend, that a friend of hers (whom I am acquainted with) was having a hard time getting a job.

Employers were turning her down, because she didn’t know Excel.
When I heard this, I immediately said to my friend, “Tell her to call me. I will teach her Excel.”
My friend said, “Yes, I thought of you. I guessed you might be able to help her with Excel.”
I remember how strange and frightening Excel was to me, when I first started to learn Excel.
It didn’t come naturally to me – not at all.
When we don’t know something, it frightens us to think we have to learn it.
I thought I would give learning Excel a try, but secretly I felt I wouldn’t succeed.
I am sure glad I did give it a try.
Because, frightened as I was, I learned Excel.
Not only that, from learning it out of necessity for my job as a Commissions Analyst, I went on to enjoy the process of increasing my knowledge of Excel, and I became better and better at it.
I have definitely come a long way from those early “terrified of Excel” days.
It is laughable to think I was once so nervous about Excel, and today I feel confident enough to teach it to someone.
It is intimidating to learn something new, to try something new, or to enter uncharted territory.
But give it enough time, and the scariest thing will become something you take for granted.
Remember how scared you were, when you first learned swimming?
Remember how scared you were when you first learned to ride a bicycle?
Remember how scared you were when you started Driver’s Ed?
And yet, today, you do all those things, and you just take it for granted that you can do all those things.
If trying something new is frightening to you, just think of how you learned to ride a bicycle, how you learned to swim, and how you learned to drive.
It’s the same thing.
Sooner or later, it will become second nature to you, just as bicycling, swimming and driving did.
I have been doing my own taxes since 2003.
Before I learned to do my taxes, I thought taxes were beyond me.
But I was wrong.
It was just fear, and inertia, and a reluctance to go out of my comfort zone, that made me think that.
Just like with Excel, after I took the plunge with taxes, I went from ignorance to knowledge, from fear to confidence.
I was not just able to do my own taxes.
I was able to pass on my knowledge to friends who were interested in doing their own taxes.
I was also able to help people do their taxes.
One of my friends liked my help so much, I would go over to her house and we would do her taxes together.  We have done this for several years.
Give yourself a chance to try something new, and one thing will lead to another.
That’s what my experience bears out.
Let’s look at another example.
When I first became aware of stocks through my friend Ajay (of A Short Stint in Advertising fame), ignorance and fear held me back.
When I got over my fear, and started investing, one thing led to another, and I became more and more comfortable and knowledgeable, not just about stocks, but about many other areas of personal finance.
If anyone came to me for advice, I would definitely have some insights to pass on.
I also gave a 3 part Money Workshop on Earning Money, Spending Money and Saving Money to GATE students at an elementary school.
I wouldn’t have been able to give this workshop, if I had not been able to conquer my fear of investing.
I also wouldn’t have been able to give the workshop, if I had not been able to conquer my fear of going up in front of an audience.
Going up in front of an audience has been an extreme fear for me, for all of my life.
But I joined Toastmasters.
At Toastmasters, I had to go up before a group of 10-15 people, and give different speeches.
I gave 10 speeches in all – which is what you have to do to complete your CTM, and get your Competent Toastmaster certification.
I memorized the speeches – a tip which a mentor gave to me.
But I was terrified I would forget the words, and I was terrified I would become tongue-tied, when I was up there in front of everybody.
Even if I didn't get tongue tied, my heart would be hammering, as I delivered my speeches. 
But after most of my speeches, I would get compliments.
What a relief – it seemed nobody could tell how nervous I was.
Toastmasters gave me the confidence to go up in front of 25-30 kids, to give that Money Workshop.
Personal finance and public speaking are 2 more areas, in which I was able to turn “I Can’t” into “I Can”, by giving myself a chance.
Don’t let limiting beliefs, fear and inertia limit your options, and limit your possibilities.
Turn "I Can’t" Into "I Can".
All it takes is a willingness to give yourself a chance.
You don’t have to remain where you are.
Propel your life forward by turning “I Can’t” into “I Can”.
Say yes to something new today.
Acknowledgements:
Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on Part 1 and 2 of this series. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.
NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and     future, for sharing my journey to wisdom,       meaning and a better life.  Like you, I am trying    to find my way through this complex maze we   call life, and I am honored to have you share     my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom   hidden in plain sight.
FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with August birthdays. Hope you use your birthday month to better your life by turning at least one “I Can’t” into an “I Can”.
Have a blessed week, and hope to see you next week.
P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:
Friendships
The United States of Friendship – Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6,Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10Part 11Part 12
Family
Pets
Nature

Hobbies
Managing Your Money
Simplifying Your Life
Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness
Learning to Laugh
Learning to Relax
Health
Pursuing A Dream
Changing in Good Ways

1 comment:

Unknown said...

A hard-hitting insightful post Minoo, that makes a determined effort to change negative mindsets into positive. A telling rendition in real life of Tennyson's classic words from 'Ulysses'- "Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
Yes, I CAN!
Ajay