Life Strategies - For those with one hand tied behind their back: 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong

I told myself what I want from a job is what I will always want from a job. It turned out to be completely wrong.

What I Want From A Job has changed several times over both my careers, my first career in advertising copy, and my second career in commissions administration.

What I Wanted During My first Career In Advertising copy:

At the very beginning of my first career as an advertising copywriter, I was happy just to be given a break.

It was super exciting to get my first regular job, because at the time, I was a college drop-out without a plan. I passed time by composing songs, writing freelance articles and tutoring foreign students.

In this goal-less, but creatively vibrant state, I was invited to interview for my first advertising copy job at a small advertising agency in the neighborhood where I lived.

Its mainstay accounts were government accounts, the work it did was solid, but nothing to write home about, but it was a perfect place for me to cut my advertising teeth at.

I stayed in this job for a year, and learned a lot about the advertising business.

When after a year, the owner of the company, who was also the manager of the company, told me she could not give me a raise because a proof-reading error had cost the company money on a reprint, I was upset.

I regretted all the overtime hours I had done for the company which I had not reported on my time-sheets – it now seemed foolish and idealistic to have done that - why had I done that? What had it gained me?

Immediately following the meeting with the manager, a Roarkish spirit came over me. I felt I deserved better for the time and effort I had dedicated to the company.

I had my manager’s secretary type up my resignation letter, and I went home.

And just like that, my first job came to an end.

It would be 3 months before I got my next job, which was a temporary job with more money. And it would be another 3 months before I got my next regular job, with even more money.

If I had been worried that walking out of my first job had been a mistake, the worry ended when I got this job.

I stayed in this next job for the next 3 years. They were marvelous interesting years. You can get a flavor of those years, from my friend Ajay’s entertaining post, A Short Stint in Advertising.

I wrote the “campaign of my career” at that job.

But after 3 years, I was restless and moved again for more money. In in my mind, more money meant more respect for my creativity, my skills, and my insights.

After that next move, which was motivated by money, I continued to move, but for reasons other than money.

When I thought I deserved more recognition as a creative talent, I moved.

When I thought I wanted to be in a more creative environment, I moved.

When I thought it would be nice to lead a team, I moved.

When I wanted a better cultural fit, I moved.

When I had reasons to change cities, I moved.

What I wanted kept changing.

And I moved to where I thought I would get what I wanted.

Eventually, I got to the point where what I wanted was the freedom to be my own boss.

So I started Purple Patch, my very own freelance creative agency.

As you can see, what I wanted from a job just kept changing and changing and changing.

And on more than one occasion, I gave up a job without another job in hand, because what I wanted most of all was to be out of that job – the job being bad for my self-respect, or sanity, in some way.

Jobs can be stressful that way. Sometimes I had to leave them just to think clearly and to stop doubting myself.

In more recent years, I have become more mature in my approach to jobs.

I have come to understand that jobs are stressful, only when you have expectations, and your expectations are not met.

The answer to the problem is so simple. Replace expectations with expectancy, and you are guaranteed to have a better experience with jobs.

Indeed, the minute I started doing that, I started having a better experience with jobs.

But it was well into my second career, before I developed that wisdom…

What I Wanted From My Second Career in Commissions Administration

In the beginning, my second career in Commissions Administration tracked much like my first career in advertising copy.

In my first commissions administration job, I was happy just to get a break.

Especially because that break was not by design, but by luck.

I did not have the skills for commissions administration. I did not even have competence in Excel, an absolutely essential skill for commissions administration.

But thanks to a Sales Manager who told me I should apply for the job, and thanks to a Sales Comp Manager called Laura, who was willing to take a chance on me, I got my first break as a commissions administrator.

Laura had to continually reassure me I could do the job. If not for her reassurance, I would have quit, running scared, when she told me she was going out on maternity leave, and I would have to step up and be both captain and first mate of the Palm Inc commissions processing ship in her absence.

If not for the one-on-one training Laura had given me (making me realize the inestimable value of apprenticeship as a way of learning), and her unwavering confidence in me, I may not have stayed the course in commissions administration.

But I did. And I soon realized what I needed to do next. Self-learning was what I needed to do next.

The college drop-out hit the books.

I got permission to buy and expense 5 different “Teach Yourself Excel” books.

With the help of these books by John Walkenbach, Allen Wyatt, and other Excel experts, I went from Excel-nervous to Excel-at-ease.

Which is just as well, because Excel can make or break a career in finance, commissions administration being no different.

If I hadn’t hit those books, I would not have been at ease handling larger and larger volumes of processing, and still achieving the twin goals of accuracy and timeliness.

Further, I would not have been in a bargaining position for what I wanted out of my Palm job next.

After achieving stability and ease of comfort in my Palm Inc commissions analyst job, what I wanted next was to be able to work from home.

This desire eclipsed the desire for higher professional status, or more money.

I wanted to work from home, so I could drop Tanita off at school, pick her up after school, and be home with her after school.

I initially requested wfh one day a week.

I had a manager who did not know anything about the “nuts and bolts” of commissions processing. When Laura did not return from maternity leave, my manager did not backfill her position. This was because he had quietly observed I was comfortable doing the commissions administration job on my own.

He got no complaints from any sales reps about wrong payments, or late payments, and he got no complaints from finance about accruals.

I knew he was grateful for the fact, everything was going so smoothly with sales commissions, in spite of him being so completely hands off.

This gave me negotiating power and leverage.

If you have created leverage, you have a better chance of getting someone to say yes to something.

I had created leverage from single-handedly taking on, what had once been a two position job, staffed by a manager plus an analyst.

When I asked to work from home one day a week, my manager immediately granted it.

When my manager changed, I had to negotiate work from home with my new manager. It was less easy, because I did not have leverage.

When that manager changed, it was even less easy.

But I persisted. 1 day wfh became 2 days wfh, then 3 days wfh. Eventually, just before leaving Palm, I was up to 4 days.

After a brief stint at Scios Pharmaceuticals, a job which made me realize all the things I didn’t want in a job – a long commute, tedious work, micromanagement, zero options to telecommute, I moved to Extreme Networks, where once again, I had the opportunity to create leverage, and then use that leverage to request work from home privileges.

It helped that I had 2 kind empathetic managers.

But as in my previous career, there came a challenging time, when all I wanted was “out”.

This was in 2010, when companies were laying people off left, right, and center, and trying to distribute the work of those they laid off amongst the remaining employees.

I found myself clashing with my boss’ boss over my telecommuting, and his attempt to get me and my boss to take on additional work. The company had laid off the person who had been doing Palm's revenue reconciliations, and my boss' new boss was trying to get the commissions team to take it on. I tried to argue my way out of it. When that didn’t work, I decided it was time to go. I quit.

At the time, I had professional confidence, financial confidence, and perhaps, most important of all, I had “psychological” confidence.

Deep down in my commissions administration bones, I knew I would land on my feet, and I was relieved to be out.

My downtime turned out to be a wonderful time and space in which to revisit choices and desires.

Jobs being scarce, I was on high alert for interesting ideas to act on.

One interesting idea soon presented itself, and it was the idea of doing the Xactly Admin Course.

Which I did, and it was well worth the $3000 I spent, because of what came after.

I got a call from Don, the general manager of one of the early Xactly software implementation companies.

He asked me if I would be interested in hopping on board his team as a contractor, to learn and to do Xactly software implementations.

I jumped at this opportunity, which had the potential to earn me more money, and increase my professional credentials.

After working on Don’s team for a year and a half, I decided to go it alone by becoming a commissions administration consultant.

Why a commissions administration consultant?

Because what I wanted from a job had changed again.

I wanted to be my own boss.

I wanted to help companies with their short-term commission administration needs, for which I knew there was a market.

The idea of being my own boss appealed so much to me, I was willing to forgo the typical benefits of employment for it – such as medical benefits, retirement benefits, vacation benefits, espp benefits, stock options and bonuses.

As to how I have been able to resist the easy money of employment for the hard money of self-employment, I constantly remind myself of the benefits of self-employment.

What I want out of a job today is to meet new people, experience new corporate cultures, learn about new comp plans and processes, and use my skills and experience to meet short term critical needs, delivering the highest value that I can, being the lowest-maintenance that I can.

That’s what I want out of a job today.

When what I want from a job changes, I may switch gears again.

Throughout all of this, I have learned a few things.

One of those things is it's important to be clear about what you want.

Because you can’t have everything!

You will have to give up some things to get other things.

Depending on what you want, you may have to give up a little, or give up a lot.

When I decided I wanted to telecommute, I had to give up a lot. I literally said goodbye to promotions, to being recognized as an MVP, to get a big pay hike, or a special grant or bonus. Not only that, I had to fight to keep my telecommuting, and I had to fight to keep work not related to commissions administration from being dumped on me.

Every decision you make will come with a price. For example, if you like a job because it is close to where you live, or it is part time, be warned, you may have to pay a heavy price for it, in terms of income potential, or the potential to gain experience and develop your skills.

If you are unsure of what you want, do the work to find out what you want and what you are prepared to do for it. The flower exercise in Richard Bolles’s What Color Is Your Parachute may help you.

Life is full of options.

What do you want for yourself?

And how can you tell if you really want that for yourself?

Does it pass the 10 signs test?

If you really want something, even though your imagination and will are currently lacking, and ingrained habits, and hopeless and helpless ways of feeling and thinking, are in the way, sooner or later, a new sense of purpose will be born, such that even the deepest ruts will not keep you from your purpose.

What this suggests is you should believe in the future.

Believe you will do wonderful things you can’t dream of doing now, which will make you feel differently from what you feel now.

Believe new ideas and triggers will emerge.

Believe new dimensions to your life will surface as a result of those ideas and triggers.

You cannot see these new ideas and new triggers because they are also in the future.

New ideas often emerge in response to problems.

What I wanted at different stages of both my careers kept changing.

I didn’t fret over those new wants, or see them as problems.

Problems lead to solutions, as I wrote in my post, The Element of Seeing All Problems as Puzzles and Its Hope for becoming Master Solvers.

So go ahead and say it… “Problems are good”.

And the next time you face a problem, say, “It’s time to put on my thinking hat and to seek a solution.”

You can even go a step further, by saying “I will not be intimidated by constraints, because constraints will lead to creative solutions”.

So get excited about the future, and about your changing wants.

Your ‘changing wants’ are a spur to your creativity, your talents, and to your next step forward.

Do come back next week for the eighth part of this series, 10 Things I Told Myself That Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong.

Acknowledgements

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on Part 1, 2,3, 4, 5 and 6 of this series. I appreciate the kudos from old friends, new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my journey to wisdom, meaning and a better life. Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out: to those with June birthdays. Use your birthday month to list what you want out of a job, and if you really, really want it, sooner or later you will think of ways to get what you want. Guaranteed!

Have a blessed week, and hope to see you next week.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you want to read the other posts in this series, you can do so here.

Take me to Part 1 of 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong (Marriage and Driving)

Take me to Part 2 of 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong (The I’m a Words Person, Not a Numbers Person Notion)

Take me to Part 3 of 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong (The Invest Like Warren Buffett Fiasco)

Take me to Part 4 of 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong (Health Misinformation)

Take me to Part 5 of 10 Things I Told Myself Which Turned Out To Be Completely Wrong (Tax Cluelessness)

If you have still more time, featured below is a sprinkling of older posts:

Friendships