How Often Should You Revisit Your Desires, Dreams and Choices?

My personal experience suggests there are more than 10 occasions when you should seriously consider doing so, starting with when there’s a milestone event in your life

1.   When There’s a Milestone Event in Your Life

       Whether it’s graduating from high school, or graduating from college, getting married, or having a baby, milestone events are a time to revisit your dreams, desires, and choices.  For instance, when I had Tanita, my priorities changed.  Flexibility to work from home was what I wanted most out of a job, and so I sought it out on every job.  In fact, what attracted me about the job of being a Commissions Analyst was that it could be done entirely from home.  When I had Tanita, I changed behaviors and interests too.  I stopped drinking altogether. And for entertainment, I had friends over once a week.  The rest of my free time was spent finding ways to entertain Tanita.  I teamed up with Nadya and other friends who had children who were around Tanita's age, and we would go to Happy Hollow Park and Zoo, Bamboola, The Jungle, Great America, Raging Waters, to the skating and ice-skating rink, the San Francisco Zoo, the Exploratorium, swimming pools, and more.

    When you have a milestone event in your life, spend some time to think about what choices and routines you should change. It will be time well spent.

2.  When You Lose Someone

       In my case, it was losing my mother. It led me to make significant strides in anger management, and to become more of the kind of person I admired - a low maintenance person. The initial change, talked about in an earlier post, The Path to Change, led to me eventually learning to meditate. I have now been meditating on a regular basis for almost 8 years, and I have been going from strength to strength in my quest to give up ego attachments, with all sorts of side benefits, including telepathy.

       Yes, losing someone is an occasion on which you  should definitely revisit your desires, dreams, and choices.

3.   When You Experience a Major Setback

       Of my setbacks and losses, my depression stands out as one that made me realize, what was good for me and what was bad for me, what was necessary to my life, and not necessary to my life, and what was missing from my life.  It led me to make several life changes, the biggest of which was deciding to have a child, and deciding to move to America.

      An interesting side note.  My post about my depression, which you can read here, is titled, If Life Is So Good, Why Do I Feel So Sad?  I have grown stronger and happier with every year, since I overcame that depression.  So much so, a day might come when I will write the post, “If Life Is So Bad, Why Do I Feel So Happy?”  It is not inconceivable.

       The message is: Never get discouraged by a setback, even as horrible as a depression. It is an opportunity to make changes, and experience a greater level of happiness and comfort than you can imagine.

4.   When You Have A Wake-up Call

       Of all the personal wake-up calls, perhaps a good one for me to talk about is the wake-up call I got from a life insurance company.  It was when I tried to renew a 10 year term life policy with them.  I asked the agent how I could get the lowest level premium. She said the best level premiums were offered to Preferred Plus customers. I could have a health examination and based on the results, I might be eligible for that Preferred Plus premium. I thought "Ha, I am in great shape.  I will definitely be eligible."  So I said "yes, let's do the health examination".

       Now comes my wake-up call - I did not make the cut for Preferred Plus.  I had a normal BMI, a perfect ticker, great blood pressure, good cholesterol readings.  And more.  But there was one aspect of my health profile which disqualified me.  Want to know what it was?

       It was my HbA1c - or average blood sugar level over 3 months.  Unfortunately, it was 6.4 – which was the highest end of the pre-diabetes range. If my reading was any higher - 6.5, I would be diabetic.

       Boy, was that the wake up call of my health life. I said what does the insurance company know that I don’t? I decided to learn everything I could about pre-diabetes and diabetes, and to take steps to bring down my HbA1c.

       Today, my diet is radically different – for the foods I no longer eat (rice, wheat, grains, most fruit, most dairy, all starchy vegetables); and for the foods I have added (fats such as coconut oil, butter, avocado, heavy whipping cream). And I have made positive progress in bringing down my HbA1c.  It was 5.6 when I last checked.

      Yes, a wake-up call is supposed to do exactly what it says.  Wake you up. Don’t ignore it.

5.   When what you have been doing is not working

        

       I love this one.  It’s how I turned my relationship with my daughter from one of frustration to one of appreciation. How? I woke up to the fact I needed to become more accepting, more empathetic, more relaxed, and more understanding.  Along the way, I went from Tiger Mom to Helicopter Mom to Hippie Mom – graduating Summa Cum Laude.  Interested in finding out more?  Read my post, “It’s Called Motherhood 2”.

       When what you have been doing is not working, what should you do?  Try a different tack.  That’s what you should do. Believe me, it works.

6.   When something shakes you up

       Have you heard about Diogenes of Sinope? Never mind if you haven’t. I wrote a post dedicated just to him, “The Man In the Bathtub”. You can read it.

       Diogenes was shaken up when he and his father were discovered to be counterfeiting money and banished from Sinope.

       It shook him up. That, and a spiritual awakening  at the Oracles of Delphi made him a changed man. He began to live a life that was so unusual, his name made history.

       There will be occasions in your life when  something shakes you up.

       My depression was definitely one such occasion.

       But I am regularly shaken up by what I read and hear.

       Like when I hear that someone I know, or I know of, has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and has just months to live.

       Or when I learned about this week’s school shootings in Florida.

       It wakes me up to the value of life, and not making mountains out of molehills, and not causing inconvenience or pain to other people, and not spending my time flippantly, or on fripperies.

       When you are shaken up by anything, don’t dismiss it. Let the experience make you realize the value of life, and make you a better person.

7.   When you make a geographical move

       What’s the point of transplanting yourself, if you don’t thrive in the soil in which you’ve transplanted yourself? I was faced with this possibility when I immigrated to America.  I had to learn to thrive in a new culture, with different challenges, and different opportunities.  I learned to drive, I learned to cook, I learned to do laundry. And I learned to adapt to new career options, beginning with the admin position I  sucked at, as described in my post, The United States of Friendship Part 2.

       I became one with America.

       If you make a geographical move, it is a classic opportunity for revisiting your desires, dreams and choices, a classic moment for reinvention.

8.   When the course you are on is causing you to lose sleep

      

       Losing sleep over anything is not worth it.  I realized this after some flaming fails in my life. One example was my approach to investing.  For a while, I was jazzed about trying out investing ideas I had just discovered. They were old ideas, but just because I had just discovered them, I thought they were MY BIG SECRET.  Idiot! ‘Dogs of the Dow’ was one of them. Bottom fishing was another.  Investing like Warren Buffett, another. Surely, I could find mispriced gems like him.  Idiot Minoo!

       I discovered that I was chasing rainbows. And I was setting myself up to lose money and lose sleep. Among several flaming fails, there was Krispy Kreme.  I did get a Toastmasters trophy for my speech about my investment in Krispy Kreme. But what was the cost of the lesson behind that trophy?  This post will tell you.

       After I determined I had spent enough time embarrassing myself and making my not so deep pockets, shallower, I decided on my sleep easy investing philosophy.  I cured myself of fidgety Buy Sell fingers.  Do you need a cure for fidgety Buy Sell fingers, and loss of sleep? Try my sleep easy investing philosophy.  It works.

9.   When you realize that physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, you are in a different place

      

       How does the same person who had a string of boyfriends, when she was younger, decide to live life as a single?

       How does the same person who was an atheist for most of her life, go to church almost every Sunday?

       How does the same person who could not skip a single meal, become capable of eating once every 24 hours, if she chooses to?

      All the questions above are about me.  And I can tell you the answer.  The answer is by being in a different place.

       I am in a different place mentally and emotionally, so I enjoy singlehood.

       I am in a different place spiritually, so I enjoy going to church on Sundays.

       I am in a different place physically, so I can go 24 hours without eating if I choose to.
      It is a wonderful thing to realize you are in a different place physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally.  It opens up your options.
      Sit down and write how you are in a different place physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, than you were 5 or 10 years ago. Read my post "The Element of Knowing How We Think Is Not How We Are Always Going to Think" for inspiration.  Then think about the new options you have as a result of being in a different place. Enjoy the expanded choice you have.

10.   When you hear the call     

       
        So many amazing things happen because you “hear a call”. St Augustine heard a call. My post “What’s Next For You?” is dedicated to the excitement of people “hearing their call”.
   

       I am called to write a blog post every Sunday.

       I was called to do the Xactly Admin Course.

       I was called to become a Commissions   Consultant.

       I was called to learn to meditate.

       What is life calling you to do?

11.  If you are running out of time

      

       I have become more and more aware of how precious life is, with each passing year, and it makes me focus on the things that really matter to me.

       It has led me to stop doing things just because I have “always been doing them.”

       It has led me to stop stewing about unnecessary things.

       Don’t waste the time you’ve been given.

       Don’t waste the time you’ve been given with your children. Before you know it, they will be grown up and gone, and you will get very little of their time.

       Don’t waste the time you’ve been given with your family, your friends, your partner.  Before you know it, that time will be gone.

       Time is something we can never get back.

       I have written 2 fiction posts which are fun to read and may trigger something in you in connection with the fact “time is running out”.

       The Day The New Ruj Das Began tells you about  a successful sibling who realizes she has been a  jerk to her mom, her sister, her husband and her kids, even if she has been generous with money.

       The Ticking Clock Association tells you about a guy who dies prematurely, and comes up with an idea to make sure his buddies live more meaningful lives than he did, while they still have time.
                   
                        XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

       How often should you revisit your desires, dreams, and choices? I've come up with 11 valid occasions when you should seriously consider doing so. I hope one, or all of them, will resonate with you strongly enough, that you make some changes, and put yourself on a different path for the rest of your life. Make the rest of your life better than the life already behind you - no matter how good that life was.

Acknowledgements

Thanks for the feedback, (comments, likes, shares) on some of my recent posts Was It Luck, Was It By Design, Seek Inspiration and (Information) and (Consolation) for Where You Are in Life, Lessons From My Life(10 Things You Can Learn From My Experience).  I appreciate the affirmations that I am on the right track from old friends and new friends, and relatives who have become friends. You keep me going.

NEXT, Thanks to all readers, current and future, for sharing my Journey to Wisdom, Meaning and a Better Life.  Like you, I am trying to find my way through this complex maze we call life, and I am honored to have you share my journey, as I continue to seek the wisdom hidden in plain sight.

FINALLY, A Happy Birthday shout-out:  to those with February birthdays.  Hope you use your birthday month - a milestone event - to revisit your dreams, desires, and choices - for the better, no actually, for the best.

P.S. Not sure if you have time, but if you do, you may enjoy these other posts:

Friendships

The United States of Friendship – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Family

Our Cake Boss Family, Family Songs, The Nightdress Brigade, Family Advice I Am Grateful For, The Porki And Bonkers Tradition, No Need for 23 and Me,Letters to Lucas, Flying Lessons

Pets

A Fresh Perspective on Pets, Secrets of The Super Models In Our Family,BowWow, Meoww, Why You Should Not Abandon Your Pet

Nature

Post on Trees, Reprising Joy Kilmer

Hobbies

Cricket, Glorious Cricket, Splendid Post, What!

Managing Your Money

Yoga for Investors, How to Turn Your Girl Scout or Cub Scout Into a Stock Scout, Financial Piece of Mind, Financial Piece of Mind – Part Deux, A Retirement Planning Formula You Won’t Find on Oprah

Simplifying Your Life

You know what Wesabi is, How About Wabi Sabi?  The Simple Life, The Element of Simplicity and Its Hope for Living a More Satisfying Life

Getting Over Your Self-Consciousness

The Element of Release From Inhibition, The Element of Being Less Self-Centered and Its Hope for Seeing Things in The Correct Light, The Element of Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone and Its Hope For Experiencing More of What Life Has to Offer

Learning to Laugh

How To Deal With The Sheldon Coopers in Your Life – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3,Part 4, The Nightdress Brigade, You Aced the SAT, How About the LAT?, How To Cause Atmost Confuzen at the Scripps Spelling Bee, How To Go From Madonna to Lilly to Myrtle in The Course of A Single Evening - And Even Have a Sex Change, A Facebook Face-Off, A Short Stint in Advertising

Learning to Relax

How To Become a Low Maintenance Person, Connected Minds, How To Become The Kind of Person People Want to Work with, How Many Times a Day Do You Visit Ireland? The Art of Carrying Things Lightly

Health

Raising the Bar, 4 Healthy Eating Ideas I Learned from My Friend Julia, The Element of Becoming More Focused and Precise In Our Goals and Its Hope for Achieving Powerful Results

Pursuing A Dream

What’s Next For You? The Element of The First Step and Its Hope for Getting Big Things Started In Our Lives, She Victories

Changing in Good Ways

Maybe Its Time To Become More Receptive, Maybe It’s Time To Live More Purposefully, Maybe It’s Time To Bust Some Myths, Maybe It’s Time to Walk In The Direction Of Your Fears, Maybe It’s Time To Understand What Freedom Is, Maybe It’s Time To Turn the Page, Maybe It’s Time To Rock The World, Maybe It’s Time For Freshness